June 24, 2025

Unlearning Toy Story

Unlearning Toy Story

Send us a text We explore leadership lessons from Pixar's Toy Story in this episode of our Summer Movies series, examining how disruption and change affect team dynamics and leadership development. • Teams typically go through four developmental stages: forming, storming, norming, and performing • Disruption (like Buzz arriving) moves teams from norming back to storming - a necessary part of growth • Leaders must avoid seeing talented newcomers as threats rather than assets • The development...

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Send us a text

We explore leadership lessons from Pixar's Toy Story in this episode of our Summer Movies series, examining how disruption and change affect team dynamics and leadership development.

• Teams typically go through four developmental stages: forming, storming, norming, and performing
• Disruption (like Buzz arriving) moves teams from norming back to storming - a necessary part of growth
• Leaders must avoid seeing talented newcomers as threats rather than assets
• The developmental leader framework shows four stages: enthusiastic beginner, disillusioned learner, capable but cautious performer, and self-reliant achiever
• Leadership development is cyclical - we go through these stages repeatedly with different skills and challenges
• Middle adults should consider if they've neglected personal growth while focusing on career development
• Being willing to become a beginner again in some area of life can foster growth and joy
• True leadership influence comes when focused on building others up, not just delivering "truth"
• The journey from potential to greatness often leads back to potential in new areas

Like, share, and subscribe to be part of our community and invite others who are growth-minded leaders seeking more freedom in their lives and leadership.


00:00 - Summer Movie Series Introduction

05:42 - Team Dynamics in Toy Story

18:43 - Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing

34:17 - Woody's Leadership Crisis

50:25 - Developmental Leader Framework

01:04:22 - From Enthusiastic Beginners to Disillusioned Learners

01:16:00 - Capable but Cautious Performers

01:20:40 - Self-Reliant Achievers and Continuous Growth

WEBVTT

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hello everybody and welcome once again to the unlearned podcast.

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I'm your host, ruth abigail aka ra.

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What's up, friends?

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It's your girl, jaquita and this is the podcast that's helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that you yes, you can experience more for freedom.

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And we are in our summer series, Summer movies.

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Do your song Summer summer summertime, summertime, summertime.

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That's become my little thing.

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Oh my goodness.

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And it's also not my song.

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It was written by the Fresh Prince.

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Sure got it.

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I think, sure.

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Ruth Abigail, did you not know that?

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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That sure, that sure sounded unsteady.

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It sounded girl.

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Y'all, please excuse her.

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Here's what I did know.

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I did know you didn't write it.

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I knew that.

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Girl, how do you not know Summertime?

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It is the epic Summertime song.

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I'm sorry I've disappointed you in that.

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I'm so disappointed.

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That is been our little mini theme song for this particular series, where we've been looking at movies from our childhood and seeing what we can unlearn about leadership and growth and freedom.

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Yay, all right.

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So yeah, we're gonna, we're done we're sorry what I do okay, all right, uh.

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So before we get started, as always, we would love for you to like share share, subscribe, um, we want you to be a part of this community and invite others to be a part.

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Um.

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If you know people who are growth minded, who are leaders, who want to um find more freedom in their life and their leadership, this is the place for them.

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Guys, this is the place, and so we want you then to be a part.

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We want you to be a part, want you to share it, and yeah, so don't keep it to yourself.

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Share it, give it away.

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Give it away.

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Okay, you can't hold it Be generous, you can't hold it Be open-handed.

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If it's doing something for you, it can do something for somebody else too.

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Come on, okay, go ahead and share it.

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Go ahead and share it.

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Go ahead and share it.

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Okay, so today is, I believe, a fan favorite.

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It is a classic.

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Classic, classic, and we're back in animated land we are.

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We're back in animated land we foray there with Lion King.

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Yes, okay, which, okay, which is the ultimate animated classic like it rivals Aladdin for me but okay, ooh, aladdin was my favorite, but I think Lion King was like.

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I mean that Lion King is like, that's like the grandfather of them all that's actually true, I agree yeah, you know, and Aladdin was like that new thing.

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It was like yeah, you know it had know, and Aladdin was like that new thing.

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It was like, yeah, you know it had upbeat songs and he was running.

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You know I was like this is fun.

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We love this.

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Yeah, aladdin was fun, lion King was simba.

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Yes, but this one is pretty cool because this one was like it wasn't just, it just not just classic because of the story and the popularity, but because of the timing and the creativity of it, because this is really our first venture into pixar yeah, you know, you know, pixar gave us a different vibe, totally different, totally different vibe.

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Pixar was like.

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Pixar took us into the land of what, if, like, what if your toys were talking?

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You know, like what, if you know, I'm thinking like inside out what if there were little things inside your mind controlling your emotions?

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Right right up wasn't up pixar, up was pixar, oh man beautiful, beautiful, beautiful love that we were this close.

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We were this close if we were had a couple of more leadership.

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Things love up.

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Oh, I love it so much up today.

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Yes, but you know this, but the very first pixar movie, this was the very first one.

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And the and also just think I mean we went from not just the land of what if?

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But the land of 3d, like you were, this was, you know, I'm saying like animation, excuse me you're on a whole nother level, like it was like real people in animation.

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It was weird.

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Yeah, it was very cool um and so, if you haven't figured it out, guys, we are talking about the great toy story, one and only one story friends one and only listen, going back and re-watching this has been.

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It was it was it was, was it hit in the gut?

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Cause you know we've now we're now have four Toy Story movies and they've all been fantastic.

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That fourth one threw us a little bit, cause at first I wasn't with it, cause they took the little spork and was trying, was it a spork or a fork?

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And it was a spork.

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I'll be honest.

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And they was trying.

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I may or may not have seen it.

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I mean it looks very corny and they're trying to convince us that the sport could be a toy, but in the end it still got to the old heartstrings.

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That third one, though top tier.

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The third one was when they brought out Lotso.

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The bear, the little scary bear.

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I'll be honest.

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Yeah, I've got to make a confession.

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I have not seen three or four've only seen one and two.

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I understand how that's offensive to some of you and I apologize.

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All right, guys.

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I want y'all to join.

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I want y'all to join me next time.

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Uh, I'll be doing the shows, the show reviews, by myself, because I cannot keep I'm so sorry partnering with Ruth Abigail and her shenanigans.

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First, you don't know Summertime, then you didn't watch Toy Story 3?

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I didn't.

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All right, everybody, on behalf of our audience and all those who listen and all those that love you, your assignment before the end of the next month is to watch Toy Story 3.

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Because what are you doing?

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Okay, what are you doing?

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Yeah?

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Anywho guys, Sorry.

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I don't know what Ruth Abigail got going on, but we are talking about Toy Story, the first movie, and it's so like going back because those of us who have watched all the movies like we know where the characters are now.

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But yo, woody, listen, and it's really told kind of following Woody's, like his, his, the conflict, his inner conflict as it, as the movie is kind of Woody against Woody as he's dealing with this huge shift in the dynamics of his team and of his world.

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Right, it wasn't because, you know, woody, they don't clock out.

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You know they toys all day.

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You know, all day we work for Andy.

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They got Andy's name on the bottom of their foot, like how we work for the Lord all day.

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Now you ought to write the Lord's name on the bottom of your foot, say I belong to Jesus.

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Okay, somebody look on the bottom of your foot, say I belong to Jesus.

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Somebody look on the bottom right there.

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Move on, that's who I work for.

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We're moving on.

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Anyways.

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But they don't clock out right, and so his entire world is consumed with being Andy's toy.

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And so when something and not only being Andy's toy, but being Andy's favorite toy right and also being the leader of the toys, and so when something comes to disrupt that, it doesn't just shift his leadership, it shifts his understanding of his identity, that's it.

00:07:53.639 --> 00:08:00.687
And I think that's the narrative that we're following throughout this movie, and so we're going to talk about it.

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Yeah, we're going to talk about it, and we're going to talk about it in the terms of a couple of, really, I think, great leadership frameworks and team frameworks, or a leadership framework and a team framework.

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Okay, because, like Queda was saying, you kind of have these two dynamics that play with each other.

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You have the dynamics of leaders or potential leaders who are coming up or finding up, um, or find their own journey, finding their own journey, and then you have the dynamic of a team that does have to go through a shift and what that looks like Right.

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And so, for those of you that are leaders and, um, uh, leaders in different areas, uh, for anything, transition, uh, shifts, things that come at you, that you can't control, disruption All of those themes are in here, and I think this is where we can, what we can learn, and how, what we can unlearn from how it is we might normally behave, um, versus what's the best thing to do.

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So, um, as you're, as we're going through this, just like having my what's a, what's a recent disruption you've had in your, in your, in your space, Right, yeah, and, and how did you, how are you or how did you manage that and where can you find yourself in this?

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And I think that's a good place to just be kind of thinking.

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And where can you?

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find yourself in this, and I think that's a good place to just be kind of thinking.

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And, you know, I think something that we don't always recognize is when a disruption has happened.

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Right, because a lot of times, a lot of times, you know, for in this movie, it was the addition of a new toy, and not just a new toy, but a new toy that was galaxy minded, whereas they were room minded.

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They were like our entire world and the scope of our understanding exists in this room.

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And then Buzz Lightyear comes in and he says I'm here to defend the galaxy.

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You know, I go from planet to planet, you know.

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And so his mind is like this room is just another place, you know, even you know we can talk about him being programmed and all that jazz, but his mindset is this room is a place I've come to do one task and I'm and I'm onto the next, you know.

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And so when you have something that that is, uh, that does not fit in your world, right, that does not fit in your world, right, that does not fit in the realm of your understanding or in the realm of your team's normal operating functions and the normal atmosphere of your team, right, and the normal, you know, people talk about.

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You know, our team is like a family.

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Well, what happens when somebody that doesn't look like your family comes in Right, or somebody that doesn't look like or act like you Right.

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Those are all disruptors.

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Which, by the way, if I could put a little plug in, I think team as family is a very toxic mindset, toxic.

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I do not recommend you thinking about your team as a family.

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That is not what you are.

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You are a team and you are working towards a goal and a mission and everything else is not important.

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That is not the case with the family, the team, as a family mentality, which, of course, they all lived in the same room, so it's hard not to be a family.

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Sure, you know, they ain't even you know.

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I mean, I think they were a family, you know, they didn't even.

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You know they were a family, you know yeah.

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But I think I think the reason that the team as a family kind of mentality is so dangerous is because it does not allow you to turn the team off Right and then, and so like you're going home and now people want and so like you're going home and now people want.

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So my one of my previous jobs like we we never really said the team as family mentality, but it was very present and we had one person that we hired who was like I just want to make it clear I'm not doing this.

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No, I'm not going to your house for no shindig.

