July 8, 2025

Unlearning The Devil Wears Prada

Unlearning The Devil Wears Prada

Send us a text We must learn to recognize how environments change us and evaluate whether our transformations align with our true selves. The journey of Andy in The Devil Wears Prada illustrates the tension between ambition and purpose. • Ambition has a shadow side that can reveal unexpected aspects of ourselves • The tradeoffs required when trying to "have it all" necessitate hard choices • Transformational relationships often come from seeing leaders behind the scenes • Watch the people yo...

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Send us a text

We must learn to recognize how environments change us and evaluate whether our transformations align with our true selves. The journey of Andy in The Devil Wears Prada illustrates the tension between ambition and purpose.

• Ambition has a shadow side that can reveal unexpected aspects of ourselves
• The tradeoffs required when trying to "have it all" necessitate hard choices
• Transformational relationships often come from seeing leaders behind the scenes
• Watch the people you spend the most time with—you'll become more like them
• Middle managers need to stop trying to impress and start developing others
• Adding value comes from knowledge and communication, not just doing more
• Maintain activities that keep you grounded through periods of transformation
• Your values must remain consistent even as you grow and evolve

Join the Unlearned family by liking, subscribing, and sharing. We have more movies in our summer series coming up and would love to hear which films shaped your worldview.


00:00 - Introducing The Unlearned Podcast

02:00 - Summer Series: Movies That Shaped Us

03:50 - The Devil Wears Prada: A Classic Debate

10:07 - Andy's Journey: Ambition vs. Purpose

17:49 - The Myth of Having It All

30:25 - Career Growth: Knowledge Over Doing

42:52 - Transforming Without Losing Yourself

54:09 - Finding Balance and Closing Thoughts

WEBVTT

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hello everybody and welcome once again to the unlearned podcast.

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I am your host with abigail aka ra what's up, friends?

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It's your girl, jaquita and this is the podcast that's helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that you can experience more freedom, more freedom, freedom, freedom, more freedom, freedom.

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Yes.

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All right, All right Listen friends, listen, friends, all right, we out here.

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Oh, you know what Just thought about it.

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Okay, listen, all right.

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Whether it's your first time, your second time, or if you've been rocking with us from the beginning, okay, if you have not yet hit that like button, hit that subscribe button.

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Absolutely, Join the unlearned family, okay.

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Let's do that today.

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Okay, let's do that today.

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Let's be part of a community here, all right, and we cause, we getting into some stuff, okay, we talking about some stuff and we want y'all to be a part of what we're doing and where we're going.

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We got some surprises up along the way.

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Don't want you to miss out on it.

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We do Like, share, subscribe, comment, send it to a friend.

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Look at us.

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We're getting better at that.

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I know it just dawned on me.

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It was like a moment, it was like a hey, get it together.

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Let's act like we've done this for a while.

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You know what I'm saying.

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I know right.

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Are we a?

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year in.

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Yes, I think we're a year in.

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We're a year in.

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We've done this for a year, I think yeah.

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Sure feels like that.

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We might be close.

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We might be close.

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Yeah, I think we're close to a year.

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I think in August it'll be a year.

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But give us.

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We're just kind of you know, thinking, reminiscing, you know what I mean like just trying to figure out, you know that's a middle adult thing where we've been, you don't, you don't reminisce in your 20s?

00:01:49.575 --> 00:01:51.837
You know you ain't got nothing to reminisce on.

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Yeah, you ain't got nothing to reminisce on, but in your, in your middle adult years.

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Ah, I remember I remember, when I remember back in them days, oh lord know, oh Lord.

00:02:04.227 --> 00:02:13.231
Speaking of remembering, we are talking about movies, and we're talking about the movies that shaped us in our youth.

00:02:14.540 --> 00:02:27.062
Well, that might be a little much, but we're talking about movies we liked and we saw in our younger years and kind of like, what are we unlearning from those from those movies and what can they teach us?

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And so, uh, we have done several and if you haven't checked them out, you should do that.

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This is our um, this is our summer series.

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Y'all, we're having a good time doing it and if you like, you like, we would love to know from y'all like what movie shaped y'all Like?

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What movies did you enjoy growing up?

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You know what I mean Like drop it in the comments.

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Let us know what movies you are saying Like yeah, I probably have to unlearn from that.

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Listen.

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I think that's so important though, because the things that we watched, I mean I think we all can like go through like the Disney franchise and like think through all the things that we watched.

00:03:03.775 --> 00:03:15.430
I mean I think we all can like go through like the disney franchise and like, oh yeah, think through all the things, but like there were there were so many influences in your childhood that are still playing around.

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I think that's why people got so mad at love and basketball, because sure, sure we allowed that movie to be a template for us.

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We did For relationships, for love, yes, yeah.

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And I think that when we realized what life was really about, how relationships really work, and when we really found ourselves in these situations, we was like yo, this is trash.

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Yeah, this is not it All right and I plan to unlearn all of this.

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And.

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I think the movie that we're talking about today, I think taught us so much about what needed to be unlearned in the workplace.

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Absolutely.

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Yeah, absolutely yeah.

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Now, if you haven't guessed it by now, or if you just haven't even looked at the subtitle because you know it's written right there, it's right there, all right, all're talking about.

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The devil wears prada okay starring the meryl streep.

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Okay, and before we even get into this conversation, me and ruth abigail had a little tip for I was gonna bring it up.

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I was gonna bring it up, go ahead, go ahead.

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Because I, just like quita is would put this movie in the category of a classic and I just disagree.

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I am, it doesn't mean.

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I don't think it's a great movie and I think it's loved by many.

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I don't think it's a classic.

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I don't see it in that category.

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I don't.

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I absolutely don't understand your life, your logic, your thinking.

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I don't understand none of that because the devil the devil wears Prada is on everybody's list, Like everybody has this movie somewhere in their top like 20 movies.

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I'm going to tell you right now, it is nowhere near Okay.

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Everybody has everybody who doesn't like this movie.

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Okay, we need to know, we need to know, we need to know, I need to know.

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Like this movie.

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We need to know, we need to know, I need to know is devil wears prada in your top 20?

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I need to know, I need to know, we need to know, listen, hit us up.

00:05:14.983 --> 00:05:18.850
Okay is the devil wears prada, a classic.

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Like if somebody told you you could never watch that movie again, how would you?

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You feel Totally fine, 100% okay.

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Because you're whack, okay, but the rest of us absolutely not.

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The devil was, first of all, we all rock with Meryl Streep.

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You know what I'm saying?

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She's a million other amazing movies.

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First of all, I'm not no, no, no, no, no, we all rock with Meryl Streep, but I think this movie is the one where I'm saying it like this we, the community was like that girl.

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good, she's alright with us.

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Listen, I don't care what you say, I care not.

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I care not because I don't understand.

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I don't agree.

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I don't agree.

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We need to know we're having this argument.

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You need to tell us which one of us is right.

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Is it a classic or no?

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Is it your top 20 or no?

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I mean, I like the movie.

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I rewatched it for this podcast.

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I probably won't watch it again for several years.

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And I'm not going to think about it.

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I got it on DVD, okay, and I thought about trying to find somewhere to play it in order to do this podcast, but I was like nah, let me go on and pay the little $3.99 on.

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Amazon to watch it, because where do you play DVDs at these days?

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Exactly who has a DVD?

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player, isn't it?

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crazy how much the world changed.

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Like my mom, at my mom's house we still have a cabinet of VHS tapes, yep, and it's like you can't even do nothing with those.

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No more, nope, can't.

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Anywho, devil Wears Prada is such a, you know.

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I told Ruth Abigail I was like this movie is just chock full of everything we like to talk about.

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It's very true, you know.

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It's leadership, it's relationships, it's inner growth.

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It's leadership, it's relationships, it's inner growth, it's transformation, it's all of the things.

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Yep, very true.

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So we're going to talk about it and we're going to kind of go through it.

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And so it is.

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I think it is a very kind kind of all encompassing depiction of what happens when your environment consumes you and how do you manage transformation, um, over time with yourself.

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Like there's, there's, there's you know that that, that that theme is just screaming in it and it's, it's, it's housed in the workplace and, you know, in this industry, this, this industry of fashion, that's just this like high stakes, cutthroat industry, and it's, like you know, it's couched, uh, on the basis of relationships and what relationships?

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Between different characters at different times, and so we're going to kind of highlight the, the themes around particular relationships and some of the things we we can learn through their relational journey in the um, in in the movie.

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So, uh, quita, uh.

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So, for those of you who have not seen devils product or have not seen it in a while, um, like myself, I uh.

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So it's about a young woman who, uh, who wants to be a journalist and she gets a job as an assistant at a fashion industry.

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She wants to, just she.

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It's a magazine, I'm at the fashion tree and a fashion magazine.

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It's a magazine.

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It's she, so she wants to work for a publication.

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Her thing is, I just want to get in the door, I just want to get my foot in the door.

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So she goes into this, uh, fashion magazine, not really understanding the industry, not knowing who she's about to work for, who apparently is a really, really big deal, and she kind of goes in there with, um, you know, and I identified with this quite a bit she went in there the way I might have gone in there, I feel, as though I would have been dressed very similarly and not probably not as that, but like I would have been on that spectrum of wardrobe.

00:09:27.495 --> 00:09:33.350
Um, if I know you wouldn't have no, you wouldn't have, because it wouldn't have been that bad.

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I would have sensed it in the spirit it wouldn't have been that bad.

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Okay, it wouldn't have been that bad, but but it would not have been up to par.

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I wouldn't have been on they, I wouldn't have been fashion ready, right like industry, and she wasn't.

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That's not her style, the one her thing, and she kind of walks into this world that she's unprepared for, about to work for this high-powered woman who is impossible and, um, and this is how, this is how we begin, and so kind of watch, watch her journey.

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Um, her name is andrea, uh, and watch her journey as an assistant and kind of, and and watch her through that, learn more about herself, uh, learn more about the industry, and kind of figure out what she really really wants in life and all this I think that that, first of all, it is the journey of the 20s wrapped up in a movie.

