April 28, 2025

Unlearning Parenting: The Challenge and The Blessing of a Blended Family

Unlearning Parenting: The Challenge and The Blessing of a Blended Family
Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
Castro podcast player badge
RSS Feed podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Castro podcast player icon RSS Feed podcast player icon

Send us a text

The Gardners join us to share their journey as a blended family, revealing how they built a strong foundation through commitment, communication, and adapting to unexpected changes. Ty and Ruth Abigail discuss how their relationship evolved from online dating to creating a unified family, demonstrating that love makes room for the unexpected.

• Meeting on Facebook and moving from text messages to real connection
• Being transparent about children from day one of dating
• Adapting when a temporary visit became permanent parenthood two days before their wedding
• Transitioning from "fun weekend parent" to full-time parenting
• Balancing personal dreams and careers with family responsibilities
• Challenging traditional role expectations in parenting
• Building genuine connection between stepparent and child
• Creating an environment where both partners can maintain their identities
• Understanding that commitment comes before plans in family building
• Recognizing that in blended families, you must want it to work

Like, share, and subscribe to the Unlearned Podcast. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram to join the conversation and continue unlearning together to move forward towards freedom.


00:00 - Meet the Gardners, Our Special Guests

02:40 - How Ty and Ruth Met

09:42 - Dating with Kids and Initial Connections

14:58 - Unexpected Life Changes Before the Wedding

26:29 - Sacrifices and Shifting Priorities

37:49 - Parenting Identity and Role Expectations

49:45 - From Fun Weekend Adult to Full-time Parent

59:56 - The Importance of Commitment in Blended Families

01:12:24 - A Special Guest Appearance

WEBVTT

00:00:05.868 --> 00:00:06.227
what's up?

00:00:06.227 --> 00:00:06.769
Everybody?

00:00:06.769 --> 00:00:07.870
It's your girl, jaquita.

00:00:07.870 --> 00:00:16.493
This is the unlearned podcast, where we help you to change your mind so that you yes, you can experience more freedom.

00:00:16.493 --> 00:00:21.646
Guys, as you can see, I did the intro today because it is a special day.

00:00:21.646 --> 00:00:22.568
Okay, it is a special day, okay.

00:00:22.568 --> 00:00:26.382
It is a wonderful day, okay, today we have the gardeners.

00:00:26.382 --> 00:00:29.030
Y'all, everybody give it up for Ty and Ruth Abigail.

00:00:29.030 --> 00:00:30.303
What's up?

00:00:30.303 --> 00:00:33.965
People Say hey to the people.

00:00:33.965 --> 00:00:35.914
Ty, hey everybody.

00:00:37.201 --> 00:00:40.481
Hey Right, we have the lovely couple.

00:00:40.481 --> 00:00:46.313
Ruth Abigail has done a fantastic job without me, okay, a fantastic job.

00:00:46.313 --> 00:00:48.060
I know y'all miss me.

00:00:48.060 --> 00:00:50.926
I know that people was like, wait, I'm back.

00:00:50.926 --> 00:00:53.810
Okay, here I go, okay.

00:00:53.810 --> 00:01:16.569
But Ruth Abigail has done a fantastic job on this parenting series and we wanted to make sure that we hit as many facets of parenting as we could, and we realized there was one topic that we hadn't hit yet, that the gardeners are just a perfect little prototype for.

00:01:16.569 --> 00:01:19.468
So today we're going to switch it up a little bit.

00:01:19.468 --> 00:01:26.548
I'll be doing the interviewing, okay, and we're going to have a fun time with Ruth and Ty.

00:01:26.548 --> 00:01:28.605
Ruth, have a good time with your friend.

00:01:28.765 --> 00:01:29.308
I'm a little nervous.

00:01:29.308 --> 00:01:29.930
I ain't going to lie to you.

00:01:29.930 --> 00:01:36.724
I'm nervous because I don't know how much I like you having this much control over the conversation.

00:01:36.724 --> 00:01:39.608
I don't know, I don't like being vulnerable.

00:01:39.608 --> 00:01:41.206
You know, like this, this is a little much.

00:01:42.302 --> 00:01:44.489
And that's been the last 20 years of friendship.

00:01:44.489 --> 00:01:45.751
So what's new about that?

00:01:48.799 --> 00:01:50.527
Finally somebody, she can root.

00:01:52.700 --> 00:01:53.545
Listen, ty.

00:01:53.545 --> 00:01:55.051
Okay, let me tell you something.

00:01:55.051 --> 00:01:57.527
My brother know I always got his back.

00:01:57.527 --> 00:02:02.149
He know, he know if he need backup, he know who to call.

00:02:02.149 --> 00:02:15.008
That's why we had to make sure, see, we couldn't let Ruth Abigail do this by herself, friends All right, because she would have been over here trying to monopolize the conversation, trying to lead Ty, nah, nah, nah nah, nah.

00:02:15.008 --> 00:02:20.028
We're putting both of them on equal grounds.

00:02:20.028 --> 00:02:28.413
That's right Ty, I feel it See, I see my poor brother, my poor brother been out here just pushing through.

00:02:29.759 --> 00:02:32.145
Listen today, ty, that's what this is all about.

00:02:32.145 --> 00:02:33.086
It's about you, bro.

00:02:33.086 --> 00:02:36.313
It's about you, wow, it's about you, I'm just.

00:02:36.313 --> 00:02:44.902
But, guys, today we're here to talk about blended families.

00:02:44.902 --> 00:03:04.493
Ok, we're talking about families that came together, that had family before, had children before, had a story before their story began, and so really wanting to just touch on kind of what's special about, you know, being in the being in that situation.

00:03:04.514 --> 00:03:12.918
You know, I see a lot of Facebook posts that talk about being bonus moms and you know, this isn't my stepchild, this is, this is my baby.

00:03:12.918 --> 00:03:19.852
You know, this is, this is part of my family, and so we really want to kind of dig into some of that, because it's a lot of people's reality.

00:03:19.852 --> 00:03:26.810
You know, I'm 38 out here in the dating world, yes, out here in the dating world.

00:03:26.810 --> 00:03:27.790
Yes, out here in the dating world.

00:03:27.790 --> 00:03:29.353
Okay, still out, still out here.

00:03:29.353 --> 00:03:30.175
You know, gotta let them know.

00:03:30.175 --> 00:03:47.283
But, and you know that's like, it's like a reality that I'm like it is highly likely that I might find myself in a, in a, in a blended family where we're working together to build something new, in a blended family where we're working together to build something new.

00:03:47.283 --> 00:03:49.627
So I want to begin, ty, let's begin with you.

00:03:49.627 --> 00:03:55.134
I want to hear your version of the how I met my wife story.

00:04:03.980 --> 00:04:07.955
So tell us a little bit about kind of like y'all's relationship, how it began, how we got to the beautiful place we are now.

00:04:07.974 --> 00:04:09.240
Well, it's back in 2021.

00:04:10.521 --> 00:04:14.512
All right, Ty, it's too early for you to be having to guess years and things now.

00:04:15.502 --> 00:04:16.666
April 2021.

00:04:16.908 --> 00:04:17.249
There you go.

00:04:18.521 --> 00:04:21.089
It was rolling dice oh boy.

00:04:21.089 --> 00:04:25.725
And I took all the guy money and that's all we had left.

00:04:25.725 --> 00:04:27.550
You want to bet that?

00:04:27.550 --> 00:04:27.870
Okay?

00:04:27.870 --> 00:04:32.968
So I just wanted a dice game.

00:04:34.985 --> 00:04:37.298
That sounds stellar, let's clean that up real quick.

00:04:41.247 --> 00:04:43.512
No, no, no, no no.

00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:49.567
All I heard was him say that you're his prize, and that was beautiful is that what you heard?

00:04:49.567 --> 00:05:00.079
That's what I heard four years later wow that's probably everyone that's beautiful

00:05:02.271 --> 00:05:08.531
the real story no, go ahead the real story, the real story is we met on Facebook night.

00:05:11.274 --> 00:05:33.471
He was like late one night and I was up and I think I was scrolling or something like that and she like matched back and I texted her and we started communicating and she would always like she would always send me these long drawn-out texts and I'm like a straight-to-the-point type of texter.

00:05:33.471 --> 00:05:36.930
It's like, hey, how you doing, I'm fine, how are you?

00:05:36.930 --> 00:05:39.346
And she'll go off.

00:05:39.346 --> 00:05:43.406
Oh, I'm great, She'll tell me about her day and all this.

00:05:43.406 --> 00:05:44.670
It'd be a whole paragraph.

00:05:44.670 --> 00:05:50.723
Well, I ended up having to respond like that and it was out of.

00:05:50.723 --> 00:05:52.689
I had no way to respond.

00:05:52.689 --> 00:05:59.771
I'd have to respond my day was great and this and that, and then with the whole emojis and all that.

00:06:00.060 --> 00:06:01.225
Oh you were putting on.

00:06:01.225 --> 00:06:02.829
Yeah Well, I had to match it.

00:06:03.656 --> 00:06:05.552
Yeah Okay, matching energy, putting on yeah Well, I had to match it.

00:06:05.552 --> 00:06:06.077
Yeah Okay, matching energy.

00:06:06.077 --> 00:06:06.279
Yeah yeah.

00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:11.990
I had to match that, and so we went from there.

00:06:11.990 --> 00:06:14.949
And then finally it was like I was cooking one day.

00:06:14.949 --> 00:06:16.225
I'll never forget what I was cooking.

00:06:16.225 --> 00:06:26.312
I think it was chicken and rice at the time, and I was just like hey, I couldn't do both at the same time.

00:06:26.312 --> 00:06:29.589
So I was like, hey, just block your number out and call.

00:06:29.589 --> 00:06:41.687
I didn't know if she was okay, it was so early in the game and just giving a number out like that so I was just like hey, just block your number out and call.