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No, I don't want to hang out with y'all, I don't want to kick it with you.

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What movie is that?

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I don't want to hang with you, I don't want nothing.

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Ruth don't know, but anyways, she was just very clear.

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I like y'all, I'm good being a part of this team, I enjoy y'all.

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We can do stuff at the job, but stop trying to make this personal, because I got a life Right and and I think that as a uh, not just as a leader, but just any team that you enter into my life has been better because I have better boundaries.

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I've been able to build a lot, not only build a life, but build myself, because my identity is not dependent on a team anymore.

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It's not dependent on what the team thinks about me.

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It's not depending on how a team is moving or operating Right.

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I get to be me Right Despite what everybody else is doing.

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I get to be me right Despite what everybody else is doing, and I really enjoy that autonomy and it allows us to be better contributors when you set healthy boundaries.

00:13:11.774 --> 00:13:11.956
Yeah.

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So let's talk about this team framework that we have, and some of you may have heard it before, but it is a kind of a description of what all teams really go through, right, and you kind of go through it and then you probably just hit different points along the way.

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It's not like you just go through it once and then you start to soar.

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It's a circle, it's a consistent cycle, like you're always.

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You're always in one of these places and in in the movie you find them in one space and then they move to another one because of a disruption.

00:13:51.004 --> 00:14:00.958
So the first, this is the forming, storming, norming, performing framework, and some of you may have heard of that.

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So we'll just go through them real quick, which each one are, so that you know what they are, and then we'll talk about how the movie frames these things right.

00:14:12.519 --> 00:14:28.664
So forming is essentially when the group members are kind of getting acquainted, they're getting to know each other, their roles and responsibilities aren't quite clear and the leader typically takes the dominant role to guide the team.

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All right, the leader here would be Woody.

00:14:30.208 --> 00:14:33.183
All right, he's the one that he that.

00:14:34.788 --> 00:14:35.971
Andy, thank you.

00:14:36.172 --> 00:14:42.504
Andy I couldn't think of the dude's name that Andy plays with the child, the child Calling.

00:14:42.504 --> 00:14:50.905
Andy, a dude is crazy yeah, yeah right, he's the one that he plays with listen, stop, okay, whatever.

00:14:50.905 --> 00:14:53.110
So so he's the one that he plays with.

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He's the one that plays with the most, he's the most popular toy, so he just kind of naturally rises as the leader.

00:14:59.575 --> 00:15:04.528
All right, and so that that would be an example of what forming is.

00:15:04.528 --> 00:15:05.230
Uh OK.

00:15:05.230 --> 00:15:06.393
So Queda, what's storming?

00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:13.900
OK, storming is when that conflict comes up, all right, where that that disruptor arrives in, all right.

00:15:13.900 --> 00:15:21.548
And so it's usually centered around ideas, around roles who has what role, who gets to do what thing?

00:15:21.548 --> 00:15:28.889
Power, how power dynamics are shifting, are being challenged within an organization and personalities.

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Right, thinking about, is everybody on this team still maintaining the same culture?

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Or did someone come in and say, no, I don't do it that way, right?

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And so there's been a challenge of authority, and usually there is somebody on the team that has shifted, kind of where influence lies.

00:15:52.034 --> 00:16:00.943
Yep, and so, really, for Toy Story, it's when, as soon as Buzz lands on the bed, right, that's Woody's spot.

00:16:01.365 --> 00:16:01.765
All right.

00:16:02.488 --> 00:16:03.431
And everybody knew that.

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Everybody knew Woody.

00:16:04.907 --> 00:16:13.827
Yeah, not only knew that, everybody knew Woody, not only did he land on the bed and he took Woody's spot Woody now done slid under the bed and got to crawl his way out.

00:16:13.827 --> 00:16:26.323
And I think it was such a moment, because the toys that go under the bed are the forgotten toys, and so Woody crawls out from under the bed and they're like yo, woody's under the bed, and they're like yo, woody's under the bed, and they're like you know.

00:16:26.323 --> 00:16:30.471
And immediately it is like oh snap, the storm is here.

00:16:31.011 --> 00:16:32.693
Right the storm is here.

00:16:34.380 --> 00:16:35.261
Yep, ok.

00:16:35.261 --> 00:16:43.072
So norming is where you have kind of an established order and cohesion.

00:16:43.072 --> 00:16:58.972
Everybody understands each other's roles, that's clear, and you shift from just the individual focus to kind of the team goals, and so I think that we kind of find them in this stage.

00:16:58.972 --> 00:17:03.105
When we meet the room, like when we meet the toys, he's running a meeting that he runs right.

00:17:03.105 --> 00:17:04.010
So he's like this is not the first.

00:17:04.010 --> 00:17:04.957
He's running a meeting that he runs Right.

00:17:04.957 --> 00:17:07.023
So he's like this is not the first.

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He calls it a staff meeting.

00:17:08.126 --> 00:17:09.609
This is staff meeting.

00:17:09.609 --> 00:17:11.582
We do this, we know we do this.

00:17:11.702 --> 00:17:15.711
He calls out different people for thanking them for doing things.

00:17:15.711 --> 00:17:18.683
So it's clear that there is some.

00:17:18.683 --> 00:17:26.336
You know the the T and also there there's a clear agenda of what they're meeting about.

00:17:26.336 --> 00:17:28.881
This is not abnormal, I think.

00:17:28.881 --> 00:17:32.731
The other thing that makes it clear is they're preparing for his birthday party.

00:17:32.731 --> 00:17:34.105
They have a process.

00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:36.227
They know what we're doing right.

00:17:36.559 --> 00:17:44.328
The little army men go down and they check to see what toys, because they want to see what toys are coming in in case anybody's going to be replaced.

00:17:44.328 --> 00:17:46.710
They all are aware of that.

00:17:46.710 --> 00:17:48.460
They know this is part of the game.

00:17:48.519 --> 00:18:00.184
Yeah, and I think it's important to note that the challenges that they're experiencing are not the storm, the birthday party and the fact that they're moving.

00:18:00.184 --> 00:18:09.001
Those are normal things that team have to operate in so you know you saying, man, we got this thing we have to do.

00:18:09.502 --> 00:18:11.125
That's not the storm.

00:18:11.125 --> 00:18:12.608
That's not the storm, right?

00:18:12.608 --> 00:18:18.107
That's called work, right, yeah, yeah, that's hey everybody, we gotta do what we gotta do.

00:18:18.107 --> 00:18:19.612
That's just called right, you know.

00:18:19.612 --> 00:18:24.648
But and a lot of but, a lot of times we treat the work like the storm Would you talk about it, jaquita?

00:18:24.669 --> 00:18:27.074
Because, oh my gosh, this drives me crazy.

00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:30.911
They say hey, we want the team to do this new thing.

00:18:30.911 --> 00:18:33.548
We want y'all to build a new program.

00:18:33.548 --> 00:18:36.008
That's not a storm, it's not a storm.

00:18:36.028 --> 00:18:38.888
Right, that is forward movement and direction.

00:18:38.888 --> 00:18:45.395
You know that is, you know, they about to move to a bigger house, they going to have a yard.

00:18:45.395 --> 00:18:46.519
You know what I'm saying?

00:18:46.519 --> 00:18:46.940
Right, right.

00:18:46.940 --> 00:18:55.410
They're going to have the ability to, you know, be together, like no, that's not, that's not the storm.

00:18:55.410 --> 00:19:13.106
The storm is the thing that came to disrupt, it shifted, it shook something, right, it shook the foundation of who they identified themselves as a team, right, and so I just wanted, I just felt like that was needed to be cleared up.

00:19:13.188 --> 00:19:17.212
I agree, right, you doing a new task is not a storm.

00:19:17.394 --> 00:19:21.147
It's not a storm you having to learn a new skill is not a storm.

00:19:21.147 --> 00:19:22.029
That's right.

00:19:22.029 --> 00:19:23.272
Right, it's growth.

00:19:23.500 --> 00:19:24.660
It's professional development.

00:19:24.660 --> 00:19:25.242
This is what.

00:19:25.242 --> 00:19:27.133
This is something that's very important to unlearn.

00:19:27.133 --> 00:19:28.701
I'm so glad you brought that up.

00:19:28.701 --> 00:19:40.172
Um, okay, so for performing, this is, uh, when we have high performance activity, uh, from a team, right it team, the team operates efficiently towards a shared goal.

00:19:40.172 --> 00:19:44.628
High trust, autonomy, um, constructive communication.

00:19:44.628 --> 00:19:47.775
This is what that looks like.

00:19:47.775 --> 00:19:53.446
So you, you cannot perform if you don't go through a storm, didn't?

00:19:53.467 --> 00:19:56.681
mean for that to sound as corny as it did, but it's true, okay.

00:19:56.681 --> 00:20:15.307
So high performing teams I do not believe you can be a high performing team without having gone through a storm, and so these teams are very because they've gone through storms and because they've established and storms.

00:20:15.307 --> 00:20:16.029
Let's make that clear.

00:20:16.029 --> 00:20:17.553
You don't go through a storm.

00:20:17.553 --> 00:20:26.354
You will go through multiple storms and have to come back to your norm and grow to perform over and over and over again.

00:20:26.354 --> 00:20:28.664
This is not a one-time situation.

00:20:28.664 --> 00:20:33.484
This is a cycle and you're going to be hitting different points of the cycle all the time.

00:20:33.925 --> 00:21:00.526
So you're constantly growing and every time you experience a storm, you have an opportunity to up your performance as a team, right, and so, for this group, their performance as a whole, like that disruptor, is a very important part of them becoming a high performing team, if you will, of toys.

00:21:00.526 --> 00:21:09.036
You have to know what it's like, right, to have somebody disrupt your norm in order for you to know how to perform.

00:21:09.036 --> 00:21:23.611
So this is where we see this at the end, after all, the conflict has happened, but they do turn into a high-performing team who can now embrace the newness that's been brought into their atmosphere.

00:21:23.611 --> 00:21:26.134
Right and so that's, I think.

00:21:26.134 --> 00:21:26.796
So those are the.

00:21:26.796 --> 00:21:30.442
Those are the four stages that we're.

00:21:30.442 --> 00:21:37.326
We're highlighted today through the development of a team forming, storming, norming and performing.

00:21:37.326 --> 00:21:41.930
All right, yeah, so that's the team.

00:21:41.930 --> 00:21:47.288
But in this, in this movie, obviously there are two main characters.

00:21:47.288 --> 00:21:55.471
You have woody, and, and so they have their own journeys.

00:21:55.471 --> 00:22:03.532
So we want to kind of unpack what those are like, right, um, and kind of what their development looks like.

00:22:04.494 --> 00:22:04.734
Yeah.

