June 16, 2025

Avengers Infinity Wars: What Happens When Power and Leadership Collide

Send us a text We examine the six Infinity Stones from Marvel's Avengers: Infinity War and extract powerful leadership lessons from each one that can help us become more effective, balanced leaders. • The Power Stone demonstrates the difference between personality-driven leadership and team-centered leadership • The Space Stone warns against taking up too much room in your organization out of insecurity rather than necessity • The Reality Stone reveals how we must distinguish between changin...

Send us a text

We examine the six Infinity Stones from Marvel's Avengers: Infinity War and extract powerful leadership lessons from each one that can help us become more effective, balanced leaders.

• The Power Stone demonstrates the difference between personality-driven leadership and team-centered leadership
• The Space Stone warns against taking up too much room in your organization out of insecurity rather than necessity
• The Reality Stone reveals how we must distinguish between changing realities and unchangeable truths in our leadership
• The Soul Stone challenges us to define our purpose beyond our position, considering all the relationships we impact
• The Time Stone teaches intentionality with our most valuable resource, showing how leaders must forecast and prioritize
• The Mind Stone illustrates the critical balance between knowledge and wisdom, especially in an AI-driven world

Share these episodes with your people and let us know what you think. We want you to be part of this community as we continue to grow a community of unlearners who want to gain the courage to change their minds so they can experience more freedom.

00:00 - Welcome to the Unlearned Podcast

02:35 - Marvel vs. DC: Cinematic Preferences

06:31 - Introducing Infinity War & The Stones

13:57 - The Power Stone: Leadership & Control

27:50 - The Space Stone: Taking Up Too Much Room

39:37 - The Reality Stone: Truth vs. Perception

48:57 - The Soul Stone: Purpose Beyond Position

01:02:54 - The Time Stone: Managing What Matters

01:08:40 - The Mind Stone: Knowledge vs. Wisdom

01:22:49 - Closing Thoughts & Encouragement

WEBVTT

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hello everybody and welcome once again to the unlearned podcast.

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I am your host, ruth abigail aka ra.

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What's up, friends?

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It's your girl, jaquita, as she pulls the mic closer to her.

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Thank you very much my bad friends, my bad and this is, this is the podcast that is helping you gain the courage to change your mind, and to change your mind so that what quita, so that what they can, what that you can experience more freedom.

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Look at that, look at that, look at that and we are uh so excited to be with you again.

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As you know, we are in our summer movie series and we are having a great time.

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We have you have listened to several so far.

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Y'all let us know how you're liking this series.

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We enjoy it.

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We are enjoying talking about these movies.

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You know, you just don't even realize how deep some of this stuff was, but it, like the stuff that we're talking about, was going into your psyche, it was and like, yeah, and it, it.

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It really does inform the way that we, the way that we lead, the way that we relate, the way that we build and construct, like how we're going to move forward in our lives in different areas, and so it's in us there are themes that I know.

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I was definitely not thinking about when I saw him the first time.

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You know what I mean?

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Absolutely not, because most of the time I'm looking at that movie I'm like man, these people are hilarious.

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Yeah, and it's okay.

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Yeah, it's just entertaining.

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You know what I'm saying.

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Yeah, we had a good time.

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We're having a good time, so if y'all are enjoying it, do us a favor.

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Okay, like, share, subscribe, get in that room.

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Thank you To the Unlearned Podcast.

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Make sure to share these episodes with your people and let us know what you think.

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We want you to be part of this community as we continue to grow a community of unlearners.

00:02:02.153 --> 00:02:04.126
Y'all who want to grow A community of unlearners, come on.

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Come on, a community of unlearners y'all who want to grow, come on, we can start like an unlearners academy.

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I shouldn't even say it it's on air y'all stay tuned y'all stay tuned.

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We might put a little something together for you.

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We gonna put a pin in that and we gonna let y'all know what happened today tell a friend to tell a friend.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah we're such middle adults we put something like a leadership symposium oh man, oh my gosh that's great.

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Um, all right, ruth, abigail, I got a question for you.

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What's up as we think about what our movie is today that we're going to talk about?

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I need to know are you a dc or marvel girl?

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Marvel.

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I will say, by the way, marvel movies, dc TV, dc TV shows are on point.

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Listen most people who know me know how hard I get down with the Flash.

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She loves the Flash.

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Me and the Flash.

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She loves the.

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Flash.

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I've seen every single episode probably three times, because I'll go back and rewatch season.

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I'm rewatching the arrow right now which I enjoy.

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I could not the arrow is too dark.

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Like it starts off and he in a doggone boat, somebody about to die?

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It's definitely dark.

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It's dark and all the scenes are dark Like why is he always moving around in the shadows?

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and stuff, it is true, but I don't know.

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I like the storyline a lot and the Flash is cool, but the Flash is a little too light.

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It's weird, it's a little too, and that's exactly.

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See everyone here and again, I am a general, though I'm light, I'm a general.