00:06:41.687 --> 00:06:45.009
Ever since then it's been up.

00:06:47.524 --> 00:06:49.002
That is beautiful.

00:06:49.002 --> 00:06:50.949
I don't think I've ever heard it from Ty.

00:06:51.189 --> 00:06:57.028
Yeah, no, he didn't just say block your number, he said star 69 me.

00:06:59.711 --> 00:07:08.038
I said block, that's old school, that's old school right there I know I'm a little behind the curve with some things, but I don't think I said star 69.

00:07:08.120 --> 00:07:09.987
You said star 69.

00:07:09.987 --> 00:07:14.160
I remember that because I said to myself star 69.

00:07:14.380 --> 00:07:18.920
I heard that 20 years ago Listen, boy, let me tell you something.

00:07:18.920 --> 00:07:28.072
Ninth grade Jaquita, when I wanted to call somebody star 69, you ain't finna, Because when caller ID came, it told too much about business.

00:07:28.394 --> 00:07:29.334
It changed the game.

00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:33.540
Two things changed the game that caller ID and that three-way calling.

00:07:33.540 --> 00:07:39.223
When you get the beep when you used to be on the phone, you get the beep you be like hold on.

00:07:39.223 --> 00:07:40.870
The game has changed.

00:07:41.779 --> 00:07:46.745
Yes, I don't remember the Star 69, but I remember I could have said it.

00:07:46.745 --> 00:07:47.247
I don't know.

00:07:47.247 --> 00:07:50.884
And ever since then, I don't think we never text again.

00:07:50.884 --> 00:07:52.262
I think it's just all been.

00:07:52.824 --> 00:07:54.228
We mostly just talked.

00:07:56.023 --> 00:08:19.487
He told me to call him and he told me to call him and I did.

00:08:19.507 --> 00:08:20.908
He didn't answer and it was late.

00:08:20.908 --> 00:08:24.269
He said give me five minutes, which at the time I didn't realize really meant 30 minutes.

00:08:24.269 --> 00:08:26.269
And so I out there for the single folk.

00:08:26.269 --> 00:08:35.134
Okay, I have forayed in and out, in and out in and out of of the online dating world.

00:08:35.134 --> 00:08:38.095
Like I go on there for two days I'd be like this is terrible.

00:08:38.095 --> 00:08:52.851
And I I also I'm actually not a texter, but when I was interested in somebody I'd be like, all right, let me hit them with the, let me hit them with the monologue, real quick, you know, let me let me hit them with a little extra spice.

00:08:52.851 --> 00:09:00.326
And so I think that that's interesting, like you know, like people realizing what you're honestly looking for some for is for someone to match energy.

00:09:00.326 --> 00:09:04.153
Like that's just like that indication of that first initial spark.

00:09:04.212 --> 00:09:06.787
So that's a very good point yeah, I love that.

00:09:06.826 --> 00:09:13.928
Like you know, like ty was like there's something, there's something about this one that makes me want to do a little bit more than my norm.

00:09:13.948 --> 00:09:19.331
I was texting like this long of a paragraph, and all of that is just so listen.

00:09:19.351 --> 00:09:27.039
Ty said I'm over here writing dissertations, listen oh my god listen and I think there's also another good point.

00:09:27.039 --> 00:09:30.067
You can only do that for so long, folks.

00:09:30.067 --> 00:09:34.379
Yes, we, we're not texting paragraphs for three years.

00:09:34.379 --> 00:09:35.703
No, that's a lot, you know.

00:09:35.703 --> 00:09:41.020
Eventually you do have to move to a different means of communication right.

00:09:41.160 --> 00:09:41.601
move to the.

00:09:41.601 --> 00:09:44.485
I'm sorry for the sidebar, but I felt like somebody needed.

00:09:44.485 --> 00:09:46.889
They needed that point Right.

00:09:46.889 --> 00:09:54.129
And so you know we're talking about blended families and Ty, I'm really interested and Ruth, we'll come to you in a moment.

00:09:54.129 --> 00:09:57.485
Just sit there, sit tight for a little bit, I'm really interested.

00:09:57.485 --> 00:10:14.802
During the dating phase, like when you knew that, you know you were really interested in Ruth Abigail and that it was getting serious, at what point did you say, okay, I'm going to have to be One?

00:10:14.802 --> 00:10:19.486
At what point did you say, okay, it's time for me to tell her that I have kids?

00:10:19.486 --> 00:10:27.951
And then, at what point did you start thinking I'm going to have to bring these worlds together in some way?

00:10:28.760 --> 00:10:42.533
Day one Because I knew the based off of the dialogue and you know, reading her bio and then doing a little research on her, you stalked her, a little bit research on her.

00:10:43.640 --> 00:10:45.129
You stalked her a little bit.

00:10:47.173 --> 00:10:49.005
You know, I just knew her.

00:10:49.005 --> 00:10:53.831
I knew her as a person and it made me just jump like this.

00:10:53.831 --> 00:10:58.230
Definitely you know her and I know she would be.

00:10:58.230 --> 00:11:03.211
She would be happy about it.

00:11:03.211 --> 00:11:22.629
She would love it Basically, like how he is as a kid, and their energies match and I know they would love each other and I know that, most importantly, he would love her based off of how he is, but it's just how she accepted him.

00:11:22.629 --> 00:11:24.826
It's like they hit the ground running.

00:11:24.966 --> 00:11:25.347
Yeah.

00:11:25.548 --> 00:11:30.126
Right off the bat and that was such a blessing and I really really got lucky.

00:11:31.601 --> 00:11:32.205
I love that.

00:11:32.205 --> 00:11:38.285
So, ruth Abigail, I'm trying to remember, I'm trying to rack my brain here.

00:11:38.285 --> 00:11:43.350
Okay, was this your first time dating a man with a child?

00:11:43.350 --> 00:11:49.721
Yeah, okay, yeah, what during the dating phase?

00:11:49.721 --> 00:11:50.102
What were?

00:11:50.102 --> 00:12:00.609
Some of the apprehensions are just kind of like background thoughts that were kind of tickling kind of like the back of your mind about you know what, what?

00:12:00.609 --> 00:12:08.985
Uh, I mean, you know you work with kids, right, so I don't imagine you being nervous that there's a child here in your space.

00:12:08.985 --> 00:12:17.969
But what about, kind of, as the relationship was building, what were some of the things going on in the mental space about that?

00:12:18.650 --> 00:12:21.801
Yeah, I well, I'm going to say this.

00:12:21.801 --> 00:12:30.585
And, baby, if you think we need to edit this out, we can, but I in the beginning, um, he, he, we didn't.

00:12:30.585 --> 00:12:33.726
We, we didn't know if he was going to be here permanently.

00:12:33.726 --> 00:12:37.648
Like it was, it was a shared situation, like it was more of on a schedule.

00:12:37.648 --> 00:12:47.393
Right, honestly, I didn't have any apprehension, because it really was, because I do work with kids and I knew immediately.

00:12:47.393 --> 00:12:57.977
I had no apprehension about connecting with them, partly because I'm just comfortable with kids, and I knew that the only thing I was apprehensive of was like, I mean, I'm my best comfort level is like teenagers.

00:13:02.080 --> 00:13:03.403
He was seven and I knew I was going to have to like my energy.

00:13:03.423 --> 00:13:06.249
You know what I'm saying Like I was going to have to play and like I was like I don't know what else to do with play.

00:13:06.249 --> 00:13:07.793
And I think that was the thing.

00:13:07.793 --> 00:13:16.460
I just, when I come around, I just play, and Ty, he would be like you can't, he's going to like run over you.

00:13:16.460 --> 00:13:18.663
You can't like keep doing that.

00:13:18.663 --> 00:13:20.745
And I was like it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

00:13:20.745 --> 00:13:29.995
And so I just play because I want to connect with them, and I felt like I could do that because it wasn't a permanent, everyday situation.

00:13:30.880 --> 00:13:33.485
You know, I would see him mostly on the weekends.

00:13:33.485 --> 00:13:55.890
We'd be together doing stuff and I could go hard, right, because then I was coming back home and I was, and I was, you know, before we found out that he was going to stay here in Memphis with us.

00:13:55.890 --> 00:14:00.625
In my mind it was just going to be that same thing, same pattern right, Go hard for a little bit and then rest, you know.

00:14:00.625 --> 00:14:03.773
And so I didn't have that branch and I said I could do that.

00:14:03.773 --> 00:14:07.066
I kind of do that now, right, with people that'm with.

00:14:07.066 --> 00:14:10.893
We go hard, they go home, we go hard, they go home.

00:14:10.893 --> 00:14:12.221
Right, and that was my.

00:14:12.221 --> 00:14:13.546
It was like I could do that all day.

00:14:13.546 --> 00:14:15.894
I think the apprehension came.

00:14:15.894 --> 00:14:29.846
Apprehension may be a strong word, but I didn't realize I had to rethink this when it was oh, he's going to live, he's going to be here, right.

00:14:29.846 --> 00:14:46.034
Um, that's a different energy, and that because my life wasn't set up, to be totally honest, to have a child Just just to be honest and to piggyback off what you just said, neither was mine.

00:14:47.544 --> 00:14:49.289
He came for spring break and he never left.

00:14:49.289 --> 00:14:53.860
I don't think he's looking for gold to grab his clothes, and I had a one bedroom apartment.

00:14:53.860 --> 00:15:06.067
You know, and I think this is what I love about her we made it work, she jumped right in.

00:15:06.067 --> 00:15:07.840
It was was very, very helpful.

00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:09.668
It was very beneficial.

00:15:09.668 --> 00:15:12.918
We're ever grateful for that.

00:15:13.881 --> 00:15:16.028
Oh, that's beautiful, Ty, that's absolutely beautiful.