00:22:04.755 --> 00:22:06.278
So how we want to do that.

00:22:07.864 --> 00:22:08.305
All right.

00:22:08.305 --> 00:22:11.332
So we were talking about this kind of like in our pre-show talk.

00:22:12.361 --> 00:22:30.451
Let me go back Hold on real sick because I think, at the risk of, you know, kind of lean on this for a little too long, I just think it might be good for us to share some personal experiences with this forming, storming, norming thing, because I'm thinking about it just occurred to me.

00:22:30.519 --> 00:22:49.926
it's like I'm thinking about my experience as a leader and becoming going from the forming stage to the storming stage, and in one hand, the storming stage and in one hand the storming stage, the storm one, and on the other hand, we moved into a norm.

00:22:49.926 --> 00:22:56.048
Right, I've experienced both, and so yeah sometimes the storm wins, guys, I ain't gonna lie to you.

00:22:56.108 --> 00:23:03.007
Sometimes it just wins you know I'm saying I don't think I, I don't know that I would ever I would say it like that.

00:23:03.007 --> 00:23:04.209
I don't know that I would say it like that.

00:23:04.209 --> 00:23:06.814
I don't know that the storm ever wins.

00:23:06.814 --> 00:23:14.753
I do think that the storm will eventually always do what it was intended to do.

00:23:14.753 --> 00:23:36.372
It is just when we I mean any movie you watch when the character hits kind of that storm moment where life has been disrupted, things are not going as it should, things are not going as as anticipated and their life is kind of turned upside down.

00:23:36.372 --> 00:23:45.573
The you stay, the you will stay in the storm as long as you are unwilling to address what needs to change.

00:23:45.792 --> 00:23:46.493
Well, that's fair.

00:23:46.493 --> 00:23:47.335
I can see that.

00:23:48.182 --> 00:24:00.770
When we modify, adapt and allow ourselves to be influenced and the team allows itself to be influenced and changed and shift, then we can come.

00:24:00.770 --> 00:24:02.065
You know, the storm didn't win.

00:24:02.065 --> 00:24:04.266
The storm wins when we refuse to shift and change.

00:24:04.266 --> 00:24:04.946
Well, you know what I appreciate that perspective.

00:24:04.946 --> 00:24:05.286
I take it back the storm didn't win.

00:24:05.248 --> 00:24:05.949
The storm wins when we refuse to shift and change.

00:24:05.949 --> 00:24:07.201
Well, you know what I appreciate that perspective.

00:24:07.201 --> 00:24:07.884
I take it back.

00:24:07.884 --> 00:24:09.009
Okay, storm didn't win.

00:24:09.009 --> 00:24:11.874
Sometimes it feels like it did.

00:24:11.934 --> 00:24:14.528
I ain't gonna lie, my God, he always wins.

00:24:15.941 --> 00:24:19.486
Now, the Lord won, I ain't gonna lie, he used the storm for sure.

00:24:19.486 --> 00:24:24.710
Ruth said the Lord won, but I didn't.

00:24:24.710 --> 00:24:27.746
Sometimes this is how I feel.

00:24:27.746 --> 00:24:33.644
It's like Jacob in the wrestling, you know, but but I think like no, that's, that's real, like I'll be feeling like that.

00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:51.929
But I think, for me, when I experienced kind of um, my, my personal kind of leadership crisis, um, we, we were forming, and for me, I think I played the role of the disruptor of the team.

00:24:51.929 --> 00:24:57.929
I was the new one that came in to a team who had a norm.

00:24:57.929 --> 00:25:07.488
I was the first disruptor, covid was the second one, and so forgot about COVID, forgot about it.

00:25:07.488 --> 00:25:11.777
I was the first disruptor, covid was the second one, and so Forgot about COVID.

00:25:11.777 --> 00:25:17.148
Oh yeah, right, forgot about it, right, so, so I, I've been it's.

00:25:17.410 --> 00:25:51.958
It's interesting, as I'm just kind of thinking about this, my, I didn't realize how much my presence disrupted until maybe a year or so later, and I didn't understand how important it was for me to develop as a leader, like Buzz had to develop as a leader, right, I didn't understand the importance of that as much as I was thinking the thing that I came here to do, I need to get it done and that was my initial mentality, as opposed to you need to develop into a leader and I was.

00:25:51.958 --> 00:25:57.147
I was coming, I'm coming in and I said, cool, I'm ready to do what I came here to do.

00:25:57.688 --> 00:26:18.462
Right, and that was my mentality for for a while and I realized that because my position was a leadership position but my mindset was not leader, my mindset was performer, let me do what I do, and I didn't take the team into mindset, to be kind of focused on.

00:26:32.539 --> 00:26:35.390
Like that's a good perspective.

00:26:35.390 --> 00:26:45.080
The word that keeps coming up in my mind is retroactively, but that's not like, like reflection, hindsight, Right, right right, that's not like reflection hindsight.

00:26:45.101 --> 00:26:53.224
Right, right, right, because I think sometimes it is easy to point the finger, but I think as a leader, that finger should always be at yourself.

00:26:53.224 --> 00:27:06.991
Correct disruption and felt like you know, both myself and my team were going through a storm.

00:27:06.991 --> 00:27:13.516
I had a, an employee, I had someone on my team.

00:27:13.516 --> 00:27:23.623
You know that he was not, he was not with it, he was not with the culture, he was not with my authority.

00:27:23.623 --> 00:27:40.268
It was being not only was it being questioned, but he was going to another leader on the team and asking all his questions and getting advice Like he trusted that other leader over me and it led to division.

00:27:40.268 --> 00:27:49.534
It led to there being a culture shift because he was disrupting at every turn.

00:27:50.095 --> 00:28:09.364
I think one of the hardest moments and the moment that kind of like, you know, where he kind of made like kind of one of his biggest errors was my boss gave him a directive, like my boss, me and him in a meeting, and we said, hey, this is.

00:28:09.364 --> 00:28:11.869
I had already told him this is what you need to do.

00:28:11.869 --> 00:28:14.826
He ain't want to hear me, so I had to bring my boss in.

00:28:14.826 --> 00:28:20.143
My boss tells him this is what we need you to do, and he went and did what he wanted to do.

00:28:20.143 --> 00:28:36.218
And when it was found out, that was what you know what I'm saying and it was challenging one, because I had this vision of this big, happy team I was building.

00:28:36.218 --> 00:28:43.067
Right, right, I had this vision of oh, you know, I'm going to say I'm going to encourage y'all, y'all going to go out and do your thing.

00:28:43.067 --> 00:28:45.653
I got your back, you know, and we're all going to.

00:28:45.653 --> 00:28:47.157
You know, we're not going to be like these other teams.

00:28:47.157 --> 00:28:48.145
We're going to be cohesive.

00:28:48.145 --> 00:28:52.030
You know we're going to be, you know, collaborative and da, da, dah, dah, dah, dah.

00:28:52.030 --> 00:29:00.040
But I, it's, it's like I, I kept having, you know, I'm having closed door conversations, you know, all the time about how am I going to.

00:29:00.040 --> 00:29:07.766
You know, how do I?

00:29:07.766 --> 00:29:16.554
I manage this, um, and it was the one of the most challenging things I've encountered as a leader, but it is also the thing that helped me to grow the most, which is what I think ultimately happened to woody.

00:29:17.075 --> 00:29:28.655
I think, you know, like, yeah, like, coming out of that one, I became, you know, I, because I could, I could have gone one or two ways with it, because he was, you know, talking junk about me behind my bag.

00:29:28.655 --> 00:29:31.931
He, you know, he had all the stuff, but I, I set him down.

00:29:31.931 --> 00:29:43.846
I I told him, I was like hey, let me tell you something, I'm the person that hired you.

00:29:43.846 --> 00:29:46.351
When I had, when I did uh, my uh hiring process and I interviewed all these people, I hired you.

00:29:46.351 --> 00:29:48.655
Therefore, consider me your biggest advocate.

00:29:48.655 --> 00:29:53.213
I'm the one who has your back, I'm the one who's going to fight for you.

00:29:53.213 --> 00:29:58.130
Do not bite me in the behind, because I'm the one that has your back.

00:29:58.130 --> 00:30:00.055
Yeah, I'm the one that's going to fight for you.

00:30:00.055 --> 00:30:02.789
You know, and so, but it helped me to learn.

00:30:03.131 --> 00:30:05.355
I had to stand up in that, you know.

00:30:05.355 --> 00:30:07.105
I had to stand up in who I was.

00:30:07.105 --> 00:30:10.190
I had to stand up in being a confident leader.

00:30:10.190 --> 00:30:18.828
I had to stand up and really knowing that, you know, someone who didn't believe in me couldn't shake me.

00:30:18.828 --> 00:30:26.020
But I also had to double down and say, jaquita, you got to be on your P's and Q's, you know, because sometimes we believe in ourselves too much.

00:30:26.020 --> 00:30:46.049
It's not that I believe in myself, it's that I believe that everyone knows my true heart intent, right, but I had to be more intentional about displaying it and and honoring my team, um and so, yeah, yeah, that was the moment yeah, and I think this, this, that kind of it does, kind of is so it's funny.

00:30:46.111 --> 00:31:04.390
We were talking before and what we, what we're gonna do, is represent like each character and um, I'm supposed to represent buzz and his development, and quita supposed to represent woody and at the time we were like it's funny because I feel like that's we're actually kind of the opposite.

00:31:04.390 --> 00:31:12.166
But with those stories though, honestly, that's about right, maybe not maybe, maybe not, I think, I don't know.

00:31:12.186 --> 00:31:29.019
I think, personality wise, and just like how we show up in spaces, like I definitely think that you give more Woody vibes, like all right, everybody gather around, team, yeah, yeah, you know like, hey, you know, want to make sure everybody got your batteries, make sure you got your things together.

00:31:29.019 --> 00:31:49.410
All right, we're going on a trip, right, um, where, whereas I'm more like Buzz Lightyear, you know I'm, I'm from the future, you know, I know like I'm a little, I'm a little bit more shiny, not in like a way that's better than woody, because woody is more like traditional and solid.

00:31:49.410 --> 00:31:51.932
Buzz lightyear was not solid.

00:31:51.932 --> 00:31:54.457
He was unconcerned about these people.

00:31:54.457 --> 00:31:56.519
He was like what is this?

00:31:56.680 --> 00:31:57.339
life form.

00:31:57.339 --> 00:32:01.932
Yeah, Hold on, because did y'all hear that?

00:32:01.932 --> 00:32:03.796
No, no, no, no, no, no, no no.

00:32:03.836 --> 00:32:04.798
Did y'all hear that?

00:32:04.798 --> 00:32:06.945
Did y'all hear that?