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no here again lies the difference between me and Ruth Abigail.

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Light and dark, okay, because I'm just kidding.

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Oh man, just jokes, friends.

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It's hilarious.

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But I would say, like in our movie preferences, though probably I'm a little bit more upbeat Okay, ruth, abigail is the arrow.

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Okay, I like the arrow.

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He rarely even smiles.

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It's he rarely even smiles.

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It's true, no, it's true I can't get down with it but the later seasons they have a little bit lighter feel to it because more characters come yeah the only reason I really know much about them is because they started doing those cross episodes with the Flash exactly here we go.

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Now we gotta go down there to Day City and get this over with anywho, anywho for the movie cinema world.

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Marvel has it hands down you know, one of the greatest IPs ever.

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Intellectual property yeah, man, fantastic IPips.

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Okay, stellar on the ips.

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Okay, um, but listen, I am definitely a marvel girl.

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Okay, we don't miss, I don't miss an x-men movie.

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Okay, I first of all.

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X-men movies are so deep, they're so deep they're so deep I don't miss an x-men movie.

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I don't miss any of the uh, marvel cinema.

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I'm down with you know, when they start getting into them side characters.

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Sometimes I'll be like, wait a minute, like who, what you know?

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When they started getting into the insects, I was all right, I was with you for ant-man now we got a wasp.

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And now there's what?

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Then there's something else too.

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I was like I'm lost.

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I'm not a huge fan of Ant-Man, but the other ones.

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I'm with.

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I love him as a person and as a contributor to the overall team, right to the overall narrative, to the overall team.

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But solo character.

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Eh, you know, I could take it or leave it.

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But you know I could take it or leave it, but you know, I think I could.

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These are movies I could watch over and over again, for sure, and the one we're talking about today is one of my personal favorites.

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Yeah.

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So I mean, in order to talk about Marvel movies, there's a really easy way to get everybody in there all at one time.

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And it is friends, the all right, the avengers all right now.

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The first avengers was.

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It was a cool, cool introduction to everybody.

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Uh, age voltron.

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Nobody really watched that, one don't sleep on edge ultron nobody age ultron was actually a really good movie.

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We were all confused, you were confused.

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Age ultra was a really good.

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I only went back and watched it because of what happened in endgame and they were like, oh look, he got the hammer.

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And I was, okay, why did captain america, why was that such a big deal?

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and then I went back and I was like, oh now you know which one I didn't watch for a while was Civil War.

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But I was like Civil War was really good.

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But I didn't watch that for a while.

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Winter Soldier which I know it's not.

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It's Captain America, but like and so it's technically Civil War.

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The Captain America movies, though feel like Avengers movies.

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Yeah.

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Versus the Iron man movies.

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They are their own thing.

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They are their own thing.

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You know.

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But like the captain america movies, it's like man, this man, yeah, stands for us all okay, and he usually is like he's rubbing shoulders yeah, okay with other people, sure, sure.

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You know what I'm now.

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What I still don't understand is how bucky is in everybody's story, like bucky the winter soldier, this man show all of a sudden he's in wakanda chilling, yeah, yeah, you know in a in a hut yeah, like it is.

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It is pretty wild how threaded these things are together yeah, I mean I am just completely fascinated by the, the, the storytelling you know acumen for sure uh, that is the marvel universe.

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I, yeah, absolutely love it.

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Um, you know.

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So we are are going to be talking about a particular Avengers movie.

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We debated which one we were going to do.

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I personally like this one because I like the tense ending.

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I like movies that are not predictable, and this one I did not see it coming.

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I didn't see it when I first watched it.

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You know, I did not see it coming.

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I didn't see when I first, when I first watched it.

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you know I was definitely in the theater and I I was like, you know, I mean it, like there, no, they're gonna.

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I mean they always win, like it's not through, they're gonna, you know.

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But it's like hold on and and it ended.

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It was just like Well, I mean, I remember OK, you all know we're talking about Infinity War, for sure, talking about Infinity War, you know it's that it is Infinity War and Endgame are the ones that, like you, had to go to the theater, oh Lord, to see those.

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Ok, you couldn't just watch those on the Disney Plus, oh no, all right, you had to go to the theaters.

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And I just remember, at the end of Infinity War, being in the theater, like we felt, like our world was, like I was looking around like y'all still here.

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We just felt lost.

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We just felt lost, yeah, when he snapped and people, you started seeing the little shimmery dust.

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You know, it was wild.

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It was like this can't be the end like that, obviously somebody's gonna come and it's gonna and it's just and.

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But what I love about it is I am a big, I love story, I love the process of it and what I really enjoyed about this is watching, um, the kind of what we're going to lean in today, lean into today are is kind of the core of this whole thing, which is the, which are the infinity stones right, they are the drivers of the conflict and it was what I like about this.

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Is it pulled?

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This is the first movie that pulls all the movies together.