00:15:16.028 --> 00:15:20.652
You said more beautiful words than Ruth Abigail and I wanted to give y'all just plans.

00:15:20.652 --> 00:15:35.644
But you know, I think that that's something, that's something really to consider, because one, when we think about being a bonus parent, right, especially depending on the situation, it can fluctuate.

00:15:35.644 --> 00:15:48.293
Yeah, right, at one moment you're the fun weekend parent and you know you were, you were probably going to do something fun on weekend anyway, you know that's not necessarily you bringing them into your everyday world.

00:15:48.293 --> 00:16:04.085
That is you being like hey, you know, because I only have you for three days, you know we're going to eat out, we're going to go do something fun, we're going to watch movies, we're going to play, and you're not even going to really think about it and you're not even going to really think about it.

00:16:04.105 --> 00:16:25.831
But when it comes to, like, really having to settle into this idea of I'm going to be raising this kid, right, ruth, I'm really interested, as you were thinking through, because, right, so you move from I'm the fun, I'm the fun, you know, bonus person in your life.

00:16:25.831 --> 00:16:28.566
Right, like I'm, I'm a, I'm a fun addition.

00:16:28.566 --> 00:16:36.751
You know, like, like Velcro, me on for the weekends, and then you know, just, you know, take that right on off.

00:16:36.751 --> 00:17:01.014
You know, when the week comes, when you realize that it was about to switch, what things did you have to do internally, kind of like mentally and emotionally, as well as externally, as far as like organizing or reorganizing your life to make space inside of you for parenthood?

00:17:02.741 --> 00:17:03.384
Excellent question.

00:17:03.384 --> 00:17:05.303
I'm good at what I do.

00:17:05.303 --> 00:17:14.740
I see that, so I I didn't have a lot of time to figure it out, which I actually, in hindsight, am.

00:17:14.740 --> 00:17:15.603
I am grateful for that.

00:17:15.603 --> 00:17:16.806
I think I would have overthought it.

00:17:16.806 --> 00:17:22.221
And so Ty tells me I overthink things, which he's not wrong, and I think I would have overthought.

00:17:22.221 --> 00:17:26.164
I would have overthought it wrong and I think I would have overthought.

00:17:26.164 --> 00:17:27.506
I would have overthought it Right.

00:17:27.506 --> 00:17:44.621
And so, okay, all the faces, um, uh, so I, when we found out it was two days before our wedding day, uh, two or three days a day before the rehearsal dinner, yes, that Thursday, so that we found out he was going to stay Our.

00:17:44.681 --> 00:17:46.282
The plan was for him to.

00:17:46.282 --> 00:17:54.553
We were going to drive him back to Georgia in a few days, right.

00:17:55.713 --> 00:17:57.276
We was going to drive him back on the 7th.

00:17:58.200 --> 00:18:04.806
Yeah that's right, and go to leave there and go to our honeymoon and go to our honeymoon right, and so that was our plan, okay, so wait, just for the timeline purpose.

00:18:04.746 --> 00:18:05.454
Y'all got married August 5, honeymoon, right, right, and so that was our plan.

00:18:05.454 --> 00:18:05.980
Okay, so wait, just for the timeline purpose.

00:18:05.980 --> 00:18:08.162
Y'all got married on the 5th August.

00:18:08.162 --> 00:18:15.667
5th, right, right, so August 3rd you found out, yes, he was going to be staying, that's right.

00:18:15.928 --> 00:18:18.933
Yeah, that's right, right, the fourth.

00:18:18.933 --> 00:18:22.085
The fourth was the rehearsal dinner.

00:18:22.085 --> 00:18:30.209
It was the day before that, that Thursday, and so we so, yeah, we found out.

00:18:30.209 --> 00:18:40.528
And then he had school that seventh, which is a Monday, so he was going to be in school in Georgia.

00:18:40.528 --> 00:18:43.645
Okay, that's where we were taking him to.

00:18:43.645 --> 00:18:48.343
Well, when it flipped, we didn't find out, so we had to just pivot.

00:18:48.343 --> 00:18:51.854
I mean, fast, right, everything changed that weekend.

00:18:52.516 --> 00:19:04.788
Um the night of our wedding changed that weekend, you know, um, our, our whole world shifted and both of our world shifted Right, like, like he was, I mean so.

00:19:04.788 --> 00:19:11.612
So I think the blessing in that was we both had to figure things out together, um, pretty quickly.

00:19:11.612 --> 00:19:12.614
So that was.

00:19:12.614 --> 00:19:13.942
I think that was a blessing.

00:19:13.942 --> 00:19:25.798
I think, on my end, I'm a problem solver by nature, so I was just in problem solving mode Okay, we just got thrown a wrench, let's go Like it wasn't even a.

00:19:25.798 --> 00:19:31.329
I wasn't thinking about how it was affecting me, or emotional, like what am I doing?

00:19:31.329 --> 00:19:44.551
I didn't think about that until maybe a couple of weeks in and I think, and, babe, you can, you know, you could kind of share your side on this.

00:19:44.551 --> 00:20:05.010
I was really, um, I think the thing that I was the most concerned about was whether or not I would have time or energy to actually be a parent, because my life was revolved around work and by being totally honest, my, you know, my world was work.

00:20:05.010 --> 00:20:06.392
If I'm being totally honest, my world was.

00:20:06.412 --> 00:20:17.655
I was moving, I had a pace that at the time, I wasn't sure if I could slow down enough to be a good wife and mother.

00:20:17.655 --> 00:20:18.480
You know what I mean.

00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:26.226
So you were already mentally making preparations to budget your time and your energy to be a wife.

00:20:26.226 --> 00:20:34.308
How did that, you know, with such a quick transition, how did you then kind of pivot to having to reorganize yourself to be both?

00:20:35.371 --> 00:20:36.333
Yeah, okay.

00:20:36.333 --> 00:20:53.688
So what our original plan and correct me if I'm wrong was he like he was going to go and kind of work on a project and be back and forth and kind of you know doing?

00:20:53.708 --> 00:21:01.491
a lot of land development, you know that, things like that and so he was going to be back and forth, I was going to keep doing so.

00:21:01.571 --> 00:21:13.409
We had kind of negotiated that we, these first few years were going to be a lot of movement for both of us because we were really working towards stuff, and so we were going to have the freedom and flexibility to do that.

00:21:13.409 --> 00:21:27.340
And so what you know, as far as me being a wife was concerned, we kind of worked that out right, like we knew, cause we're both very um, you know we're both very, you know we're hard workers, we're goal oriented, and we knew what we wanted to be.

00:21:27.340 --> 00:21:29.345
And so we started off like that.

00:21:29.345 --> 00:21:36.482
And then we had a child and you can't move like that with a child, so like.

00:21:36.482 --> 00:21:58.990
So it just it really kind of slowed us both down, it slowed the plan down, and so I think that because we had communicated so well as to what we wanted to do as a married couple, we were good, like my life wasn't going to shift that much in the next couple of years because we had a plan.

00:21:58.990 --> 00:21:59.833
Is that accurate, babe?

00:22:04.101 --> 00:22:10.786
Yes, yes, I would say so, definitely.

00:22:10.786 --> 00:22:25.173
I mean, uh, you know, from my point of view and I can speak for my looking, you know, speak for my looking to you I think you, you made a huge sacrifice in what you did.

00:22:25.173 --> 00:22:34.291
It was okay for it to be wrong with me and I had to make some changes, but you had to make more than me.

00:22:34.291 --> 00:22:36.749
You took it in stride.

00:22:36.749 --> 00:22:47.549
Thankfully, I never forget our wedding day or was it the fourth or something like that.

00:22:47.549 --> 00:22:49.173
I think it was the fourth baby.

00:22:49.173 --> 00:22:54.344
When we found out he was staying, I said, hey, he's going to have a stay.

00:22:54.344 --> 00:23:05.196
Okay, let's get it set up, get him registered in school, let's grab him some clothes, grab him things he needs and let's get it going.

00:23:05.196 --> 00:23:07.819
It him registered in school, grab him some clothes, grab him things he needs and let's get it going.

00:23:07.941 --> 00:23:20.464
And it's like, right at that moment, we went from Planning a honeymoon Dropping him off, planning a honeymoon Wanting to relax, to boom okay, dead in the water.

00:23:20.464 --> 00:23:22.685
We can't go, we gotta change this.

00:23:22.685 --> 00:23:23.625
This is the plan.

00:23:23.625 --> 00:23:24.048
So let's execute.

00:23:24.048 --> 00:23:24.432
In the water.

00:23:24.432 --> 00:23:24.733
We can't go.

00:23:24.733 --> 00:23:25.196
We gotta change this.

00:23:25.196 --> 00:23:28.289
This is the plan, so let's execute.

00:23:28.289 --> 00:23:38.788
And it flowed so smoothly that it seemed like it was planned and it was all because of her and that was a blessing.

00:23:38.788 --> 00:23:43.167
We got things done and it would have took two weeks.

00:23:43.167 --> 00:23:44.285
We got it done in a day.

00:23:45.782 --> 00:23:47.092
We got it done in a day.

00:23:47.092 --> 00:23:48.279
We got it done in a day.

00:23:48.279 --> 00:23:58.248
No, I definitely remember y'all running around and that school thing was the fun yeah it was a fun piece.

00:23:58.259 --> 00:24:01.882
I remember I was in Walmart buying school supplies right after the wedding.

00:24:01.882 --> 00:24:04.259
Buying school supplies right after the wedding.

00:24:04.259 --> 00:24:09.846
And somebody was pushing the buggy and they backed up.

00:24:10.240 --> 00:24:10.563
I'm like.

00:24:10.984 --> 00:24:15.526
Ty what you doing in here buying school supplies.

00:24:15.526 --> 00:24:16.609
You just got married.

00:24:16.609 --> 00:24:18.827
It was Candace.