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Interesting, it is the I'm going to discover myself.

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I have goals, I have ambitions, I have a plan.

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Right, she went in there with a plan.

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Hey, listen, I'm going to go up in here, I'm going to do this for a little year, then I'm going to get to where I really want to be.

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That's right.

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You know what I'm saying.

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That's right, I'm going to shift right on up out of here.

00:10:43.868 --> 00:10:48.234
Yep, okay, and I don't need to come in comfortable because I don't plan on staying.

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I don't plan on staying Okay, because in the 20s we always had a plan.

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Yeah, you know, in the 20s, I mean, how many times do we sit down and be like this is when I'm going to meet my husband, this is when I'm going to have my kids.

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I'm going to buy my first house.

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I'm going to da da, da, da, da.

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That was her thinking.

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That was her line of thinking was this is part of my plan.

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And when you treat things, when you have a plan and you encounter something, you don't go in there respecting the opportunity, because you're looking for the opportunity to serve you and not for you to serve it.

00:11:31.073 --> 00:11:34.881
That's correct, absolutely, absolutely.

00:11:34.881 --> 00:11:42.471
She had no intentions of adding value, right?

00:11:42.471 --> 00:11:49.688
Yeah, like she had no intentions of adding value, she had no intentions of really even caring about understanding.

00:11:49.688 --> 00:12:17.150
So there's a scene where she's going in and miranda, who is the um, her boss, and the fashion mogul, uh, she, she's, she's preparing for a show, she's, and she's, she's, uh, going over the different clothes that, the, that the that her designers had given her and she was making comments on it and they were trying to figure out what they were gonna and, yes, holding the two belts, and she was saying how they're two basically, and I could identify with this.

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They looked they weren't the same.

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I knew they weren't the same.

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They had different buckles.

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However, like the, the colors looked the same.

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It didn't look all that different.

00:12:24.591 --> 00:12:27.085
But and but, andrea, what?

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They were kind of going back and forth and over that decision of which belt and she kind of chuckled and miranda looked and was like what's funny?

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And she was like I mean, they're basically the same belt and miranda went into, uh, a spiel on famous monologue which apparently Jaquita is like everybody says this monologue.

00:12:49.206 --> 00:12:50.658
I've never heard anybody say this monologue.

00:12:50.658 --> 00:12:56.799
This is not a regular monologue, people just say everybody knows the monologue, though.

00:12:56.919 --> 00:12:57.985
Like and that has like.

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First of all, you know what I think this movie has shaped, and then I think we can start getting down into our breakdown.

00:13:04.157 --> 00:13:13.865
Right, I think this movie really shaped, and then I think we can start getting down into our breakdown, right, I think this movie really shaped the way we, as millennials, regard the workspace, because all that, we're a family crap.

00:13:13.865 --> 00:13:14.667
We're like.

00:13:14.667 --> 00:13:16.309
No, I saw the Devil Wears Prada.

00:13:16.309 --> 00:13:25.667
Okay, I know, I know how toxic this can get, so you're not going to fool me with the.

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We're a family, okay.

00:13:28.182 --> 00:13:29.807
No I don't want to work family.

00:13:30.067 --> 00:13:31.179
That's hilarious Y'all.

00:13:31.179 --> 00:13:32.083
Not really for me anyway.

00:13:32.083 --> 00:13:38.740
Did you have that in mind, like, did you have the Devil Wears Prada in mind early in your work, in your work experiences?

00:13:38.779 --> 00:13:39.841
I really do think I did.

00:13:39.841 --> 00:13:50.884
I think we all saw Miranda and we were like, yeah, you know, as a leader, as a, as a, as a whatever, like I can't be her, even if you are.

00:13:50.884 --> 00:13:51.907
You were ambitious.

00:13:51.907 --> 00:13:59.147
You wanted to be kind of that boss bae, like you know, sorry, boss bae, man, we I mean okay.

00:13:59.147 --> 00:14:00.129
All right.

00:14:01.821 --> 00:14:02.663
I won't go say that.

00:14:02.663 --> 00:14:04.089
Okay, sorry, guys.

00:14:04.942 --> 00:14:08.458
I want that stricken from my vocabulary immediately, okay.

00:14:08.458 --> 00:14:20.960
But you know, I think that we all I do think that it was in the back of my mind, especially like when you're starting out we all felt just like Andy.

00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:27.469
Like you know, like you get there and you have all these hopes about how you about to be, like man, this is just a little desk job.

00:14:27.469 --> 00:14:28.831
I'm a da, da, da, da da.

00:14:28.831 --> 00:14:40.974
And then you get to the overwhelming part where you realize you don't know what you're doing and I think that every time I transition into a new place, I feel just like Andy, like oh crap, I don't.

00:14:40.974 --> 00:14:49.644
Like when I was signing up for the position, I didn't really understand the role Sure, right, like I didn't.

00:14:49.644 --> 00:14:52.971
I didn't understand the work, I didn't understand the organization.

00:14:52.971 --> 00:14:55.969
There's no job that I went into and I was just like man.

00:14:55.969 --> 00:14:59.383
Just, I can do this in my sleep.

00:14:59.383 --> 00:15:01.067
No, I'm saying yeah.

00:15:01.327 --> 00:15:07.250
And I think, I think that I do, I do think about that and I think it made me think about some deeper elements that I want to get into.

00:15:08.799 --> 00:15:10.783
Well, all right, so let's get into it.

00:15:10.783 --> 00:15:22.812
So, one of the most crucial relationships that we see and let's just start, let's just start with the, with the obvious, between Andy and Miranda.

00:15:22.812 --> 00:15:24.381
So this is the people we're talking about right now.

00:15:24.381 --> 00:15:27.567
Right, so they they have.

00:15:27.567 --> 00:15:30.572
This is what's interesting to me about about that relationship.

00:15:30.572 --> 00:16:12.206
One of the things and quinn and I were talking about this in, like in our prep time for the podcast, like just uh, one of the things that andy had to come to grips with was the fact that, um, she, she didn't understand what her ambition would bring out in her right, and I think something we have to unlearn is that ambition is not bad ambition isn't a bad thing, but like anything, um anything, uh, the even even a good quality has a shadow side, and so the ambitious quality about her brought out some things that she didn't expect.

00:16:12.746 --> 00:16:36.893
One of those was a level of vanity right Like she didn't realize how she would actually enjoy tapping into this world where people saw her a certain way, where her image was all of a sudden important and people responded to how she physically looked, to how she showed up in a room, all of that.

00:16:36.893 --> 00:16:46.668
She wasn't really checking for that before, that was not a part of her MO, but when she tasted it she liked it, and she didn't realize that she would like it.

00:16:47.110 --> 00:16:55.681
And I think like when, whenever we're pursuing things, we have to be be aware that your, your, your, your.

00:16:55.681 --> 00:17:06.430
The actual like pursuit itself is fine there's nothing wrong with that but just be aware that you're going to run into some things that you're going to taste that you might like.

00:17:06.430 --> 00:17:08.034
That's not actually good.

00:17:08.740 --> 00:17:26.969
Well, I think, I think what you really need to be aware of is that it was always inside of her, and I think you know, and going into different environments and opportunities, you have to be prepared, and I think this is something that you become well aware of as a middle adult.

00:17:26.969 --> 00:17:39.401
You have to be prepared for a level of exposure, because any new place that you go into, it's going to take another layer off of the mask that you learned how to put on.

00:17:39.401 --> 00:17:44.888
Right, she had learned how to put on this nonchalant.

00:17:44.888 --> 00:18:00.669
I don't care about clothes, I don't care about how I show up, because I'm a journalist, right, you know I'm down for the real, you know I'm trying to get to the story and I have depth, you know.

00:18:00.710 --> 00:18:01.733
And she that was a but that was a mess.

00:18:01.733 --> 00:18:03.359
Yeah, because, at the end of the day, when it comes to you may not care.

00:18:03.359 --> 00:18:25.653
Ultimately, I don't think that she cared as deeply about what she was wearing, no, right, but she did, like you said, care about what people thought of her, how they perceived her, the respect she got when she could throw around miranda's name and just easily have things at her fingertips, easily have opportunities and access.

00:18:25.653 --> 00:18:31.832
Right, that uncovered that layer of oh, you're not as deep as you thought you was.

00:18:31.832 --> 00:18:33.160
Boo Right right right.

00:18:35.321 --> 00:18:46.295
Like, you're not as committed to this idea of just being this, of identifying as just a journalist, right?

00:18:46.295 --> 00:18:47.320
No, right, you're not.

00:18:47.320 --> 00:18:58.933
You're not super committed to that, and I think that it was necessary for her to realize that, or else she would have a lot of times we set ourselves on courses that are one dimensional.

00:18:58.933 --> 00:19:01.461
You know, I just want to be a journalist.

00:19:01.461 --> 00:19:27.843
Well, in your pursuit to be a journalist, you were about to lose your friends, your partner, your life, and I think it was necessary for her to see Miranda's life Miranda constantly rising up the chain and getting all the respect and having all the adoration not adoration, but respect, you know and having all the access and all the things.

00:19:27.843 --> 00:19:39.212
But it was in the real moments when it was just her and Miranda, and I think this is why it's so important for young leaders to get connected to older leaders.

00:19:39.212 --> 00:19:43.451
Yeah, and you need to be able to see them behind the scenes.

00:19:43.451 --> 00:19:45.366
Yep, you need to be able to see them.

00:19:45.366 --> 00:20:20.173
The most powerful moments for Andy and Miranda was when Miranda was there no makeup in a robe, yep, you know, sitting somewhere, and it was just the two of them Yep, those were the most powerful moments because it was important for her to see what lies behind power, the pain behind power, and a lot of times, when people don't get exposed to that, they keep aspiring for something that could end them, that could take you out, because you don't understand the weight and the sacrifice.

00:20:20.940 --> 00:20:23.665
You know, she, you, you, she was there.