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Yeah, it just pulls all of them together.

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There's no other movie that pulls it all together, and so you're seeing these small little excerpts from every movie, and like before, at least I didn't.

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For those of you that were comic readers and knew this, I mean, I'm sure you were way ahead of the game.

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I don't read comics and I didn't know that.

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You know I didn't see it, but when you're looking at like Dr.

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Strange, or Captain America, and you know, um, uh, the, the age of Ultron, which did, which did introduce that reality stone, um, and the mind stone which you, you wouldn't have, you wouldn't have known, right.

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So, like I appreciate it for its historical context.

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You have to have.

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You know, I'm saying those are important, and so it pulls all these things together and it's like you.

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Just it reminds you, oh shoot, oh shoot, oh shoot, and I just love stories like that and so this.

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So we want to talk about these stones, because these infinity stones there are six of them, right, and they represent what it is to be a god.

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Really, you know, when you put it in, when you look at all the different stones.

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I don't like saying a god.

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A leader is sufficient.

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No, I'm sorry, no, I can't agree with that, because everything that you have, all these stones, that, when you put it together, it represents God likeness.

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I'm not saying God, but I am saying God likeness and that's, and so so that.

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But that is a danger, that's the danger of the stones, and what the danger of what thanos wanted to do was essentially play god is what he, what he wanted to do, which was destroy, yeah, destroy and create, and his own will, um.

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I am not saying I got you, I got you, I got you.

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I just ain't with the language.

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But whatever I mean, it is what it is.

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Nevertheless, big G, little G, there is no God but Jehovah.

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Yes, okay, no God like him, I'm not going to get into a theological argument with you on this podcast, not to come afterwards.

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We could go toe for toe.

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For that I mean we could we there's there's, there's there's a.

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You know, when you talk about got like little the, the, no, I ain't gonna go there, I ain't gonna go there.

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Girl, if you don't get out, sorry, I'm talking to you like we.

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Not on air.

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Okay, we're going to be respectful Producer.

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Joy on air okay, we're gonna be respectful producer.

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Joy y'all producer.

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Joy gonna, she gonna get us, she gonna get us she's gonna get us episode.

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She's not gonna like it, okay.

00:12:51.432 --> 00:13:06.029
So I think that, um, one thing before we talk about the stones, one thing that ruth abigail and I really noticed that I think it's kind of swirling around like what the collection of these stones mean.

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Yeah, right, is this idea of personality driven leadership versus a leadership that's more team-centered?

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And when you look at thanos, because when you set the movie up right, you have we start off on, uh, in a dreary land, right, and it was a dark and a dreary land right and Thanos has this huge glove and he already has one of the stones in there, which is the power stone it's the power stone, so he already has this power stone, and so he's already gone to like Thor's homeland and started destroying their people and taking power over that, over that land.

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And it is when you start seeing how Thanos is a person who has followers.

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Right, it is.

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It is all of these creatures that he has gathered for his cause, and they are following every time they show up in a new city.

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They're like greetings Earth.

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You have been visited by the amazing Thanos who will come to kill you.

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Yeah, and you should be grateful.

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And you should be grateful that this personality has come to include your death as a part of their plan.

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Right, but it is.

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It is.

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Everybody is very much focused on who Thanos is and what Thanos said that he can do, what it is that he's able to do, so much so that it oftentimes leads to the sacrifice of anything that's not in alignment with what's in his mind, and that's very different from the Avengers, who all stand in their own leadership but have to find ways to link together at different sections of the movie in order to.

00:15:06.033 --> 00:15:18.553
Basically, they're trying to keep something, whereas thanos is trying to destroy something and so in.

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In that, I think, when we look at this power stone and we look at what power is right, my Lord, I think the definition of power that I hear the most often is the ability to get something done.

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I was trained to think about power in the context of community organizing, one of the organizations I'm involved with, and when we would get trained, they would often ask what do you think about when you think about power?

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And most of the terms were terms like destructive, selfish, self-centered, not caring about people, only caring about yourself, money, hungry, that kind of thing.

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Nothing really positive, right?

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Nothing really positive about what you think about when you think about a person who wants power.

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They would ask us do you want power, do you want to be powerful?

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And it was very interesting because it was almost people didn't want to say yes.

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You didn't want to say yes because you didn't want to be perceived that way, but the reality is you need power, but the question is, what do you need it for?

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And I think this is the tension in the movie.

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Right, thanos wanted power to destroy, like you said, he wanted power to enact his own will yeah on everybody else at the detriment of them yes and but what?

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What the avengers had to learn how to do was share power.

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They were all powerful in and of themselves but what they didn't do is they didn't say, like captain america could have said okay guys, this is that like we're going to, we're going to do it this way and it's going to be for this purpose and all of you were like he allowed everybody to, or everyone allowed everyone to function in their own power and they shared the victory Right Um, and, and that's the difference.

