WEBVTT
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Yo, yo, yo, what's up, everybody?
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And welcome once again to the Unlearned Podcast.
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I'm your host with Abigail, a K-A-R-A.
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What up, friends?
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It's your girl, Jaquita.
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And this is the podcast, and it's something you gained the courage to change your mind so that you can experience more freedom.
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I don't know why, but that changed your mind here today.
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It hit today.
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Because let me tell you something.
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If you don't change your mind, the Lord will.
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Okay, listen, you can go willingly or you can go circumstantially.
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And I listen, you want to be ahead of the game.
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You want to get ahead of the game when it comes to this, to this change and what, Ruth Abigail?
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Transition.
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You want to get ahead of the game.
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Look at you.
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Look at you getting into it.
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That's good, Quita.
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That's good.
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I'm gonna even go.
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Let's go.
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Because you see, she's on fire, people.
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Like Quida's on fire.
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Um, hold on, but before, before, before, hold that fire because what we want to do is we want to tell you at the top that we appreciate you and we want you to like, share, subscribe.
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This podcast, we're always trying to grow the community.
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So if you are blessed by what you hear, don't keep it to yourselves, folks.
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You pass it along and let us know what you think.
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Drop us a comment.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Shoot us a message, you know what I'm saying?
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Like we be responding, you know.
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Like, come on.
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Listen, we actually really, really love talking with you guys.
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Um, you guys, one, y'all are so insightful.
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Some of the things that people write, um, and some of the ways, and I just want to emphasize what we do here is a labor of love.
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Okay, we do this because we love y'all, because we love uh the growth that God allows us to uh to gain through our consistent uh handing him back our lives and saying what is this mean?
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And you know, and so when people like stop me and tell me, man, I watched the episode, y'all were good, this really helped me, you know, that that really does give encouragement to continue going forward because we're really passionate about middle adult care.
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Man, that's really it's and it's necessary because we be it, you know, we we know, and you know, we be going through.
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We really be going through.
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It'd be a lot of stuff happening at one time, man.
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And you gotta manage it.
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It's a lot of stuff happening at one time, and it's like the generation before us, they left some tracks.
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They're like, you know, go this way, go that way, but they didn't tell you anything about what real experiences going through these different transitions are gonna be like.
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Like they left no real cues or clues for like what you're gonna feel emotionally going through this, or how you're gonna have to, you know, develop in different areas other than you know the obvious stuff you can see.
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And I really feel like we're at a time just in the world, in our personal development as middle adult, where it's not the seen things that we're having to pay attention to, it is the unseen.
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It is the unseen things, and there's so many reasons we could name them, but you guys know them.
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There's so many reasons why it's gonna be important to take care of yourself in these seasons.
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Oh, yeah, you're gonna need to do that, you're gonna need to do it.
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And I think the reason that we may not necessarily hear from people before us is because reality is transition happens all the time, like it is happening consistently.
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So even people who were in our season, you know, who would live this season, they're transitioning in their season now.
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So it's not it's hard to like stop and reflect when you you're constantly moving.
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Like there's just no stopping when it comes to transition.
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Something's always changing, and you have to be willing.
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And I think that's this is the beauty of how what we want to like really accentuate with how we how we communicate.
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It's like changing your mind.
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Like you have to you have to consistently unlearn things through each period of transition.
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Um, because you find things in each period where it's like this works, and then you move to the next season and it doesn't work anymore.
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And you've gotta you have to un undo that.
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You have to unlearn it, you know?
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Wait a minute, because that that is it right there.
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It is because and that is the that is the journey of middle adulthood.
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You get to a season where what used to work, it no longer serves you, it's no longer um effective, right?
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Because I think also, and this is what I was talking with um with someone that I mentor supervise today, and I was telling her about how as a middle adult you realize that there are some systems that you created out of brokenness.
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Yep.
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And you get to a point where the broken systems don't work anymore.
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You know, uh I recently uh uh elder at my church preached about how you know we have things in our house, houses that we rigged up, you know, because we may not have followed the directions to something, or maybe that table was a little wobbly, and so it got a book under there that can't nobody see.