00:24:18.827 --> 00:24:20.449
It was Candace.

00:24:20.449 --> 00:24:23.509
Oh, that's right she did.

00:24:23.509 --> 00:24:24.882
She did buy school supplies.

00:24:24.882 --> 00:24:25.442
Candace goes to the.

00:24:25.442 --> 00:24:26.967
That's right she did.

00:24:26.967 --> 00:24:28.309
Candace goes to the church.

00:24:28.410 --> 00:24:29.393
That's exactly right.

00:24:31.380 --> 00:24:34.903
Now that is hilarious, Ty.

00:24:34.903 --> 00:24:41.130
You said something interesting when you were giving yet another beautiful tribute to Ruth Abigail.

00:24:41.901 --> 00:24:42.503
Let's just say this.

00:24:42.503 --> 00:24:45.884
Let's say it.

00:24:45.884 --> 00:24:46.547
Let's say it.

00:24:46.547 --> 00:24:53.965
He's way better at words of affirmation than I am.

00:24:53.965 --> 00:24:58.803
He is much sweeter with his words and his tone and all that.

00:24:58.803 --> 00:25:04.182
He just is, which is why we work so well, because I'm not as Listen.

00:25:04.883 --> 00:25:10.824
Ty, somebody had to take up the mantle that the rest of us gave up on, ok, we.

00:25:10.824 --> 00:25:30.387
You made the point that, ruth Abigail, you felt like she sacrificed more than you did, and when you said that, the thought just kind of crossed on my mind, ran across my mind, that you know, like you had had, you know, your son at that point for seven years.

00:25:30.387 --> 00:25:53.086
You know he was part of your life and even though, because you know, we just talked about how you weren't necessarily ready to be full-time custodial parent either, right, and so what things about bringing on full time parenthood for both of you, do you feel like you also had to sacrifice?

00:25:53.086 --> 00:26:07.015
Because it sounds like, because, like, you're taking on, like this kind of sense of responsibility of like this is my kid and I brought this kid into the relationship, and so you felt more responsible.

00:26:11.339 --> 00:26:18.942
So you look at the levels of sacrifice a little bit differently sacrifice in terms of like with me and her relationship, or just like, just like let's go for both.

00:26:18.942 --> 00:26:30.550
It sounds like you got some thoughts okay, um, uh, well, when it, when it came to me, uh, it was just more, so I had to change the things that I was I was doing.

00:26:31.092 --> 00:26:44.711
Uh, I had to make a lot of changes in terms of, you know, from cost of my I spend my money, to how I spend my time, to when I can go out on the road, to just everything.

00:26:44.711 --> 00:26:48.414
I did Like I had to change it because now it's just you know, I'm about you.

00:26:50.221 --> 00:26:51.786
You have a child with you now.

00:26:51.786 --> 00:26:56.143
It's not over the phone anymore, it's not.

00:26:56.143 --> 00:26:58.576
You know you stand the weekend and you know it's over that phone.

00:26:58.576 --> 00:26:58.989
It's not over the phone anymore, it's not.

00:26:58.989 --> 00:27:00.065
You know he's staying the weekend and you know so that's all.

00:27:00.065 --> 00:27:01.444
He's a Jew now.

00:27:03.444 --> 00:27:10.564
So I had to change a lot, but it was for the better, though the changes I made.

00:27:10.564 --> 00:27:14.153
Some of the stuff that I had to change I needed to change.

00:27:14.153 --> 00:27:15.724
I started looking at it.

00:27:15.724 --> 00:27:18.407
I'm glad I made the changes.

00:27:18.407 --> 00:27:24.888
It made me a better person At least I feel like I did and I got him here with me.

00:27:24.888 --> 00:27:28.519
That was awesome.

00:27:28.519 --> 00:27:34.176
Now, when it comes to the relationship, I think it was just more so trying to find that balance.

00:27:34.176 --> 00:27:49.619
More so trying to find that balance where you know you're not you're, you're sharing your time, equally, you're showing you know him love and not letting her and vice versa.

00:27:49.619 --> 00:27:52.267
I think that that was like the biggest thing.

00:27:52.267 --> 00:28:03.911
But once, once that came like I'm an easy going guy, so you know it's not too much that I can't change.

00:28:03.911 --> 00:28:11.769
I don't need to do this for the sake of all of us hanging out together, finding time for everyone.

00:28:13.625 --> 00:28:16.186
It wasn't bad.

00:28:16.186 --> 00:28:20.950
I know that, like I said, I'm not trying to keep.

00:28:21.942 --> 00:28:23.327
It's all right, give her one more, one more.

00:28:23.327 --> 00:28:24.221
It was just.

00:28:25.467 --> 00:28:28.449
Yeah, yeah, one out of a thousand.

00:28:28.449 --> 00:28:31.867
That's so sweet, but it was just more so about her.

00:28:31.867 --> 00:29:00.569
It's about, you know, like she took in a whole other child, and a whole another child is a entirely piece of responsibility and I don't know the statistics of it, but that doesn't go well like that, and especially at such short notice, and you know we had totally different plans.

00:29:00.569 --> 00:29:06.068
She sacrificed more, so we're just grateful for that.

00:29:06.068 --> 00:29:24.288
And then it worked right, like the sacrifices I made, the sacrifices she made, you know, even with him, and like we find happiness in the sacrifices we made to spend time with each other, and it's been very beneficial.

00:29:24.288 --> 00:29:27.282
We play Uno at night, you know.

00:29:27.282 --> 00:29:31.108
We play games at night, you know just that bonding time.

00:29:31.108 --> 00:29:56.667
Sometimes we sit down and, you know, watch a movie or eat dinner together, just being each other's presence, and that's so much better than going out of service at times, or just hanging out with a bunch of guys or whatever, and it's like I find solace in being in the soul.

00:29:57.759 --> 00:30:05.473
It all boils down to the sacrifices that were made Mainly because Can I say yeah, can I say this?

00:30:05.473 --> 00:30:09.885
He still goes to the cigar bar, though he still hangs out with his guys.

00:30:10.441 --> 00:30:15.888
I still hang out with people, you know, and I still do things that I that I do.

00:30:15.888 --> 00:30:16.791
I've, you know.

00:30:16.791 --> 00:30:18.921
I've just came from out of town with a family trip.

00:30:18.921 --> 00:30:23.930
I was in Greenville with y'all Right, and so we have still.

00:30:23.930 --> 00:30:36.163
I think the beauty of being on the same page has been we've been able to allow each other to still have our life because we.

00:30:36.163 --> 00:30:43.710
One thing that I appreciate about him that I feel like I had to really, um, now I'm going to toot his horn because he doesn't.

00:30:43.710 --> 00:30:44.811
I'm going to toot his horn.

00:30:44.811 --> 00:30:46.903
Yeah, you owe him you owe him at least one.

00:30:47.124 --> 00:30:49.171
Yeah, yeah, yeah, get in there.

00:30:50.641 --> 00:31:02.976
So one thing I really appreciate about him, uh, is that he refused to allow me to totally neglect things that I came in with.

00:31:02.976 --> 00:31:06.525
He wouldn't let me do it right.

00:31:06.885 --> 00:31:13.163
Whether it's my work, my relationships, the activities I like to do, my me time, all of that.

00:31:13.163 --> 00:31:26.462
He insisted that I keep it and it took me a minute to believe that he really meant that and I think that was a lot of the anxiety I had in the beginning, probably for the first year or so.

00:31:26.462 --> 00:31:53.565
I would try to overcompensate because I was like you know I'm, you know I would tell him I will be home, you know, earlier than I normally am, and make sure that I'm gonna cook and do all the things I felt like I was supposed to do and you know I wanted that was a struggle you know like because, because, truth be told, that was hard for me, a lot to you.

00:31:54.086 --> 00:32:06.134
it was hard and I tried to overcompensate and I felt like I was failing because I couldn't be all in as a parent the way I saw it Right.

00:32:06.776 --> 00:32:08.656
Oh and so.

00:32:10.140 --> 00:32:11.787
Or just like with the marriage time.

00:32:11.787 --> 00:32:17.450
Yeah, in general like the marriage time, and she would always, would always.

00:32:17.450 --> 00:32:19.294
Maybe I'm gonna be late tonight.

00:32:19.314 --> 00:32:25.109
I apologize, okay I'm starting to get like sarcastic with her.

00:32:25.269 --> 00:32:29.463
You know, just like I'm, I'm done with this, like he would.

00:32:29.523 --> 00:32:33.741
He would be like I don't, fine, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, you know, and all this stuff.

00:32:33.741 --> 00:32:36.247
I'll be like what you, you know, don we, you know?

00:32:36.247 --> 00:32:38.593
But like we, I had to.

00:32:38.593 --> 00:32:46.193
I had to believe that he actually was for me continuing to be me.

00:32:46.193 --> 00:32:55.734
You know what I mean, and that is a gift and I that's an amazing gift to having a husband.

00:32:56.320 --> 00:32:57.683
No, I love that.

00:32:57.683 --> 00:32:58.907
Good job, ruth, abigail.

00:32:58.907 --> 00:32:59.588
We're proud of you.

00:32:59.588 --> 00:33:00.491
Thank you very much.

00:33:00.491 --> 00:33:19.068
I had a thought, though, as you were talking, because for me, as you were talking about kind of like what you were trying to do, where were you pulling this model of this is who I'm supposed to be, because you didn't come from a blended family.

00:33:19.068 --> 00:33:36.509
No, so when you think about your own parenting style, how are you bringing in your own experiences with kind of this new world of blended life, like how are you trying to kind of merge those?

00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:39.066
Well, I think that's the thing.

00:33:39.066 --> 00:33:49.315
Like, I didn't come from a blended situation, so I I'm only pulling from my mother and what she did and my mom.

00:33:50.942 --> 00:33:54.807
She was, you know, at the top of her career when she had kids.