00:17:30.028 --> 00:17:35.787
Power is not bad, but we have to unlearn that power is not something we should, we shouldn't want.

00:17:36.167 --> 00:17:38.241
Right, I think we should want to be powerful.

00:17:38.241 --> 00:17:43.141
You need to understand why you want to be powerful and you have to make sure that you understand.

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It is not in and of yourself, it is a shared experience.

00:17:46.746 --> 00:17:56.526
Yeah, you have to be aware, power is kind of like the chain link that is connecting two big ideas, right.

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So you have the idea of who you are and you have the idea of what you're called to do and what that's connected to like a bigger purpose.

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And power is what connects who you are to what you're called to do, right.

00:18:11.438 --> 00:18:25.309
But if you are situating what you're called to do in selfish ambition, are in uh, you know, this is my idea and I'm the only one if you're situating your assignment and pride, it's going to fall.

00:18:25.309 --> 00:18:29.201
It's simple, it's going to fall right.

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You have to situate who you are and what you're called to do in something that's bigger than yourself, or else that power will get misappropriated.

00:18:39.844 --> 00:18:55.096
And I think one of the most powerful sorry, one of the most powerful kind of examples of the use of power and then the aftermath of it, was with the Hulk.

00:18:55.096 --> 00:19:01.519
You know, in this movie, in every other movie, you know, we're like all right, this is better Smash smash yeah.

00:19:01.558 --> 00:19:05.442
Yeah, like hey man bring out the guy, all right, we need him.

00:19:05.442 --> 00:19:10.170
All right to smash some stuff, throw some stuff around, get some stuff done.

00:19:10.170 --> 00:19:16.247
You know like, when you need a, you know your heavy hitter, all right, you, you need the big man, he's your guy.

00:19:16.247 --> 00:19:22.691
And so loki, literally in that point in the movie, says you know like, and, and he's not even worried.

00:19:22.691 --> 00:19:26.582
He says, ain't nobody worried about you, thanos, we have a hope.

00:19:26.582 --> 00:19:33.094
And here comes the hope and he, he, he is like, going at it, like doing, he's doing.

00:19:33.094 --> 00:19:38.472
Oh, he's doing what he's always done in the way that he's always done.

00:19:38.472 --> 00:19:48.471
Yep, but when you get to something that is greater than where you've been, come on Right and it defeats you, work it out Right.

00:19:48.853 --> 00:19:49.554
I know, right, it's it.

00:19:53.000 --> 00:19:56.748
Y'all, the fact that we know each other so well.

00:19:56.748 --> 00:19:58.832
It is scary sometimes.

00:19:58.832 --> 00:20:01.526
It really is, it really is.

00:20:01.526 --> 00:20:05.790
She knows exactly what my brain is doing in this moment.

00:20:10.045 --> 00:20:33.036
Nevertheless, when you face something that you've never faced before, that's greater than where you've been, and you're trying to use who you were and what you had before to accomplish this task you had before to accomplish this task, that moment of defeat made the Hulk feel so powerless that he refused to emerge for the rest of the movie.

00:20:33.597 --> 00:20:36.205
Man, right, he tucked away.

00:20:36.205 --> 00:20:42.830
Because when you depend See, this is why we need the Lord, this is why we need him.

00:20:42.830 --> 00:21:10.931
Right, because when you depend on yourself to get a task done, when you get to that point where you are incapable, unable to produce anything in a season on your own accord, on your own strength, with your own power, you are going to have to, you're going to have to go back to who created you in order to, to figure out how do I navigate differently in the season.

00:21:10.931 --> 00:21:26.234
And we see that in end game, that he, he you know what I'm saying he had, he had to go back and talk with himself and and and reemerge in a different way, in a different form, in a different form In a different form and with a different understanding of power.

00:21:26.515 --> 00:21:35.613
Yes, now, power wasn't brute force, and I go and pummel through everything you know, and that really is difference between twenties and thirties.

00:21:35.613 --> 00:21:48.723
Yeah, and in our twenties I don't care how meek and mild you are, in our twenties we were like, hey, all right, this is the way life is going to go and you know, I'm going to do what I got to do to try to make something happen.

00:21:48.723 --> 00:22:05.094
Whether it's a little something or a lot of something, whether you were very driven or whether you were just kind of chill In your mind, you believe things worked a certain way and in your 30s, you learned Nah, it ain't really the way that I thought it was

00:22:05.214 --> 00:22:06.220
nope, but the whole.

00:22:06.220 --> 00:22:24.671
We're watching him in the transition and there are moments when it was, you know, I think that there's um, this has been my last point, but there's, there's something else to be said about when other people know who you are, but you don't believe in yourself anymore, you know.

00:22:24.671 --> 00:22:35.809
And so iron man, when, when they're all meeting up and they're getting ready to face thanos, minions, right, like iron man's, like it's gonna be good to work with you again, buddy, buddy, call him up, bring the big guy.