00:20:23.665 --> 00:20:27.473
She was the first person that Miranda told about her divorce.

00:20:27.473 --> 00:20:29.625
Yep, you get what I'm saying.

00:20:29.625 --> 00:20:42.320
Yep, and it's like you, you are privy to the pain that it takes to carry the weight of that crown and the fact that you know, and and you're so, uh, I'm just gonna call you a green.

00:20:42.320 --> 00:20:44.766
Yeah, andy was, you're green, yeah.

00:20:44.766 --> 00:20:50.643
And so when Miranda is telling you all of this, you're like oh man, do you want to take some time off?

00:20:50.643 --> 00:20:51.685
Should I cancel this thing?

00:20:51.685 --> 00:20:53.409
She like what?

00:20:53.409 --> 00:20:57.066
No, no, that's younger Now, that's young adult stuff.

00:20:57.066 --> 00:20:59.807
Yeah, like I'm having a bad day, I'm not going to work.

00:20:59.807 --> 00:21:09.202
No, no, that ain't what we do.

00:21:09.202 --> 00:21:10.508
Yeah, she's like whatever for cancel what ain't?

00:21:10.508 --> 00:21:12.494
No, because when you are the person at the top, you don't get days off.

00:21:12.494 --> 00:21:19.171
No, you don't, you don't get to tell everybody already made a decision miranda yes while she was distraught and it was a terrible moment.

00:21:20.413 --> 00:21:21.962
Uh, she made a decision.

00:21:21.962 --> 00:21:29.005
She knew and she had made a decision already that she's, this is who she's going to be.

00:21:29.005 --> 00:21:34.142
And you know she was like I, this is, this was her second marriage that's failed.

00:21:34.142 --> 00:21:50.076
And you know, and the biggest issue she was like it's not fair to the girls that what it's more so, what people were going to say, and for Miranda it was I understand that my relationship, my relationships, come second to the job.

00:21:50.076 --> 00:21:51.445
She had already made that decision.

00:21:52.141 --> 00:21:58.930
And so this idea of you need a, you need a moment, no, because I think, deep down, miranda probably I knew that was going to happen.

00:21:58.930 --> 00:22:00.246
She knew that was probably going to happen anyway.

00:22:00.246 --> 00:22:02.867
I mean it was it was definitely headed that way.

00:22:02.900 --> 00:22:03.402
You know what I'm saying.

00:22:03.402 --> 00:22:09.711
So it's like this is this is just part of it, and what she was more concerned with was the aftermath of it publicly.

00:22:09.711 --> 00:22:12.086
That was her biggest concern.

00:22:12.086 --> 00:22:22.549
And so for Andy to see that I think you make a great point Seeing the behind the scenes of the people that you admire, of the weight that it takes to hold.

00:22:22.549 --> 00:22:33.074
But the thing is, at some point in your life you make decisions that and I and the the idea of a decision is you cut off all other options.

00:22:33.074 --> 00:22:38.609
When you decide something, no other option is available to you.

00:22:38.849 --> 00:22:42.864
You say this is it and she, and so what I want to?

00:22:42.864 --> 00:22:43.567
What I want to ask?

00:22:43.567 --> 00:22:44.409
I want to ask you who to like.

00:22:44.409 --> 00:22:45.030
Do you, what do you?

00:22:45.140 --> 00:23:01.612
What do you think about this idea of particularly women and I know we, we have this conversation, I know this, this is a conversation that in the public square that's had a lot but, like, um, this idea of women having it all, whatever that might mean to you, right, how do you?

00:23:01.612 --> 00:23:02.760
What do you feel about that?

00:23:02.760 --> 00:23:03.321
Like, what do you?

00:23:03.321 --> 00:23:04.423
What are your about?

00:23:04.423 --> 00:23:25.147
Because I think that this gives a real picture of what it, uh, what, what the outcome can be, can be, when you try to have it all right the, the, the, the kids that get everything that they you know, the kids that you love and do what.

00:23:25.147 --> 00:23:26.778
Do anything for the kids that get everything that they you know, the kids that you love and do what?

00:23:26.778 --> 00:23:31.611
Do anything for the husband that supports your, your career, the best career you can have.

00:23:31.611 --> 00:23:32.825
The out, the, the.

00:23:32.825 --> 00:23:41.932
You know you're at the top of your game, you have all the respect out in the industry and you're on top of the world in all these different areas, and or at least seemingly so.

00:23:41.932 --> 00:23:45.490
But something, something has to give.

00:23:46.030 --> 00:23:46.271
Yeah.

00:23:46.599 --> 00:23:52.873
Like, and I think that this is an interesting picture of you know, can you really have it all?

00:23:52.873 --> 00:23:53.761
Is that a real?

00:23:53.761 --> 00:23:55.247
Is that a real thing?

00:23:55.648 --> 00:24:04.009
What you know, I think one let, let, let, let, let's, let's.

00:24:04.009 --> 00:24:07.855
You gotta reframe it, because can you have it all?

00:24:07.855 --> 00:24:10.481
No, can you have all that matters?

00:24:10.481 --> 00:24:15.471
Maybe, but maybe not in the way that you think that it should go.

00:24:15.471 --> 00:24:34.573
You know, yeah, I think, uh, I'm thinking about myself in this moment because, as a single person I think you know this idea I had this mindset that, jaquita, you're single, you have the time and the opportunity to go after things.

00:24:34.573 --> 00:24:37.048
And so I was pushing.

00:24:37.048 --> 00:24:44.779
I was like, all right, I'm going hard in this PhD program, going hard at work, going hard at church, going hard in my relationships.

00:24:44.779 --> 00:24:46.163
I'm going hard in everything.

00:24:46.163 --> 00:24:53.444
And when I got to the end of this last semester, I said, yeah, we'll be taking a break from that, don't ask me to do this.

00:24:54.567 --> 00:25:05.314
I need a break because in my mind I was like, because I'm single, I can have it all, except Except for you know what you can't have when you're single?

00:25:05.314 --> 00:25:09.710
Uh-huh, meaning a partner, just to be clear.

00:25:10.221 --> 00:25:10.749
Right, sure.

00:25:10.749 --> 00:25:11.680
Thank you for the clarity.

00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:13.989
Just to be clear, it's important.

00:25:15.619 --> 00:25:22.565
But I had to back off of that because you trying to have it all.

00:25:22.565 --> 00:25:24.726
There are people who are striving to have it all.

00:25:24.726 --> 00:25:26.876
There are people who are striving to have it all and they are unwell.

00:25:26.876 --> 00:25:29.386
Yeah, you're unwell, that's right.

00:25:29.386 --> 00:25:30.281
You have not.

00:25:30.281 --> 00:25:34.813
You cannot effectively have it all and be all.

00:25:34.813 --> 00:25:36.244
You cannot do both.

00:25:36.244 --> 00:25:42.900
No, because everything that you have, you have to become something for that thing, yeah, very true.

00:25:43.481 --> 00:25:52.692
And so and that's the balance the balance is not can I have a husband, kids, a high flying career and all of the things that I want in life.

00:25:52.692 --> 00:26:00.173
The question is, can I become everything that it will take to maintain those things?

00:26:00.173 --> 00:26:03.328
That's real, and that's when you have to start making choices.

00:26:03.328 --> 00:26:28.958
Yes, and I think that, again going back to Andy and Miranda, is that, looking at Miranda, I think, I think there were a couple of people in Andy's path that were giving her depictions of what her life would look like if she went down a certain road Right, and I think even her relationship with Nigel went down a certain road Right and I think even her relationship with Nigel Stanley Tucci's character whom love everything he's in.

00:26:28.998 --> 00:26:29.518
I'm trying to watch.

00:26:29.538 --> 00:26:31.503
I love him Right, okay, because he's amazing.

00:26:31.503 --> 00:26:37.548
He just has his demeanor is one that you're just like oh, what a, what a wonderful man.

00:26:37.548 --> 00:26:47.141
Yes, you know what a wonderful person I'm sure he is.

00:26:47.141 --> 00:26:48.182
Um, you know, I hope um, you never know.

00:26:48.182 --> 00:26:48.584
It's hollywood.

00:26:48.584 --> 00:26:53.095
Well, you never know, um, but everyone in her life was a depiction of what did they?

00:26:53.095 --> 00:26:54.117
They gave up.

00:26:54.117 --> 00:26:55.059
They gave up something.

00:26:55.059 --> 00:26:55.602
That's right.

00:26:55.602 --> 00:26:57.467
No, nobody had it all.

00:26:57.467 --> 00:27:04.477
Yeah, you know, I'm saying what she didn't have was somebody who had the great home life, you know.

00:27:04.477 --> 00:27:28.773
And Stanley Tucher I actually uh, uh, his name is Nigel in the movie, but I actually made a note of something that he said in the movie when they're out and they're like he's working on this event out, and you know she, she's starting, she's starting to have problems in her relationships, and so she talks to him about it and he says, when your life blows up, then you know you're ready for a promotion.

00:27:28.953 --> 00:27:39.989
Yeah, and I said man, true, because every you know there's always going to be a battle when it's time to go to your next level, because you're going to have to leave.

00:27:39.989 --> 00:27:46.321
You got to leave a version of yourself in order to adopt who you're going to have to become for that next version.

00:27:46.321 --> 00:27:52.761
But I think when we start, you know the Bible tells us that we have to walk circumspectly.

00:27:52.761 --> 00:27:58.813
And that means you know circum meaning around, spectly meaning look.

00:27:58.813 --> 00:28:06.660
You know, look around, right, like you need to walk while looking around and seeing what's happening.

00:28:06.660 --> 00:28:12.945
And the more you know, the more you should be able to apply wisdom and understanding to your next move.

00:28:13.621 --> 00:28:36.317
As middle adults, it just doesn't make any sense for us to go in, make moves and not think that those moves are going to influence us as people, that they're not going to influence our relationships, that they're not going to influence our ability to do other things Like you are going to be greatly, you are greatly impacted by the choices you make.

