March 30, 2026

Your Desire To Be Motivated is Holding You Back!

Your Desire To Be Motivated is Holding You Back!

Send us Fan Mail We talk about why middle adulthood changes what leadership looks like and why our old sprinting habits leave us tired and stuck. We map a practical pathway from inspiration to real momentum by shifting mindset, taking the first step, then building a repeatable method you can teach to others. • Turning 40 as a signal to prioritize comfort and sustainability • Decentralizing leadership by building systems of support • Defining a leader’s real job as care, acc...

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Send us Fan Mail

We talk about why middle adulthood changes what leadership looks like and why our old sprinting habits leave us tired and stuck. We map a practical pathway from inspiration to real momentum by shifting mindset, taking the first step, then building a repeatable method you can teach to others.


• Turning 40 as a signal to prioritize comfort and sustainability
• Decentralizing leadership by building systems of support
• Defining a leader’s real job as care, accountability, direction, communication, and learning
• Redefining momentum beyond productivity and personal hustle
• Distinguishing inspiration from motivation and why neither guarantees movement
• Naming the mindset beliefs that keep us stuck and tired
• Moving before you know the full plan and why the unknown cannot be solved in advance
• Using accountability as a hack by telling the person who will be affected
• Training for endurance leadership through changing terrain
• Finishing, building a method, repeating it, then multiplying it for others
Send us a message, reply to the video, and let us know what things have you said that you were inspired to do, motivated to do, but it just never really popped off. Like, share, subscribe, comment. Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.


00:00 - Turning 40 And Choosing Comfort

04:45 - Decentralizing Yourself As A Leader

12:30 - Redefining Momentum For Sustainability

16:55 - Inspiration Versus Motivation

29:20 - Mindset Blocks That Keep You Stuck

49:10 - Movement Starts Before The Full Plan

54:20 - Endurance Leadership And The Woods Path

01:09:55 - Multiply The Method And Closing

WEBVTT

00:00:03.520 --> 00:00:05.360
Yo, yo, yo, what's up, everybody?

00:00:05.440 --> 00:00:07.759
And welcome once again to the Unlearnt Podcast.

00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:10.800
I am your host, Ruth Abigail, a K-A-R-A.

00:00:11.439 --> 00:00:12.480
What up, friends?

00:00:12.560 --> 00:00:13.919
This is your girl, Jaquita.

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And this is the podcast that is helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that you can experience what, Quita?

00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:22.399
More freedom.

00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:24.079
More freedom.

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What it do, what it do, what it do, what it do.

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What it we're such middle adults.

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We are.

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I feel like, you know, listen, you know, not to give away anybody's age, but we're giving away ages.

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40 is right here.

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Pop, pop, bop, bop, bop.

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It's like we're knocking at it.

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You know that what's the the memes that that's been going around 86?

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You have 1986, and you have uh 1986 is running and then 40 is chasing.

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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And we run it, boy.

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You ain't finna get me.

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Let me tell you something.

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40 is catching up.

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Okay.

00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:06.879
I I've started, I there are distinct things that I'm doing that I know that I'm I'm about to hit 40 and I don't even care.

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Like I'm like wearing tennis shoes to work.

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Yeah.

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But like with like dress pants, be like, you know what, let me put these tennis shoes on.

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Because what I look like wearing these heels.

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I don't need those.

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Nobody needs to do that anymore.

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No, no, no.

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You you think differently about footwear at 40.

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You know, you think differently about comfort.

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Okay.

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Listen, I'm not trying to be.

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I was at a dinner last night and had them little flimsy fold-up chairs.

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I almost left.

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Oh no.

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Almost left.

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The ones that sink a little bit when you sit in them and you gotta hold yourself up.

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I was I was so mad.

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I was like, I'm too old for this.

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No, no.

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I won't be doing old for this.

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The the team was uh discussing today doing a lock-in with the kids.

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Oh no.

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I said uh oh no, oh no.

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I fully support y'all.

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Uh I won't be sleeping on the gym floor.

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That's not something that I'll be.

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It's not even possible.

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It's it's not possible that I would find sleep that sleeps.

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It's not it's not, it's actually not physically an option.

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Um you just know there are things that you just have to uh politely exit from.

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Yeah, excuse me.

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I'm sorry.

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I hired the young folks.

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This is yeah, this is okay.

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And you know what?

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In my current role, like I didn't really have a team for a while, it was just me.

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And I ain't gonna lie, productivity was down, okay, because there are some things, there are some job activities that I was supposed to have younger people for.

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There you go.

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It wasn't supposed to be me.

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You get to a point where you're like, I am no longer the implementer.

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Uh no, no, no, no, no, no.

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I'm the mentor, I am the the voice.

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Yes, okay, that's all you need from me.

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Hello.