00:32:06.945 --> 00:32:21.993
See, when I tell you about the disrespect that I endure, okay, when I tell you about how she's constantly coming for me, I want you to know that y'all are seeing it happen in real time, don't y'all agree?

00:32:21.993 --> 00:32:27.829
Though he was no, he was not, he was whatever Okay.

00:32:27.869 --> 00:32:30.534
He was not, he was not delusional.

00:32:30.534 --> 00:32:34.200
He was he believed in in his mission.

00:32:34.200 --> 00:32:52.746
Delusional he was he believed in in his mission and I don't necessarily think that his mission changed, like who he was and what he represented, did not change his function and and becoming less of an individual and more of a of a servant and a team player, that's beautiful.

00:32:53.086 --> 00:32:54.369
I love how you're standing up for Buzz.

00:32:54.369 --> 00:32:56.335
I'm not trying to put him down, I just-.

00:32:56.335 --> 00:32:57.577
No, yes, you were yes you were.

00:32:57.585 --> 00:32:58.367
No, I wasn't, no, I wasn't.

00:32:58.367 --> 00:33:00.434
How is delusional not putting somebody down.

00:33:00.785 --> 00:33:02.048
But he thought he was something.

00:33:02.048 --> 00:33:02.630
He wasn't.

00:33:02.630 --> 00:33:07.548
He was like you know all these things but he was just not in the way that he thought he was.

00:33:08.529 --> 00:33:09.771
That was part of his growth.

00:33:09.771 --> 00:33:13.897
Like he had to believe in himself again and learn how to do it a different way.

00:33:13.917 --> 00:33:14.419
That's true.

00:33:14.419 --> 00:33:15.901
Now, okay, that's true.

00:33:15.901 --> 00:33:17.929
I will say that he did have to.

00:33:17.929 --> 00:33:21.577
He had to come to believe in who he really was.

00:33:23.125 --> 00:33:25.364
I hope y'all watching YouTube so y'all can see my faces.

00:33:25.685 --> 00:33:28.913
And not believe in what.

00:33:28.913 --> 00:33:30.718
Okay, so let's go through it, right?

00:33:30.718 --> 00:33:52.895
So this framework is called the developmental leader framework and it's four levels of a uh of development of a leader, all right, and so we're going to go through each one of these levels and you, you know, you have buzz, who really we see his leadership like journey of, like we.

00:33:52.895 --> 00:33:54.460
He didn't start off as a leader.

00:33:54.460 --> 00:33:58.469
He wasn't a leader, right, he was just somebody who came showed up to the team.

00:33:58.489 --> 00:33:59.551
He was a talented individual.

00:34:00.213 --> 00:34:00.855
With all this?

00:34:00.855 --> 00:34:01.356
Yeah, he was.

00:34:01.356 --> 00:34:13.494
He was talented, popular, interesting, different, and he showed up and so then he became a leader at at by the end of um, he was in that vein he was.

00:34:13.494 --> 00:34:17.927
He wasn't a leader proper, but he was on his way, right, yeah?

00:34:18.789 --> 00:34:22.679
So question for you, because you know people.

00:34:22.679 --> 00:34:26.027
I think people define what a leader is in different ways.

00:34:26.027 --> 00:34:33.275
Yeah, how do you identify who the leader is, or who a leader is like what?

00:34:33.275 --> 00:34:36.981
What to you make someone stand out as a leader?

00:34:38.326 --> 00:34:39.007
It's a good question.

00:34:39.007 --> 00:34:48.351
I, I think a leader is in a very in the, in the simplest, simplest of terms, requires followers.

00:34:48.351 --> 00:34:55.333
In other words, they it requires people, it requires influence with people on some level.

00:34:56.416 --> 00:35:00.650
If you don't, if there's, if that's not there, then you can't say you're a leader.

00:35:00.650 --> 00:35:07.677
You, you might be a very gifted, talented individual, but you're not leading anyone, right?

00:35:07.677 --> 00:35:11.909
A leader, it requires people to be influenced by you.

00:35:11.909 --> 00:35:24.199
That's a very basic term and that's why I think it's important that we understand that leadership is not a position, it's a, it's a role that could exist in different ways.

00:35:24.199 --> 00:35:28.052
They're family leadership, community leadership, faith leaders.

00:35:28.052 --> 00:35:34.356
You know, friendship, friend leaders, in a sense like different, I am the leader of this friendship.

00:35:34.356 --> 00:35:38.934
Okay, all right, I really walked right into that and we're going to move on.

00:35:39.175 --> 00:35:42.148
Um, you know organizational leadership.

00:35:42.148 --> 00:35:54.869
Um, you know, you have all these different types of all these different, uh, places in which leadership exists, and but it's not positional, it's not a title, right, it's not.

00:35:54.869 --> 00:35:56.173
It has nothing to do with that.

00:35:56.173 --> 00:36:09.748
There are leaders that have titles with no influence and to me, that's that's just a position, it's just a title that you're not really leading, um, and you have people that don't have titles, that have tons of influence.

00:36:09.748 --> 00:36:13.295
When they call people come, they're leaders're leaders.

00:36:13.295 --> 00:36:14.679
So that's how I would define it.

00:36:14.679 --> 00:36:15.579
How about you?

00:36:18.387 --> 00:36:28.356
I think leaders, more so than followers I'm tracking with you, though I think leaders are people who can influence.

00:36:28.356 --> 00:36:43.286
You know, I don't think that you necessarily have to have like people that you supervise or manage, but you have to have people that trust in your influence, and so you have to.

00:36:43.286 --> 00:36:55.956
But you have to be having an impact somewhere, like you, and you have to be having not just an impact like oh yeah, I performed this task, but an impact in the way that things are done Like.

00:36:55.956 --> 00:37:05.088
You have to be able, you have to be able to, like in the forming, storming, norming, performing, you have to be able to form something Like.

00:37:05.088 --> 00:37:13.952
You have to be able to bring something into fruition that that allows other people to follow your example in some way.

00:37:14.512 --> 00:37:16.257
Yeah, I agree, no, I agree.

00:37:16.257 --> 00:37:33.409
And so, yeah, I'm glad you asked that question, because this development stage, it, it, it shows up at all of those different arenas, like it's not just um, kind of your traditional um company framework, like it shows up everywhere.

00:37:33.409 --> 00:37:38.039
And so when you have um, you have this.

00:37:38.039 --> 00:37:39.007
These four developments.

00:37:39.007 --> 00:37:42.313
The first one is what we call an enthusiastic beginner.

00:37:42.313 --> 00:37:49.500
Okay, this one is characterized as somebody who has high commitment and low competence.

00:37:49.500 --> 00:37:52.128
They are very committed to the cause.

00:37:52.128 --> 00:37:54.655
Like they're like I am here, I am ready.

00:37:55.416 --> 00:38:06.195
I heard somebody explain it from the perspective of somebody who's on a baseball team and they've never played baseball before and so they're super excited to be on the team.

00:38:06.195 --> 00:38:08.092
Like I cannot wait.

00:38:08.092 --> 00:38:09.568
This is my first game.

00:38:09.568 --> 00:38:11.175
I'm here, put me in, coach.

00:38:11.175 --> 00:38:13.572
They've never swung a bet.

00:38:13.572 --> 00:38:15.128
They don't know how to.

00:38:15.128 --> 00:38:16.733
They don't really know a lot of the rules.

00:38:16.733 --> 00:38:21.416
They don't know how to you know, they don't know what position they're playing out.

00:38:21.416 --> 00:38:33.394
And then they play and they swing and they hit right Beginner's luck, this idea of like beginner's luck and they hit the ball.

00:38:33.394 --> 00:38:35.431
They're like I am awesome, am that's?

00:38:35.452 --> 00:38:38.751
like, uh, that's like buzz, when he said he could try to fly.

00:38:38.751 --> 00:38:41.539
Yeah, yeah, I can I can fly.

00:38:41.820 --> 00:39:00.735
And here he go, flying, using all the toys and jumping off a ball, but he was like yo, like he was even, I think he was even a little surprised, but he didn't act like it, like this is me, and everybody was like very uh, um, impressed right I'm sorry, I just gotta fast forward to the I.

00:39:00.876 --> 00:39:16.597
The movie was so petty because in the commercial where he kind of realizes there's a toy, it literally said at the bottom this is not a flying toy cannot fly like I was like that's so petty.

00:39:16.998 --> 00:39:17.498
I love it.

00:39:17.498 --> 00:39:25.820
That's hilarious yeah, to me hilarious, uh, but yeah, so what he was I mean not what he buzz was like that.

00:39:25.820 --> 00:39:34.690
He was this enthusiastic beginner high commitment, low competence, and he walks in the room and kind of like all eyes on him, right.

00:39:35.331 --> 00:39:35.972
Yeah.

00:39:36.713 --> 00:39:38.114
So what was Woody doing at this moment?

00:39:38.173 --> 00:39:49.463
But it's so interesting because Woody's response to that when you see somebody, that's like having someone who's gifted with no experience, that's right, you know.

00:39:49.463 --> 00:40:10.489
So you see this person walk in that has all this potential, Right, and and they have kind of that magnetic thing that makes people draw to them, Right, and instead of Woody, you know, and I understand Woody, Woody's going through kind of like you know, he just crawled from up under the bed.

00:40:10.489 --> 00:40:15.965
You know, like you know as a leader, that that can knock you out sometimes.

00:40:16.045 --> 00:40:16.949
Right, that's right.

00:40:16.969 --> 00:40:21.304
Cause you, you like, I wait a minute, I, I can't compete with that.

00:40:21.304 --> 00:40:36.579
Yeah, because my position on the team has already been defined and is already kind of written as this administrative, you know, I take charge and I I'm responsible for us.

00:40:36.579 --> 00:40:43.824
You know like when, when woody found out about, you know, the birthday party, he's all right, gather the gather the people.

00:40:43.824 --> 00:40:45.409
I got a staff meeting.

00:40:45.409 --> 00:40:52.251
I'm gonna let them know and then I'm gonna reassure them and then I'm gonna, I'm gonna protect and ensure our safety.

00:40:52.251 --> 00:40:55.878
You like, his role is already written out.

00:40:55.878 --> 00:41:02.639
Here comes this cool new toy with lasers and wings, and you know talking about a galaxy.

00:41:02.639 --> 00:41:05.190
You know like what was he?

00:41:05.190 --> 00:41:06.713
A space trooper, or?

00:41:06.733 --> 00:41:17.565
something Space Ranger, space Ranger you know like, and he's talking about stuff that Woody doesn't even, has never heard of or experienced Right.