00:28:36.317 --> 00:28:38.643
So you should choose wisely.

00:28:38.643 --> 00:28:43.652
You know, again, andy was in her twenties, just rolling, rolling out.

00:28:43.652 --> 00:28:45.661
I'm going to try this job real quick.

00:28:45.661 --> 00:28:50.050
You know, in your thirties walk circumspectly.

00:28:52.537 --> 00:28:53.700
Don't just roll up in there.

00:28:53.700 --> 00:29:23.076
Well, yeah, and I think that that I love that you, that you, that you have that quote from Nigel, because you know when your life blows up now you know you're ready for a promotion, to become something at any at the next level of anything.

00:29:23.076 --> 00:29:37.444
Uh, you have to learn how to manage chaos in your you know that that is just going to be part of the journey and so, yeah, I think, I think that, yeah, like you, you are ready.

00:29:37.444 --> 00:29:41.601
You're ready when you, when you've managed it, not when you've experienced it, but when you learn how to manage it.

00:29:41.601 --> 00:29:44.559
Yeah, like, we all experience chaos, but if we don't manage it, well, you ain't ready but if you can learn how to manage it well, not when you've experienced it, but when you learn how to manage it.

00:29:44.539 --> 00:29:45.660
Like we all experience chaos, but if we don't manage it well, you ain't ready.

00:29:45.660 --> 00:29:49.127
But if you can learn how to manage it well, you can, you can be ready.

00:29:49.127 --> 00:29:59.461
I think the other thing that I'm thinking about is don't kind of going back to this decision thing and this idea of having it all and I like what you said.

00:29:59.461 --> 00:30:01.545
Can you have everything that matters?

00:30:01.545 --> 00:30:04.871
Maybe, maybe, that's maybe possible.

00:30:04.871 --> 00:30:17.944
When I decided that I wanted to get married which wasn't until my early 30s where I really made it I do want to get married.

00:30:17.944 --> 00:30:21.020
I mean, it was kind of always on the table but it wasn't a deep desire.

00:30:21.020 --> 00:30:38.243
And so when I decided I wanted to get married, I at the same time decided if I'm, if I want to get married, then I'm deciding to put a ceiling on my ambition in work, in career.

00:30:38.243 --> 00:30:51.477
So, like I, I recognize that marriage means my, my, the ambition around career is going to um take a hit.

00:30:51.477 --> 00:31:15.315
And that's a decision I made and I had to make and know before and I think some of us don't make that decision before you link up with your partner, that decision before you link up with your partner and when you don't make that decision and before you do it, you can get into it and expect that you can still go hard in two things.

00:31:15.315 --> 00:31:20.827
You can't, you can't go hard in two things at the same time.

00:31:20.827 --> 00:32:03.628
So if you're on a path to your career and at a level whatever a career might be and you're like I want to move, move, move, move, go, go, go, go go, and you meet somebody along that path and you never made a decision to change your pace that you were with when you were single, then, like Miranda right, you've really made a decision to keep the partner as long as it, as long as he or she can keep up with you, and so then it's like, well, so so you know what I'm saying.

00:32:03.628 --> 00:32:05.054
So it's like I think that's just the having it all piece.

00:32:05.054 --> 00:32:07.384
It's like well, so so you know I'm saying so it's like I think that's just the having it all piece.

00:32:07.384 --> 00:32:18.074
It's like, yeah, no, you gotta really you gotta know you can have it, but it's not gonna be at the same level as it was when you're, when it's just you.

00:32:18.977 --> 00:32:22.228
Once you add other people and other things, you other people.

00:32:22.228 --> 00:32:24.234
Let me be clear once you add other people and other things, you other people.

00:32:24.234 --> 00:32:35.108
Let me be clear Once you add other people and attach yourself to other people, then you can't run as hard, you can't run as fast, you may not be able to run as far, um, and so it's.

00:32:35.108 --> 00:32:36.571
I think it's just a reality.

00:32:36.571 --> 00:32:46.374
It's like I I'm putting, I have to transfer my energy and otherwise I've made, I've made, I got, you got to make the decision.

00:32:46.374 --> 00:33:03.585
Before you make the move, the decision has to be made, um, and, and the reality check has to be there, and so I just I remember that and I was like I know I'm making a decision and I'm great with that, like, yeah, that's what I want to do if I had to, I don't have to make that conscious choice.

00:33:04.365 --> 00:33:08.892
Yeah, and I think, but I do think To that point.

00:33:08.892 --> 00:33:20.911
I think that you have to be mindful of, you have to know what all you're bringing with you, because you have to be able to show somebody talking to my single people.

00:33:20.911 --> 00:33:27.243
You have to be able to show somebody this is what I plan to maintain in the next season of my life.

00:33:27.243 --> 00:33:33.263
You have to be able to say, hey, this is what I've discovered about my purpose and my identity.

00:33:33.263 --> 00:33:47.434
And these are things that I'm hoping to maintain, because what I've seen happen a lot of times, especially women in their mid, late 30s, early 40s, are like I gave it all up.

00:33:47.434 --> 00:33:50.428
I gave it all up.

00:33:50.428 --> 00:34:00.914
I didn't maintain myself, because I started taking on these other roles and I focused on maintaining everything else except for me.

00:34:00.914 --> 00:34:21.347
And so, at this age again, walk circumspectly, you know, like at this age, as I'm moving into new opportunities and new seasons and new things, I'm more aware of what I'm carrying than I was in my 20s Because I hadn't yet picked anything up.

00:34:21.347 --> 00:34:22.664
Yep, because I hadn't yet picked anything up.

00:34:22.664 --> 00:34:23.206
I was just you know.

00:34:23.286 --> 00:34:29.911
I think that there is a, that there is a theme in this movie of everybody has to start somewhere.

00:34:29.911 --> 00:34:30.822
Like you got.

00:34:30.822 --> 00:34:32.748
You got to start somewhere, you know.

00:34:32.748 --> 00:34:45.306
And so, like we are watching her starting place, you know, like she's fresh out of school, she has this really young relationship, just young, wild and free, you know, in the beginning.

00:34:45.306 --> 00:35:02.141
And we're watching her learn how to carry something, how to carry the weight of a responsibility, and she doesn't yet know how to balance that with other parts of herself and so she lets it take over and so everything.

00:35:02.141 --> 00:35:06.853
Every time you know that phone rings, she's like oh, I'm sorry, I don't have a choice.

00:35:06.853 --> 00:35:11.664
You know when she was with her dad oh sorry, dad, I don't have a choice.

00:35:11.704 --> 00:35:12.527
She was with a man.

00:35:12.760 --> 00:35:16.061
Oh, I'm sorry, I don't have a choice Like no, you have.

00:35:16.061 --> 00:35:28.436
You're allowing yourself and I think this is the point I made to Ruth Abigail is that you are allowing your life to be, uh, to be shaped by your ambition and not your purpose.

00:35:28.436 --> 00:35:52.235
Yes, Right, because if you, if your life is shaped by purpose, you find ways, because you find ways that other areas of purpose in your life connect to this thing, to this thing, right, and you find, and you allow yourself for to, to, to allow it to mold you, but not in a way that disrupts what's happening in other areas of your life.

00:35:52.235 --> 00:35:56.498
Right, but when you are being shaped by ambition, you become single focus.

00:36:01.980 --> 00:36:04.275
That's right, yeah, and you can't you, you, you can't do that and it not impact other people around you.

00:36:04.275 --> 00:36:21.228
Um, and I think you know we see that with her, her friends, her boyfriend and just the the, whether there's one, um, there's a line where her boyfriend tells her like it's, it's not I'm not gonna get the last isn't a quote, but just he basically says like it's not about, it's not what it's not about.

00:36:21.228 --> 00:36:22.289
Did you change?

00:36:22.289 --> 00:36:23.132
It's just.

00:36:23.132 --> 00:36:24.463
I just want you to own that.

00:36:24.463 --> 00:36:25.166
You've changed.

00:36:25.166 --> 00:36:28.931
Like, stop trying to pretend like you're the same person you were before.

00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:36.253
And and so I think one of the things that is important is to is to own your transformation.

00:36:36.253 --> 00:36:42.989
You're going to, you're going to change, you're going to transform it as you move forward in.

00:36:42.989 --> 00:36:47.849
Whatever the thing is you're in, you will change, for better or for worse.

00:36:47.849 --> 00:36:57.728
We all go through it, right, you will be introduced to a different version of yourself, depending on the opportunities, the moments, the season, the circumstance.

00:36:57.728 --> 00:37:04.827
Whatever you got to be introduced to this person, you got to own it, for better, for worse.

00:37:04.827 --> 00:37:12.206
Yeah, because it's not until you own it that you can actually move towards the next shift.

00:37:12.206 --> 00:37:27.902
Yeah, if you don't own it, then you'll be essentially circling around a reality that you refuse to face, yeah and and so that's and I think that's what he was trying to tell her like no, we all see the change.

00:37:27.902 --> 00:37:36.023
You have to own the change and you know that might mean that you lose me, that you like lose your friends, but this is who you are now Like.

00:37:36.023 --> 00:37:37.208
You have to own it.

00:37:37.679 --> 00:37:41.208
Right, and so that was his, and that was his biggest frustration.

00:37:41.208 --> 00:37:49.726
And in that moment, moment she made a decision, she made a choice she said well, maybe we need a little space.

00:37:49.927 --> 00:37:53.802
I'm following my ambition and I don't think that's a bad thing.

00:37:53.802 --> 00:37:56.829
I just think it's something that you have to, that you have to own.

00:37:56.829 --> 00:38:01.525
Yeah, you just it's okay, like, if that's your choice, that's your choice.

00:38:01.525 --> 00:38:07.715
Um, she chose that and it served her in one area of her life.

00:38:07.715 --> 00:38:12.170
It propelled her forward in her career.

00:38:12.170 --> 00:38:16.219
It killed her relationship, but it propelled her forward in her career.