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Can I advise anybody?

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How can I how can I help you?

00:03:05.919 --> 00:03:06.879
Yeah, no, no, no.

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How can I support you?

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How can I support you?

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How can I support you as you do it?

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As you do it.

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That's it.

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Yeah.

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What what do you need?

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What do you need?

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What would you tell me today?

00:03:16.560 --> 00:03:19.840
You Quita was advising me on how to have a coaching meeting.

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You she said, don't say what do you need from me.

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She said, What do you need from the organization?

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I said that part.

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That part, no, decentralized.

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This is an important message for leaders, especially middle adult leaders.

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Okay, we let me tell you something.

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I know if everybody who's listening to this podcast right now, if you were to list out all of your priorities, right?

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They have significant, significantly grown since your 20s, right?

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And they are competing with each other, right?

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It's not, you know, from eight to five, I do work things, and then from five to six, I work out because my health.

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And then from six to eight, it's family time, and then I go to sleep at 8:30.

00:04:06.639 --> 00:04:15.759
No, no, everything's running together, everything's bleeding together, everything is competing for your time and for your attention, right?

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And we are no longer at the point where you can put yourself at the center of everything.

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That's the fact because there's not enough of you to lead everything.

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You need to lead the people who are leading the things, and if they start putting things back into your hands, that's when you need to say, Hold on, wait a minute, the structure of the organization, we need to re-look at this because I don't do things.

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I don't I I can.

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I can.

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But that's not that's not gonna be the best use of my time and energy.

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So what's funny is, and this is y'all not what we actually talking about today.

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However, we probably could go into this uh later, Quita.

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But I think last week is just something I jotted down.

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Like, what do you do as a leader?

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And these are five things, right?

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You care, okay, you hold the people accountable, uh-huh, you set strategic direction, you communicate, and you learn.

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Those are your doings.

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None of that, did you see anything about execution?

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That's not your job.

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That's not your job.

00:05:29.120 --> 00:05:31.759
If you have a team and you're leading a team, that's not your job.

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That the the care, accountability, direction, communication, and learning is your job.

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And that's that's where you put your energy because you you you that's that's the decentralization.

00:05:43.920 --> 00:05:51.519
And then when you when I heard that, it's like, hey, connect it to a system, a system of of support.

00:05:51.839 --> 00:05:53.439
That is what I need to like.

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I need to create a system of support.

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I don't need to do it.

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I need to create a system of support.

00:05:58.319 --> 00:05:59.680
Let me tell you something.

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You when you were in your 20s, you felt very much led to make yourself be the answer.

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Yeah, right.

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Like, I I I am going to show up as the answer to everyone's problems, right?

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Because you're looking for that sense of like purpose and identity.

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And like a part of your identity as a young adult is this is what I'm good at, and this is what I do, and this is where I fit, this is where my significance is, right?

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And a lot of our a lot of your significance in your 20s and early 30s is in being the person that people can depend on to do things, right?

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But when you get, I think when you get to this middle adult leadership stage, especially for those of us who are in middle management, who are now pushing forward into more executive management roles, right?

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Like you have to decentralize yourself as I'm not the answer, but I am the person who is forming and shaping the answers so that so that our the systems of our organization can respond to the needs as they come up.

00:07:11.759 --> 00:07:12.399
That's right.

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Um and that makes you a more valuable player.

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It does not the most visible, that's right, but the most valuable.

00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:20.160
That's right.

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And I think that's the shift from young adulthood to middle adulthood.

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It's a shift from being visible as a groundworker and being valuable as kind of like a top-down worker.

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Yeah.

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And I I to like I think that the as you move into that state, we have to redefine momentum.

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See what I did there?

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See how I did?

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See how I did it.

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Here we go.

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We gotta we gotta redefine momentum.

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And so like, because for for for so long, momentum has been about doing and tasks.

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And like, you know, we're we're we're we're we're we got juggling these many things, and it's like productivity, right, has been what momentum has been about.

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And what we don't realize a lot of times is that there's a process to momentum that we we we forget about when we're not in that executing stage.

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It's not that you you it's not that you don't have a pathway towards momentum, it looks different.

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And so you have to break down the process so that in this season of your life and your leadership, um you understand how to get momentum without necessarily being the executor.

00:08:44.159 --> 00:08:44.720
That makes sense.

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That's so good.

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And I will tell you, you know, I, you know, this honesty, transparency, that's one of our tenets here on the on the Unlearned podcast.

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You know, I'm at a stage in my life where I've really been asking myself, like, why am I so tired all the time?

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Right?

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Like why I just feel exhausted.

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And a part of it is because, you know, middle adulthood.

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I mean, yeah, you're just tired.

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Yeah, different challenges, and and you really are juggling more.