00:33:54.807 --> 00:34:14.853
She, she left that entirely Right and um, that, that, and then she, so she devoted all her time to being at the house and um, doing all the doing the laundry, doing the, you know, cooking every night, um, doing pickups, all the things I don't do every night.

00:34:14.853 --> 00:34:22.369
And it bothered me, right, it bothered me so much and I was like, I don't know every night, and it bothered me, right, it bothered me so much and I was like I don't know how to fulfill this.

00:34:22.369 --> 00:34:26.266
Well, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

00:34:26.266 --> 00:34:41.773
Wow, and he and he, he was right, and so it was just, it was and, and, and I had to accept, and he has helped me to accept number one, this role thing, which I didn't even realize was going to be a thing, honestly, for me.

00:34:41.773 --> 00:34:47.590
But this role thing was a thing for me, like, no, no, no, this is what I'm supposed to do as the wife, right, is this, this and that?

00:34:47.590 --> 00:34:59.396
And so I and he has helped me to realize where partners I like, where, where I am in my life, and my schedule is much more flexible than yours.

00:34:59.396 --> 00:35:00.922
So I'm going to take this.

00:35:00.922 --> 00:35:02.806
This is my job, not yours.

00:35:02.806 --> 00:35:05.253
Right For right now, you know what I mean.

00:35:05.659 --> 00:35:09.047
Like so it's like okay, but I didn't believe him.

00:35:09.047 --> 00:35:12.463
Honestly, I'll be honest, I don't know if he's ever heard me say this before.

00:35:12.463 --> 00:35:19.155
I really thought I was like, if I, if, if I keep doing this, I don't think he's going to want to stick around for that.

00:35:19.155 --> 00:35:28.143
Like I'm thinking, like there's no way that this man is going to be okay with me going all in with what he's telling me to go all in with, if I like.

00:35:28.143 --> 00:35:30.550
Continue to pursue what you're doing, you know.

00:35:30.550 --> 00:35:32.286
Continue to run the organization.

00:35:32.286 --> 00:35:33.885
Well, continue to go out and do you?

00:35:33.885 --> 00:35:36.784
Nah, you don't mean that I'm going to lose you.

00:35:36.784 --> 00:35:37.706
I thought I was.

00:35:37.706 --> 00:35:39.309
I really that was in my mind.

00:35:41.532 --> 00:35:55.623
Ty, I'm interested in knowing because, as Ruth Abigail is just talking about just kind of the man, the husband and the father that you are, where did this value system come from?

00:35:55.623 --> 00:35:57.240
Because there's not a.

00:35:57.240 --> 00:36:11.001
You know, every, every marriage is different, every couple is different and everybody brings kind of a different perspective to it, but all men are not like hey, you know what I'm saying, just work it out, you know.

00:36:11.001 --> 00:36:19.391
You know, do what you do, you know, keep all the things that are important to you, like where, how, how did you learn that value system?

00:36:22.079 --> 00:36:29.512
I think growing up, growing up and watch how my mom and dad operated.

00:36:29.512 --> 00:36:35.331
We kind of grew up in the same household.

00:36:35.331 --> 00:36:37.666
That's how I say it.

00:36:37.666 --> 00:36:41.911
My dad did all the work and then the mom.

00:36:42.112 --> 00:36:43.858
She ran the house and we grew up like that.

00:36:43.858 --> 00:36:58.369
But also I grew up seeing like how my dad he wasn't my mom and my dad, they wasn't like both type people Like when it came to their relationship they gave each other their space.

00:36:58.369 --> 00:37:00.432
They did that.

00:37:00.432 --> 00:37:06.746
And I met you on the force.

00:37:06.746 --> 00:37:15.827
I know who you are and I love that about you.

00:37:16.840 --> 00:37:27.603
So for me to do anything than to stop stopping you from doing what you love is not who I am.

00:37:27.603 --> 00:37:34.547
I'm not a I'm not a overprotective, overbearing type of person.

00:37:34.547 --> 00:37:37.429
I'm not a jealous person in a bad way.

00:37:37.429 --> 00:37:40.226
I'm not like that.

00:37:40.226 --> 00:37:41.463
And I get.

00:37:41.463 --> 00:37:47.148
It gets me up to see my lady go home.

00:37:47.148 --> 00:37:50.786
That's so precious it gets me.

00:37:50.786 --> 00:37:56.003
It makes it just brings a sense of pride and I love that and it motivates me.

00:37:56.003 --> 00:37:56.748
And so, hey, do your thing.

00:37:56.748 --> 00:37:58.358
A sense of pride and I love that and it motivates me.

00:37:58.358 --> 00:38:00.887
And so, hey, do your thing.

00:38:00.887 --> 00:38:04.143
You know, hey, if you gotta stay out late, go ahead.

00:38:04.143 --> 00:38:11.289
I know what you got, I know what it takes and anything I can help you with.

00:38:11.289 --> 00:38:12.485
Whatever.

00:38:12.485 --> 00:38:17.942
Like, do that because of you know we're trying to scale this thing in order to scale it.

00:38:17.942 --> 00:38:18.965
We can't sit home.

00:38:18.965 --> 00:38:34.130
We can't miss things or not checking all the boxes, gotten all the I's crossing all the T's and this is what it takes and I'm for that and I love it and I love that you like that.

00:38:35.315 --> 00:38:37.387
No, I always joke about it.

00:38:37.387 --> 00:38:38.021
I was like baby.

00:38:38.021 --> 00:38:38.565
I'd have checked my I's.

00:38:38.565 --> 00:38:39.050
I always joke about it.

00:38:39.050 --> 00:38:39.472
I was like baby.

00:38:39.472 --> 00:38:40.217
I ought to change my life.

00:38:40.217 --> 00:38:41.644
I would have been.

00:38:41.644 --> 00:38:46.242
You ever met a gardener who did it?

00:38:46.242 --> 00:38:47.025
Patty the Bill, I don't know.

00:38:55.141 --> 00:38:55.885
Wait a minute.

00:38:55.885 --> 00:38:57.864
Wait a minute, I was not ready.

00:38:57.864 --> 00:38:59.954
Not, I was not ready.

00:39:01.224 --> 00:39:02.748
I was not ready.

00:39:04.994 --> 00:39:09.760
That's hilarious we say that.

00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:11.052
But it's just like.

00:39:11.052 --> 00:39:17.903
It just shows like you know, I'm all in for you and I know the drive that you have, I love it.

00:39:17.903 --> 00:39:20.128
You gotta go places.

00:39:20.128 --> 00:39:22.996
You gotta go for you, and I know the drive that you have, I love it.

00:39:22.996 --> 00:39:23.818
You got to go places.

00:39:23.818 --> 00:39:27.659
You got to go, we got to do, we got to go hang out with your friend, who deserves it.

00:39:27.659 --> 00:39:31.126
I used to tell her quit telling me what you're doing.

00:39:31.588 --> 00:39:31.989
He did.

00:39:34.023 --> 00:39:34.806
Just do it.

00:39:34.806 --> 00:39:37.322
She would get a little rival.

00:39:37.322 --> 00:39:40.628
You should know I know what you're doing.

00:39:40.628 --> 00:39:44.206
I know you don't.

00:39:44.206 --> 00:39:50.507
Don't feel like you gotta you know, just I don't know.

00:39:50.688 --> 00:40:05.092
Let me, I'm not right here on giving you your space and I trust you can I say, like everything he's saying and this, this, this is not a relationship conversation, but I do think it matters.

00:40:05.092 --> 00:40:14.965
Like the things that I was doing were things that I was told to do by people I trust and people who were giving me kind of like bad advice, which I don't think is bad advice.

00:40:14.965 --> 00:40:22.505
But I think then you have to like I didn't marry men, I married a man, right.

00:40:22.505 --> 00:40:28.702
So you can't, you can't put what people have experienced with men on your man.

00:40:28.702 --> 00:40:29.403
It doesn't work.

00:40:29.403 --> 00:40:32.831
And so then I had to say, okay, I hear all that.

00:40:32.831 --> 00:40:43.994
But then I hear what my man is saying, oh, okay, and I it's like, am I going to pay attention to what they're saying about their experiences or what he's saying about him?

00:40:43.994 --> 00:40:54.760
And I had to decide, yeah, and it took me about a year to decide Like I'm going to believe him, but you know, and nobody's wrong.

00:40:55.001 --> 00:40:55.362
Yeah.

00:40:55.461 --> 00:40:57.724
I'm sorry, go ahead, nobody's wrong.

00:40:57.724 --> 00:40:59.865
You just have to go with what works for you.

00:40:59.865 --> 00:41:06.271
If that works for us, then what we're doing works for us, so be it.

00:41:06.271 --> 00:41:09.735
Whatever works for anybody else, it works.

00:41:09.735 --> 00:41:12.577
It's not a right or wrong, it's just what works for you.

00:41:12.577 --> 00:41:16.625
Either one of them would work for us.

00:41:16.625 --> 00:41:26.170
But I know that what she's trying to accomplish, the things that was told to her, we got to pull together and do them.

00:41:26.170 --> 00:41:35.568
And I don't mind washing the clothes, cleaning the house or if I'm home you know I got a lot of free time, that's my job.

00:41:35.648 --> 00:41:41.025
And I don't mind cooking, I don't mind Listen y'all Facebook dating folks, facebook dating.

00:41:42.288 --> 00:41:42.748
That's it.

00:41:44.273 --> 00:42:21.820
Okay, we got to talk about the kid, all right, because that's what we came here to do, but I think the foundation that you guys have I think it's so important to highlight that because if you bring when we talk about a blended family if you bring the kid into a situation where you don't have understanding of who that person is and you're not 100% for each other, then that's know, that biological parent really gets split.