00:22:35.829 --> 00:22:49.410
You know he's excited because he's like we're gonna be all right because we got the hope yeah but when you refuse yeah, when you refuse to activate what's on the inside of you, you become a liability, yeah they have to keep protecting him.

00:22:49.410 --> 00:22:52.640
That's it, because bruce banner will get killed in this fight.

00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:53.142
That's it.

00:22:54.065 --> 00:22:58.499
That's good you gotta hook up, even when you don't believe in yourself anymore.

00:22:58.538 --> 00:23:00.482
You gotta fake it till you make it.

00:23:00.482 --> 00:23:03.669
So that's a part of leadership the question is what?

00:23:05.412 --> 00:23:13.461
what happened to where you don't, but where you don't, you don't realize what power you have anymore, like what happened, and I think.

00:23:13.461 --> 00:23:17.750
I think it's a question to ask, like what happened?

00:23:17.750 --> 00:23:22.906
Because it's not that you're, it's not that your power's gone, it's that you're afraid to use it.

00:23:22.906 --> 00:23:25.972
Um, so what happened?

00:23:25.972 --> 00:23:28.280
And I think it's just something to ponder on.

00:23:29.182 --> 00:23:31.066
That's something to ponder on, I think.

00:23:31.066 --> 00:23:40.969
And, ruth abby, what do you have an instance in your life where you were afraid to kind of be your full self?

00:23:41.108 --> 00:23:52.490
for sure, uh, yes, so my and I talk about this a lot because it's very, it's very impactful, like my leadership took a hit in 2021-22 and um, do some.

00:23:52.490 --> 00:24:09.729
You know we had some just some transitional pains, you know, with, with, with uh team members and uh I, I just felt like a complete failure and it took me about a year and some change to show up as the leader.

00:24:09.729 --> 00:24:18.133
I know I could be again, because I was afraid that the same thing would happen People would leave, not be healthy.

00:24:18.133 --> 00:24:30.758
Um, you know, I was afraid of a repeat situation and I think that's similar to what the Hulk was.

00:24:30.758 --> 00:24:33.144
He's afraid of being defeated again.

00:24:33.144 --> 00:24:35.089
He's afraid of being beat up again.

00:24:35.089 --> 00:24:39.323
It's like I don't want that and so I'm just going to.

00:24:40.305 --> 00:24:48.803
I made safer calls, I did, um, you know I wasn't taking, as you know I was, I just wasn't showing up in my full self.

00:24:48.803 --> 00:25:01.551
Um, and I was, I was just, I was, I was really leading through fear, and it wasn't until about a year uh, um, I really about six months ago that I was.

00:25:01.551 --> 00:25:05.019
I knew like the situation happened.

00:25:05.019 --> 00:25:20.565
I can't recall it right this second where that six months earlier I would have just I would have gone back and I'd have kind of been deflated for a while.

00:25:20.565 --> 00:25:21.667
But I wasn't.

00:25:22.695 --> 00:25:24.383
And I was like okay, cool.

00:25:24.383 --> 00:25:41.446
But you know, that's interesting because I think one of your superpowers is the ability to both identify healthy risks and help to navigate teams through it, and that's a way because that pushes people out of their comfort zones.

00:25:41.555 --> 00:25:45.205
Yeah, now that pushes organizations out of where they've been.

00:25:45.205 --> 00:25:48.759
Yeah, you know, I think something I really relate with the hope.

00:25:48.759 --> 00:25:57.537
If I, if you had at different points in my life, if you asked me who my favorite Avenger was, like it changes for a long time it was the hope.

00:25:57.537 --> 00:26:21.748
Yeah, right, because he was big and strong, you know, and I was like, hey, you know, and I think it was because something in me wanted to smash some stuff, but I couldn't cry exactly you know, but I couldn't like do it on the outside you know, and I was like man if I could just you know no, don't, don't try but, but I think even more so than that.

00:26:21.807 --> 00:26:29.817
What this movie showed me was that I absolutely was that person for a long time I was that person that everybody was like man.

00:26:29.817 --> 00:26:34.115
You know, there's just so much inside of you and I just can't wait to see all your potential.

00:26:34.115 --> 00:26:37.821
And you don't even know what's inside of you and blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:26:37.821 --> 00:26:38.784
And I was like the Hulk.

00:26:38.784 --> 00:26:41.670
No, I ain't coming out.

00:26:41.670 --> 00:26:45.801
Matter of fact, I'm running, I'm hiding.

00:26:45.801 --> 00:26:54.904
Every once in a while I'll let a gift peek through but, people's expectations made me so frightened.

00:26:55.346 --> 00:27:01.871
I was like they're going to see me fail and then all of their goodwill toward me will end.

00:27:01.871 --> 00:27:26.063
And it was really the fear of rejection that was keeping me, because I was like, the moment that people find out I'm not as good as they believe that I am, they'll leave, I'll be deserted and no one will want me and no one will essentially have space for me in their world, because they're going to find me to be useless.

