May 12, 2025

Millennials In Crisis Pt. 2: What Do I do If I'm In A Storm Right Now?

Millennials In Crisis Pt. 2: What Do I do If I'm In A Storm Right Now?

Send us a text The second part of our storm series focuses on what to do during moments of crisis, offering practical guidance for navigating through life's most challenging seasons. We share wisdom on how to maintain your sense of self and purpose when everything around you seems to be falling apart. • Stop pretending about your situation and be honest about where you are • Give yourself time and realize transformation is not a microwave process • Embrace the Stockdale Principle - believe y...

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Send us a text

The second part of our storm series focuses on what to do during moments of crisis, offering practical guidance for navigating through life's most challenging seasons. We share wisdom on how to maintain your sense of self and purpose when everything around you seems to be falling apart.

• Stop pretending about your situation and be honest about where you are
• Give yourself time and realize transformation is not a microwave process
• Embrace the Stockdale Principle - believe you'll win while facing current reality
• Avoid victim mentality as it kills creativity and blocks your progress
• Submit to the process of change and the transformation it brings
• Focus on serving others even in your struggle to gain perspective
• Understand that purpose is always tied to impact, not just personal growth

Like, share, and subscribe to join our community! Hit the notification bell so you can be part of the movement and receive updates when we drop new episodes. Let's keep unlearning together so we can experience more freedom.


00:00 - Welcome to Unlearned Podcast

03:10 - From Before to During the Storm

09:52 - Stop Pretending About Your Situation

17:47 - Give Yourself Time to Process

27:35 - The Stockdale Principle of Crisis

35:39 - Escaping the Victim Mindset

48:37 - Submit to the Process of Change

WEBVTT

00:00:04.887 --> 00:00:08.413
hello everybody and welcome once again to the unlearned podcast.

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I'm your host, ruth abigail aka ra what's up, friends?

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It's your girl, jaquita and this is the podcast that is helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that you yes, you can experience more freedom all right now all right, hello, listen, we are out here rocking and rolling.

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Yeah, we are in these podcast streets.

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Okay Me and Ruth have had a great week really just enjoying all of the things, enjoying the studio.

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This has been great.

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Listen we out here.

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This is just so has been so much fun to be able to give a different experience, you know, and, and and to look beep into my best friend's eyes and and realize we, we are one, we are connected.

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We are unified.

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We are unified, we're in this together.

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We are Wait before I even forget cause.

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She said together and I thought about you and I thought about how you need to join this community.

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Okay, Become part of the movement.

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Okay, Like this podcast, share it, subscribe, become part of this family.

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Ok, because we are unlearning together.

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Ok so like, share and subscribe.

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Want to remind you all hit the notification bell Right so that you can receive notifications of when we drop in that next episode.

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OK, so you can be a part of this thing.

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So Queda what are we talking about today?

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Listen, all right.

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If you joined us for the last segment, okay, we discussed about what to do to prepare for the storm.

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If you have not watched that episode yet, make sure you go hit that you want to go do that Because we gave you an emergency toolkit, okay, with all of the things that you need to be in place before the storm.

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Okay.

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So today we're going to move from the before to the during.

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Okay, we need to talk about what do I do if I am now in a place where I am in a crisis moment, where something has shifted, something has pivoted, something has knocked me.

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You know what I heard somebody say one time with the old folks say you know, my cheese is sliding off my cracker.

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All right, your cheese.

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The first time I heard that I was like huh if you cheat right off that crib my baby.

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Oh wait, a little uneasy.

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Wow On the edge.

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You know we really want to talk about that today.

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I really don't know where to go from there, that is.

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I've never heard that before.

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You've never heard that before.

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Maybe it's a Greenville upstate thing, because I've definitely heard that my cheese is starting to slide off my cracker right.

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So, listen, but if you're in that moment and you know that you are in the, you know, because before we talked about what to do, how to anticipate the shift or the storm coming right, now we want to discuss yeah, what do you do once you're in the moment right, and you feel things shifting and changing and you're in the middle of it, all right.

00:03:09.330 --> 00:03:11.747
So, ruth Abigail, what's one of your first points?

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What do we need to do?

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So one of the things that we have to, I would say, one of the things we have to unlearn when we're in this moment is to not pretend about where you really are.

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My Lord Right.

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We got to unlearn that pretending is the way to go.

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We you can't uh sanitize your situation my lord okay, and so you want to recognize, you want to admit where you are, like it is okay, you have to be real about it.

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You, you don't want to try to color it up, and, especially for those of us who are people of faith, we like to use this Jesus language to color stuff up.

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Right, you know everything's going to be all right, the Lord.

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You know the Lord is my, you know I can do all things.

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Right, all of that is true and it's OK to admit it's tough right now and I need to say that out loud, without trying to quickly, trying to say but, but God, but God, but God.

00:04:14.681 --> 00:04:24.524
I mean, I mean like it's OK, because I think that God there's plenty of moments in Scripture you can point to where God is with people in storms yeah, and he doesn't.

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He doesn doesn't, he doesn't try, he doesn't.

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He's not expecting you to pretend like there isn't a storm there.

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Yeah, right, but there is one.

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So I think the first thing is stop pretending.

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Yeah.

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Be real about where you are.

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God is not.

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God is not thrown off by your storm.

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You know I okay.

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I have two examples and one.

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I have to give this because it's in my head.

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For those of you who saw, why did I get married?

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And it was when Janet Jackson's character, Patty, right and I think her name was Patricia, but she went by Patty sometimes and she was like perfect Patty.

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well, guess what?

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Perfect Patty messed up, right, but she had been living so long pretending like she wasn't in a storm.

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Yes, you know, she was pretending like she didn't feel all the things about her son passing away and pretending that her husband wasn't grieving.

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And pretending she had carried that pretend life so long that, when she finally got to her breaking point, y'all saw she had that little tendril.

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We were reminded that she Michael Jackson's sister, so she had that little tendril hanging in front of her face, you know.

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And so I think that it's so important that you are acknowledging like that this moment that I am is bigger than what I can handle right now.

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That's right.

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And you have to also remind yourself.

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I remember and I've said this in a previous episode that I knew I was in a big shift in my life and it wasn't necessarily a crisis moment, but it was a moment that was bigger than me.

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And I remember I was standing and I was getting some work done on my house to prepare for the big moment.

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And I remember I was in the Lowe's because I was buying like deck wood and all this stuff.

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I was in the mall in the lows and I told the Lord.

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I said, lord, I'm nervous.

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And the Lord said those are your feelings, they're not mine.

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And basically what he was saying was you're nervous about this moment, but I've already seen you through it, yeah, you know.

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And so I had to admit to myself yeah, that like, hey, this, this is kind of knocking me off my cracker a little bit.

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Right, this is knocking me off.

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This moment is huge and I'm not quite sure what all to do with it yet.

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But I also had to remind myself in that moment when I recognized where I was and was honest about where I was.

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That's when you can receive assurance.

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You can't be assured of nothing, of something you won't admit, that you won't admit Exactly.

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Yeah, people trying to comfort you and you're like I ain't got nothing.

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I'm good, I'm good Baby, yes, you do, yes, you do.

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Be up front and be real about it.

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Be real about it.

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Be real about it.

00:07:02.764 --> 00:07:02.946
Yeah, okay.

00:07:02.946 --> 00:07:03.206
So what else?

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Up front and be real about it, be real about it.

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Be real about it.

00:07:04.834 --> 00:07:05.055
Yeah, okay.

00:07:05.055 --> 00:07:05.579
So what else?

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Okay, listen, all right.

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And I think this is important because, as millennials, I think we've seen a lot.

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You know, middle adults, listen, the people, millennials, we have seen it all at this point.

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You know we had the young millennials out here doing the cinnamon challenge.

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Y, the cinnamon challenge.

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Y'all remember that.

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Y'all was out here.

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Y'all was out here eating cinnamon.

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Remember that, burning your tongues up and such right.