00:41:18.045 --> 00:41:39.780
And instead of him saying, okay, how can I, how can this be an addition to the team, woody makes the decision that this man does not fit on my team Because not because he couldn't add a great deal of value, but because he's threatening me.

00:41:39.780 --> 00:41:48.317
I feel threatened, and so Woody moves out of the space of being team focused to being self-focused.

00:41:48.317 --> 00:41:55.114
Right, because he never never in the movie does he say what good does he do for the team?

00:41:55.114 --> 00:41:57.699
Woody made the decision.

00:41:57.699 --> 00:42:07.773
This man is threatening my spot, and everything he talked about from the time Buzz came to the time that Woody shifted was about how he was being impacted.

00:42:08.253 --> 00:42:17.518
He lost sight of the team and I think, as leaders, you have to be really careful because we're quick to notice it happening in other people.

00:42:17.518 --> 00:42:34.715
But unless you have again you know, I emphasize this consistently through almost every episode Unless you have people who are mentoring and coaching you, who can point out to you hey, yo bruh you a little off.

00:42:34.715 --> 00:42:38.072
Your mindset ain't right.

00:42:38.072 --> 00:42:39.315
You know what I'm saying.

00:42:39.315 --> 00:42:41.239
You're not seeing this right.

00:42:41.239 --> 00:42:44.333
Nobody in that room could challenge him.

00:42:44.815 --> 00:42:46.690
Yeah, you get what I'm saying.

00:42:48.648 --> 00:42:52.969
That's why the movie happened, that's why the movie's so long, because Woody had to go on a personal journey.

00:42:52.969 --> 00:42:56.713
I mean this could have quickly been one little, one little coaching session.

00:42:56.713 --> 00:42:57.905
You're right, could?

00:42:57.925 --> 00:42:58.909
have got Woody together.

00:42:58.909 --> 00:43:07.990
That's you ain't lying, but, but to your point, though, there was nobody on the team who, who would, who was developed enough to even do that.

00:43:07.990 --> 00:43:12.231
Like you know, you look at that, and I think that is such a.

00:43:12.231 --> 00:43:21.826
It's a gift as a leader to have somebody on your team who can do that for you and who you trust enough to do that, and I like there there is somebody that.

00:43:21.947 --> 00:43:21.967
I.

00:43:21.967 --> 00:43:23.634
It doesn't have to be someone superior.

00:43:23.974 --> 00:43:24.557
Exactly.

00:43:24.557 --> 00:43:28.512
It doesn't even have to be somebody who's on your same level, you don't even have to be a peer.

00:43:28.512 --> 00:43:44.675
It could be somebody who you, who technically, and the you know, supervise, but it's somebody you trust and it's somebody that that is competent in what they do, to the point to where you can, you can manage up right, you have people that can manage up.

00:43:44.675 --> 00:44:03.175
And if you are, if you're that, if you're that kind of when you invite that kind of accountability as a leader, not from everyone, because everyone's not equipped to hold you accountable and not all the time, right, yeah, but when it's time and from the right people, it is a gift.

00:44:03.625 --> 00:44:08.878
You need that because we have blind spots and you have to have people to point those things out.

00:44:08.878 --> 00:44:24.527
So you have to make room for that and I feel like Bo the little, yeah, yeah, she almost could have been that almost almost almost she was about to get to the point of helping him to reflect yeah, but you know she just she.

00:44:24.547 --> 00:44:39.215
You know she was because she's she's on the team, but she wasn't fully like you know, her and woody had this something on the side yeah, like we teammates, but you know, we trying to build something, yeah correct.

00:44:39.215 --> 00:44:42.184
We're trying to you know, I'm saying yeah what she said.

00:44:42.385 --> 00:44:43.949
I'm just a couple of blocks away.

00:44:43.949 --> 00:44:45.755
I don't know what that gets me every time actually that's.

00:44:46.005 --> 00:44:47.809
She went behind the block the blocks.

00:44:47.829 --> 00:45:11.748
That was hilarious to me hilarious um, uh, so okay, so we have what's where buzz was and that's how Woody responded to Buzz's beginner enthusiasm, right, and then, uh, queen alluded to it before, uh, before Buzz has this, when they're in Sid's room and he, he catches on the TV the commercial for his toy and he's seeing for the first time who he really is.

00:45:13.411 --> 00:45:15.494
And it, just it.

00:45:15.494 --> 00:45:22.592
It crushes him, um, and so this brings us to the next uh, uh developmental phase is a disillusioned learner.

00:45:22.592 --> 00:45:30.708
So in the, in the, in the, in the baseball analogy, you know your first up to bat, you swing it, you hit a home run, everybody's cheering, you're really excited.

00:45:30.708 --> 00:45:32.755
Then you go up to bat again and you and you strike out.

00:45:32.755 --> 00:45:41.387
And then you go up to bat again and you strike out.

00:45:41.387 --> 00:45:43.652
And then you go up to bat again and you strike out.

00:45:43.652 --> 00:45:45.795
And you go up to bat again and you strike out.

00:45:45.795 --> 00:45:47.478
And what that does is it decreases your commitment, right?

00:45:47.478 --> 00:45:53.110
So this development is characterized by low commitment and low competence.

00:45:53.110 --> 00:45:59.211
You have the false sense of security because you got a win, but you actually don't know how you got the wins.

00:45:59.211 --> 00:46:02.108
You can't repeat the win because you don't know what you did.

00:46:02.849 --> 00:46:07.887
So now you go back up to bat and you're like I'm doing it again and you don't, and your crisis gets shot.

00:46:07.887 --> 00:46:13.356
So you know, or your, I'm sorry, your, yeah, your, uh, your, your confidence gets, gets, gets shot.

00:46:13.356 --> 00:46:16.280
And so, yeah, he did the flying thing, impressed everybody.

00:46:16.280 --> 00:46:23.331
And then he saw that and he tried to fly again and he couldn't fly.

00:46:23.331 --> 00:46:35.693
And it's like that's, and now you realize, oh shoot, I'm not as good as I thought, I'm not as competent as I thought and I have to battle this new reality of like this is, I'm seeing me.

00:46:35.693 --> 00:46:36.577
And so Buzz had to do that.

00:46:36.577 --> 00:46:50.518
And as a leader, as somebody who's developing because it's a journey, you have to hit that moment where you realize I need more training, I need more help.

00:46:51.045 --> 00:47:07.971
Yo yo, I think the best point when me and Ruth Abigail because we kind of hit these, these leadership spots at the same time it was the moment when we were on the phone one night it was like, hey, listen, I'm going through.

00:47:07.971 --> 00:47:18.375
Like you know, I'm my whole real, my whole understanding of myself as a leader is shot.

00:47:18.375 --> 00:47:19.958
I'm not the leader.

00:47:19.958 --> 00:47:20.342
I thought.

00:47:20.503 --> 00:47:34.614
I was I thought I was going to roll in here and really I thought I was going to just win everyone over with my amazing personality and my great ideas and it was going to be game on from there.

00:47:34.614 --> 00:47:40.139
But when that didn't happen, I was like I need some more.

00:47:40.139 --> 00:47:41.181
I started reading books.

00:47:41.782 --> 00:47:44.768
I was like or when it doesn't happen again.

00:47:46.056 --> 00:47:47.398
When it doesn't happen again.

00:47:47.398 --> 00:47:54.981
Because my first leadership experience I was leading students, so they're like 18 to 22.

00:47:54.981 --> 00:47:56.844
Right, and I was.

00:47:56.844 --> 00:48:04.706
I was more a mentor, you know, and I was guiding and you know you have fun and you're doing the things.

00:48:04.706 --> 00:48:19.528
Yeah, when I started leading and mentoring uh early, uh early career professionals, you know 25 to like 30 year olds, and they started bucking back or they had challenges.

00:48:19.528 --> 00:48:27.262
Uh, I started noticing like my respect dwindling or I started noticing that I wasn't getting the results that I wanted.

00:48:27.262 --> 00:48:42.324
Like immediately those were shots, but to my confidence and to my understanding of of who I was and how I showed up in a space, you know, I remember when I first started working at the institution that I worked for, um know, you know.

00:48:42.324 --> 00:48:47.599
But when I first started working there, I felt so out of pocket.

00:48:47.599 --> 00:48:52.188
I used to just sit there and I was like I don't feel important.

00:48:52.815 --> 00:48:56.463
Like, I don't feel like I can impact these people because I was on a.

00:48:57.164 --> 00:49:11.367
Not only was I on a very well old team, I was one sitting under a great leader, which I had sat under great leaders before, but not leaders who understood leadership.

00:49:11.367 --> 00:49:18.400
I had sat under leaders who understood their roles and responsibilities.

00:49:18.400 --> 00:49:28.195
I had not sat under a leader who was so well versed in developing and strengthening other leaders.

00:49:28.195 --> 00:49:37.356
And it immediately it put me back in the place of being a student again and I accepted that.

00:49:37.356 --> 00:49:44.556
But it was also like a really thought I knew what I was doing, yep, and now I gotta, I gotta deal with the fact that I don't.

00:49:44.556 --> 00:49:46.099
I don't know who I am in this space.

00:49:46.099 --> 00:49:55.085
I don't know how to be myself here, um, but I think it's interesting because, you know, buzz is having this realization that I am a toy.

00:49:55.085 --> 00:50:09.463
I don't think he would have responded the same way to that television commercial if he did not have woody's uh voice in his ear the whole time reminding him that he was just a toy yeah, you know, woody.

00:50:10.003 --> 00:50:13.090
Woody, that was woody's shot at buzz.

00:50:13.090 --> 00:50:14.418
You're nobody special.

00:50:14.418 --> 00:50:15.240
Yeah, you're.

00:50:15.240 --> 00:50:17.547
No, you're no different than us, right?

00:50:17.547 --> 00:50:22.221
Right, that's just a light on your arm, it's not a laser, right?

00:50:22.221 --> 00:50:22.561
Your?

00:50:22.561 --> 00:50:26.268
Your wings are made of plastic, not steel, right, like?

00:50:26.268 --> 00:50:35.275
And woody had, woody had picked at him and and through that, buzz had been able to maintain his belief in himself.

00:50:35.956 --> 00:50:50.688
But it was when it was when it was confirmed when what someone says about you is confirmed by an external source, yeah, and who you think you are is no longer able to stand in the room, yeah, right.

00:50:50.688 --> 00:51:00.744
I think that that is such a that is a critical point that I think we all go through, and I think we all have to deal with the voices of what has who.

00:51:00.744 --> 00:51:02.628
Has somebody said that I'm not?

00:51:02.628 --> 00:51:06.918
What if somebody told me that I'm not good enough to do that?

00:51:06.918 --> 00:51:12.117
I'm not, that I don't have the capacity for that, I'm not going to ever be good at what is?