00:27:26.063 --> 00:27:34.103
And so I could imagine the Hulk who is the smasher tries to smash, can't smash.

00:27:36.875 --> 00:27:39.942
Oh yeah, that came out wrong, it did.

00:27:40.964 --> 00:27:43.189
It did, it did.

00:27:43.189 --> 00:27:46.260
Joy is going to kill us.

00:27:46.260 --> 00:27:48.125
She's going to kill us.

00:27:48.125 --> 00:27:49.407
She's going to kill us.

00:27:49.756 --> 00:27:51.122
I genuinely didn't catch that.

00:27:51.775 --> 00:27:58.180
Anyways, you can't hit things and break them and you're moving on.

00:27:58.180 --> 00:27:59.423
There's other stones.

00:28:01.355 --> 00:28:15.991
So after we kind of see, you know the, the power stone that play ruth abigail, uh-huh, there's this there's a space stone, and I think this is actually a beautiful pivot into that right, because, yes, it is, and we're gonna make it, um, it's, uh.

00:28:15.991 --> 00:28:41.201
So because when you a lot of times like and I and I definitely did this I did this exact thing actually Because I was feeling powerless, I didn't, I was, my confidence was low in my leadership in this season, I would take up too much space trying to prove that I was a leader, my Lord, that I was a leader, my Lord.

00:28:41.201 --> 00:28:58.003
And the space tone was this idea of, like, you can be anywhere, everywhere, wherever you want to, right, you can travel through different dominions and galaxies and different planets and all this stuff and you could do it with ease, just boom, boom.

00:28:58.003 --> 00:28:59.740
And that was kind of how I was.

00:28:59.740 --> 00:29:10.461
I was kind of everywhere and I didn't need to be, but because I, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't understand where I needed to be and I wasn't stable in who.

00:29:10.480 --> 00:29:10.582
I was.

00:29:11.222 --> 00:29:15.490
I my presence became a hindrance for people.

00:29:15.490 --> 00:29:24.369
And um, I thought that I had to be around in order for things to function well.

00:29:24.976 --> 00:29:32.042
Let me tell you something as someone who has been on the other side of that, right in the midst of a leadership transition.

00:29:32.042 --> 00:29:41.474
You know I've had a leader who you know I'm like I, a leader, am here to assist.

00:29:41.474 --> 00:29:53.683
But when you also show up, you make us feel like you don't trust us to do what we've been doing Yep, like we've been doing very well.

00:29:53.683 --> 00:30:04.548
So when you show up and that's especially when that's not the norm and in your mind you have all of these thoughts that are like I'm going to be there to help.

00:30:04.548 --> 00:30:06.238
I want them to know that.

00:30:06.238 --> 00:30:07.599
You know I'm going to show up.

00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:16.123
You know you and I think, especially in our generation, we have overemphasized this you know I show up for my team.

00:30:16.496 --> 00:30:31.980
You know I walk alongside the team you know, know, because you don't want to be perceived as that person, like you don't want to be perceived as that aloof, power hungry, yeah every tower.

00:30:32.041 --> 00:30:35.048
Yeah, come down when I want it from the people.

00:30:35.068 --> 00:30:37.115
You know you want people to know.

00:30:37.115 --> 00:30:37.894
Hey, I'm with the people, right?

00:30:37.894 --> 00:30:38.635
You know I'm here with the people.

00:30:38.635 --> 00:30:38.855
I'm on the.

00:30:38.855 --> 00:30:39.336
Hey, I'm with the people.

00:30:39.336 --> 00:30:40.237
You know I'm here with the people.

00:30:40.237 --> 00:30:42.798
I'm on the ground yeah, I'm on the ground with you.

00:30:42.798 --> 00:30:45.820
You know I ain't afraid to get a little dirty.

00:30:45.820 --> 00:30:54.767
You know you really want to be that person and you don't realize what you do to your people's confidence.

00:30:55.307 --> 00:31:04.252
It's really insecurity that drives that, and I had to learn this the hard way.

00:31:04.252 --> 00:31:06.473
Like it's insecurity that drives that, and and and I and I had to.

00:31:06.473 --> 00:31:07.295
I had to learn this the hard way.

00:31:07.295 --> 00:31:14.007
Like it's insecurity that drives that, because the truth of the matter is you want to be on the ground but you don't.

00:31:14.007 --> 00:31:15.172
It doesn't help them for you to be on the ground.

00:31:15.172 --> 00:31:15.413
It helps.

00:31:15.413 --> 00:31:20.570
Somebody has to be watching appear, somebody has to be on the like.

00:31:20.570 --> 00:31:33.172
I hear the dance floor and the balcony analogy right, and so you know, when you're on the dance floor, you can see here, you can see as far as you can see, but you can't see everything.

00:31:33.634 --> 00:31:33.775
Yeah.

00:31:34.438 --> 00:31:40.498
And somebody has to be watching on the balcony to catch what you can't see on the dance floor.