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We had a water bucket challenge.

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Yeah, one chip.

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You know, I just feel like we've we've seen so many extremes.

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We've also seen so many extremes in society.

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You know we've been through um depressions, recessions whatever you want to call it, we haven't been through depressions.

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We have been through a couple recessions.

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Whatever you want to call it, we haven't been through depressions.

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We have been through a couple of recessions.

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Y'all tell me, okay, y'all tell me, okay, y'all tell me.

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But yeah, you know, we've been.

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We've seen our country, our world, go through so many different changes that a lot of times, our advice to each other is okay, this is how you get out of this moment.

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All right, you just got an X, y and Z and then push through it and you're going to be all right.

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And we, we encourage and encourage and push and push, when really, what I love about the younger generation, like the generations up under us, is that they take their moments, yeah, right, and they realize sometimes too much.

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So it's going to take time.

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Yeah, it is going to take time.

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Your process is is not, uh, it's not going to be immediate, because what's being worked out is not the situation.

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What's being worked out is what's inside of you that is necessary to endure the next season.

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Correct, the crisis is not about the moment.

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The crisis is about the mission.

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Yeah, and when we make it about the moment and not about what inside of us needs to be perfected in order to get to the next stage, we will try to rush through it.

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Yeah, and I'm just going to be honest.

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You know there have been a couple of times in my life when I knew it was time for a new job.

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Right, I'm not a person, and I don't think most millennials are like we changed the game for my parents because I ain't standing on this job for 50 years you know my granddaddy retired from s-c-e-n-g, if you know.

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You know my metro people, right, he retired from s-c-e-n-g and he gave them people like 40, 45 years.

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Wow, you know they got the watch.

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You know they got the plaques with their names on it.

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We're not aiming for that, no more.

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Good, you know, we can make our own plaques with their names on it.

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We're not aiming for that no more.

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No, I'm good, we can make our own plaques on camera.

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What you talking about?

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What you talking about.

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I'll make my own certificate.

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There you go.

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Good job, jaquita.

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Yes, sir, you are appreciated, but what you're doing in your life is going to take a moment.

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It's going to take a process for you to be able to get from the point that you're at to the point that you're getting to, and there you don't know everything you need to know yet you haven't met all the people you need to meet, yet you have.

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You don't have all the skills you need to have yet you don't have all the resources that you need.

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Yet it is gone.

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We are not going to be able to microwave ourselves through a crisis.

00:10:03.927 --> 00:10:05.311
That's good, now, that's really good.

00:10:05.311 --> 00:10:15.860
You're gonna have to let it cook, yeah, right, and you're gonna have to if you want, if you want the best result from it, sorry, if you want the best result from it, right?

00:10:15.860 --> 00:10:24.100
Yeah, microwave food is never going to be as good as food that is prepared, food that is prepped and prepared and cooked and served.

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Yes, that's what's happening in your life, right?

00:10:26.298 --> 00:10:35.534
now, yeah, and I think that one thing that's hard to unlearn about time is that it's out of our control.

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Time is not something you control.

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You don't have that and you can't dictate how long something's going to be, and so that's why it's so important, like we were saying at the last episode, that, to be prepared with some things, because you're you might have to go the long haul with this.

00:10:55.505 --> 00:10:59.033
You may it may not be on your on the timetable.

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You, you would prefer.

00:11:01.202 --> 00:11:04.668
Yeah right um, we, we have our own timetables.

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We know it's like, hey, okay, this is going on, and then you know, and at this time, I expect this to be over, right, and or I believe, and we, again, we, we put I think we use faith in a irresponsible way A lot of times, right, right, Like, I believe this, therefore, and that's not always the case, and so I think I think we just have to be honest about that and know and trust that God's timing is the best timing, even when it's and particularly when it's not your timing.

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You just don't know because, like you said, you don't know what the future brings.

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You don't know how long you're going to need to marinate in certain things, and so we need to be aware that time is not in our control, and so, even in the middle of a crisis, when you are I'm struggling, it is and it is difficult, but it's but also know that it's not going to make it better.

00:12:00.562 --> 00:12:04.288
By rushing your, rushing the process, you won't't make it better.

00:12:04.288 --> 00:12:11.110
So you just have to lean in and lean into the best of your ability, understanding that time continues to move.

00:12:11.110 --> 00:12:12.500
It continues to progress.

00:12:12.500 --> 00:12:24.309
Um, one of the things that I like remembering about time it helps me is that, no matter what today won't won't, you won't ever experience today again, never.

00:12:24.309 --> 00:12:28.936
And so a lot of times on your worst days, that's helpful to know.

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I won't ever be here again.

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I don't know where I'll be tomorrow, but I know this ain't going to happen again because tomorrow's always different.

00:12:35.264 --> 00:12:41.505
That's good, right, and so, even if it means you're different, like you said so I think that there's that's that time thing is so important.

00:12:41.505 --> 00:12:42.100
You don't control it.

00:12:42.461 --> 00:13:03.889
You know, and I think, just one more point about time is that what, what giving it time allows it to do, it allows you to reset and reframe what you're hoping for and what your vision is, so that what you, what you envision for your life, matches what God has already planned for your life.

00:13:03.889 --> 00:13:11.812
At least, that's what it's been for me, and that's not something I did willingly, which is sometimes the point of the crisis.

00:13:11.812 --> 00:13:23.056
That was something that I had to come into the realization of is that a lot of times, our crisis moment is to shift and turn us to go a different way.

00:13:23.157 --> 00:13:30.532
Correct, you get what I'm saying and so I think, a lot of times when we're in that moment, you spend so much time I'm about to talk about a dream I had.

00:13:30.532 --> 00:13:39.514
You spend so much time trying to go the way that you had planned to go and you're fighting, you're kicking against the prick for my Bible readers, right?

00:13:39.514 --> 00:13:49.634
You're trying, you're still trying to live the life that you had before, when the Lord is simply trying to turn you and say but actually, what I had for you is greater than that.

00:13:49.634 --> 00:13:57.509
But you have to be able to house the vision, and so your crisis moment again feels like.

00:13:57.509 --> 00:13:59.312
It feels like a moment of conflict.

00:13:59.312 --> 00:14:13.804
It feels like it's deflating something in you, but that's that's most of the time, because there's something better that God is trying to get you to, and you have to allow him to show you the areas that he's trying to grow your capacity in.

00:14:13.804 --> 00:14:15.528
And that's what takes time.

00:14:15.528 --> 00:14:17.501
It takes time to change your mind.

00:14:17.903 --> 00:14:18.244
Man.

00:14:18.244 --> 00:14:21.274
It takes sometimes years to change your mind.

00:14:21.274 --> 00:14:29.982
Like that's real Cause we're stubborn and we like the things we like when we like them and the way we like them and we're used to certain things and we've got comfortable in certain ways.

00:14:30.303 --> 00:14:36.626
So, yes, it takes time, and I love that you said that, because changing your mind is the is the game changer.

00:14:36.626 --> 00:14:37.769
That's what then?

00:14:37.769 --> 00:14:39.139
That's when things begin to change.

00:14:39.139 --> 00:14:45.573
Yeah, right, um, so the next thing, uh, uh, that that is important.

00:14:45.573 --> 00:14:57.751
Um, I think we think, when, when there's a crisis and it's we have been we kind of been saying about, you know, recognizing, being honest about where you are and giving yourself time.

00:14:57.751 --> 00:15:01.729
There is an element, though, of of healthy faith.

00:15:01.729 --> 00:15:09.041
Right, you got to continue to honestly believe that you will win in the end.

00:15:09.041 --> 00:15:14.263
You just don't necessarily dictate that end, yeah right, but I I believe that this will be better.

00:15:14.482 --> 00:15:20.703
I just can't say win all the time yeah and I think, um, that's that is an important thing to to unlearn.

00:15:20.703 --> 00:15:36.028
You can be confident in your victory at the end and also admit I don't know when that's going to be those truths can happen at the same time, and so there's a book called Good to Great by Jim Collins.