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You know, we we have things rigged up in our lives.
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But as you middle adult, as you get to this stage where you're taking on more responsibility and you're carrying more and and you're accountable to more people and you have more impact and more influence.
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The table is only built to carry the weight when it's built properly.
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If you have a table, if you have a table that you done rigged up, and it was good in the last season because you only had two people sitting at that table.
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Now you have 10.
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You have 10 people sitting at the table.
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You got somebody trying to stand up on the table that you're trying to get to sit down.
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You have people all around surrounding you, and what you rigged up is starting to crumble.
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That's correct.
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And that is the season of transition that I think a lot of us as middle adults are finding ourselves in, is that we have tables and structures and personalities, ways of coping, ways of engagement, ways we have systems we have built that were uh that we built in a time of brokenness or in a time where we were just trying to make it in our in our teen years, in our 20s.
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You know, we said, this is how I engage with people, this is how I engage in relationships, this is how I build friendships, this is how I build uh my career, these are my ideas around what success is.
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This is what I think motherhood is gonna be like.
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This is what I think, and we build up these ideologies and these systems and these these uh rules of engagement that once you actually get into it, and when you get to the next level of your life, you realize I am I'm trying to put a I'm trying to put weight on a broken system and things are falling apart.
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So, so this is so you know, slightly funny story to that.
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I'm sitting at my keyboard the other day, and I was playing, I was was playing me and uh our son Tyson, and we um uh we were about to be done and he was saying goodnight, and he leaned over to give me a hug or a kiss or something like that, and that chair broke.
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I fell right on my behind.
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This chair had been halfway there for a while, to your point.
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And we kept sitting in it, and I used it, but it just took a little bit of pressure and I fell on my butt.
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I mean, boom.
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And it was just like, whoa, what happened?
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That junk is out in the in the yard now, it ain't it.
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We can't use it, and it's like you're right, and we should have been moved that chair, we should have been either fixed it or gotten rid of it, but we didn't.
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I just kept sitting in it.
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Listen, you know what I'm saying?
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Millennials, millennials, and middle adults in the chat right now, wherever you are.
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I want you to write.
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I everybody got something in their house that you should have been throughout.
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Yep, okay.
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We all got something you done had for 15 years.
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You bought it from IKEA when you graduated college, okay.
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And my book is good for this.
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You know what I mean?
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That's leaning to the side a little bit, okay.
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It's bad.
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And you you done propped it up in the corner in the wall so it can be supported.
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Listen, every all of us have something that it can no longer support the weight of where we are.
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No, and we're too old to be falling flat on the camera.
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You can't be falling.
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It's too old.
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You got too much.
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You don't have the bone structure.
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You want to talk about structure.
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You ain't got the bone structure.
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Can't do it.
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You don't have the muscle strength, okay, to be falling down on that ground.
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Nah, man, you don't need to be falling.
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We need to preserve these these bodies, you know.
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And so I I have been thinking about this honestly a lot.
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And I think we could probably do an entire different episode on this subject.
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So I'm not gonna go too deep into it, but um just a ways that grief.
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And you know, I've experienced grief on kind of a deeper level here recently with the passing of my dearly beloved grandfather.
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Um, but I feel like we get to these stages where you are transitioning out of one season of your life and moving into that next season of your life.
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There is a point of grief where you are having to literally grieve the things that you had to let go because they can't serve you in this season.
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Um, and one of the things that I'm currently having to navigate is the not necessarily the grief of the end of friendships and relationships, although some of them have come to a close, but the grief of the transition of how I'm situating myself in relationships because I'm looking at the personality that I've built inside of these systems.
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You know, this Jaquita's always loyal, Jaquita always shows up, Jaquita is uh never asked for anything.
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And I used to wear that like a badge of honor, like I'm a good friend.
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Yeah, you know, I I I used to consider myself to be a professional friend, you know, like hey, listen, I could make a living.
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If they if somebody was hiring for a good friend, you know, I'm like, sign me up, all right?
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Where the degree at?
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You know, where did I get my certification?
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Right?