00:51:12.117 --> 00:51:13.481
What is the thing?

00:51:13.481 --> 00:51:20.898
That is is that I'm that I'm running away from, and eventually I felt I feel like it caught up with me.

00:51:21.358 --> 00:51:22.780
Yeah, yeah Right.

00:51:22.780 --> 00:51:33.092
And I think those are kind of the existential moments where we have to sit down and really consider how we're going to move forward from those moments.

00:51:33.092 --> 00:51:42.429
And I think Buzz, when he, you know, got, when he got caught and you know, by the, by Sid's sister, and she was like you're now going to be, what was the name?

00:51:42.429 --> 00:51:42.789
Mrs?

00:51:46.054 --> 00:51:46.335
Mrs, mrs Mrs.

00:51:46.356 --> 00:51:49.563
Nesbitt and I'm putting a hat on you and you're going to sit here and sip tea.

00:51:49.563 --> 00:51:51.387
He was like who am I anyway?

00:51:51.387 --> 00:51:57.487
And then that's when you start accepting whatever somebody tells you you're supposed to be.

00:51:57.487 --> 00:52:18.844
And I think this is such a critical stage that we go through as leaders where we we put down what we thought were our gifts and talents, because we got to a point where we felt like it wasn't good enough or that, or that we weren't really gifted, and we put that down and we just take on whatever identity somebody gives us.

00:52:19.445 --> 00:52:27.338
Yes that's right gives us yes, that's right, and that's.

00:52:27.338 --> 00:52:27.639
And the fight.

00:52:27.639 --> 00:52:34.655
The real fight is how do I get back to being to, to, to going in the course that I was designed to be in versus the one that I was placed in?

00:52:35.697 --> 00:52:40.525
So this is um I, my personal struggle with this it.

00:52:40.525 --> 00:52:47.936
You know there was a point in um struggle with this it.

00:52:47.936 --> 00:52:51.871
You know there was a point in um my role, where, you know, I was a part of a, of a leadership team, and so I did have a role, but I wasn't the only.

00:52:51.871 --> 00:53:07.938
We were kind of all had our, our leadership areas, and so I had a little bit more space, um, in my, my, my, my like, more energy, Um, and it was coming out of COVID, so we weren't in full force, and so there was another organization.

00:53:07.938 --> 00:53:20.059
So I but I I knew that there was a lot of tension in the way that I was, I didn't, I didn't, in hindsight it was just not the best situation, right, and I wasn't doing the best job as a leader.

00:53:20.059 --> 00:53:36.146
But this other organization needed something and they really kind of leaned into what they felt like I was able to give, and so I spent some time kind of in a helping role for them.

00:53:36.146 --> 00:53:39.617
It was in the same space and so it wasn't really a big deal.

00:53:39.617 --> 00:53:43.706
And so it wasn't really a big deal.

00:53:44.306 --> 00:53:54.079
And I realized and and my, my, uh, one, uh, my, the person on my leadership, jill, had to snap me out of some stuff.

00:53:54.079 --> 00:53:57.945
But I was, uh, I found myself being pulled like buzz to be identified in a way that I felt useful.

00:53:57.945 --> 00:54:00.838
I felt like I could, I could win, or I felt like I could.

00:54:00.838 --> 00:54:02.443
I at least wasn't losing.

00:54:02.443 --> 00:54:21.757
And if I wasn't, if I, if I didn't have somebody to snap me out of it, then I could have lost my path right Into my development, into the leader I would eventually become and continue to become right I'm becoming every day.

00:54:21.757 --> 00:54:48.760
But like I think it is so important to your point like don't, if you find yourself in a space where you're a little you realize you have a lot to learn and you're a little disillusioned by it because you realize you're not as ready to do this as you thought, don't let yourself be re-identified by another source who seems to need what you have, because you're still not ready.

00:54:48.780 --> 00:54:50.282
That is so good.

00:54:50.282 --> 00:54:55.990
Don't allow yourself to be re-identified.

00:54:55.990 --> 00:55:32.061
And the ways that we get re-identified is because people who have vision, who have uh, we have something that they are in, that they're building, they will easily see what, who you are and what you have, and plug and play, they will plug you into their vision and you will get stuck in a cycle of being kind, of being kind of the assistant, you know or, yes, assistant, or being pulled into a position that you're still not ready for.

00:55:32.461 --> 00:55:33.885
So like if, if.

00:55:33.885 --> 00:55:46.516
If you are, I think people see things and can easily pull on what's there, but it's still not developed, like you can't run away from this stage of development.

00:55:46.516 --> 00:55:47.157
You know what I mean?

00:55:47.197 --> 00:55:50.686
Yeah, yeah, no, I know what you mean, I think.

00:55:50.686 --> 00:56:06.748
I think the point that I think is important, though, is that because I I'm sorry, I'm thinking, I'm thinking about specific instances in my head, right, but I also think sometimes those spaces can be used for your development.

00:56:06.748 --> 00:56:16.824
Sometimes somebody pulling you and saying, and you're at that low point and you feel like you don't know who you are or what you're supposed to be doing and somebody pulling you and saying, hey, come work for me.

00:56:16.824 --> 00:56:23.505
Sometimes those are God appointed spaces for you, those are safe spaces for you to become.

00:56:23.505 --> 00:56:26.237
But I think you also have to.

00:56:26.697 --> 00:56:33.539
You also have to be mindful of what happens when you outgrow something, and I think sometimes we stay too long.

00:56:33.539 --> 00:56:41.617
Sometimes we stay because we can't imagine ourselves being at full capacity.

00:56:41.617 --> 00:56:50.356
We can't imagine you know, like you have helped, for so long you have helped other people do their things that you can't imagine yourself doing your own thing.

00:56:50.356 --> 00:57:03.523
You know, for so long you have been the person that you know has, uh, has helped in, uh, build another person's vision, you forgot that you were the galaxy man.

00:57:03.523 --> 00:57:04.746
You were the space man.

00:57:04.746 --> 00:57:09.519
You're not the room man.

00:57:09.519 --> 00:57:12.965
You forgot who you were and you didn't realize.

00:57:12.965 --> 00:57:14.289
I think Buzz had to.

00:57:14.289 --> 00:57:23.434
In order to come out of that, you got to say maybe this light wasn't supposed to be a laser, but maybe it was a light to point the way forward.

00:57:23.434 --> 00:57:31.983
You know, maybe my wings are made of plastic, but maybe there's a way that I can use them to propel growth in an organization.

00:57:31.983 --> 00:57:41.164
You have to get to the point where you can imagine how you fit in the room, versus being told how you're supposed to fit in there.

00:57:41.164 --> 00:58:04.288
And I think for leaders who were once that enthusiastic beginner and you kind of came in green, right, and then somebody took you under their wings, or you got involved in an organization, right, and then you started questioning yourself and you started, and then you have got to get to the point where you can self-identify and say you know what.

00:58:04.829 --> 00:58:23.789
I've been through enough processing and I'm talking to middle adults right now, because I think a lot of us are in that space where we're like I don't know what's next, because I don't know how I fit into a bigger thing and I don't know how I contribute.

00:58:24.210 --> 00:58:40.681
You have got to get to the point where you can step back and you can write down the list of who you are, what it is that you have, and how you have seen those things be effective and impactful, and then start thinking about what can I build?

00:58:40.681 --> 00:58:43.369
Because we're at a building space right now.

00:58:43.369 --> 00:58:51.708
We are the ones that are going to build the corporations that these new generations will be able to find their place in.

00:58:51.708 --> 00:58:55.862
We're not the enthusiastic beginner anymore.

00:58:55.862 --> 00:59:06.840
We are at the place where we should be making space for the beginners to have room to play in and to learn themselves in, and so I think that's a process.

00:59:06.840 --> 00:59:20.829
But I do think a lot of us got pulled somewhere in our life because somebody saw something in you and said I know what to do with that, and then you went down that path and now you have to find yourself in a space where you can create.

00:59:21.896 --> 00:59:23.722
Because that disillusioned learner.

00:59:23.722 --> 00:59:29.521
The key to that is growing your competency right and to your point.

00:59:29.521 --> 00:59:30.445
That can happen.

00:59:30.445 --> 00:59:41.646
That might need to happen in a different space and under coaching and leadership that can help you, or it can happen through trial and error.

00:59:41.646 --> 00:59:56.867
You just have to learn right, and so once you do that, though, you go to this space of you, are gaining more competence, and the next stage is capable, but cautious, right performer.

00:59:56.867 --> 01:00:06.615
So this is that high competency, low commitment space where you actually are getting better, but you don't believe it yet.

01:00:06.615 --> 01:00:34.215
You're getting better, but you don't believe it yet because you're still kind of, you're still tainted by your failures and so but you really are ready, but you're, you're holding your own self back speak to someone on today, ruth Abigail, somebody needs it you're ready, but you're holding you back because of what happened.

01:00:35.539 --> 01:00:36.744
Maybe somebody is me.

01:00:36.744 --> 01:00:44.581
You tried to fly, you fell and now you're ready to fly, but you won't.

01:00:48.449 --> 01:00:48.731
My Lord.

01:00:48.994 --> 01:00:51.182
I'm going to just let that sink, my Lord.

01:00:51.182 --> 01:01:04.045
I mean, how many of us stay there Like we stay there for a while and you're sitting over here and you have everything you need, you got everything you need, but you won't jump no more.

01:01:04.045 --> 01:01:08.501
No, I ain't finna do that.

01:01:08.501 --> 01:01:10.547
I ain't finna jump, I ain't finna jump.

01:01:10.547 --> 01:01:27.902
And so you know, Buzz gets to that point where it's like he's like he actually is ready, but he still needs Woody to like, hey, we can do this and this, like you can do it.

01:01:27.902 --> 01:01:39.621
We have to do it because we got to get back home Like you are more than what you think you are and I need you to believe that so we can both move.

01:01:41.786 --> 01:01:46.003
Ooh wee have you ever felt like that Jaquita Girl.

01:01:47.096 --> 01:01:53.338
You know, as we're talking about this, I'm like, Lord, this is my life, this is.

01:01:53.338 --> 01:01:54.804
You know what I'm saying.

01:01:54.804 --> 01:02:00.704
This is my life, this is, I feel like, honestly, I feel like this is where I currently am.

01:02:00.704 --> 01:02:02.543
You know like I'm in some regards.

01:02:02.543 --> 01:02:04.132
You know like, uh, I'm in in some regards.

01:02:04.132 --> 01:02:05.115
You know like, cause I've.