00:38:17.943 --> 00:38:34.550
I think when she made that decision of we need more space, decision of we need more space, it I think she was also knowing, like there are things I'm encountering, people and opportunities that can fill the space that you once were in.

00:38:34.550 --> 00:38:37.960
You get what I'm saying, like she.

00:38:37.960 --> 00:38:40.606
She didn't because she left too easy.

00:38:40.606 --> 00:38:42.248
She wasn't.

00:38:42.248 --> 00:38:44.032
Let's sit, let's talk about it.

00:38:44.072 --> 00:38:45.153
Let's think about it.

00:38:45.153 --> 00:38:47.195
She wasn't super distraught about it.

00:38:47.195 --> 00:38:47.478
No, she was.

00:38:48.344 --> 00:38:50.867
She was like hey, why don't we take a little break?

00:38:50.867 --> 00:39:07.849
I'm okay, Like she, like you know what I'm saying, I'm not even going to speak that over you, but if someone were in like a serious, committed relationship, right, and they were like, hey, you changed and it's impacting the relationship, you know what I'm saying.

00:39:07.849 --> 00:39:11.481
If you really want that relationship, right, you know.

00:39:11.481 --> 00:39:30.416
But because she hadn't yet dealt with who she was becoming, right, it wasn't until she came to the moment where she was like, oh, I don't actually want to be the person that I was on the road to becoming, exactly that she could even go back to him, that's right, because he did not fit where she was going.

00:39:30.416 --> 00:39:46.163
No, them little grilled cheeses was only gonna get him so far, although that grilled cheese, I will say I do think about that movie every time I make a grilled cheese really this movie is just not, you don't, you don't, you don't believe in the movie.

00:39:46.623 --> 00:39:49.371
Okay, so I just wow.

00:39:49.472 --> 00:39:51.960
I just didn't realize how impactful this movie was to people.

00:39:51.960 --> 00:39:54.885
I just to the rest of the world yes, I'm still not convinced of that.

00:39:54.885 --> 00:40:04.177
But uh, but no, I, I, he was not on, he was not on the same path and they, they, they were not going in the same direction.

00:40:04.177 --> 00:40:05.460
And I think you make a great point.

00:40:05.460 --> 00:40:19.132
Like it wasn't until she saw herself and her potential future in miranda that she said that ain't what I want, that ain't what I want, but she had to get there, yeah it was.

00:40:19.331 --> 00:40:25.731
It was when because the entire time mir, miranda was surprisingly mentoring her.

00:40:25.731 --> 00:40:30.391
Yeah, like she didn't realize it, but Miranda was making decisions.

00:40:30.391 --> 00:40:52.626
Miranda saw something in her and said I can mold that, I can get her to where I am, and she has the raw material that I can use to build another mini me, mini me, exactly.

00:40:52.626 --> 00:40:58.510
And so Miranda was like why don't you tell Emily she can't go to Paris, right?

00:40:58.510 --> 00:41:00.210
Was it because Miranda didn't want to do it or couldn't do it?

00:41:00.210 --> 00:41:02.532
No, was it because Miranda didn't want to do it or couldn't do it?

00:41:02.532 --> 00:41:13.096
No, it was because I see something in you and I can use this moment, right, to mold something in you to get you to your next level.

00:41:13.096 --> 00:41:14.157
Yes, right.

00:41:14.157 --> 00:41:15.476
And where did she end up going?

00:41:15.476 --> 00:41:16.297
She went to Paris.

00:41:16.297 --> 00:41:18.038
Her next level, yep, right.

00:41:27.041 --> 00:41:31.297
I also think, just as a little bonus point, the relationship between emily and andy, the yeah, the old assistant and the new one, like you know, the number one and the number two.

00:41:31.297 --> 00:41:31.920
I think it is.

00:41:31.920 --> 00:41:33.101
So it is.

00:41:33.101 --> 00:41:33.902
It is I.

00:41:33.902 --> 00:41:47.646
I read in that a message to middle adults, because if andy, I, I feel like Emily was still focused on herself I gotta get to Paris, I gotta da, da, da, da da.

00:41:47.646 --> 00:41:51.364
She was helping Andy along.

00:41:51.364 --> 00:41:59.117
But until middle adults realize that your role is no longer to be in the places and spaces and doing the things.

00:41:59.117 --> 00:42:04.867
Emily was over there facing real life, she like I forgot.

00:42:04.867 --> 00:42:07.068
Yeah, girl, we forget stuff in our middle of the year.

00:42:07.721 --> 00:42:11.715
Let that young adult, do that work.

00:42:11.936 --> 00:42:20.153
Yeah, okay, you have to learn how to pass the baton in a way that allows you.

00:42:20.153 --> 00:42:21.746
Emily was middle management.

00:42:21.746 --> 00:42:24.306
She was middle management.

00:42:24.347 --> 00:42:24.568
Yeah.

00:42:25.001 --> 00:42:38.465
You have to learn how to empower those new emerging professionals in a way that still secures your spot but it's still impacting and influencing who's coming behind you.

00:42:38.465 --> 00:42:40.965
Are you going to lose your spot trying to be?

00:42:40.985 --> 00:42:41.206
them.

00:42:41.206 --> 00:42:42.411
Well, you'll lose.

00:42:42.411 --> 00:42:44.474
You'll also lose your spot trying to impress people and that's what Emily was.

00:42:44.474 --> 00:42:44.994
She was still trying to be them Well, you'll lose.

00:42:44.994 --> 00:42:45.652
You'll also lose your spot trying to impress people.

00:42:45.652 --> 00:42:53.311
And and that's what Emily was she was still trying to be impressive to Miranda and trying to like please, miranda, be impressed.

00:42:53.311 --> 00:42:55.184
And, like you know, she has to see me do this.

00:42:55.184 --> 00:42:56.568
And what?

00:42:56.568 --> 00:43:10.224
What she didn't realize and what the, the, the blessing of the ignorance of andy was I'm buddy, what is the big deal like?

00:43:10.224 --> 00:43:11.628
We just we're doing this, it's not even like we just have to.

00:43:11.628 --> 00:43:21.204
She realized how hard the job was, but the idea of impressing somebody, you know, like miranda wasn't looking for people to impress her, that she was looking for people to perform.

00:43:21.204 --> 00:43:30.351
And, um, and what Emily was so concerned about was this I, she, I want to impress her, I want her, I want her to see that I'm worthy.

00:43:30.351 --> 00:43:32.784
And Andy came in knowing she was worthy.

00:43:32.784 --> 00:43:34.347
Talk about it, ruth.

00:43:34.608 --> 00:43:37.753
Talk, talk, talk talk about it.

00:43:37.960 --> 00:43:38.541
This is.

00:43:38.541 --> 00:43:39.543
This is the difference.

00:43:39.543 --> 00:43:40.807
This is the difference.

00:43:41.248 --> 00:44:06.833
I'm seeing so, but I'm seeing that I am seeing that we, the middle adults, we are struggling with that because you know, we all had our own Andy stories and they didn't move us along as as as Miranda was trying to move Andy along.

00:44:06.833 --> 00:44:13.797
You know, and I think I am watching as a lot of us have gotten hurt in the workplace.

00:44:13.797 --> 00:44:27.204
You know, like we, we think about all the things that didn't happen the way that they should have you know from supervisors, from mentors in those places, should have you know from supervisors, from mentors in those places.

00:44:27.204 --> 00:44:38.650
And we are going, I'm watching as people who are being elevated into positions still have this war within themselves of I got to show people that I deserve to be here Absolutely.

00:44:38.650 --> 00:44:42.244
I got to show people that I'm worthy of this opportunity.

00:44:42.724 --> 00:44:53.733
I got to prove to people because and we have this, and I think maybe this is just like a, you know, elder, millennial thing where we're like they never believed in us, they never believed in millennials.

00:44:53.733 --> 00:44:56.443
You know, they thought we were the throwaway generation.

00:44:56.443 --> 00:44:57.284
They really did.

00:44:57.284 --> 00:44:59.570
They was like these kids is terrible.

00:44:59.570 --> 00:45:09.894
They did Ever since, you know, I mean, and now and now they're kind of doing it the gen z, but I see them starting to like respect them a little bit and I'm like you never respected us.

00:45:09.914 --> 00:45:17.871
You know, we still got no respect, you know, but I, I, we, there is a a lot of.

00:45:17.871 --> 00:45:20.860
There's some pain there and I think that we have to.

00:45:20.860 --> 00:45:28.914
We got to deal with what we're carrying and because she didn't deal with what she carried, she missed her moment.

00:45:28.914 --> 00:45:41.753
Yep, she missed her moment because if she had handled, if she had handled Andy differently, you know, if she had seen her as an opportunity of I can be valuable in this place.

00:45:41.753 --> 00:45:55.425
Because I can be the developer, I can be the person that develops the new talent, yes, I can be the person that maintains the longevity of our team, yeah, I can be that person.

00:45:55.425 --> 00:46:10.112
And until you have to shift out of the I need, I want era to the I serve era, yes, and until you get to the place of service, you're going to lose your spot because these young whippersnappers- they can do it better than you.

00:46:10.193 --> 00:46:13.106
I'm about to say they are doers and they can do it better.

00:46:13.106 --> 00:46:28.715
And I think the thing and I think this is something that I hear, I've heard from a lot of people either, either either directly or indirectly it's this, this glorification of doing.

00:46:28.715 --> 00:46:31.045
I do so much.

00:46:31.045 --> 00:46:33.050
You don't see how much I do.

00:46:33.050 --> 00:46:42.672
I, you know I ought to be paid for more because I do X, Y, Z, and the reality is, doing is not impressive.

00:46:42.672 --> 00:46:46.548
Here's the reality is most people can do what you can do.

00:46:46.548 --> 00:46:48.987
Yeah, that's just the truth.

00:46:49.483 --> 00:46:50.498
Or I can teach them quite quickly.

00:46:50.900 --> 00:46:54.425
Or you can learn how to do it right, or somebody can teach somebody else how to do it.