00:15:36.028 --> 00:15:37.304
I do have it, do you?

00:15:38.201 --> 00:15:38.884
You told me to get it.

00:15:38.884 --> 00:15:40.745
I did.

00:15:40.745 --> 00:15:42.741
Did you read it Some of it?

00:15:42.802 --> 00:15:47.063
Okay, listen, right now I'm only halfway, but I did get through this chapter.

00:15:47.063 --> 00:15:50.832
Um, it's a book.

00:15:50.832 --> 00:15:57.433
It's a book about companies, yeah right, but this is a particular principle that I think um is.

00:15:57.433 --> 00:15:59.458
It can easily be applied to personal.

00:15:59.458 --> 00:16:04.129
He calls it the stockholm, the stockholm syndrome.

00:16:04.129 --> 00:16:09.583
Is it syndrome principle principle yeah, yeah, yeah stock, oh, stockdale.

00:16:09.583 --> 00:16:13.961
No, I'm wrong, it's stockdale, my fault.

00:16:13.961 --> 00:16:15.990
Stockholm principle is a thing that is not what I'm talking about.

00:16:15.990 --> 00:16:18.519
Okay, stockdale principle yes okay.

00:16:18.940 --> 00:16:24.331
And so um Stockdale, he was, uh, in the army, he was a prisoner of war.

00:16:24.331 --> 00:16:41.581
He was in a camp for eight years and when he got out, so Jim Collins, the author, he interviewed him and one of the things that he said was who were the ones that didn't make it out?

00:16:41.581 --> 00:16:47.163
And his answer was Stockdale's answer was the optimists.

00:16:47.163 --> 00:16:49.245
He said the optimists didn't make it out.

00:16:49.245 --> 00:16:50.186
And that really surprised Jim Collins.

00:16:50.186 --> 00:16:50.846
He said that's interesting.

00:16:50.846 --> 00:16:51.866
Why wouldn't an optimist make it out?

00:16:51.866 --> 00:16:53.368
He said because they were always the collins, as he was.

00:16:53.368 --> 00:16:54.469
He said that's interesting.

00:16:54.469 --> 00:16:55.735
Why wouldn't an optimist make it out?

00:16:55.817 --> 00:17:13.161
he said because they were always the ones that said we're going to be out by christmas wow and we never were oh so now your hope it just keeps getting shattered and shattered and shattered because you keep telling yourself something you can't guarantee all right.

00:17:13.161 --> 00:17:22.819
And so he said I, the reason he credits the reason is because I believed I would be out, but I was honest that I don't know when.

00:17:22.819 --> 00:17:26.416
Yeah, but, I, kept believing that I'm gonna be out, but that's gonna be.

00:17:26.457 --> 00:17:29.134
So you know I'm saying, but the ones, who, who, who, like.

00:17:29.153 --> 00:17:30.778
We're gonna be out for Christmas, y'all, it's gonna be okay.

00:17:30.778 --> 00:17:32.335
We're gonna be out by New Year's, it's gonna be okay.

00:17:32.335 --> 00:17:39.101
We're gonna be out by Easter, it's gonna be okay, and it wasn't okay and they crumbled but so many times you know.

00:17:39.551 --> 00:17:56.939
This reminds me of right how, every year, when you know, before you were married, you know every year, every year, ruth Abigail would tell us 2019 guys, this is our year right, and then we would get to the end of it and we'd be like disappointing again.

00:17:56.939 --> 00:18:10.641
I ain't gonna lie Right, disappointing and and I think what that causes you to do one, when you are focused more on more on the um deliverance out of a thing versus the deliverance out of a mindset.

00:18:10.821 --> 00:18:13.895
Yes, I think you have to set your mind on.

00:18:14.297 --> 00:18:17.282
The goal is not to get to the next place.

00:18:17.282 --> 00:18:19.518
The goal is to be whole, 100% Right.

00:18:19.518 --> 00:18:24.016
And I think that a lot of times we are pouring from cups that have holes in it.

00:18:24.016 --> 00:18:27.480
But because you're pouring, you think you're okay, yeah, right.

00:18:27.480 --> 00:18:36.671
And because God has allowed you to see the evidence of your poor, you believe that.

00:18:36.671 --> 00:18:38.535
Oh, the evidence, the production of my work makes me okay.

00:18:38.535 --> 00:18:47.461
But God is looking and saying there's some things that if I can get them to a moment to themselves, I can really begin to work on Right, and I know.

00:18:47.461 --> 00:18:57.137
For me, what's funny is is that that Stockdale paradox was actually one of the things that I had to, I had to, I had to work on because, I'm an optimist.

00:18:57.590 --> 00:18:58.374
Y'all know that.

00:18:58.374 --> 00:19:00.355
All right, I believe.

00:19:00.355 --> 00:19:05.820
All right I got the faith that a thing is going to work out in the way that I envisioned it.

00:19:05.820 --> 00:19:06.442
There you go, right.

00:19:06.631 --> 00:19:13.919
And I tell people like you know, to be an optimist sometimes is to uh, is to live a life of disappointment.

00:19:13.919 --> 00:19:17.443
Yeah, I see that, I say I.

00:19:17.443 --> 00:19:28.638
But if you continue down that path, you begin to expect disappointment instead of expecting change.

00:19:28.638 --> 00:19:29.080
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

00:19:29.080 --> 00:19:34.880
And so, instead of embracing change, you start embracing disappointment, and that changes the way that you approach life.

00:19:34.880 --> 00:20:05.061
Yeah, when I expect, when I have hope, but I'm like this may not work out, so I'm just going to prepare for things to not work out Right, instead of preparing for what if it actually does work, exactly Right, like what if in the crisis, in the moment of crisis, because that's what happens a lot of times, especially as middle adults friends Hello, my 30s and 40s, ok, especially us A lot of times, what gets us stuck in a moment is when you feel like you've gotten to a point where things don't work anymore.

00:20:05.122 --> 00:20:05.383
Right.

00:20:06.144 --> 00:20:12.522
Right, things like what you did before is not sustaining you anymore.

00:20:12.522 --> 00:20:19.022
Right, what you did before doesn't work in the season that you shifted into or in the moment that you're trying to get into.

00:20:19.022 --> 00:20:26.799
Some of us, some of the crisis, is happening at the end of a thing and some of our crises are happening at the beginning of a thing.

00:20:26.859 --> 00:20:27.321
Yeah Right.

00:20:27.321 --> 00:20:31.541
And you're trying to apply old principles to a new situation, yeah Right.

00:20:31.541 --> 00:20:41.923
And so I think that one thing that we can be really aware of is that when we are in those moments, you have to surrender not just to the process.

00:20:41.923 --> 00:20:45.420
You have to surrender to being made new, and that's a.

00:20:45.420 --> 00:20:46.905
You know, I tell people.

00:20:46.905 --> 00:20:55.594
I used to think that this whole being made new thing I thought it was going to be a one-time thing, you know.

00:20:55.594 --> 00:20:56.809
Know, like I thought, hey, you know I'm old and I'm new.

00:20:56.809 --> 00:20:57.866
It's kind of like when you get saved, you're like I'm saved now.

00:20:57.866 --> 00:21:00.526
You know, I wish you were still talking about sin.

00:21:00.547 --> 00:21:03.769
For why y'all still talking about that?

00:21:03.769 --> 00:21:05.950
I moved?

00:21:06.109 --> 00:21:07.931
out my old house and moved to my new house.

00:21:07.951 --> 00:21:08.834
You know like yeah.

00:21:08.855 --> 00:21:16.711
I got a whole new way of life but, baby, that old man is still fighting you, and so you know.

00:21:16.711 --> 00:21:18.415
But again, the Stockdale principle.

00:21:18.415 --> 00:21:21.021
That was something that I had to unlearn yes.