01:02:05.115 --> 01:02:40.755
You know, I'm at a space where I have a new job that I've been in for about nine months, um, and I've had to learn a lot, um, but I'm also focusing on so many different areas of my life and I feel like, you know, like I'm like on a track and some, and I'm, I'm, I'm in the, I'm in the ready position, right, like my feet are in the blocks and I am, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm got my hands on the line and I'm getting ready to explode out of these blocks and I'm getting ready to run for it.

01:02:40.755 --> 01:02:50.726
And all of my training and all of my experiences and everything that I've done before is has prepared me for this moment.

01:02:50.726 --> 01:02:55.572
But it's like my mind is thinking what if you fall?

01:02:55.572 --> 01:03:30.152
Yeah, or what if somebody trusts you with something and you're not able to carry it, you're not able to follow through or you're not able to live up to the expectations that the people around you have placed on you because of how gifted and how driven and how amazing they thought you were, based off of your performance and based off of your gift.

01:03:30.152 --> 01:03:33.304
What if it falls through?

01:03:33.304 --> 01:03:52.045
You know, and I am being challenged by the Lord to do it anyway Yep, you know what I'm saying To do it anyway, to write the books anyway, to take the speaking engagement anyway, to build whatever he's calling me to build anyway.

01:03:52.045 --> 01:04:01.201
But it is because, as middle adults, we're so experienced, you know, and we've seen the ups and downs of things.

01:04:01.201 --> 01:04:07.809
Not only have we seen our own ups and downs, we've seen the ups and downs of other leaders around us.

01:04:07.809 --> 01:04:14.608
We have hundreds of examples of it working and hundreds of examples of it not.

01:04:14.608 --> 01:04:15.389
That's right.

01:04:15.389 --> 01:04:27.639
And you, I don't think it's about trusting your own capabilities, right, because I think, ultimately, buzz had to learn.

01:04:27.639 --> 01:04:37.610
It's about being empowered by who's around me and by what is also investing in me.

01:04:38.554 --> 01:04:41.971
Buzz had to learn how to become a part of something.

01:04:41.971 --> 01:04:46.224
Right, because for so long he had been a solo flyer.

01:04:46.224 --> 01:04:51.163
You know, he had his little spaceship, right, you know, and he had his mission.

01:04:51.163 --> 01:04:53.202
You know, I'm a space ranger.

01:04:53.202 --> 01:04:57.646
I work alone, you know, but that's not vision.

01:04:57.646 --> 01:05:00.217
You know like he had to become.

01:05:00.217 --> 01:05:12.512
He had to learn how to be one of those joints that supplies and how to fit into something that was greater than him.

01:05:12.512 --> 01:05:23.896
But he had to go through that point where he was like, okay, maybe it's not what I thought it was, but I'm still capable of being great Like I'm.

01:05:23.896 --> 01:05:24.197
I'm.

01:05:24.197 --> 01:05:27.699
I'm still that guy and I think in all the other movies we see him.

01:05:27.699 --> 01:05:31.027
Uh, you know being allowed to be that guy.

01:05:31.027 --> 01:05:37.056
Um, because you know in, in, you know I I don't know what you've seen or not seen the.

01:05:37.056 --> 01:05:39.601
You know you said you saw two, but you know I saw two.

01:05:39.621 --> 01:05:39.961
I did.

01:05:39.961 --> 01:05:43.304
It was a while back, know, I saw two.

01:05:43.304 --> 01:05:43.632
I did.

01:05:43.632 --> 01:05:44.001
It was a while back, but I saw.

01:05:45.088 --> 01:05:52.523
Chad, but you know, like we see him in the other movies, able to flourish as that guy.

01:05:52.523 --> 01:05:56.302
But there is that moment where you have to.

01:05:56.759 --> 01:06:11.744
You have to do it scared yeah, you have to, and Woody, I think, was very influential in helping him do that a little bit because of necessity.

01:06:11.744 --> 01:06:15.719
Yeah, no, that's exactly what I was gonna you know, I'm saying like he needed they.

01:06:15.719 --> 01:06:16.541
He needed him.

01:06:16.541 --> 01:06:20.119
Like I have to get out of here and I can't do this without you, you know.

01:06:20.119 --> 01:06:26.119
And so he pushed him, pulled up like hey van had pulled up like hey, bro, hey, and now it's Woody.

01:06:26.740 --> 01:06:27.965
Like the same voice.

01:06:27.965 --> 01:06:29.789
Ooh, child.

01:06:29.789 --> 01:06:36.045
The same voice that told you that you couldn't is now the voice telling you that you can't.

01:06:36.045 --> 01:06:38.630
Correct Child.

01:06:39.130 --> 01:06:59.561
That's good and that happens, and so I think that something that we?

01:06:59.601 --> 01:07:01.983
I think that is a great unlearning point.

01:07:01.983 --> 01:07:05.844
Like you, you know, and, but also the voice has to learn.

01:07:06.525 --> 01:07:07.585
The voice had to grow.

01:07:07.965 --> 01:07:32.996
The voice had to shift, because it's not, I'm just trying didn't shift as an influencer until he realized that he needed Buzz that's right, and not that Buzz needed him yeah, are that are that.

01:07:32.996 --> 01:07:46.615
And Woody had also realized I need the team and not just the team needs me, team needs me, right.

01:07:46.615 --> 01:07:48.519
It wasn't until he got to that space that his voice and his influence became constructive.

01:07:48.519 --> 01:07:56.922
And I think, a lot of times as leaders, if you are one of those, keep it real, tell it like it is 100, straight to the point.

01:07:56.922 --> 01:08:05.905
You know, if you're one of those people, you have to be mindful that you don't get in a space where you're telling people.

01:08:05.905 --> 01:08:19.139
Telling people I was going to say the truth, but sometimes it's just your opinions and your insights is not always the full truth, right, you have got to get out of a space of telling people.

01:08:19.139 --> 01:08:23.163
Telling people, telling people things for the sake of telling them.

01:08:23.163 --> 01:08:25.828
And in your mind you're making it.

01:08:25.828 --> 01:08:28.570
You're trying to make it seem like, but I make you better.

01:08:28.570 --> 01:08:38.056
You know I'm adding value to your life, one, you adding value to someone's life and they're not being.

01:08:38.197 --> 01:08:40.904
Any mutuality is not going to last long.

01:08:40.904 --> 01:08:49.643
Nobody is going to be able to stay in a situation where they're not able to return anything to you.

01:08:49.643 --> 01:08:51.948
You get what I'm saying.

01:08:51.948 --> 01:08:53.876
You're not going to be able to maintain that.

01:08:53.876 --> 01:08:55.117
Two.

01:08:55.117 --> 01:09:00.600
You are not telling people the truth for the sake of them having the truth.

01:09:00.600 --> 01:09:03.341
You are telling people.

01:09:04.002 --> 01:09:07.505
You can't just be a truth teller.

01:09:07.505 --> 01:09:14.548
You have to be a builder of momentum for them.

01:09:14.548 --> 01:09:16.649
You're not going to be able to increase their confidence.

01:09:16.649 --> 01:09:18.011
That's internal work.

01:09:18.011 --> 01:09:20.292
You're not going to be able to increase their belief.

01:09:20.292 --> 01:09:22.015
That's internal work.

01:09:22.015 --> 01:09:26.586
But you have to be somebody that fosters an environment that people can grow in.

01:09:26.586 --> 01:09:32.143
Yeah, and that should be your shift, not just I told you the truth and you ain't do nothing with it.

01:09:32.143 --> 01:09:37.445
Did you foster an environment where the truth could produce something positive in my life?

01:09:37.445 --> 01:09:45.576
Yeah, or did you just unload a bunch of your wisdom and knowledge and insight, like?

01:09:45.576 --> 01:09:49.543
You have to be mindful, and I think that I have been that person too.

01:09:49.543 --> 01:09:54.038
I have been the person that's like hey, I got to tell him I was that person with you?

01:09:54.841 --> 01:09:55.182
You were.

01:09:55.182 --> 01:10:14.259
I think that those were some of our hardest moments in our friendships was when I was just like I need to tell her because somebody got to tell her and I'm going to tell her because I can't hold it and I did it in a way that wasn't loving Ruth got.

01:10:14.259 --> 01:10:16.082
Ruth got the harshest version of me.

01:10:16.622 --> 01:10:19.127
I would say, and, I, and, and, and.

01:10:19.127 --> 01:10:25.367
Well, we'll see, I don't know, uh, but no, I, I am better for it.

01:10:25.367 --> 01:10:29.167
But I also didn't listen to you like yeah, that's also true, that's also very true.

01:10:29.328 --> 01:10:33.082
So it just kind of like yeah, that's why we had a couple of weeks off from our friendship.

01:10:33.422 --> 01:10:36.340
I mean, we did, we didn't take some weeks off from each other.

01:10:36.340 --> 01:10:39.190
We did um, but yeah, no, I think that.

01:10:39.190 --> 01:10:41.717
I think I think what you're saying is absolutely true.

01:10:41.717 --> 01:10:55.867
Like you, when you, when you're sharing truth with somebody, it has to be to build them up, not just to tell them something like, like you said, because you trying to get it off your chest, it's not about you and and so you feel burdened by what you know about them.

01:10:55.907 --> 01:10:57.237
Like, get out of my face.

01:10:57.237 --> 01:10:58.298
That has nothing to do.

01:10:58.298 --> 01:10:59.359
It has nothing to do with you.

01:10:59.359 --> 01:11:01.384
I really need to erase that from my vocabulary.

01:11:01.384 --> 01:11:02.945
I say it way too much.

01:11:02.945 --> 01:11:04.810
What the get out my face?

01:11:04.810 --> 01:11:09.644
That's like my thing right now and I really I get it.

01:11:09.904 --> 01:11:10.706
No, no, no, I get it.

01:11:10.706 --> 01:11:11.487
Okay.

01:11:11.487 --> 01:11:21.529
So the last, the last developmental stage is the self-reliant achiever.

01:11:21.529 --> 01:11:30.117
Stage is the self-reliant achiever.

01:11:30.117 --> 01:11:33.141
So this is where you have high competency and high, high, uh, commitment, okay.

01:11:33.141 --> 01:11:44.927
And so when you have those things, you know who you are, you know what you can do and you may be able to move independently, and so I think that we get there right.

01:11:44.927 --> 01:11:45.429
Buzz.

01:11:45.429 --> 01:12:10.065
Buzz doesn't necessarily have a chance to get there in this movie, but in the um, in the second movie, he kind of emerges as a clear part of the team, has having a clear um role and and and and kind of stepping into his own as as a leader and as somebody who is able to influence the toys.

01:12:10.065 --> 01:12:33.818
But but he had to go through that journey Like, so you, I think this is we a lot of times we want to jump from beginning to end, from the enthusiastic I am pumped and I'm going to go, from I'm pumped and ready to I'm I'm killing it and it's like that is just not the journey, that's not real, it's not real.