00:31:40.498 --> 00:31:44.280
Yeah, and I think when leaders on the balcony to catch what you can't see on the dance floor.

00:31:44.280 --> 00:32:02.243
Yeah, and I think when leaders don't take your proper position as the leader you're supposed to be and you're doing what makes you feel important, but it's not helping, it is actually hindering your team from growing?

00:32:02.403 --> 00:32:04.556
Yes, and it's honestly hindering you from growing.

00:32:04.556 --> 00:32:16.246
It's hindering you from because you don't realize that by you taking up space and other people's work, there is an empty space left where you're supposed to be.

00:32:16.246 --> 00:32:17.067
That's it, right.

00:32:17.067 --> 00:32:25.423
And so all of the things, all of the forward direction we could have as an organization, all of the, you know you're supposed to be out there.

00:32:25.423 --> 00:32:49.238
I want my leader out there meeting and greeting with the, with the heavy hitters, so that you can be advocating and representing for us, so that, like, when I ask you and say, hey, we need more money, you can say I've been out here, you know getting getting to the money, I've been out here building influences, yeah, but instead you, over here with me, got a program like you know, like what you doing.

00:32:49.258 --> 00:33:03.040
That's right and so and so, and I think that there has to be a balance, which is why, again, I point to, because I've I've been in middle management for so long now you know the importance of middle managers.

00:33:03.040 --> 00:33:04.085
It's important, man.

00:33:04.085 --> 00:33:11.269
This is why you have middle managers who do that, who do the work, who oversee.

00:33:11.269 --> 00:33:12.917
They don't do the work of the groundwork.

00:33:12.917 --> 00:33:13.619
I just want to clarify.

00:33:13.640 --> 00:33:16.807
They're the chaperones Of the dance floor.

00:33:16.807 --> 00:33:18.358
I'm sorry, I'm just trying to get the.

00:33:18.700 --> 00:33:21.890
I'm not being You're not chaperones, I'm saying in the dance floor analogy.

00:33:21.910 --> 00:33:22.393
You know what I'm saying?

00:33:22.393 --> 00:33:22.835
You're the chaperones.

00:33:22.835 --> 00:33:25.104
No, nobody was on that, okay.

00:33:25.715 --> 00:33:29.121
No, no, no, no, that was an analogy that was in your head.

00:33:29.121 --> 00:33:35.101
Gee Y'all on chaperones.

00:33:35.101 --> 00:33:37.925
Okay, I'm just Okay, fine, all right, and make sure nothing bad happens.

00:33:37.925 --> 00:33:40.450
I mean, I understand they don't make the dance better.

00:33:41.451 --> 00:33:42.594
They could, they can.

00:33:42.673 --> 00:33:47.661
A good one can no that's a monitor and those are the type of middle managers you don't want.

00:33:47.661 --> 00:33:48.101
You don't want.

00:33:48.122 --> 00:33:56.515
I know the monitors, the helicopters, jaquita's not that I'm just making sure everything's going well here and that everybody's doing what they're supposed to do here.

00:33:56.515 --> 00:33:57.596
She Just to be clear.

00:33:57.596 --> 00:34:02.118
She's not that, nor do I think she's that, If Queta was here in Memphis.

00:34:02.118 --> 00:34:04.119
I would work with Queta.

00:34:04.119 --> 00:34:08.702
Anyway, go ahead, ruth Abigail, I would love for you to work for me.

00:34:09.143 --> 00:34:11.704
Okay, that would be a grand time.

00:34:11.704 --> 00:34:13.505
Wait, what that?

00:34:13.505 --> 00:34:18.789
It would just be a grand time Me telling you what to do, oh wow, this is a joy.

00:34:19.170 --> 00:34:22.431
I see that I really didn't even understand what you just said.

00:34:22.431 --> 00:34:22.952
Go ahead.

00:34:29.355 --> 00:34:38.822
But no, but you know, I think that there has to be you, as you're thinking as a leader, about how you're going to set up your leadership style, how you're going to set up your like an org chart or your team, or how you're going to navigate that.

00:34:38.822 --> 00:34:39.543
You have to.

00:34:39.543 --> 00:34:51.804
Even when I was supervising students, I identified, I told these students, I was like y'all are going to be leaders in respective areas and you're going to have teams associated with your area.

00:34:51.804 --> 00:35:02.588
So when I worked in campus life, I had somebody that was over the office, I had somebody that was over events, I had someone that was over the team, like I had people stationed.

00:35:02.588 --> 00:35:13.166
I had someone over marketing right, I had them stationed over different things and then when we came together as a team, they led us all in those initiatives under my guidance.

00:35:13.166 --> 00:35:13.994
That's right, right.

00:35:13.994 --> 00:35:22.090
And so you have to, as you, as a leader, are thinking about, you have to think about how is space situated within my team?

00:35:22.090 --> 00:35:24.380
How am I showing up?