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Because I I really pinned a lot of my identity on being able to show up for people.
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Um, but I've had to realize that some of that was created out of a out of a broken, out of a narrative of brokenness.
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And I'm having to review what what was the foundation that I was building, not what not the ways that people are showing up in these friendships, but what is the foundation that was informing the way that I was showing up?
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And that's what's what is having to be revisited.
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And it's tough.
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That is tough.
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And and it's and it's tough, but it's good inventory to take because as you get older and your life begins to shift.
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I think you said something to me like the other day where you were like, uh I I can't oh man, Quita.
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Dang it, hold on.
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What did you say?
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It was really good.
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Um I know what was.
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Yeah, yeah.
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It happens sometimes.
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All right, all right, chill out.
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Okay, all right.
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Um you uh you you but you were essentially like I know I'm I've I I need to move forward.
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Like I I can't continue to be stuck in in certain areas.
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And a lot of time, and and what this is one of those areas is like my life, I do not want to still continue to be wrestling with these things when other parts of my life move forward.
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Like I don't want to continue to be here.
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Yeah, and I think that's that's it's good inventory because uh your friends, you know, the people that you um uh that built have built tight relationships with, we say this all the time, y'all.
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Community is everything.
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You look, you and you have to your community is really a reflection of you.
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And so if you find yourself, you know, in a space where you are taking inventory and realizing maybe uh these relationships, my part in this is I have built it based on brokenness, like Queda was saying.
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I and I I showed up based on how I felt like I needed to show up in order to retain people and not not be as authentic or as um honest as I need to be in this relationship, then you you can set yourself up to be um uh to be in a position where you you can't you can't move forward and you end up uh dragging people that that you don't need to hold on to.
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So you your people become baggage and that's not healthy.
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And so you moving that into another space is is not something you want to do.
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Um and I think and I think the thing is like we kind of talk about it in terms of negative influences, you know.
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We kind of that's kind of one of those things it's like, yeah, the negative people in my life are the people that just you know are going a totally different direction, all this stuff.
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But I think the nuance here is that doesn't always have to be the case for you to have to let somebody go.
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Um or to let a relationship go, or let a relationship live in a different space.
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Let it transition, let it transition, let it be different.
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It's okay.
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Um, you know, uh all five of us, like you know, the there's five of us kind of that are still we have a crew from college, and we all live in different states at this point.
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No, that's not true.
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I'm tripping.
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One just moved.
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That's true.
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I finally after like 15 years, having dang, that's crazy.
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And then for a long time, I have we had it was two of us in Memphis.
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But we we have we have lived in different states at one point, and most of us live in different states.
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Um, we're always trying to figure out how we get together.
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And we used to be able to get together on a on a regular basis.
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We used to be able to have to have like every New Year's.
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Yeah, we used to have a hard card New Year's trip friends.
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Yep, and we did it.
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And we did it, and it was great, and we could all drive, it was no problem.
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We figure it out.
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But that was then, you know, that was then.
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It it feels impossible to get together now.
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Like we get together for big occasions, we make that happen, but just a get together just for get together's sake is like man, I don't know.
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Like, you know, some of us may be able to, a couple of us here and there, you know, but we've had to navigate and accept that our our the the the the rhythm of relationship is different simply because we've transitioned.
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And I think that something that could have been potentially unhealthy is if we allowed uh the guilt of that or the or the the um perceived comfort of that to uh make us not be be okay with accepting that transition, like forcing us, forcing ourselves to show up when we know we really don't need to show up.
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Right.
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Um or you know, anyway, so I think I think it that's it's just we've experienced that just with our our circle and it's has nothing to do with the people or the community.
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It's it's sometimes it's just time to do that.
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And and it don't have to have it don't have to be negative, but it needs to happen.
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It needs to happen.
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You gotta acknowledge where you are.
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You know, I I think one of the things that I realize when it comes to me and the sense of friendship is that you cannot build solid foundations on silence.
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And if there are areas of your life where you are not communicating and you are not expressing not just what you need, but really expressing how you're really experiencing things.