00:46:54.425 --> 00:47:00.693
For sure, doing is actually the lowest level of value add in an organization.

00:47:00.693 --> 00:47:04.610
You doing more doesn't prove that you're worth more.

00:47:05.260 --> 00:47:06.324
Man, wait a minute.

00:47:06.324 --> 00:47:19.385
Wait a minute, say that because, oh my, I thought of three people right now I want to send that to Say that because it's people you trying to get promotions, you trying to get, you trying to get to your next level.

00:47:19.385 --> 00:47:24.311
You're like I need to, I need to be in this new spot, right?

00:47:24.311 --> 00:47:27.581
And so what do you do?

00:47:27.581 --> 00:47:29.105
You, hey, give me more responsibility, I'm gonna do more.

00:47:29.105 --> 00:47:29.887
I'm gonna do more.

00:47:29.907 --> 00:47:33.074
Okay, add to my list, yes, and you're.

00:47:33.074 --> 00:47:34.485
You know what your employer is thinking.

00:47:34.485 --> 00:47:37.876
They thinking like great, yeah, cool, all right, here you go.

00:47:37.876 --> 00:47:42.228
Awesome, put this in the other duties, as you know.

00:47:42.228 --> 00:47:55.315
I'm saying like thank you, okay, because you doing more does not make you, uh, does not put you in a better position to be at a higher level.

00:47:55.315 --> 00:47:58.001
No, it does not make me trust you more.

00:47:58.001 --> 00:48:00.126
No, that makes me use you more.

00:48:00.246 --> 00:48:02.431
That's it it does not make me.

00:48:02.431 --> 00:48:12.342
It does not make me say you know, I want to invest in the doer because the here's the secret, friend, the higher you get up the chain, the less you're actually doing.

00:48:12.342 --> 00:48:17.876
Okay, you're, you're, you're now paid because of your insight.

00:48:17.876 --> 00:48:22.706
You're paid for your ability to impact and influence people and systems.

00:48:22.706 --> 00:48:25.853
You are not paid because you can do the labor.

00:48:25.853 --> 00:48:26.634
That's right.

00:48:26.634 --> 00:48:37.141
When you think about, like on a construction site, right, the foreman, he pointing hey, you, yeah, yeah, get that up there, you know.

00:48:37.141 --> 00:48:42.650
Think about the person making the blueprints, they getting paid more than anybody else on the team.

00:48:43.161 --> 00:48:44.708
And all they did was draw it out.

00:48:44.708 --> 00:48:45.943
Because of what?

00:48:45.943 --> 00:48:49.811
So I think the question is how do I know I'm adding more value?

00:48:49.811 --> 00:48:51.394
You don't.

00:48:51.394 --> 00:48:54.224
You don't add more value because you do more.

00:48:54.224 --> 00:48:56.987
You add more value because you know more.

00:48:56.987 --> 00:49:08.661
You have to become a learner and a communicator of knowledge, that's the secret sauce for the next role.

00:49:09.831 --> 00:49:12.721
You have to learn how to learn and communicate.

00:49:12.721 --> 00:49:29.784
If those are things that take a lot longer to develop, um, and you, you, you those are the things that make you ready to manage and have more of a level of responsibility is when you can, when you know more.

00:49:29.784 --> 00:49:33.454
So the thing you go back to Emily right, Emily knew a lot.

00:49:33.454 --> 00:49:38.898
What she didn't do was communicate it well, she didn't communicate her knowledge.

00:49:39.570 --> 00:49:44.460
She did what she saw Andy couldn't do, instead of telling her how to do it.

00:49:44.460 --> 00:49:49.998
Talk about it, right, that's the difference, and and so for.

00:49:49.998 --> 00:49:55.483
For those who are like because there might be some of y'all and I've been there, right, like I didn't.

00:49:55.483 --> 00:50:00.721
This was not, this wasn't a revelation until you know, a few years ago, where it's like.

00:50:00.721 --> 00:50:07.998
For those of you that are like man, I'm, I'm killing myself doing stuff Like I'm and I'm I'm the best at what I do, and you probably are.

00:50:09.561 --> 00:50:15.679
But what you're the the the ceiling is not as a result of you not being good at what you do.

00:50:15.679 --> 00:50:23.695
The ceiling is you have a lack of you, there's a lack of knowledge, there's there's stuff you don't know and you aren't.

00:50:23.695 --> 00:50:26.458
There are gaps in your communication.

00:50:26.458 --> 00:50:30.802
Those two things are what you need to work on.

00:50:30.802 --> 00:50:42.951
So if you are wondering, how do I move to the next level, get more knowledge and learn how to communicate, do that.

00:50:42.951 --> 00:50:43.652
You can move to the next level.

00:50:43.652 --> 00:50:46.059
Now, obviously, you still have to perform and do the things that you need to do.

00:50:46.059 --> 00:50:51.233
Um, but like quita said, that the doing list gets smaller but the knowledge list gets bigger.

00:50:51.233 --> 00:50:56.005
So now your brain is doing the work, not your hands as much.

00:50:56.005 --> 00:51:01.000
And when you that that is a harder, that's a harder muscle to discipline is your brain.

00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:03.427
Yeah, um, and so that's a harder muscle to discipline is your brain, um, and so that's what.

00:51:03.527 --> 00:51:22.097
and so when people see that you have, you can discipline your mind to understand, to move um to, to attain knowledge and to communicate it out in a way that's going to impact other people around you, and multiply the impact because of what you know and how you communicate.

00:51:22.097 --> 00:51:24.021
Then you can go to the next level.

00:51:24.021 --> 00:51:25.195
That's when your influence grows.

00:51:26.110 --> 00:51:29.239
And so I think that was Emily's mistake.

00:51:29.239 --> 00:51:33.635
Like you're doing too much, man, everything she does, you can't do it.

00:51:33.635 --> 00:51:36.396
Oh, just let me give it to me, give it to me, give it to me.

00:51:36.396 --> 00:51:48.831
And let me just say this real quick what Andy did was she learned, she learned and she understood okay.

00:51:48.831 --> 00:51:50.355
So what is it gonna take me to get this book?

00:51:50.355 --> 00:51:53.722
Okay, so now I got, I got the book.

00:51:54.543 --> 00:52:31.077
So that must mean I'm doing something right yeah you, you know, I'm saying like there were, there were notches and her learning that shifted, you know, and I think we, we realized when she, when she brought her to the um, to the function where she had to meet all these people, and andy did her homework, she was like that's who that is and she about doing I'm learning and learning, and I think take andy took a weight off like she started.

00:52:31.217 --> 00:52:32.721
She started and that's.

00:52:32.721 --> 00:52:34.425
Let me tell you something.

00:52:34.425 --> 00:52:40.456
And in the last position that I had, in the position I'm in now, I don't lead nobody, I kind of miss it, right.

00:52:40.456 --> 00:53:06.036
But in the last position that I had, the reason why I prized my team was because they they carry the weight of their position so well that I was then able to go in and create a vision for how we could go further and higher and do things better and be more efficient, and I was able to counsel and mentor.

00:53:06.036 --> 00:53:08.222
Because that's what we're looking for.

00:53:08.222 --> 00:53:19.740
Yes, we're looking for people who are going to take their role and take the weight of it and move it and then allow us to impact what they're moving.

00:53:19.740 --> 00:53:20.362
There it is.

00:53:20.362 --> 00:53:21.103
That's right.

00:53:21.731 --> 00:53:24.637
Versus, this is not listen, not listen.

00:53:24.637 --> 00:53:28.456
Now were there times where I had to say, okay, listen, we're gonna carry this together.

00:53:28.456 --> 00:53:34.867
Yes, there were times where because I, you know, I'm that type of leader where I'm all right, listen, listen, I'm with you.

00:53:34.867 --> 00:53:37.393
We in the trenches, let's roll right.

00:53:37.393 --> 00:53:43.681
But the the best times was watching them say you know what?

00:53:43.681 --> 00:53:49.817
I'm going to try this because I think I'm understanding how this works now.

00:53:49.817 --> 00:53:58.134
So I know how to move and navigate this thing to make it better, because I didn't teach them how to be good at their jobs.

00:53:58.134 --> 00:53:59.996
I taught them how to be.

00:53:59.996 --> 00:54:07.195
I taught them how to be good thinkers and good problem solvers Right, and so now you can go.

00:54:07.195 --> 00:54:08.018
You know what I'm saying.

00:54:08.018 --> 00:54:12.652
If you are in campus programming, you're not trying to stay in that forever, I told.

00:54:12.652 --> 00:54:15.500
I told my programmers, I said there's a time limit to this.

00:54:15.500 --> 00:54:18.016
Nobody programs for life.

00:54:18.016 --> 00:54:21.335
No, it's too tiring, it's too hard on the body.

00:54:21.494 --> 00:54:26.516
Yeah, for real, nobody's a youth leader for life.

00:54:26.516 --> 00:54:33.244
It's like the life cycle of a youth person who works directly with young people is 18 months.

00:54:33.244 --> 00:54:35.409
It's not even a full two years.

00:54:35.409 --> 00:54:40.396
18 months is crazy, it is, and so it's not even a full two years.

00:54:40.396 --> 00:54:41.340
Two years is a gift.

00:54:41.340 --> 00:54:45.813
Three is a freaking miracle, right, because it is hard.

00:54:45.813 --> 00:54:47.675
But I like what you said.

00:54:47.675 --> 00:54:51.458
You've got to teach people how to think, and I think that.

00:54:51.458 --> 00:55:03.851
But I just and to dispel, one of the things I try to tell my team, you know, is I'm it is more valuable to me, for you, you.

00:55:03.851 --> 00:55:06.119
I need you to become decision makers.

00:55:06.119 --> 00:55:10.501
I need you to know enough to make a decision I don't have to make.

00:55:10.501 --> 00:55:13.719
That's that is valuable to me, right?