00:42:21.820 --> 00:42:40.943
Because I mean, honestly, ty, you know, tyson was in your life first and there are a lot of parents, especially moms right, who are like I go 100 for my kid and you're and you're the add-on Instead of it being.

00:42:40.943 --> 00:42:48.467
We do this 100% together and we have this Sorry, you know the scripture, we have this ministry.

00:42:48.467 --> 00:42:49.945
Huh, it was right there.

00:42:49.945 --> 00:42:59.911
It was like, hey, you don't want to holler this one out and I do, but there is a we, not a I and a you.

00:43:00.380 --> 00:43:28.123
There's a we that has this and what I heard from Ty is that there are things that he is so careful to protect in you because it's also helping to maintain the we, like who you are, is building him up and is bringing the cohesion for y'all's union that helps you guys to continue to parent this amazing kid Right, ruth?

00:43:28.123 --> 00:43:35.335
I, I want to know because, again, you went from being the fun weekend parent to the you know, did you brush your teeth?

00:43:35.335 --> 00:43:36.121
You know?

00:43:36.121 --> 00:43:37.166
Did you do your homework?

00:43:37.166 --> 00:43:41.168
You know, did you do your homework, you know, and all of the things.

00:43:41.168 --> 00:43:58.855
So I'm wondering what has it been like and what have you learned about building that parental not a cool adult, but a parental relationship with the young guy?

00:44:00.400 --> 00:44:25.168
I watched Ty a lot and I mimicked a lot of what he was doing because he had been that for a year and a half, and so, once I got over my insecurities of making that transition, I just started watching him and you know, I had to find my own flavor.

00:44:25.168 --> 00:44:32.809
But I I think like one of the things was like okay, the first thing that I feel like I had to really fix is the play thing.

00:44:32.809 --> 00:44:33.250
Right.

00:44:33.250 --> 00:44:37.346
So like I couldn't, I couldn't keep that up every day.

00:44:37.346 --> 00:44:47.152
Like I, I walk in yeah, we old you know what I'm saying Like he's on all the time, not this middle adult life.

00:44:47.981 --> 00:44:56.545
So like I walk in from work, miss Abby, and he'll run and jump on me, which is really sweet, and it's like, oh, this is awesome.

00:44:56.545 --> 00:45:07.806
And then, but it's like you know, six, 37, and it'd be like, okay, but, and then he'll keep jumping Right and keep jumping and then pull me to go, like, can we do this?

00:45:07.806 --> 00:45:08.969
Oh, can we do this, can we do that?

00:45:08.969 --> 00:45:10.360
You want to play with me, you want to draw, you want to do all this.

00:45:10.360 --> 00:45:14.867
And I had to gain the courage to say, nah, buddy, not right now.

00:45:14.867 --> 00:45:27.922
I'm tired and not feel like I was being, you know, a bad, a bad parent.

00:45:27.922 --> 00:45:29.347
Um, and I cause I felt like I had more ground to make up right.

00:45:29.367 --> 00:45:30.670
I had to prove that I wanted him here, kind of thing.

00:45:30.690 --> 00:45:32.396
And I didn't want him to feel like so that those were.

00:45:32.619 --> 00:45:40.025
But I I had to realize, and Ty would just remind me a lot like he loves you, he knows you love him.

00:45:41.342 --> 00:45:44.688
You got to rest, you don't have to prove yourself so much.

00:45:46.088 --> 00:46:05.786
But it took me a minute and so I think I watched him, you know, separate and he would do a really good job, and still does, when he and I are talking right and we're hanging out and he comes in and he, you know, he wants to be the center of attention because he I are talking right and we're hanging out and he comes in and he wants to be the center of attention because he's a child, right, and most children want to be the center of attention when they feel like it.

00:46:05.786 --> 00:46:16.282
And he'll say, hold on, buddy, we talking, you come back in a minute, and for a while, like I would feel completely, I would just shift and put my attention on him.

00:46:16.282 --> 00:46:38.492
But it's like I had to follow his, I had to follow Ty's lead to say, no, like you know, we're talking, wait, and you know, give us that time and space so that we could establish that separation sometimes and not feel bad, right, and not feel like I wasn't adequate in his life as a parent.

00:46:41.541 --> 00:46:43.925
We do the answer of your question.

00:46:43.925 --> 00:46:56.367
Like you know, the beginning of your question, when you was talking about the blended family thing, like you know, the mom goes from what you said like zero to a hundred about her kid and all of that.

00:46:56.367 --> 00:47:05.411
If, looking at this relationship and you didn't know us, you would think that she was his biological mother and I was the stepfather.

00:47:05.411 --> 00:47:15.048
Because Stop, like I mean it'd be crazy.

00:47:15.320 --> 00:47:21.005
Like he takes her side, she takes his side, not to a stepdad in your own home.

00:47:21.126 --> 00:47:22.708
No, oh what?

00:47:22.708 --> 00:47:30.706
Yes, yes, baby, you can't do this, you can't say this.

00:47:30.706 --> 00:47:37.572
Now, one thing I'm glad that she got out of is buttering him up.

00:47:37.572 --> 00:47:42.188
We've had conversations about that.

00:47:42.188 --> 00:47:51.090
I would get on to him about things only a man can do because he's a boy, and we got that straightened out.

00:47:51.090 --> 00:47:53.789
So she has quit that, thankfully.

00:47:53.789 --> 00:48:03.001
But it'd be terrible at times, like, uh, one time I got on two women I think I had to.

00:48:03.001 --> 00:48:14.610
She sat me down and gave me this long speech and I just had to just go in there and apologize to her, even though I didn't want to.

00:48:14.610 --> 00:48:19.360
I had to and in hindsight, looking at it, it was relevant.

00:48:19.360 --> 00:48:22.655
It was relevant that time.

00:48:25.108 --> 00:48:46.585
But you know, it just goes to show that kids move off of they move off of, of love, energy, and I think with that she has won him over to the point where you wouldn't know.

00:48:46.967 --> 00:48:47.650
I love that.

00:48:48.721 --> 00:49:15.266
It's a father's child or anything, because of the love she's shown and that's been like that since day one and he would he would always have that with him and he would always be thankful and grateful for her she is that's so precious.

00:49:15.367 --> 00:49:18.548
Miss Abby, that is just adorable.

00:49:18.548 --> 00:49:46.039
I'm interested to know Ty, because you know he knows a world outside of y'all as parents what are kind of some of your considerations, anxieties, fears around him, kind of growing up in different environments, and how are you preparing for that?

00:49:48.650 --> 00:50:04.253
I think the one thing is we show him what a stable home is, and not only that, he has a community around him that loves him and they show him the same way.

00:50:04.713 --> 00:50:40.112
So I think those teachings, along with keeping a clear, open line of communication, allowing him to express himself to us without reprisal or repercussions and allowing us to give him the feedback that he needs, I think with that, keeping it Christian based as the foundation, with that having the community and all that, I think, outside of here, I think he's safeguarding.

00:50:40.112 --> 00:50:44.460
Now there are some things that he's just can't prepare for.

00:50:44.460 --> 00:51:05.617
I think if the basics like we've all come from a strong background right, like like some things like the world don't even affect us because of based off of our morals and values, like like how we grew up and all of that, like we're still covered with that now, true enough, there enough.

00:51:05.617 --> 00:51:18.155
There is some things that life gets in the way and you're going to have to figure it out on your own, but that core still there, that doesn't go anywhere and I lean on that.

00:51:19.771 --> 00:51:23.996
It worked for me, it worked for y'all.

00:51:23.996 --> 00:51:33.536
Y'all turned out pretty, pretty great, and your friends, and so I think, if we can stay within that, I think life is great.

00:51:33.675 --> 00:51:41.280
I'll let the world be the world that.

00:51:41.280 --> 00:51:53.387
You know, when we think about blended families, you know, and I do think that there there's some consideration, though that y'all got him, you know, at an age where you could still build foundation.

00:51:53.387 --> 00:52:39.070
You know it would have been very different if this was like a 16 or 17 year old, you know, and they'd be like you're not my mom, you know, like you know it, no-transcript to back.

00:52:39.070 --> 00:52:50.978
But you know, my mom got remarried, um, afterwards, and I remember, in being introduced to anytime there was a new person, whether it was on my mom's side, on my dad's side.

00:52:50.996 --> 00:53:11.394
You know, you go through this phase where they're like I want to take you shopping, I want to get you things, I want to do things for you, you know, and and having just kind of like those, those background conversations with them, of like those, those background conversations with them.

00:53:11.394 --> 00:53:17.681
But it took, it took something that I don't know that I ever really saw to, to say that those people were going to parent me, you know.

00:53:17.681 --> 00:53:24.304
And so you guys have done just a masterful job in what?

00:53:24.304 --> 00:53:27.771
Almost two years, yeah, are we coming up on two?

00:53:27.771 --> 00:53:28.755
I'm just coming up on two.

00:53:28.755 --> 00:53:29.759
Okay, I didn't.

00:53:32.394 --> 00:53:33.619
I was trying to figure out.

00:53:34.190 --> 00:53:35.275
Y'all got married in 23.

00:53:35.275 --> 00:53:36.353
Yeah, we've been.

00:53:36.353 --> 00:53:38.974
It's been two years marriage, but four years together.

00:53:39.235 --> 00:53:43.155
Yeah, oh, okay, got you.

00:53:43.871 --> 00:53:46.577
We had been together a year when he came Okay.

00:53:46.617 --> 00:53:47.201
Got you.

00:53:47.201 --> 00:53:48.389
We had been together a year when he came.

00:53:48.389 --> 00:54:12.547
Okay, okay, so so three years with with him around, but kind of almost to almost to like kind of just in this, like really foundational structured you know, like um, and so I'm interested, ruth Abigail, when you think about kind of.

00:54:12.547 --> 00:54:16.099
You know I'm not going to be that person and I've never been that person.