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Yeah, really expressing how things have really impacted you, you know, and I feel like I'm about to go in, I'm about to move into a season of deep expression, and I want to go ahead and apologize to everyone who may have to be a recipient of this because when you have been a person that has not spoken up for yourself and has not um and has not expressed like how things impact you, how things, how things move you to the left or the right, you know, and you and you feel like you have been, you know, you feel like you've been taking hits, but you you weren't really, you can't really call them hits because you didn't internalize them like that.
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You were just like, uh, you know, it happened, and you made excuses and you found all the reasons why, and you, you know, walked the other party through why it may have happened that way.
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Um now you need to sit, you have to sit with, you know how they say buried emotions don't die.
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Yeah.
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No.
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All that stuff that you brushed over, pretended like it wasn't there, pretended like it wasn't, it wasn't what it was, you now need to, you have to be accountable for that.
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That's correct.
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You have to be accountable for what's kind of in your reservoir.
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And when you open the lid, you can't go, they did this, they did that, yeah.
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This and this and this happened.
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Like you didn't express those things.
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And so, you know, I I've been at points in my life, in my in my life's journey where I have gotten to points where I have evaluated friendships and I have thought to myself, okay, what do I do with this friendship now?
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What do I do with this relationship now?
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I don't know how to move it forward.
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Um, and a lot of times, I think my response was creating distance and then allowing it to come back later and just be like, all right, we're cool now.
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You know, I just needed, you know, three months off apparently.
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But I think that there is, I think that there is some value in speaking up.
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And millennials and middle adults, let's talk about some reasons why we don't speak up.
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Okay, it's because you were told not to as a child.
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Okay.
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We were told, you know, not to speak, not to express, not to ask questions, right?
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A lot of us were given that narrative of children, children are meant to be seen, not heard.
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Right.
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And sometimes those those uh kind of rules of our youth are following us.
00:19:52.880 --> 00:19:53.200
Yeah.
00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:53.599
Right.
00:19:53.680 --> 00:20:06.480
And you internalize that maybe it is not safe for me to give opinions or to give thoughts or to give ideas or to require something of someone.
00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:17.039
Um, I know that that's something that like I've had to like wrestle with, like, you know, like, is it actually okay for me to say, hey, this is what I need?
00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:17.599
Yeah.
00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:24.079
Um, because a lot of times as a young person, it was like, hey, we all need something.
00:20:24.319 --> 00:20:27.039
So don't don't speak the needs.
00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:27.839
We all see them.
00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:28.880
You don't have to talk about them.
00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:29.519
Yeah.
00:20:29.759 --> 00:20:30.160
Yeah.
00:20:30.319 --> 00:20:30.640
Yeah.
00:20:30.799 --> 00:20:31.359
That's real.
00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:36.640
And I think as women, we get that like on uh, you know, that that's there's a duality there.
00:20:36.960 --> 00:20:42.160
Because that is something that women I think have have to grow into.
00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:55.920
Um even pretty I think a lot of women, even later in life, like where you you are willing to express what you need, um, be honest about how you feel, not just accept everything you get.
00:20:56.160 --> 00:21:05.119
But we we kind of like that's that's another narrative that's played out, like for women, is like we you just you take what you get and that should be enough.
00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:08.559
Um and that's that we have to unlearn that.
00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:18.960
That that's not obviously that's not true, but it is tough to come into that when it is what you not not just not what you've just heard, but what you see.
00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:25.039
And you you see people um behave and interact like that.
00:21:25.359 --> 00:21:33.920
And a lot of times we don't see the behind the scenes of what that behavior brings, you just see kind of the surface level of the way it looks, right?
00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:38.640
Um, you know, there let's see here.
00:21:39.599 --> 00:21:42.000
Oh, how diplomatic do I want to be?
00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:54.799
Um, so the I think there's a reality to we all know people, whether it's in our families or our other people's families who have been married, right?
00:21:55.279 --> 00:21:58.319
For 50 years, 60 years.
00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:02.559
And We celebrate it.
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:06.640
And I'm not saying that shouldn't be celebrated because it takes a lot to be with somebody for that long.