00:21:21.021 --> 00:21:31.953
I had to unlearn this idea of of putting, of putting my vision on things yeah, and asking God to do what I envisioned yeah right.

00:21:32.074 --> 00:21:37.880
But when you have a winning mindset, you say I don't know how, I don't sorry, I was going to sing.

00:21:37.880 --> 00:21:40.635
But then Ruth Abigail is looking at me and y'all know how she do Listen.

00:21:40.635 --> 00:21:43.423
I was, I was going to let you, but anyways, the song goes.

00:21:43.423 --> 00:21:46.073
I don't know how, I don't know when.

00:21:46.073 --> 00:21:47.275
Okay, victory.

00:21:53.652 --> 00:22:05.237
I will say that I and we talk about this all the time I have an opposite issue in that I struggle to say that I'm going to win if I don't see it.

00:22:05.237 --> 00:22:09.357
So I lean in the opposite direction.

00:22:09.357 --> 00:22:18.753
Right, I'm not a pessimist, but I would say that I'm just more of a realist, I guess, but a realist leaning towards pessimism in her worst days, right, and so I don't.

00:22:18.753 --> 00:22:23.384
I really I it's like OK, and I've had to learn.

00:22:23.384 --> 00:22:30.344
I mean, I really have had to learn how to speak things that are going to be without me knowing how it's going to be.

00:22:30.344 --> 00:22:36.338
Yeah, because that's my thing is like, if I can see it, yeah, I'm good.

00:22:36.338 --> 00:22:36.780
I said it all day.

00:22:36.780 --> 00:22:38.147
Right, we just finished a pretty big project at angel street.

00:22:38.147 --> 00:22:39.694
I knew it was gonna happen because I could see the path.

00:22:39.694 --> 00:22:40.598
Yeah, I wasn't.

00:22:40.799 --> 00:22:42.125
I was like we got this.

00:22:42.125 --> 00:22:43.130
Other people didn't believe it.

00:22:43.130 --> 00:22:45.193
I believe it, we got it right.

00:22:45.193 --> 00:23:05.096
But when I don't see it, it's hard for me to say that we're gonna win, that I'm gonna win, and so I think that both of those we you know, we have to unlearn that because it is a marriage of both and I think that's what this paradox um is really teaching is you.

00:23:05.238 --> 00:23:06.118
You have to do both.

00:23:06.118 --> 00:23:16.098
You have to believe with everything in you that you're going to win and admit that the situation does not look like it right now my lord right, that's good, that's, that's.

00:23:16.138 --> 00:23:18.301
That's where that is so yeah, love it.

00:23:18.701 --> 00:23:21.286
So um, what's next, guido?

00:23:21.286 --> 00:23:21.892
What's the next thing?

00:23:22.173 --> 00:23:24.220
listen, okay, I want to talk to my friends.

00:23:24.220 --> 00:23:26.228
Okay, because I've been where you are.

00:23:26.228 --> 00:23:39.500
Okay, and you go, you get to these tough moments and the first thing you start doing is identifying everyone who put you there right, everyone who made you feel like a victim.

00:23:39.500 --> 00:23:56.041
You know, I understand, yeah, you know, and we get stuck in these victim mindsets because we begin thinking about, well, if they hadn't done this and if they hadn't done that, and if such and such and such and such hadn't did this, this and that, then I wouldn't be where I am.

00:23:56.230 --> 00:24:06.965
And you can get stuck being so hyper focused on what other people have or have not done that you miss the moment that God is trying to carry you to.

00:24:06.965 --> 00:24:09.376
Yes, and I promise you we're not going to.

00:24:09.376 --> 00:24:15.603
We can't name no name, sure, but I and in recent situations that I've been, I mean my friends can tell you.

00:24:15.603 --> 00:24:49.871
Ruth Abigail can tell you like I was hyper fixated on this person or on these people, like they are doing this, this and this to me and it is affecting the way that I interact and engage with this moment that I'm in Right, right, and when you get stuck in that victim mindset that takes away everything that you're trying to build out of this, out of this moment of conflict or out of this crisis moment, right, because you become fixated on on what they're, on, on being preyed upon.

00:24:49.871 --> 00:24:54.381
Instead of I'm sorry, I was going to try to do a pray, a pray and pray.

00:24:54.461 --> 00:25:05.724
Yeah, I was like mine, get it get it, make this parallel, make this connection Right, but you, you get fixated on what they're doing to you instead of what God is doing in you, right?

00:25:05.724 --> 00:25:16.936
And so that victim mindset, it is not just about you feeling like you can't win, it is about you feeling like someone has done something yeah and maybe they that's real.

00:25:16.936 --> 00:25:18.643
Yeah, I'm not trying to take that away.

00:25:18.663 --> 00:25:49.770
That's good, you know yeah maybe people have done things that have been really detrimental and hurtful for you absolutely, but you will not get out of your crisis moment if if you're only fixated on what they need to change and you're, you're not going to, it's not going to while you're in your crisis moment, you can't, you're, it's, it's just gonna keep put putting putting you down right and pushing you down and keeping you down and like that is just, you don't want that right, like I think I.

00:25:49.770 --> 00:25:58.585
I love what you said as far as sometimes it's a person, sometimes it's people, society people will put it on society, people will put it on the economy.

00:25:58.585 --> 00:26:00.075
This is really interesting.

00:26:00.075 --> 00:26:12.258
You know, michelle Obama has a podcast right in my opinion which I've been enjoying, and they did a live show where they had somebody come up and ask a question and it was a young man, he was 28.

00:26:13.210 --> 00:26:39.296
And he had this whole prepared question but part of it was him saying you know how I'm paraphrasing okay, but like how do how do we, talking about our generation, kind of move forward in a way when the world that we were promised is not, uh, it's not, is not on the horizon, right, and talking about the economy and not being able to buy a house and things like this?

00:26:39.296 --> 00:26:44.016
And you can tell that he was very distraught by that and he was.

00:26:44.016 --> 00:26:47.351
It was a genuine question, um, and I think at the time they were.

00:26:47.351 --> 00:26:54.061
They were also interviewing a psychologist who taught a class on mental health, right.

00:26:54.061 --> 00:26:55.203
So, anyway, college course.

00:26:56.811 --> 00:27:09.540
When I heard that, it was really interesting because I'm sitting here and he's not this, you know, a lot of people in in, in our generation and maybe a little younger, feel like I've been gypped by society.

00:27:09.540 --> 00:27:13.352
Right, talk about it.

00:27:13.352 --> 00:27:16.436
Yeah, my thing is two things.

00:27:16.436 --> 00:27:23.849
I think you have to ask yourself who promised you anything just because you are here.

00:27:23.849 --> 00:27:29.336
Yeah, I mean, let's just be real about it, like that's a mindset we gotta kill, right yeah you aren't promised.

00:27:29.557 --> 00:27:31.962
Just because you're here doesn't mean you get something.

00:27:31.962 --> 00:27:33.086
Yeah, right it that.

00:27:33.086 --> 00:27:33.406
That is.

00:27:33.406 --> 00:27:36.078
That is the entitlement culture we gotta unlearn.

00:27:36.078 --> 00:27:47.621
And also, though, I think that this feeling like I am, I can't do, I can't do anything until something changes out there.

00:27:47.902 --> 00:27:50.688
Yeah, right again, that is something we have to unlearn.

00:27:50.688 --> 00:27:55.467
You can like, yeah, you like being, being, you know this.

00:27:55.467 --> 00:28:06.675
This young man was 28, but you know 30, 32, 40, whatever, whatever age you're at, it's like, yeah, maybe, maybe you're not getting the same economy your parents got Right.

00:28:06.675 --> 00:28:10.547
We're not getting that, and I think, first of all, that's just true.

00:28:10.547 --> 00:28:12.240
We got to live in that truth.

00:28:12.240 --> 00:28:17.738
We're not getting that but does that mean that we can't still go after things?

00:28:17.738 --> 00:28:19.298
We want that we can't still go after things we want.