00:55:13.719 --> 00:55:22.909
It's not, it's not doing more stuff, it's doing things, the doing is like like hey, you doing more stuff is more work for me this really is

00:55:22.929 --> 00:55:23.791
just part of your job.

00:55:23.791 --> 00:55:25.371
I expect you to do this stuff.

00:55:25.371 --> 00:55:26.472
I don't.

00:55:26.472 --> 00:55:28.432
I don't like that's part of the job description.

00:55:28.432 --> 00:55:29.393
You should be doing it.

00:55:29.393 --> 00:55:30.873
That's not impressive.

00:55:30.873 --> 00:55:31.833
What's it?

00:55:31.833 --> 00:55:34.516
What's impressive is to the result.

00:55:34.516 --> 00:55:40.298
If the result is beyond what I'm expecting, I'm asking you what did you do to get that result?

00:55:40.298 --> 00:55:42.619
I'm asking you, what did you do to get that result?

00:55:42.619 --> 00:55:55.606
And the knowledge that you have to now move at a pace that is actually outpacing my direction.

00:55:56.445 --> 00:55:56.927
Yes.

00:55:57.467 --> 00:55:58.166
You don't need it.

00:55:58.166 --> 00:56:00.588
Yeah, Go right.

00:56:00.969 --> 00:56:01.050
Yeah.

00:56:01.070 --> 00:56:08.193
That shows me that you've learned something more than I'm doing this, I'm doing this, I'm doing this, I'm doing that.

00:56:08.193 --> 00:56:09.436
That's great.

00:56:09.436 --> 00:56:10.478
I love that.

00:56:10.478 --> 00:56:11.679
I love that.

00:56:11.679 --> 00:56:17.938
Thank you, yeah, I love that.

00:56:17.938 --> 00:56:43.619
I think that's really good for you, but for the organization, right, and I think that's what people I do think that's what people need to unlearn Younger leaders that do the things you're supposed to do, but put your energy into learning and put your energy into knowledge and listen to the things that your other peers aren't listening to and ask questions that they're not asking.

00:56:43.619 --> 00:56:48.958
Yeah, uh, that that's that's gonna put you in a different position, for sure you know.

00:56:48.958 --> 00:56:53.052
Um, okay, so who we haven't, who we, who haven't we covered?

00:56:54.175 --> 00:56:59.032
uh, so I think we've done boyfriend anything else on nigel, I like nigel.

00:56:59.032 --> 00:57:00.773
No, I think I do too.

00:57:00.773 --> 00:57:05.438
Yeah, I think the end when he didn't get the job.

00:57:05.438 --> 00:57:19.784
I think that was when the alarm bell started ringing off, because she realized when he didn't get the job, and then he was like, yeah, you know, she'll get me on the next one.

00:57:19.784 --> 00:57:22.878
And she was like, really, you think so.

00:57:22.878 --> 00:57:33.574
And then she saw him sitting complacent yes, you know what I'm saying Like, but still waiting After everything, he'd given up.

00:57:33.574 --> 00:57:36.452
You know, he was like I'm finally going to be able to just enjoy Paris.

00:57:36.452 --> 00:57:38.777
Like, bro, you've been in this, in this world.

00:57:38.777 --> 00:57:41.344
How long you come to Paris every year?

00:57:41.344 --> 00:57:43.108
Yeah, and they work.

00:57:43.108 --> 00:57:48.161
You, you know what I'm saying and I think, I think there's just so many examples.

00:57:48.161 --> 00:57:54.601
Um, but nigel was also a transformative figure in her life and you need people.

00:57:54.601 --> 00:57:56.510
I will say one thing I was mad about in the movie.

00:57:56.510 --> 00:58:03.344
Okay, in the end, when she, you know, is is, uh, interviewing with what?

00:58:03.364 --> 00:58:14.679
the chicago tribune or something like that anyway she's back in her in her, in her old clothes, right, and I'm like absolutely not, oh lord, absolutely not, all right you're supposed to.

00:58:14.679 --> 00:58:17.730
You're supposed to eat the meat and spit out the bone.

00:58:17.730 --> 00:58:20.675
Okay, you was looking good.

00:58:20.675 --> 00:58:24.682
You don't go back and be like, but this is who I really am.

00:58:24.742 --> 00:58:25.483
No, man also.

00:58:25.483 --> 00:58:27.215
Weren't those clothes not hers?

00:58:27.215 --> 00:58:29.440
Though, now that I'm thinking about it, didn't she get them from?

00:58:29.550 --> 00:58:36.670
she gave them to emily oh, she gave all the stuff, that's right that's right, that's right yeah that's right.

00:58:36.690 --> 00:58:39.496
Oh no, yeah, that was a choice and it was like girl.

00:58:39.556 --> 00:58:42.221
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:58:42.221 --> 00:58:44.605
Eat the meat, spit out the bone.

00:58:44.605 --> 00:58:47.458
You were supposed to keep a little bit of fashion.

00:58:48.670 --> 00:58:53.963
Meet me halfway, you know what I'm saying Meet me halfway, yeah, well, no, all right.

00:58:53.963 --> 00:58:54.911
Well, you know.

00:58:54.911 --> 00:58:56.536
With that.

00:58:56.536 --> 00:58:58.380
I'm sorry, did I interrupt you?

00:58:58.782 --> 00:58:59.182
No, you're good.

00:59:04.449 --> 00:59:49.902
So, with that, I do think that this other relationship that we've kind of we haven't said directly is this relationship with old annie and old andy and new andy, right, and there is a, you know, like a relationship that you have to develop with your new self, and I think that the, the, the the interesting part about old andy and Andy is the thread of the values that you carry across your transformation remain in every shift of your or every part of your person that's revealed in different seasons of your life.

00:59:49.902 --> 00:59:51.527
You're continuing to discover you.

00:59:51.527 --> 00:59:53.454
You're continuing to uncover who you are.

00:59:53.454 --> 00:59:56.583
How do you ensure that those values remain?

00:59:56.583 --> 01:00:04.829
And I think it's an important question to ask so that you don't lose yourself right Through your transformation.

01:00:05.130 --> 01:00:14.860
You don't transform into 10 different people, you just transform more into who you really are, and the through line of that has to be your value system.

01:00:14.860 --> 01:00:17.458
So I think the first thing you got to do is you got to know what they are.

01:00:17.458 --> 01:00:27.715
You got to know your values to begin with, right, yeah, um, I think it's also important that you keep people close to you who reflect those values.

01:00:27.715 --> 01:00:33.070
Make sure that your community reflects the values that you really have.

01:00:33.070 --> 01:00:42.672
I think you also need to ask for feedback from that community yeah, you know I'm saying giving out gifts and, and they were, I think.

01:00:42.693 --> 01:00:54.541
I think also you know when they started talking, but they, they didn't start talking until she was too deep in you know you need people who walk, currently Exactly.

01:00:54.541 --> 01:01:03.128
You know, it wasn't until she was, you know, squirreled up with another man at the art show that her best friend was like I don't recognize you, who are you?

01:01:03.329 --> 01:01:21.590
yeah, like girl wait a minute, you saw, that when I gave you that bag because you didn't see, and and also and also, you accepted that bag with open arms you were more than happy for me to be in the position I was at this, you know, and so it's like I ain't gonna lie that I took that bag of course you take the bag.

01:01:21.590 --> 01:01:22.436
You take the bag, you take the bag off.

01:01:22.436 --> 01:01:22.677
You do both.

01:01:22.697 --> 01:01:23.420
Yeah, you'd be, I'd have took that bag.

01:01:23.420 --> 01:01:24.306
Of course you take the bag, you take the bag.

01:01:24.327 --> 01:01:24.668
You also tell off.

01:01:24.668 --> 01:01:24.909
You do both.

01:01:24.909 --> 01:01:27.876
You be like, hey, give me that bag, Now listen you're changing.

01:01:29.090 --> 01:01:32.735
Something's not right, but it's a nice bag.

01:01:32.735 --> 01:01:33.898
They got some more of these.

01:01:33.898 --> 01:01:35.449
Keep getting these bags.

01:01:37.083 --> 01:01:37.750
Bring me a few more.

01:01:38.452 --> 01:01:42.715
That was a nice bag, but you do.

01:01:42.715 --> 01:01:46.617
You need feedback from your community, because you won't know off.

01:01:46.617 --> 01:01:50.856
I mean, you have blind spots, so you need people that are gonna expose your blind spots, right, yeah.

01:01:50.856 --> 01:01:53.632
And then when they give you that feedback, like accept it, don't reject it.

01:01:53.632 --> 01:02:10.485
And then I think the last thing that is important is and this is just, this is something I've, I don't know I feel like I this, it's like keep some of the same activities that you used to do in your life, like I actually just heard.

01:02:10.630 --> 01:02:18.454
I heard this in a podcast, I forgot who it was, but, um, somebody who's who's you know, kind of risen in the ranks very high.

01:02:18.454 --> 01:02:24.103
If I said the name, you'd know it if I remembered it, but, like it's, it was like you know, how do you stay humble?

01:02:24.103 --> 01:02:43.239
And one of the things he said was when I come home, um, from my traveling and I'm speaking to thousands of people and I'm known and I go on his private jets, I do all this stuff and when I come home, I cut my own grass, right, it's like, do something the same.

01:02:43.239 --> 01:02:47.811
Right, it's like do something's the same.

01:02:47.851 --> 01:02:56.817
don't change everything about what you do when you get to your next level because, you got to remain grounded somehow, right, yeah, or or you know, or I'm, I do the dishes I'll have, I don't.

01:02:56.817 --> 01:02:59.791
You know, I'm not, I'm not gonna hire somebody to do, I'm gonna do the dishes.

01:02:59.791 --> 01:03:03.036
Right, I'm gonna do my laundry, whatever you know.

01:03:03.498 --> 01:03:04.440
So that you remain.

01:03:04.500 --> 01:03:06.282
I'm gonna hire somebody you see what I'm saying.

01:03:06.282 --> 01:03:09.195
You see, that's why that's what that's, and that's why, jaquita, you gonna stay right there.