00:54:16.099 --> 00:54:19.596
I can honestly say this I ain't never asked you when you're going to have some kids.

00:54:19.996 --> 00:54:28.103
you know I haven't, I have never been that person, okay, I ain't never been over there like where the nieces and nephews at.

00:54:28.103 --> 00:54:40.083
But as you kind of think out into the future, you have a son.

00:54:40.083 --> 00:54:47.313
Now, right, I think you would say I have a son, I am a mom, I am a parent, I am, you know, a part of this.

00:54:47.313 --> 00:55:02.347
But when you think about kind of your hope for whatever else may come in the future, like what are some things that you consider about trying to build those relationships to make sure you know everybody has their space?

00:55:06.221 --> 00:55:06.802
Yeah, I a little bit.

00:55:06.822 --> 00:55:09.295
of it makes me nervous yeah you sound nervous.

00:55:12.715 --> 00:55:13.378
It makes me nervous.

00:55:13.378 --> 00:55:21.695
I'm not naive as to believe that it won't be different at some level.

00:55:21.695 --> 00:55:23.141
You know what I mean.

00:55:23.141 --> 00:55:24.536
I'm not naive about that.

00:55:24.536 --> 00:55:30.697
I think what I want to be sensitive about is that it doesn't feel different to him.

00:55:30.697 --> 00:55:35.856
Right, like I don't want, I never want him to feel like I.

00:55:35.856 --> 00:55:45.378
It's different because now I have a child that actually came from me, um, and I think that the, the way I think about it is like I.

00:55:45.458 --> 00:55:51.501
It is like I want him to be a part of the whole process as much as possible.

00:55:51.501 --> 00:55:52.786
Right, being transparent.

00:55:52.786 --> 00:55:59.528
This is what's happening, you know, getting excited about it and, like I was saying, like functioning as a unit around it.

00:55:59.528 --> 00:56:00.931
Right, like this is.

00:56:00.931 --> 00:56:17.940
And so I think that's even like randomly talking about it even now, right, um, just hey, dude, you know you'd be a really good big brother Right, to which he has said I don't want to be a brick brother, I want to be a little brother.

00:56:17.940 --> 00:56:19.356
I said, well, it's a little too late for that.

00:56:19.356 --> 00:56:33.880
We missed that, um, but I think, like just making those comments, and you know, I think I've asked him before like how would you feel about having a brother or sister set and he would have.

00:56:33.880 --> 00:56:40.150
He'll give his thoughts and I'll listen, right, and then you know he'll, we'll laugh about something or or whatever.

00:56:40.251 --> 00:56:52.659
So I think just keeping that um conversation open with him as well, and not like it's just a me and Ty thing and then he's over here and oh, look, look what happened.

00:56:52.659 --> 00:56:58.221
Look, now you have to adjust your life, no, like I want to be intentional about that.

00:56:58.221 --> 00:57:05.135
So I don't know, I think there's a lot of unknowns there and I don't know that I'll, I don't.

00:57:05.135 --> 00:57:07.481
We talk, you know, ty, and I talk all the time.

00:57:07.481 --> 00:57:10.891
I'm like number one there's never a right time, right, there's.

00:57:10.891 --> 00:57:12.516
No, there'll never be a right time.

00:57:12.516 --> 00:57:17.083
And so I think it's just a matter of you know when.

00:57:17.083 --> 00:57:40.085
And if it happens, we're just going to take it in stride, we're just going to do it right and figure it out, like we've been figuring other stuff out and we just kind of, you know, that's just what we have to do, um, but yeah, ty, when you think about hopes for the future and what does what you want this blended family to to grow into?

00:57:40.105 --> 00:57:42.289
um, what, what?

00:57:42.289 --> 00:57:42.951
What are you?

00:57:42.951 --> 00:57:47.623
What do you envision when you think 10 years down the line?

00:57:50.710 --> 00:58:16.902
I want our family to keep on the trajectory that it's going on, while working on some things that like building off of what our parents left, off of what they left us, and I think, like we both came from a great background.

00:58:16.902 --> 00:58:19.132
It wasn't broke.

00:58:19.132 --> 00:58:22.059
Like I said, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

00:58:22.320 --> 00:58:22.521
Yeah.

00:58:22.581 --> 00:58:33.949
Well, you can make it better, and I think we can uh just keep, keep trending up with that and just uh making the world better than what that's so precious.

00:58:33.949 --> 00:58:45.967
We can do that by controlling what we can control and that's uh giving our kids the foundation, what we had, and build off of that, and just keep this thing going.

00:58:45.967 --> 00:58:47.009
Just leave it.

00:58:47.009 --> 00:58:50.639
Better for the next generation I love it.

00:58:50.898 --> 00:58:54.768
I think, um, I think we kind of we really had a theme.

00:58:54.768 --> 00:59:00.621
You know, I think when you think about family just in general, you know it's generational.

00:59:00.621 --> 00:59:06.449
You know and you know you both, like you said, you both come from great families.

00:59:06.449 --> 00:59:09.260
You both had love in those families.

00:59:09.260 --> 00:59:19.635
You both saw parents who both operated in love and in collaboration with one another to build who you guys are today.

00:59:19.635 --> 00:59:29.981
Whether the family is blended or not, you have an opportunity to build something that your child, our children, are.

00:59:29.981 --> 00:59:32.521
You know, whatever y'all decide to do, but you have it.

00:59:32.521 --> 00:59:40.465
You have an opportunity to build something that one day they'll build on, um, and so I think it doesn't.

00:59:40.545 --> 00:59:41.887
I think it's important to know.

00:59:41.887 --> 00:59:44.907
You know I was, I was just talking with um, I was talking with.

00:59:44.907 --> 00:59:50.141
I think I was, I was just talking with, I was talking with I think it was you, ruth, and I was like you know, aunties really just don't get enough credit out here.

00:59:50.141 --> 00:59:55.684
You know, like I, my sister, had a baby and a lot of people around me had babies.

00:59:55.684 --> 01:00:06.900
So I'm like in auntie land right now and mother's day is coming up and I'm like this is a lot of pressure when the aunties day at, you know, but I am a.

01:00:06.900 --> 01:00:36.226
I am a person that will have an impact in the lives of these children, right, and so everybody that you invite into your community, whether it is a spouse that is not the biological parent, whether it's a sister, a brother, a friend, grandparents, you know, church members, school, everybody that you invite into that world you are inviting to build, to help you build the foundation for that child.

01:00:37.070 --> 01:00:44.083
And I think that if we look at blended families and see it as just that simple, I mean we could have got into the drama.

01:00:44.489 --> 01:00:52.858
You know there's going to be some drama, right, there's going to be, because blending everything don't always.

01:00:52.858 --> 01:00:55.844
Sometimes there's a little oil, there's a little vinegar in there.

01:00:55.844 --> 01:01:04.130
Everything don't always mix, yeah, you know, everything doesn't always, you know, come together, just right.

01:01:04.130 --> 01:01:42.824
You know, even as you guys were talking, you were talking in reflection mode, you know, but when you were kind of in the moment going through things, you weren't thinking, man, this is just all going to work out and I'm going to be a better person, you know, because of this and this is wow God really knows exactly what he's doing and I'm so grateful for this moment, you know, but I think hopefully it helps somebody to be able, now that you guys are kind of two years out, of kind of like the beginning of your parenthood journey together.

01:01:42.824 --> 01:01:57.581
Hopefully it helps somebody to understand that you know, while the moment may seem rocky at first, eventually you'll start to see what God has been, the stones God has been laying down for you that you can continue to build on.

01:01:58.222 --> 01:02:08.501
So and the one thing about that is you got to you got to want it to work.

01:02:08.501 --> 01:02:19.485
And if you both are on the same board and you want it to work, then there's a lot of things that's just not going to happen.

01:02:21.313 --> 01:02:22.878
It's not going to come into it.

01:02:22.878 --> 01:02:25.880
It's not going to come into it.

01:02:25.880 --> 01:02:36.420
There's things that probably would happen with somebody on his side of the family or a parent or auntie or whatever.

01:02:36.420 --> 01:02:37.693
She'll never know.

01:02:37.693 --> 01:02:45.418
Because I want it, it won't even get me to it, damn sure, because it's not going to.

01:02:45.418 --> 01:02:56.210
We're're gonna make this work and we're gonna make it work at our cost yeah, that's what we want and it's all done in love when you protect that love.

01:02:56.210 --> 01:02:59.193
So you just, you just gotta want it.

01:02:59.333 --> 01:03:01.896
You do, and I would say I would.

01:03:01.896 --> 01:03:13.407
I would say that when you say you want it, what you're saying is you want growth and you want commitment, regardless of anything else.

01:03:13.407 --> 01:03:24.724
And I think, like coming into a situation and I think here's the thing, honestly, you know we talk about how quick this was, but you know, we got married but we committed to each other before we got married.

01:03:24.724 --> 01:03:28.893
Right, I mean, I had committed to him and I committed to Tyson before we got married.

01:03:28.893 --> 01:03:35.057
So when he said, hey, he needs to stay, my commitment was already there.

01:03:35.057 --> 01:03:40.641
So I didn't change my commitment, I just changed the plan.

01:03:40.641 --> 01:03:46.666
And because you have, you have to change the plan um to to meet the commitment.

01:03:47.086 --> 01:04:08.541
And so I think, um, oh, that's good that's going to be necessary throughout your entire relationship with you know whether you're coming in, uh, with children, when you, if you have your own children, um, just the things that are going to happen in your life that you can't control, that you can't predict, like commitment is going to have to be a part of it.

01:04:08.541 --> 01:04:14.494
Before you get to it, you have to have decided, like he said, that you want it and so you commit it.

01:04:14.494 --> 01:04:18.713
Okay, like this is what it is, and so you know.