00:28:19.318 --> 00:28:20.599
Listen, listen, can I hop in?

00:28:20.599 --> 00:28:25.784
I think being staying in a victim mindset will.

00:28:25.784 --> 00:28:31.929
It will kill your creativity, because you become hyper-focused on being rescued.

00:28:31.929 --> 00:28:35.991
You know I'm, you know I'm a victim and you're waiting on your hero.

00:28:35.991 --> 00:28:43.250
You're waiting on your boat to come that will come and take you out of this situation, and you become hyper-focused on I can't wait till I get out of this.

00:28:43.250 --> 00:29:03.305
I can't wait till I get out of this and you, you are looking for something external to change your circumstances instead of you learning how to thrive in the midst of the crisis, because that is what builds the necessary ingredients in you in order to really become the next thing that you're becoming.

00:29:03.326 --> 00:29:04.868
That's it Right, that's the cooking.

00:29:04.868 --> 00:29:10.406
Yeah, the cooking is the creativity that you gain from being in difficult circumstances.

00:29:10.406 --> 00:29:15.967
Yeah, but when you are constantly like this is wrong, this is wrong, why did they do this, why did they do this?

00:29:15.967 --> 00:29:20.547
And that's kind of like something that our generation is stuck on right now.

00:29:20.547 --> 00:29:28.500
When you look on uh, instagram, facebook, all of the places we're all talking about, you know how you know other generations were able to do this.

00:29:28.980 --> 00:29:33.538
They got this, remember when gas was a dollar, but no, remember when gas was a dollar.

00:29:33.638 --> 00:29:36.565
Wow, okay, because I actually do remember.

00:29:36.605 --> 00:29:42.554
When I remember, I remember when the three prices for gas was like 99 cent a99, $1, and $1.01.

00:29:42.554 --> 00:29:47.707
And my mama was like we're getting that $0.99 gas, you know, because that penny made a difference.

00:29:47.707 --> 00:29:51.775
Now they're like $0.50, $0.75 a part and you're like Lord, yeah, right.

00:29:51.775 --> 00:30:00.808
But you know, when we stay fixated on what we don't have, you miss your opportunity to have more.

00:30:00.808 --> 00:30:04.040
Guess what you can get a house in this economy.

00:30:04.060 --> 00:30:07.422
Yes you can Guess what, you can thrive in this economy, that's right.

00:30:07.422 --> 00:30:09.441
Guess what you can make moves.

00:30:09.441 --> 00:30:18.208
You can be successful, you can move to your next level of living, but not if you stay stuck believing that you are a victim.

00:30:18.208 --> 00:30:22.285
Come on, the victim will never get themselves out of a situation.

00:30:22.285 --> 00:30:25.063
Yeah, you have to move from being a victim to a victor.

00:30:25.063 --> 00:30:36.424
Yeah, and you only do that by sitting down, taking a moment, assessing what do I have in me, what is available, what is at my disposal to help me win.

00:30:36.424 --> 00:30:44.842
And I'm going to tell y'all right now the path towards your next level in life, towards your elevation, is not traditional.

00:30:44.842 --> 00:30:47.790
It's not going to be the way your parents did it.

00:30:47.951 --> 00:30:50.319
It's not going to be the way that you've seen it done before.

00:30:50.800 --> 00:30:57.823
You are going to have to allow God to carry you through a creative process to get to where he's taking you.

00:30:57.883 --> 00:30:58.785
You absolutely do.

00:30:58.785 --> 00:31:00.008
I love that.

00:31:00.008 --> 00:31:05.366
You said that it's not traditional and you're not going to, it's not going to be the way you've seen it before.

00:31:05.366 --> 00:31:19.161
And so to your point, that creativity piece is so crucial, right, like you need and we are some of the most creative, we have a high degree of creativity in our and and and entrepreneurship and innovation, like that's what we do.

00:31:19.161 --> 00:31:24.494
And so don't just innovate for business, innovate for your life, innovate you know what I'm saying?

00:31:24.494 --> 00:31:30.202
Innovate for your personal life, innovate for what you do, and I think innovation looks different for different people.

00:31:30.282 --> 00:31:34.204
Right, like you know, like you might not be the person that comes up with business ideas.

00:31:34.204 --> 00:31:34.994
Right, but you can.

00:31:34.994 --> 00:31:36.056
You might be the person that makes processes better.

00:31:36.056 --> 00:31:37.998
Yeah, you know you might be the person that makes processes better.

00:31:37.998 --> 00:31:40.520
You know you might be the person that can get in.

00:31:40.520 --> 00:31:42.162
You're great at assisting people.

00:31:42.162 --> 00:31:46.547
You might be the person that's really good at making things look great and making things better.

00:31:46.547 --> 00:31:50.990
Figure out what your thing is and maximize it.

00:31:50.990 --> 00:32:13.856
Yeah, right, and stop getting stuck on what you wish you had or what you wish was different, and allow yourself to say, okay, I'm in a difficult moment, but I don't have to stay here because the people even if, even if, even if because I know some of y'all y'all got the bosses, you got the family members, you got the people who you feel like put you in a little difficult spot.

00:32:13.856 --> 00:32:20.288
I understand, even if somebody else put me in the spot, I don't have to stay.

00:32:20.575 --> 00:32:20.852
Even if somebody else put me in the spot.

00:32:20.852 --> 00:32:21.540
I don't have to stay here.

00:32:21.540 --> 00:32:26.112
I don't have to stay here, and them changing is not what's going to deliver me out of my circumstance, 100%.

00:32:26.132 --> 00:32:30.986
That's it, because, first of all, that's not your decision for them to change.

00:32:31.105 --> 00:32:33.507
It's not your decision and are you trying to wait on them to change?

00:32:33.507 --> 00:32:46.400
I'm not trying to wait on them to change Like you, just you opting into a situation you don't have to be in for long.

00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:50.353
But if you just keep waiting on other people to change or on society to change or on the economy to change, then you are just opting into being where you are longer and and that's and.

00:32:50.353 --> 00:32:53.784
So, because you have no idea when that's going to happen, you don't have, you don't have control over that.

00:32:53.844 --> 00:33:07.865
I think that moves us to this, you know, to this next point of like yes, yes, feel, yes, do that yes, be, be in that for a time, but, like you said, don't be stuck after you have felt and have resolved.

00:33:07.865 --> 00:33:09.028
This is where I am.

00:33:09.028 --> 00:33:15.580
This is the real reality evaluate, evaluate what, okay, what, what does this really look like?

00:33:15.580 --> 00:33:31.125
Start to start to see, not just, not just, not again, not just feel it, but process it, evaluate it, um, and and really really, under, begin to try to understand some stuff.

00:33:31.125 --> 00:33:33.269
Right, it's a good time.

00:33:33.269 --> 00:33:35.217
It's a good time to pick up a new book.

00:33:35.217 --> 00:33:38.160
It's a good time to listen to a new podcast.

00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:39.540
It's a good time to listen to a new podcast.

00:33:39.540 --> 00:33:45.767
It's a good time to, um, you know, throw on a sermon you ain't heard in a minute, like, get your, get your mind going.

00:33:45.807 --> 00:33:46.647
You know what I'm saying.

00:33:46.728 --> 00:33:54.045
Start putting some things into your mind so you can have some understanding and look at, begin to really evaluate and look at all right, what am I?

00:33:54.045 --> 00:33:55.760
You know what you're feeling?

00:33:55.760 --> 00:33:57.038
Yeah, name it.

00:33:57.038 --> 00:33:59.388
And then evaluate the thing you just named.

00:33:59.388 --> 00:34:03.359
Right, if you're feeling disappointed, what made me disappointed?

00:34:03.359 --> 00:34:07.709
Okay, my, my boss, um, my, my, I didn't get the raise.

00:34:07.709 --> 00:34:12.996
I want it, which I, and so my plans, my financial plans, have been thwarted because I didn't get the raise I wanted to get.