01:12:33.898 --> 01:12:34.779
It's just not real.

01:12:34.779 --> 01:12:39.740
You're going to have to go through those those that, that valley and that slow climb back up.

01:12:39.740 --> 01:12:44.012
And here's the thing this chart doesn't describe a person.

01:12:44.012 --> 01:12:47.282
It really describes a person's relationship with a task.

01:12:47.282 --> 01:12:54.340
So this is not saying you, as a person, go through this one time and become self-reliant leader.

01:12:54.340 --> 01:12:59.961
This all depends on the level of comfort you have with the particular task you're doing.

01:13:00.282 --> 01:13:03.851
So you could start all over with a new task.

01:13:03.851 --> 01:13:28.221
You can start all over in a new environment, in a new role, with a new situation, and all of a sudden you were self-reliant achiever over here, but you're an enthusiastic beginner over here and you have to understand how to navigate those journeys within the different realms that you're, that you're leading in, and allow yourself to develop over and over and over again.

01:13:28.221 --> 01:13:30.065
Right, continue to go through that journey.

01:13:30.065 --> 01:13:48.385
And so I think that is something that we it's really critical to unlearn that you don't go from this you know very enthusiastic person who's really excited to lead and excited to do their thing you don't go from that to the proficient um expert.

01:13:48.385 --> 01:13:50.087
You have to get, you have to.

01:13:50.087 --> 01:13:59.422
It is a rollercoaster there and then, when you get there, it's a rollercoaster to the next thing and a rollercoaster to the next thing and a rollercoaster to the next thing.

01:13:59.422 --> 01:14:01.618
This is a um.

01:14:01.618 --> 01:14:04.184
This is a consistent development process.

01:14:04.204 --> 01:14:09.503
This is not a one time thing, uh, and so that that that is.

01:14:09.503 --> 01:14:10.445
That is something I know.

01:14:10.445 --> 01:14:15.926
I've had to unlearn a lot because there are different elements of my leadership that I'm getting acquainted with.

01:14:15.926 --> 01:14:29.838
There are some elements I'm I'm very I feel like I'm a self-reliant achiever in, and then there are some that I'm like I am probably in between disillusioned learner and cautious performer, like I'm.

01:14:29.838 --> 01:14:30.922
You know, I'm a little.

01:14:31.154 --> 01:14:41.761
And there are some where I'm enthusiastic beginner, like this is gonna be great, I can't wait, right, and I just have to be prepared to be like it ain't gonna go to what you think it's gonna go.

01:14:41.761 --> 01:14:47.277
You might get a win here.

01:14:47.277 --> 01:14:47.557
You know I'm.

01:14:47.557 --> 01:14:55.721
There's a project we're doing right now that I feel that when we got a big win and now it's kind of doing that right, not in a bad way, but it's just we're, we're it's declining because we have to learn some stuff.

01:14:55.721 --> 01:15:06.177
There are things I don't know and I got to slow down and learn it.

01:15:06.177 --> 01:15:07.039
So just, I think that's.

01:15:07.039 --> 01:15:11.452
And so we see that with Buzz, at the end he goes through this journey and gets himself prepared to be that self-reliant leader.

01:15:11.471 --> 01:15:12.314
Yeah, I think there is.

01:15:12.314 --> 01:15:17.244
When I do, I have a wonderful dreams and goals workshop.

01:15:17.244 --> 01:15:25.577
Okay, if anybody wants me to come out and do it with your team, okay, I've done it a lot, so I'm very willing and available to do that.

01:15:25.577 --> 01:15:42.105
But in that I talk about kind of the journey from potential to greatness and I kind of have this chart that shows how you kind of make steps through potential and how and how you kind of have to cross over this line of comfort to get to greatness.

01:15:42.105 --> 01:15:59.381
But what I also emphasize is that what you will find when you get to greatness is that you're right back at potential, right Like because a lot of times we have this, we have these, these end goals of, of of greatness right Like, you know, like especially college students.

01:15:59.381 --> 01:16:00.966
They're like I'm going to be a lawyer.

01:16:00.966 --> 01:16:05.243
Then you get to be a lawyer and you're right back at potential, absolutely Right Like you.

01:16:05.344 --> 01:16:14.815
You made it to the point that you had in your mind was your destination, but destiny is going to require that you continue to.

01:16:14.815 --> 01:16:24.850
You continue to build on who you are and your capacities and your skills sets, and it's a constant state of becoming right.

01:16:24.850 --> 01:16:31.720
It's a constant state of who am I, how do I fit in this space, how can I be better?

01:16:31.720 --> 01:16:33.399
What do I need to do next?

01:16:33.399 --> 01:16:37.384
It's constant, and I will say also for our middle adults.

01:16:38.176 --> 01:16:55.503
Some of us and I'm just speaking from my own personal experience, I want to share this with you Some of us and I'm just speaking from my own personal experience, I want to share this with you, some of us are at points where your career is no longer the focal point of your life and you need to start focusing on other areas that you have neglected.

01:16:56.085 --> 01:17:05.256
And I think that it is going to be necessary for us, especially as we get closer to these forties and some of us already over that forties hump.

01:17:05.256 --> 01:17:26.332
All right, fellow middle adults right, if you have, you know, because we were taught to go after, to make all of our life pursuits surround like this idea of career and money and aspiration, and and now hit the gym and now financial responsibility, you know.

01:17:26.332 --> 01:17:30.740
And now family, and now friendships, and now identity.

01:17:30.740 --> 01:17:36.617
You know, and so do, what you have to do in the season to take care of yourself.

01:17:36.617 --> 01:17:44.988
Most, some of us, most of us, a lot of us have done the work to become the things in our workplaces.

01:17:44.988 --> 01:17:47.490
Take care of you, that's good.

01:17:47.954 --> 01:17:54.543
I think that's so good and, like we kind of said, let yourself go through these stages with you.

01:17:55.426 --> 01:17:59.521
Yes, you know what I'm saying, because the first person you lead is yourself.

01:18:00.184 --> 01:18:00.505
Yeah.

01:18:00.755 --> 01:18:02.020
The first person you lead is yourself.

01:18:02.039 --> 01:18:03.284
Get a hobby right, get a hobby, do something yourself.

01:18:03.284 --> 01:18:04.328
Yeah, the first person you lead is yourself.

01:18:04.328 --> 01:18:05.755
Get a hobby Right, get a hobby, do something.

01:18:05.755 --> 01:18:08.805
Do something fun yeah, for no reason.

01:18:08.805 --> 01:18:10.654
Do something that has that.

01:18:10.654 --> 01:18:13.543
Where you're not goal-oriented, there's no goal, there's no goal.

01:18:13.543 --> 01:18:15.315
Scrap the goal, you're just experiencing it.

01:18:15.336 --> 01:18:17.800
Go be a beginner in something again Go be a beginner.

01:18:18.159 --> 01:18:28.837
That that has honestly been one of the joys of my middle adulthood is being a beginner in something Like this podcast.

01:18:28.837 --> 01:18:29.899
I ain't never done this before.

01:18:29.899 --> 01:18:31.480
I was a beginner.

01:18:31.480 --> 01:18:32.421
It was really fun.

01:18:32.421 --> 01:18:35.305
You have to, you know, and I look back at my first one.

01:18:35.305 --> 01:18:39.029
It was like, ooh, that was rough, but you learn.

01:18:39.029 --> 01:18:44.039
And it's like I decided not to go look back at our.

01:18:44.039 --> 01:18:45.143
I think ours was okay.

01:18:45.143 --> 01:18:45.684
I'm sorry.

01:18:45.703 --> 01:18:46.345
The ones I was.

01:18:46.886 --> 01:18:47.427
It was rough.

01:18:47.427 --> 01:18:50.886
I mean, my whole situation was just whole, so very different, right.

01:18:50.886 --> 01:18:55.246
But you learn and you grow and you come to enjoy it.

01:18:55.246 --> 01:18:57.154
But it's fun to be a beginner, right.

01:18:57.154 --> 01:19:02.847
Go find a class that you have no experience in at all.

01:19:03.356 --> 01:19:04.304
And just enjoy right.

01:19:04.627 --> 01:19:35.788
So I think like, allow yourself to go through this process with yourself um, and and and, and live in this development like, and, and you'll find yourself um becoming right again take a break, take, take a break, a break, take a break, let's go away, let's go upstate shout out to hamilton all right, so um, uh, yeah.

01:19:35.828 --> 01:19:36.930
So yeah, take a break, man.

01:19:36.930 --> 01:19:38.194
Like like, take a break.

01:19:38.194 --> 01:19:44.480
I love what you said, like, yes, amen, um, all right, um, all right, y'all, thank you.

01:19:44.480 --> 01:19:46.162
This was I feel like.

01:19:46.162 --> 01:19:47.823
I feel like this.

01:19:47.823 --> 01:19:52.046
This feels like um very uh, I don't know.

01:19:52.046 --> 01:19:52.887
I like I love this.

01:19:52.887 --> 01:19:55.289
I love this episode, like I'm.

01:19:55.289 --> 01:19:56.251
I enjoyed this.

01:19:56.251 --> 01:19:57.051
I enjoyed this.

01:19:57.051 --> 01:19:58.760
This was good I feel healed.

01:20:05.555 --> 01:20:11.496
Um, like I feel like you know, like, like, uh, like I got some stuff that like I was like man, yeah, like I've been thinking through all of that, but I haven't been able to to formulate my thoughts around it.

01:20:11.536 --> 01:20:15.704
So yeah, yeah, this was good stuff, these stuff, um, all right y'all.

01:20:15.704 --> 01:20:22.363
So there you go, toy story, and we have, um, I think we have, uh, a couple more here in the series.

01:20:22.363 --> 01:20:27.796
So just be on the lookout and we're really excited, like us.

01:20:27.796 --> 01:20:29.984
Like we said, like share, subscribe.

01:20:29.984 --> 01:20:31.079
This was helpful to you.

01:20:31.079 --> 01:20:32.841
Send it to somebody who's an emerging leader.

01:20:33.154 --> 01:20:46.885
Send it to somebody who is a developing leader Send it to another middle adult, send it to another middle adult, send it to somebody who you think could have this could be valuable for them, and bring them to the family.

01:20:46.885 --> 01:20:55.305
All right, so until then, folks, we're going to keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom, peace.

01:20:55.305 --> 01:21:02.565
Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast.

01:21:02.565 --> 01:21:06.747
We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.

01:21:06.747 --> 01:21:13.467
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.

01:21:13.467 --> 01:21:19.774
We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

01:21:19.774 --> 01:21:25.738
See you then.