01:04:18.713 --> 01:04:25.764
I think we both enter into that every day, by choice, because it's also not just one time.

01:04:25.764 --> 01:04:35.264
You know we don't, we don't agree on everything we've had, you know, just arguments and issues that we've had to work through.

01:04:35.851 --> 01:04:37.554
Well, we have argued yelled at each other.

01:04:38.215 --> 01:04:45.251
You know I mean OK, we never had an argument that's fair, we don't have arguments.

01:04:45.291 --> 01:05:04.402
We do have disagreements, that is true, and we communicate and we talk through it, and sometimes we land in the same place, sometimes we don't, it's like you know, and sometimes you just have to, but the commitment is there and we're committed to continuing to do that Right.

01:05:04.402 --> 01:05:17.750
And so I think that I just think that's so important for anybody who is, who is potentially entering into this space of a blended family.

01:05:17.750 --> 01:05:27.903
You meet somebody who already has kids, which, like you said, queda especially once you hit 30, 35, that's more than likely going to happen.

01:05:27.903 --> 01:05:46.458
And so, preparing your mind for that and making sure you commit before you know You're not going to know, and so you've made the commitment, so you pivot according to the commitment, and I think that's huge.

01:05:46.458 --> 01:05:48.757
So when you say you want something, that's part of it.

01:05:51.331 --> 01:05:52.516
That's good stuff, folks.

01:05:52.516 --> 01:06:04.335
I was going to tell them to give their last little piece of advice to the folks, but they did it without me asking, so I I would Call us on that Ty.

01:06:09.423 --> 01:06:11.170
Back to when we first started dating.

01:06:11.170 --> 01:06:18.884
The whole entire thing was like I wasn't looking for this.

01:06:18.884 --> 01:06:23.800
We talk about it all the time.

01:06:23.800 --> 01:06:25.516
I wasn't looking for this.

01:06:25.516 --> 01:06:27.737
There's things that I didn't do.

01:06:27.737 --> 01:06:29.757
I wasn't in church like that.

01:06:29.757 --> 01:06:37.222
I didn't go to church outside of a wedding or a funeral or something like that.

01:06:37.222 --> 01:06:38.344
I didn't do that.

01:06:38.344 --> 01:06:40.438
I didn't go to certain functions.

01:06:40.438 --> 01:06:41.614
I didn't do certain things.

01:06:43.172 --> 01:06:46.922
What I was is I was willing to try different things.

01:06:46.922 --> 01:07:01.123
I was always, and I found a great young woman that kind of helped me, mold me into that and uh, and I love it.

01:07:01.123 --> 01:07:07.391
And the thing about it is like she didn't know, she didn't put my feet to the Friday.

01:07:07.391 --> 01:07:20.266
She, she made me do it and she made it fun and uh, and that's precious.

01:07:20.266 --> 01:07:32.467
I mean my nephew we always talk about it like we was sitting out the day of the wedding and we was lined up and he was on the wall with his orange costume.

01:07:33.994 --> 01:07:40.177
You remember you told me you would never get married and I said look at you now.

01:07:40.177 --> 01:07:45.710
And then I said Eli was like alright, wow, literally that's how it happened.

01:07:45.710 --> 01:07:46.672
Yeah, so, but yeah, it's just just be open.

01:07:46.672 --> 01:07:46.911
I said Eli.

01:07:46.911 --> 01:07:48.733
I was like all right, wow, literally that's how it happened.

01:07:48.733 --> 01:07:50.175
Yeah, so, but yeah, it's just be open.

01:07:50.175 --> 01:07:52.038
Just be open to try certain things like you know.

01:07:52.038 --> 01:07:53.259
Just live without borders.

01:07:53.259 --> 01:07:55.342
You know, respect each other.

01:07:55.342 --> 01:07:58.125
You know you can be.

01:07:58.125 --> 01:07:59.425
It's okay to disagree.

01:07:59.425 --> 01:08:05.199
Just don't be disagreeable and just be a spawn.

01:08:05.199 --> 01:08:05.903
Nobody's perfect, amen, star.

01:08:05.923 --> 01:08:09.210
Nobody's perfect amen, nobody's perfect.

01:08:10.054 --> 01:08:10.655
I love it.

01:08:11.193 --> 01:08:20.298
It's the gardeners, everyone it is, and we have a third one who wanted to come on and say something I literally was thinking let me go get him.

01:08:21.796 --> 01:08:23.585
we got a special guest y'all.

01:08:23.585 --> 01:08:25.157
It's the man of the hour.

01:08:25.157 --> 01:08:30.033
Say hey to the people, tyson, hi.

01:08:30.033 --> 01:08:33.679
So, tyson, we just spent a little time talking about how special you are.

01:08:33.679 --> 01:08:36.435
I heard that there's a sign.

01:08:36.435 --> 01:08:40.375
Oh my goodness, what is happening?

01:08:40.375 --> 01:08:42.119
Here we go.

01:08:42.119 --> 01:08:43.239
All right, here we go.

01:08:44.872 --> 01:08:51.235
We're on camera, buddy, so here we go all right, here we go, we're on camera, buddy.

01:08:51.336 --> 01:08:51.896
So this is.

01:08:51.896 --> 01:08:55.042
Oh okay, wait a minute, I didn't know you drew like that.

01:08:55.042 --> 01:08:56.625
That's a nice horse.

01:08:56.625 --> 01:08:58.836
Okay, tyson's room.

01:08:58.836 --> 01:09:00.421
And then what else does this say?

01:09:00.421 --> 01:09:12.893
Sorry y'all, this is a little chaotic hold on.

01:09:12.912 --> 01:09:16.300
Okay, all right, this is blended family, so it says caution, please knock.

01:09:16.300 --> 01:09:18.143
Unless you are my dad, please.

01:09:18.824 --> 01:09:25.420
And me, okay, so everybody, so your dad doesn't have to knock, he can just go in.

01:09:27.752 --> 01:09:29.157
Because he said what he said.

01:09:31.992 --> 01:09:33.237
Ty, what did you say?

01:09:38.734 --> 01:09:39.438
What did he say?

01:09:39.438 --> 01:09:43.539
No, you say it, you say it.

01:09:45.331 --> 01:09:46.296
It's a little bit.

01:09:46.296 --> 01:09:47.876
It's several things.

01:09:47.876 --> 01:09:50.735
It's been passed down from generation to generation.

01:09:50.735 --> 01:09:52.279
Oh, okay.

01:09:57.694 --> 01:09:59.199
That's not about this case.

01:10:00.131 --> 01:10:01.515
What happened in this case?

01:10:02.096 --> 01:10:02.760
Okay, what is it?

01:10:05.601 --> 01:10:08.176
We're talking about parenting.

01:10:10.649 --> 01:10:17.373
He said this ain't about the bills, this is about the parenting, Alright.

01:10:17.394 --> 01:10:17.996
well, what's up?

01:10:17.996 --> 01:10:20.336
What is it about?

01:10:20.650 --> 01:10:22.157
People know that it's my room.

01:10:22.157 --> 01:10:24.114
They have to follow the rules.

01:10:24.114 --> 01:10:34.869
So just in case, like, like when I'm changing clothes, people people.

01:10:34.869 --> 01:10:36.859
So people can know that.

01:10:38.405 --> 01:10:50.640
So people can know that they should not first before they come in now Tyson, correct me if I'm wrong, but on this camera are all the people who live in the house, right?

01:10:50.640 --> 01:11:04.618
So when you say people, that starts fights don't it.

01:11:04.658 --> 01:11:05.841
That's less.

01:11:05.841 --> 01:11:14.801
Well, listen, we're really glad we could have you on camera, because it's not a full gardener family without you, all right.

01:11:14.801 --> 01:11:16.350
So do you want to help me close it out?

01:11:16.350 --> 01:11:24.934
We need to tell the people, right, that they need to do three things right they need to like, they need to share and they need to subscribe.

01:11:24.934 --> 01:11:26.555
Can you tell the people to do that real quick?

01:11:28.979 --> 01:11:31.002
Everybody like subscribe.

01:11:31.002 --> 01:11:33.985
Everybody like subscribe and share.

01:11:34.310 --> 01:11:36.293
Listen, you heard it from the man himself.

01:11:36.293 --> 01:11:42.154
Okay, if you have not become part of the community yet, all right, get in on this.

01:11:42.154 --> 01:11:44.118
Hit the bell, hit the button.

01:11:44.118 --> 01:11:45.983
All right, because we're rolling.

01:11:45.983 --> 01:11:48.030
Get in on this.

01:11:48.030 --> 01:11:50.176
Hit the bell, hit the button All right, because we're rolling.

01:11:50.176 --> 01:11:54.886
This has been the last episode of Ruth Abigail's and the Unlearned Podcast parenting series.

01:11:54.886 --> 01:12:01.042
We're so excited that we get to end it with Tyson and that we got to have just an amazing conversation.

01:12:01.042 --> 01:12:03.114
Thank you, ty, for coming on.

01:12:03.114 --> 01:12:06.122
Ruth Abigail, you know we appreciate you as well.

01:12:06.430 --> 01:12:07.376
Thank you, Taquita, for hosting.

01:12:08.610 --> 01:12:10.920
But anyways, this has been Unlearned Podcast.

01:12:10.920 --> 01:12:17.484
Hopefully today you earned, learned something and you're able to walk in just a little bit more freedom.

01:12:17.484 --> 01:12:21.646
So until next time, which will be next week, we will see y'all later, peace, peace, peace, peace.

01:12:21.646 --> 01:12:25.712
We'll see y'all later, peace, peace.

01:12:29.315 --> 01:12:32.220
Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast.

01:12:32.220 --> 01:12:36.365
We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.

01:12:36.365 --> 01:12:45.600
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.

01:12:45.600 --> 01:12:49.456
We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

01:12:49.456 --> 01:12:50.378
See you then.