01:03:09.215 --> 01:03:10.699
I'm just joking you know what I?

01:03:10.699 --> 01:03:13.855
I would clean my bathrooms okay.

01:03:13.875 --> 01:03:14.775
So okay, there you go.

01:03:14.775 --> 01:03:16.059
I I would cook.

01:03:16.059 --> 01:03:18.251
I'm not gonna, I wouldn't hire a chef.

01:03:18.251 --> 01:03:20.998
No, I'll say that back, I'll cook.

01:03:21.440 --> 01:03:21.942
I would totally.

01:03:21.942 --> 01:03:26.856
That sounds great, because then I'm gonna leave the dishes.

01:03:26.856 --> 01:03:28.882
That's the only thing that keeps me from cooking.

01:03:28.882 --> 01:03:31.010
As much is because it's delicious.

01:03:31.010 --> 01:03:32.795
Yeah, it really is.

01:03:33.418 --> 01:03:35.644
I, I, I, I enjoy the cooking.

01:03:35.644 --> 01:03:43.782
I would definitely do that and I probably would drive myself places because even though I don't like driving it, would it?

01:03:43.822 --> 01:03:44.443
would you know?

01:03:44.443 --> 01:03:46.516
It's like let's just, let's just keep that.

01:03:46.516 --> 01:03:56.014
So like, and this is obviously if we, you know, and we're talking about, if we get to a level where we're taking private jets and doing all this stuff which, you know, I'm not even really that interested in.

01:03:56.014 --> 01:04:03.217
So but if, but just to keep you humble, you should keep the same activities that you had.

01:04:03.217 --> 01:04:06.923
That can remind you of who you really are.

01:04:06.923 --> 01:04:08.673
Like I'm not, I'm not sitting here and change.

01:04:08.673 --> 01:04:12.952
So like, I think that for Andy, that that's, that's important and I'm.

01:04:12.952 --> 01:04:15.518
I think it might be why she gave those clothes away.

01:04:15.518 --> 01:04:17.170
She was like you know what?

01:04:17.170 --> 01:04:19.456
No, I'm keeping that.

01:04:19.896 --> 01:04:24.597
This is me and I'm okay with that, but go get yourself some better ones.

01:04:24.777 --> 01:04:26.894
Okay, well, I feel like she was, I feel like it was better.

01:04:26.894 --> 01:04:32.829
No, I don't know, I really wasn't paying attention, I know you wasn't At all.

01:04:32.849 --> 01:04:36.836
Nevertheless, I think again.

01:04:36.836 --> 01:04:41.985
I think something that I think this movie really brought to mind.

01:04:41.985 --> 01:04:49.155
You know, when we think about they talk about how, like you know, that job don't really care about you, like they will replace you.

01:04:49.155 --> 01:04:53.059
You know, like everyone is replaceable.

01:04:53.059 --> 01:04:55.686
You know, like I think you have to.

01:04:55.686 --> 01:05:00.677
Also, you can't make yourself replaceable, and I think that that's where Andy got to.

01:05:00.677 --> 01:05:07.826
I think Andy said I can't replace myself with a version of somebody that I don't recognize.

01:05:07.826 --> 01:05:15.085
There you go, and you have to get to a moment in a time in your life where you say they would replace me.

01:05:15.085 --> 01:05:16.489
I can't replace myself.

01:05:16.489 --> 01:05:19.507
Yeah, I'm not disposable to myself.

01:05:19.648 --> 01:05:19.949
That's right.

01:05:19.969 --> 01:05:27.534
So I can't give up my values, I can't give up my purpose, I can't give up my identity trying to chase after a carrot.

01:05:27.534 --> 01:05:31.684
I have to allow myself, and that's going to require you.

01:05:31.684 --> 01:05:53.911
I think there are just areas in all of our lives where we have to become sober, and I think the moment where she realized that the person that she had been looking at was the person she was becoming, because the people that you are spending the most time with at your job I'm sorry, I just had a realization they will end up.

01:05:53.911 --> 01:05:57.452
You will end up looking more like them than you, absolutely.

01:05:57.472 --> 01:05:58.592
You imagine 100%.

01:05:58.592 --> 01:06:00.034
It is foolish, it is foolish.

01:06:01.014 --> 01:06:13.219
It is foolish for us to go into places thinking that we are going to be the greater influence and not consider that there are things around us that are also influencing us as well.

01:06:13.219 --> 01:06:14.740
One hundred percent it is.

01:06:14.740 --> 01:06:19.503
It is foolish for you to go in thinking it's going to be a one way street and I'm not going to be impacted.

01:06:19.503 --> 01:06:20.784
That's correct.

01:06:20.784 --> 01:06:36.510
When I got to the institution that I work for now, I was overwhelmed by the culture, because the culture is we're the best.

01:06:36.510 --> 01:06:44.976
You know, we do things in an air of excellence, you know, and we always strive to be number one and on top.

01:06:44.976 --> 01:06:45.358
You know.

01:06:45.358 --> 01:06:56.956
And so you're in that culture and you're striving to get things to a certain level and to make it the best Not the best it can be, but the best in comparison to anything else.

01:06:56.956 --> 01:07:07.164
Adopting that philosophy, you also adopt the subconscious mindset that's fueling you.

01:07:07.164 --> 01:07:11.248
That's also saying you're not good enough yet, yeah.

01:07:11.248 --> 01:07:18.775
And so you stay in a constant state of I'm not enough, we're not enough, what we're doing is not enough.

01:07:18.775 --> 01:07:20.275
Yeah, we need to be doing more.

01:07:20.275 --> 01:07:26.612
Yeah, enough, we need to be doing more.

01:07:26.612 --> 01:07:30.744
And I think, if we all took a step back, examine the culture of the places that you're spending the most time in Examine the culture.

01:07:30.744 --> 01:07:36.800
What is the ideology that they're pushing and what mindset has that built on the inside of you?

01:07:36.800 --> 01:07:45.664
You have to know that and I think we all need to take some sobering moments with where we are so that we can reevaluate.

01:07:45.710 --> 01:07:46.916
I'm not telling you to quit your job.

01:07:46.916 --> 01:07:48.795
Ok, y'all not going to go on.

01:07:48.795 --> 01:07:50.092
Y'all not going to go nowhere.

01:07:50.092 --> 01:07:54.382
And tell nobody that the Unlearned podcast told you to walk away from nothing.

01:07:54.382 --> 01:07:56.998
No, no, no, no, no, no.

01:07:56.998 --> 01:08:00.655
But you need to evaluate what have I given up?

01:08:00.655 --> 01:08:03.722
And did I give up more than I gained?

01:08:03.722 --> 01:08:10.217
Yeah, and I think that's that was the point that Andy got to that she gave up more than what she was getting.

01:08:10.217 --> 01:08:13.315
That's right, and she got herself back on track.

01:08:13.315 --> 01:08:17.159
And terrible clothes, but she got herself back on track.

01:08:17.421 --> 01:08:19.109
That was part of the journey she just needed.

01:08:19.109 --> 01:08:21.578
She needed to find herself again, and them clothes was part of it.

01:08:21.578 --> 01:08:29.210
I understand you, andy, I get it.

01:08:29.210 --> 01:08:29.390
I get it.

01:08:29.390 --> 01:08:29.891
I know you do, I get it.

01:08:29.891 --> 01:08:30.271
Um all right folks.

01:08:30.271 --> 01:08:30.733
Well, there you have it.

01:08:30.733 --> 01:08:40.497
Devil wears prada um a classic to some, not to me a classic to all but a what in the world, but a great movie and with lots to learn from.

01:08:40.497 --> 01:08:42.621
So there you, you have it.

01:08:42.942 --> 01:08:44.385
Listen, I got another challenge.

01:08:44.385 --> 01:08:52.465
If you are in the Ruth Abigail camp and you say a Devil Wears Prada is not a classic, which probably two of y'all have, oh stop.

01:08:52.465 --> 01:08:55.880
Tell us what movie supersedes it as a classic.

01:08:56.730 --> 01:09:00.481
Wait, don't say that, because there's a ton of movies that superseded as a classic.

01:09:00.890 --> 01:09:05.192
Tell me, what would you put in its place In Devil Wears Prada me.

01:09:05.192 --> 01:09:06.695
What would you put in its place?

01:09:06.695 --> 01:09:07.759
And devil wears prada.

01:09:07.759 --> 01:09:09.483
What would you put in in that place?

01:09:09.483 --> 01:09:10.987
In that genre, in that, in that?

01:09:11.027 --> 01:09:11.448
type of movie.

01:09:11.448 --> 01:09:12.931
What would you put in this place?

01:09:12.931 --> 01:09:14.296
What kind of, what genre is this?

01:09:15.600 --> 01:09:20.493
I mean just in like the themes of the movie um there.

01:09:20.493 --> 01:09:21.716
No, I don't want you to answer?

01:09:21.716 --> 01:09:26.104
Oh, okay, I oh okay, so y'all let us know in the comments.

01:09:26.104 --> 01:09:30.137
Okay, if you are of the persuasion that is not a classic.

01:09:30.137 --> 01:09:31.782
What have you put in its place?

01:09:31.782 --> 01:09:33.515
There we go, so that I can judge it.

01:09:36.810 --> 01:09:38.354
Don't let your quitter deter y'all.

01:09:38.354 --> 01:09:39.217
Tell the truth.

01:09:39.217 --> 01:09:40.301
All right y'all.

01:09:40.301 --> 01:09:45.279
Thank y'all again for listening Once again to this episode.

01:09:45.279 --> 01:09:56.042
We are going to continue this series, so check us out next week and until then, let's keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom, Peace.

01:09:56.042 --> 01:10:03.801
Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast.

01:10:03.801 --> 01:10:07.981
We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.

01:10:07.981 --> 01:10:14.703
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.

01:10:14.703 --> 01:10:21.043
We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

01:10:21.043 --> 01:10:27.304
See you then.