00:34:13.036 --> 00:34:13.257
Yeah.

00:34:13.416 --> 00:34:17.304
Okay, you're disappointed, you're upset, you're, you can't move forward in your life.

00:34:17.304 --> 00:34:21.190
You feel like, because X, y, z, cool, for sure, this is the issue.

00:34:21.190 --> 00:34:23.179
Now you know what it is, you felt it.

00:34:23.179 --> 00:34:24.603
Now let's look at it, let's evaluate it.

00:34:24.603 --> 00:34:25.465
What are my other options?

00:34:25.465 --> 00:34:27.221
Yeah, what are the other things I could do?

00:34:27.221 --> 00:34:28.760
How else can I get this money?

00:34:28.760 --> 00:34:42.876
And now you put yourself in a position to move forward and not just stay stuck, but, in order to move, actually pause, evaluate, look at your, look at it and start to start to iterate on different ways to move.

00:34:43.038 --> 00:34:45.306
Yeah, no for sure I think about.

00:34:45.306 --> 00:34:52.929
Uh, when you were talking, I thought about emotional intelligence, right, because emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness.

00:34:52.929 --> 00:35:00.027
You have to be aware of what is the emotion, what is the thing that I'm feeling in this moment?

00:35:00.027 --> 00:35:07.802
Right, that that that you have to be able to name it, right, right, and that was something that I really had to learn how to do, jaquita.

00:35:07.802 --> 00:35:09.327
You feel a big feeling right now.

00:35:09.327 --> 00:35:15.467
You have to be able to name it so that once you move from self-awareness, then you can move to self-management.

00:35:15.467 --> 00:35:18.282
Yes, Right, ok, I know I have.

00:35:18.282 --> 00:35:20.427
I have taken a moment with myself.

00:35:20.427 --> 00:35:25.688
I have identified the feeling how am I going to manage myself through this, through this moment?

00:35:25.688 --> 00:35:28.302
Right, because we talk about time management.

00:35:28.302 --> 00:35:34.059
It is not about managing the time that you're in the situation, it's about learning to manage yourself.

00:35:34.059 --> 00:35:34.420
That's it.

00:35:34.601 --> 00:35:37.307
Right, how am I going to manage feeling disappointed?

00:35:37.307 --> 00:35:38.360
How am I going to manage feeling angry?

00:35:38.360 --> 00:35:39.507
Yeah, how am I going to manage feeling disappointed?

00:35:39.507 --> 00:35:40.311
How am I going to manage feeling angry?

00:35:40.311 --> 00:35:42.398
How am I going to manage feeling anxious?

00:35:42.398 --> 00:35:48.659
How am I going to manage these big feelings so that I can get to the place of purpose.

00:35:48.659 --> 00:36:00.643
Emotional intelligence does not just lead to greater relationships, it leads to greater purpose, because once you have self-awareness and self-management, now you have societal awareness.

00:36:00.643 --> 00:36:12.865
Yeah, now you can take a step back, because it's not just about me, me and me, right, you can take a step back and evaluate the whole picture, right, and figure out okay, now I have societal awareness.

00:36:12.865 --> 00:36:16.965
Then the last stage of emotional intelligence is societal impact.

00:36:16.965 --> 00:36:25.480
Right, but you cannot get to a point, a place of impact, if you have not gotten to a place of self-management yeah, that's good.

00:36:25.900 --> 00:36:26.302
That's good.

00:36:26.302 --> 00:36:30.556
Thank you, you're welcome what's next, okay?

00:36:30.617 --> 00:36:41.827
so I think that it's going to be important that, as you are going through what we are going to call the process, yes and uh for all saved people, you've heard that word process before.

00:36:41.827 --> 00:36:43.097
The church loves it.

00:36:43.338 --> 00:36:44.802
They love that, they love that word.

00:36:44.802 --> 00:36:45.806
You're in a process.

00:36:46.356 --> 00:36:47.641
You know you're in a process.

00:36:47.641 --> 00:36:54.661
You know, I think that it's important that you realize that a process is something you have to submit to.

00:36:54.661 --> 00:37:06.237
Everything that we mentioned to you today, everything that we mentioned to you in this moment, it that we mentioned to you today.

00:37:06.237 --> 00:37:07.320
Everything that we mentioned to you in this moment.

00:37:07.340 --> 00:37:10.791
It is something that you are going to have to sign up for you are going to have to say I am willing to go through the process that's going to take me from good to great.

00:37:10.791 --> 00:37:11.233
I am willing for this.

00:37:11.233 --> 00:37:16.844
You have to allow the crisis, the moment of conflict, to do its work in you.

00:37:16.844 --> 00:37:18.166
You have to allow that.

00:37:18.166 --> 00:37:35.045
You know, I think when we look at any storyline, when we look at any uh, any story plot, right, you have the main character, who, who begins the story at a certain place, and we learn about their, their story, we learn about who they are, but they hit a moment of conflict.

00:37:35.045 --> 00:37:38.936
A moment, a moment of conflict, is simply a moment of decision.

00:37:38.936 --> 00:37:39.376
That's right.

00:37:39.376 --> 00:37:40.659
Right, it is a.

00:37:40.659 --> 00:37:52.586
Am I going to allow myself to go through the process in order to become who I need to become, or am I going to allow the situation to literally overtake me and keep me stuck where I am?

00:37:52.646 --> 00:37:53.068
You know what.

00:37:53.068 --> 00:37:54.360
You know what screenwriters call that.

00:37:54.360 --> 00:37:54.902
What's that?

00:37:54.902 --> 00:37:56.601
The dark night of the soul.

00:37:56.601 --> 00:38:06.583
So there's a book called Save the Cat yeah, and it's what screenwriters use to write movies and there's 15 beats in every story.

00:38:06.583 --> 00:38:08.748
Yeah right, I bought the book recently.

00:38:08.748 --> 00:38:12.394
I've looked at the 15 beats because I want to kind of use it as something we're doing in angel street.

00:38:12.394 --> 00:38:19.621
But like, I read through it and then I watched a couple of movies and I sat there and I and I looked at each beat and I tried to find it was really dope.

00:38:20.422 --> 00:38:29.485
But yeah, that, like what you're saying, it's like beat, like I don't know 13, yeah, something like that okay and it sounds like that would be the dark night of the soul it's.

00:38:29.686 --> 00:38:30.067
It's that.

00:38:30.067 --> 00:38:36.164
It's the moment where you make a decision on when am I going to?

00:38:36.164 --> 00:38:37.987
Am I like you said?

00:38:37.987 --> 00:38:44.483
Am I going to go through the process of the change that becomes a different me, and and, and you've, you've, you've hit all these points.

00:38:44.483 --> 00:38:45.788
The bad things have happened.

00:38:45.788 --> 00:38:54.838
It's gotten worse than you thought it was going to get, and now you're in this, you're in this moment, and you get to decide do I, do I, do I keep my?

00:38:54.838 --> 00:38:58.382
Do I go through the rest of this process or do I just stop here and get stuck?

00:38:58.382 --> 00:39:00.244
And that's that's the moment, right?

00:39:00.244 --> 00:39:01.786
And so I love that.

00:39:01.786 --> 00:39:02.025
It's.

00:39:02.025 --> 00:39:04.668
It's a part of everybody's story.

00:39:04.668 --> 00:39:07.876
It's a part of everybody's story.

00:39:08.036 --> 00:39:14.597
And that's because you don't get to the next level without getting to this moment of great decision.

00:39:14.597 --> 00:39:16.101
You, you know there.

00:39:16.101 --> 00:39:16.922
There are moments.

00:39:16.922 --> 00:39:19.157
You know middle adults, y'all know there are moments.

00:39:19.157 --> 00:39:20.581
You sometimes just got to sit with yourself.

00:39:20.581 --> 00:39:21.103
You do.

00:39:21.103 --> 00:39:30.634
You just got to sit with yourself and you got to decide am I going to allow my life to continue to stay in this place where I've gotten comfortable in?