00:35:24.380 --> 00:35:26.181
How do I want other people to show up?

00:35:26.181 --> 00:35:33.074
And you have to realize it is not your presence that dictates the nature of the organization.

00:35:33.295 --> 00:35:42.396
It is the ideals that you pass down through your leadership style that inspire other people to be leaders through your leadership style.

00:35:42.396 --> 00:35:43.539
That inspire other people to be leaders.

00:35:43.539 --> 00:35:47.748
That's the ultimate goal is not to shepherd people, as if they're not going to grow into shepherds themselves.

00:35:47.748 --> 00:35:51.463
It is to lead and develop others so that they can.

00:35:51.463 --> 00:35:58.128
I'm honestly, I'm trying to get people to take my spot one day and I like leaders who are grooming.

00:35:58.128 --> 00:36:00.215
I like, hey, what you doing over there.

00:36:00.215 --> 00:36:01.601
Let me learn how you do that right there.

00:36:01.601 --> 00:36:02.960
Can I sit with you right here?

00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:04.280
I want to shadow you.

00:36:04.280 --> 00:36:09.987
That's how you establish those type of situations where you can think about succession.

00:36:09.987 --> 00:36:12.331
Because I knew I wasn't going to be in campus life forever.

00:36:12.331 --> 00:36:12.755
I couldn't do it.

00:36:14.016 --> 00:36:17.579
I think I will say that and we can pivot to the next one after this, to the next one after this.

00:36:17.579 --> 00:36:30.070
But I do think this is important to realize that if you feel like your presence is necessary, then you might.

00:36:30.070 --> 00:36:31.632
Two things might be the case.

00:36:31.632 --> 00:36:47.461
You may not have done a complete job of creating a culture and a value system, everybody knows, or you may not have the right team.

00:36:47.461 --> 00:36:47.802
And so those are.

00:36:47.802 --> 00:36:57.983
Those are just two things to read to, to recognize if you're like what it you know, because I have felt, I have honestly felt both right, um, where it's like.

00:36:58.583 --> 00:37:02.931
If I feel like, for whatever reason, my presence, I have to be there.

00:37:02.931 --> 00:37:08.625
One of those two things is happening, um, and it's just, it's a checkpoint for you.

00:37:08.625 --> 00:37:09.356
Okay, is it?

00:37:09.356 --> 00:37:10.561
Is it is it?

00:37:10.561 --> 00:37:22.625
Is it a lack of culture, understanding of culture, or culture setting, or value setting and value, um, uh, uh, alignment, right, that they understand what the values and the cultures of the organization?

00:37:22.625 --> 00:37:26.101
Have I done my job in transferring that?

00:37:26.101 --> 00:37:29.989
Or do I not have the right people on my team?

00:37:29.989 --> 00:37:44.760
And that's a real, and you have to evaluate it and then kind of tackle whichever side of that equation you're on, because it shouldn't be that your presence dictates what's going on yeah that shouldn't.

00:37:44.981 --> 00:37:55.389
You shouldn't have to do that, but sometimes you feel like you do, and if you do, I would ask myself those two questions for sure, yeah, um, what's next?

00:37:55.389 --> 00:38:00.802
Reality, reality, reality, stone.

00:38:00.802 --> 00:38:04.688
This was really interesting to me it was it was I.

00:38:04.789 --> 00:38:17.509
I like that in the movie like they were fighting a fight that wasn't really there yeah, you know what I'm saying, like and they were like all right well you know, gabora was like all right, I gotta kill my daddy.

00:38:17.509 --> 00:38:18.956
All right, that's the only way.

00:38:18.956 --> 00:38:22.222
And then she told you know her boyfriend.

00:38:22.222 --> 00:38:24.105
Uh, oh, lord, what's his name?

00:38:24.105 --> 00:38:25.007
I forgot it too.

00:38:25.047 --> 00:38:29.199
Star lord, star lord that's his name, yeah, something different.

00:38:29.338 --> 00:38:35.538
Okay, no, it is something different, but that's his like you know how like spider-man says oh sorry, we're using made-up names.

00:38:35.557 --> 00:38:51.644
Yeah, yeah that's right, yeah, uh, I can't think of it right now, but his, his made-up name, yes, uh, is star lord, and you know she's like hey, you know, if anything goes down, I need you to kill me.

00:38:51.644 --> 00:38:52.347
Yep, right.

00:38:52.347 --> 00:38:56.541
And so they go out and their, their emotions are all tied in it.

00:38:56.541 --> 00:39:12.181
You know like she's crying, you know he, you know everybody is emotionally fraught at the scene, and then it disappears, yeah, and then you hear uh, you hear thanos in the background, like oh, so you do love me.

00:39:12.181 --> 00:39:13.887
Yeah, you do have tears for me, daughter.

00:39:13.887 --> 00:39:14.929

Avengers Infinity Wars: What Happens When Power and Leadership Collide

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