00:39:30.634 --> 00:39:41.766
Yeah, because we've now lived long enough where we got comfortable, and a lot of times we got comfortable in a spot that wasn't our intended spot.

00:39:41.766 --> 00:39:45.143
You got comfortable, and that could be for a variety of reasons.

00:39:45.143 --> 00:39:49.059
It could be because of the structures that you built around yourself in childhood.

00:39:49.059 --> 00:39:52.226
It could be because of the things that you are trying to avoid.

00:39:52.594 --> 00:39:54.298
Are you trying to avoid rejection?

00:39:54.298 --> 00:40:00.721
Are you trying to avoid feeling unsafe or feeling less than what are you trying to avoid?

00:40:00.721 --> 00:40:21.648
Because the thing you're trying to avoid is the very thing that you need to surrender, the thing that you the thing, because the thing that you're trying to avoid is causing you to hold too tightly to something that God is saying if I don't loosen your grasp on this thing, I cannot your, your hands are full of what you're avoiding.

00:40:21.648 --> 00:40:23.755
It's full of it.

00:40:23.755 --> 00:40:28.507
You are full of avoiding, uh, avoiding big feelings or avoiding big moments.

00:40:28.806 --> 00:40:31.418
You are full of trying to avoid rejection.

00:40:31.418 --> 00:40:41.007
You're full of trying to avoid, uh, uh being being put out or cast out or being ignored or feeling less than, or feeling unworthy.

00:40:41.007 --> 00:40:51.454
You are, your hands are full right and you are living a life where you are juggling what you're trying to avoid with what you're trying to obtain.

00:40:51.454 --> 00:41:07.304
And until you put down right that thing, until you put down your, your care and your grasp on what you're trying to avoid and allow yourself to pick up Right, the allow yourself to surrender to the process.

00:41:07.304 --> 00:41:14.326
Surrendering to the process means rejection might happen, but I'm going to go on anyway.

00:41:14.385 --> 00:41:16.108
I'm going to do it anyway.

00:41:16.108 --> 00:41:18.601
Right, uh, uh, uh.

00:41:18.601 --> 00:41:25.621
I might get, uh, I might get in a situation that I feel like I'm not good enough for yep, but I'm gonna go in anyway.

00:41:25.621 --> 00:41:34.356
Yes, exactly, right, you have to get to the point of I'm gonna do it anyway and you know, and I, if you haven't, if you're curious at all, it's not expensive.

00:41:34.396 --> 00:41:35.784
I'm telling you, save the cat.

00:41:35.784 --> 00:41:40.916
This book is so interesting and even if you don't want to get the book, you can look it up online.

00:41:40.916 --> 00:41:42.398
What are the 15 beats of every story?

00:41:42.458 --> 00:42:00.083
because you, once you realize that not only you look at that, not only are those real stories, those are stories we love yeah, they're stories we gravitate to, those are stories we like to learn from, because that, right there, everything you just said, is we, you make a decision.

00:42:00.083 --> 00:42:04.201
You have to make a decision to say I'm either gonna stay here, I'm gonna keep going.

00:42:04.201 --> 00:42:06.306
Look, think about any movie, right?

00:42:06.306 --> 00:42:14.983
I mean, think about aladdin, think about lion king, think about, you know, all these movies, moana I don't know that, we just watched moana 2 in my house and so I got that in my head.

00:42:14.983 --> 00:42:17.175
But, like you know, think about watch mufasa.

00:42:17.175 --> 00:42:18.376
There you go, mufasa, right.

00:42:18.376 --> 00:42:29.420
There's all these moments where these were the main has to decide, and a lot of times it feels like you are likely going to lose, but I'm gonna try it anyway.

00:42:29.420 --> 00:42:32.668
Yeah, like I'm not gonna stay here, I'm probably we, you know.

00:42:32.789 --> 00:42:44.344
And in mufasa, at the very end, where the pride, you know, the all the people yeah, you know he had to bring all these people together he's like I don't think I can do that I'm sorry, yeah, yeah, spoiler alert, but you know it's fine, we're not giving away too much, it's on disney plus now.

00:42:44.443 --> 00:42:45.786
Yeah, it'd be fine, you'll be good.

00:42:45.786 --> 00:42:46.588
It's a great movie.

00:42:46.588 --> 00:42:50.253
Once it hits the streaming services, yeah, it's good, we're good, okay, good so.

00:42:50.434 --> 00:42:54.300
So he's trying to get all these people together, these animals together that have never done anything before.

00:42:54.300 --> 00:42:56.485
He's like I don't, who am I, who am I?

00:42:56.485 --> 00:42:57.929
He was convinced to do it.

00:42:57.929 --> 00:43:03.146
He did it without knowing what the outcome was going to be yeah, against these, you know these predators.

00:43:03.146 --> 00:43:13.240
And so he decided to go and but there was a moment where he could have said I'm not going to do it and because and if he wouldn't have done it he would never become the king.

00:43:13.240 --> 00:43:14.063
But he did it.

00:43:14.063 --> 00:43:17.677
But he did it not knowing that kingship was coming Right.

00:43:17.677 --> 00:43:28.384
He did it because I'm just going to choose to move forward, and I think that this idea of the process, that's that's what's, that's what's so powerful.

00:43:28.403 --> 00:43:37.373
Yeah, and I think you know if you are a young person watching us today, because I know we talk a lot to middle adults, all right, but maybe one of our young adults snuck in on us, all right, I want you to know, because I've been talking to them.

00:43:37.373 --> 00:43:50.163
You know, because they're looking at the moment that we're in right now and they are trying to determine what role, what place they're going to have in history in this moment.

00:43:50.163 --> 00:43:51.427
They're the mufassas right now.

00:43:51.427 --> 00:43:52.990
Yeah, you know, they are the.

00:43:52.990 --> 00:43:53.512
They are the.

00:43:53.512 --> 00:43:54.382
I'm walking.

00:43:54.382 --> 00:44:03.889
I don't yet know that I'm a king, I don't yet know what I will be right, but I'm walking in this moment and I'm trying to figure out how am I going to use my gifts?

00:44:03.889 --> 00:44:10.704
How am I going to use, how am I going to use just my natural inclinations to get to my next spot?

00:44:10.704 --> 00:44:12.606
Right, he had a destination in mind.

00:44:12.606 --> 00:44:15.047
He didn't know what he was going to become at that destination.

00:44:15.047 --> 00:44:16.047
He just had it.

00:44:16.047 --> 00:44:18.130
He just knew he had to get there, right yeah.

00:44:18.230 --> 00:44:42.666
And so I think that is so important for y'all, especially as you are thinking through what am I going to do with this next season of my life, to to remember that when you look through history I know sometimes we look through history and history feels old, but the people who were history makers were young that's real when they were creating history you know I'm saying they were.

00:44:42.806 --> 00:44:47.063
You know the freedom writers were college, high school and college students.

00:44:47.063 --> 00:44:51.371
You know MLK was like in his late 20s, early 30s when he started.

00:44:51.371 --> 00:45:00.206
Yeah, you know, like these people, when we look back sometimes we see adults, but when they were in it they were young.

00:45:00.206 --> 00:45:05.570
They were young, and so you know a lot of what's happening that you guys want to respond to.

00:45:05.570 --> 00:45:06.820
We are it's.

00:45:06.820 --> 00:45:19.172
It's your boots on the ground that we're waiting for, and I don't want you to miss your moment to become a part of history right and so, so, don't be afraid, don't, don't let any man despise you because of your youth.

00:45:19.760 --> 00:45:21.382
Okay, you allow.

00:45:21.382 --> 00:45:26.985
Allow yourself to be great in the moment that you're in, and history will look kindly on you.

00:45:28.987 --> 00:45:30.449
That's bringing us to our last point here.

00:45:30.449 --> 00:45:47.987
So I think and I think it leans, it leans, it lids itself into this, because I think, when you're in a crisis, it's very the thing that feels the most natural is to focus on your crisis, oh, absolutely, and to focus on yourself and the crisis.

00:45:47.987 --> 00:45:48.409
Focus me, focus on.

00:45:48.409 --> 00:45:53.382
I need help, I need, you know, and you, and that's true, yeah, right, and you, you absolutely should do that.

00:45:53.382 --> 00:46:22.884
But I think that something I have, uh, had to unlearn in moments of crisis is that not just, it's if you think, if there's a point where thinking just about your crisis or your situation is no longer helpful or useful, because you do all these things that we're saying is good to do in our experience, and you know you're, you've admitted it, you are submitting yourself to the process, you are doing all the things you you're supposed to do.

00:46:22.884 --> 00:46:28.451
You're not pretending you're, you believe you're going to win, but you're not delusional on the timing.

00:46:28.451 --> 00:46:32.096
All those things, right, well, all right, I'm doing all that.

00:46:32.096 --> 00:46:33.282
So what do I do?

00:46:33.903 --> 00:46:43.594
And I think one of the things that is really beautiful and that can really be useful in that time is to focus on serving other people.

00:46:43.695 --> 00:46:56.407
Now let me be clear not serving other people to ignore your issue, but serving other people in the midst of your crisis, so that your energy isn't just on you and it's not just on your problem and it's not just on your disappointment.

00:46:56.708 --> 00:47:22.474
But now you can use energy to do something that is going to impact something bigger than you, and I think it does something for perspective and it does something for relationship, and oftentimes you will find contentment that you didn't know you could find, because now you're not just focused on the problem, you're focused on a solution for somebody else.

00:47:22.474 --> 00:47:28.362
So it reminds you that solutions are out there, and so, if I can focus on a solution for what?

00:47:28.362 --> 00:47:33.842
If somebody else is putting energy and focusing on a solution for me, right, I'm focusing on them.

00:47:33.842 --> 00:47:38.594
It makes me believe that somebody's got to be out there working on my behalf.

00:47:38.594 --> 00:47:51.251
So I'm just going to work on somebody else's right, and so I think that that has been something, and I think it's healthy for us to unlearn that focusing on yourself during a crisis at a certain point is no longer healthy.

00:47:51.572 --> 00:47:51.831
Yeah.

00:47:51.871 --> 00:47:57.849
Focus on somebody else, focus on serving and not just sulking and what you're doing.

00:47:57.889 --> 00:48:05.432
Yeah, and I think that what you will find is that what will get you to your next level is not your ability, it's your service.

00:48:05.432 --> 00:48:10.985
Your next level is not your ability, it's your service, it is your ability to.

00:48:10.985 --> 00:48:29.572
Because, let me tell you something, regardless of what area in in industry, in life, in business, in community, in church that you have been called to serve, and regardless of it, there is a it will, one it will make you better right, serving increases your capacity.

00:48:29.592 --> 00:48:29.952
It does.

00:48:30.199 --> 00:48:30.701
You don't.

00:48:30.701 --> 00:48:41.766
There are some areas of your life that won't be made better until you are pouring it out somewhere, One hundred percent, you trying to keep it to yourself and say you know, you know, I used to.

00:48:41.766 --> 00:48:46.492
You know, when I first graduated from divinity school, I went to good schools.

00:48:46.492 --> 00:48:48.014
You know, not that all schools aren't good.

00:48:48.014 --> 00:48:48.900
Go to college I.

00:48:48.900 --> 00:48:50.585
You know I'll go to a trade school.

00:48:50.585 --> 00:48:52.231
You know, get your education.

00:48:52.231 --> 00:48:53.592
Have you got to get it?

00:48:53.592 --> 00:48:54.199
You know what I'm saying.

00:48:54.199 --> 00:48:59.500
But I went to these, you know, really recognizable, really, you know, high profile schools.

00:48:59.500 --> 00:49:08.253
So when I graduated from Divinity School I was like hello, who wants your girl?

00:49:08.253 --> 00:49:10.320
Yeah, all right, who trying to hire me?

00:49:10.320 --> 00:49:13.650
And everybody was like, first of all, you got a master of divinity.

00:49:13.650 --> 00:49:15.742
What even is that and how that?

00:49:15.742 --> 00:49:25.728
I mean, one of the first jobs I applied to was a law office and it was like ma'am, this, but I had worked at a law office during divinity school and I was like you know, they gonna see that, they gonna translate that.

00:49:25.681 --> 00:49:26.342
They was like man, we don't want this.

00:49:26.342 --> 00:49:27.329
You and I was like you know, they're going to see that, they're going to translate that.

00:49:27.329 --> 00:49:28.181
They was like man, we don't want this, you know.

00:49:28.181 --> 00:49:45.021
But I was so focused on what I thought was my capabilities I did not yet have enough work experience to say hey, I am a person that produces, I am a person that leads, I am a person that pours Right.

00:49:45.021 --> 00:49:47.302
You have got.

00:49:47.302 --> 00:49:54.123
What makes you prove positive is not what you're capable of doing, is who you're capable of influencing.

00:49:54.123 --> 00:50:02.806
It's where you're able to make impact and where you're able to lead teams, processes, ideas.

00:50:02.806 --> 00:50:04.608
You have to be able to show.

00:50:04.608 --> 00:50:05.768
I have served.

00:50:05.768 --> 00:50:06.148
Yes.

00:50:06.588 --> 00:50:07.768
In some capacity.

00:50:08.088 --> 00:50:09.188
Everybody's not people.

00:50:09.188 --> 00:50:15.871
Yeah, you know everybody's not leading teams and leading, but where in your life have you poured out?

00:50:15.871 --> 00:50:20.293
And I teach my students that purpose has to be tied to impact.

00:50:20.293 --> 00:50:25.795
If your purpose only impacts you, that's not a purpose, that's an aspiration.

00:50:25.795 --> 00:50:31.016
And there's difference, because purpose impacts, yeah, purpose.

00:50:31.016 --> 00:50:36.938
Pull something forward, what you are not designed to come into earth and serve yourself.

00:50:36.938 --> 00:50:45.936
No, you were designed to come in and have an impact that would be beneficial for community and not just individually, absolutely.

00:50:46.882 --> 00:50:48.070
I don't have anything to add to that.

00:50:48.070 --> 00:50:50.764
Hey, listen, because you know that was good.

00:50:51.246 --> 00:50:56.606
I can always tell when we come to a close because it's like all right, y'all feel good I think we're done.

00:50:56.648 --> 00:51:17.704
No, no, I think I think that's, I think that was good, um, and I hope you're encouraged, because the reality is a lot of people are in crisis right now yeah and, and so this is why we thought it was really, really important to talk about this, and so I think a lot of people who are listening just by sheer statistics are probably in a crisis in some way.

00:51:17.704 --> 00:51:22.172
Are you feeling like I'm not able to deal with X, Y, Z?

00:51:22.393 --> 00:51:22.753
For sure.

00:51:22.880 --> 00:51:37.846
And so I hope that this was encouraging to you, and I hope that you can take this and maybe, if you have to listen to it more than one time just to remind yourself what are some of the things that I need to be doing right now in order to come out on the other side of this for sure.

00:51:37.947 --> 00:51:43.449
So all right, all right, friends, one more time, if you made it to the end of this podcast.

00:51:43.449 --> 00:51:45.362
We so enjoyed hanging out with you.

00:51:45.362 --> 00:51:48.588
Be sure to like, share and subscribe.

00:51:48.588 --> 00:51:53.072
Tell a friend to tell a friend and we look forward to seeing you on the next one.

00:51:53.579 --> 00:51:57.210
So let's keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom.

00:51:57.210 --> 00:52:05.706
Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned podcast.

00:52:05.706 --> 00:52:09.853
We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.

00:52:09.853 --> 00:52:16.592
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.

00:52:16.592 --> 00:52:22.880
We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

00:52:22.880 --> 00:52:23.860
See you then.