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But and also if your energy, if your motivation, if your um if your capacity is being misused, like if it's not being exerted in a way that matches the stage of life you're in, you're not aligned, right?

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And so you're you're running a race that's no longer yours.

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Yes, right.

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You you still trying to do the sprints.

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We're not we not sprinters no more.

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Yeah, right.

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We're long distance.

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That requires pacing, yes, that requires different breathing techniques, right?

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Yeah that requires not necessarily being the fastest one in the beginning, but being the one that can sustain the longest, right?

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Like that's what leadership looks like at this point.

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It's not sprinting from goal to go to goal, it's building a long-range plan that can sustain an organization and the people that are within that organization, yeah.

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And so you have to shift your mindset to move from being a sprinter to being more of this cross-country runner, yeah.

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Right.

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And um, and by the way, I did neither one of those, but it's not the point.

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Okay, it's okay.

00:10:25.919 --> 00:10:26.879
Joy did it, all right.

00:10:27.039 --> 00:10:27.759
Joy does it.

00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:28.480
Oh, it does it.

00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:32.559
Joy be running, so yeah, it's represented on the podcast.

00:10:37.039 --> 00:10:38.879
Don't worry about what me and Ruth Abigail does.

00:10:39.039 --> 00:10:39.840
Yeah, don't worry about it.

00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:40.480
Okay.

00:10:41.440 --> 00:10:41.919
Sure.

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We have worked out recently.

00:10:44.799 --> 00:10:45.279
Before.

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Oh Lord, I'm getting my life back together though.

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Don't worry about me.

00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:55.039
Don't worry about me.

00:10:55.440 --> 00:11:10.399
Um, but you know, you you if you are if you are in a long distance race and you start sprinting, and you're gonna feel really good at the beginning because you're gonna be like, yeah, man, I just sped past everybody else and I'm I'm all the way up here.

00:11:10.720 --> 00:11:16.639
But like literally, what when you used to maybe just do a hundred yards and now you're doing two miles.

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And so you sprinted that 100 yards and used everything you had to get one thing done, yeah, when really now you have 20 million things to do, right?

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And and so what looked good in the beginning is not sustainable.

00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:36.799
And I think that's that's the challenge for middle adulthood is sustainability.

00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:37.919
No, seriously.

00:11:38.240 --> 00:11:40.879
How do I sustain what I have begun?

00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:42.240
So that's real.

00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:56.240
Like, I mean, and that's that's we're we're you know, we're kind of we're kind of using work as an example, but you think about by the time you get to your 40s, which is really difficult for me to say, but by the time you get there, you know what I'm saying?

00:11:56.639 --> 00:12:01.600
It I mean, so and and this is the season, this is kind of like a commonality in the season of life.

00:12:01.759 --> 00:12:07.840
You really do start to your career starts to really start to gain a little bit more momentum in your life.

00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:10.720
Like you, you get you you're a little more settled there.

00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:14.639
Um, you know, you might have a family, you might have children, you might be married.

00:12:14.799 --> 00:12:17.360
Um, you're your your parents are getting older.

00:12:17.519 --> 00:12:25.440
Um, you you have um you you might have uh you might be an aunt or an uncle and you're you're you know you're supporting your your siblings.

00:12:26.080 --> 00:12:26.799
You said what?

00:12:27.039 --> 00:12:30.639
I said might be you are you got a friend, a you you do somebody, right?

00:12:30.799 --> 00:12:33.360
You got children in your in your circle, yeah.

00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:36.480
Which means you have parents you have to support, right?

00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:37.279
Right.

00:12:37.440 --> 00:12:47.039
So, you know, you you might have um different uh roles in in your in your church community or in you know your your your grand in other other circles.

00:12:47.360 --> 00:12:59.360
There are like when you think about all of those things, like it there's a lot of different there's all this energy that has to be directed in all these different places.

00:12:59.840 --> 00:13:04.000
And so to your point, the sustainability factor is so critical.

00:13:04.320 --> 00:13:14.399
Like if you it is not going, you cannot, you can't meet that, meet these challenges in the same way you did 20 years ago.

00:13:14.799 --> 00:13:17.360
Um, you don't have you didn't have all that.

00:13:17.679 --> 00:13:23.600
A lot of people didn't have all of that 20 years ago, some did, but like in this season, it was very different.

00:13:23.679 --> 00:13:28.639
And so I think as as we're talking about this, like what does momentum look like?

00:13:28.799 --> 00:13:35.279
And I think, you know, um we there's a process to momentum.

00:13:35.519 --> 00:13:39.440
And momentum, I also the thing again, again, the sustainability factor.

00:13:40.159 --> 00:13:44.639
I I told one of my my team members this today, it's a principle of slowing down to speed up.

00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:52.240
Like there's a um the process of momentum is a lot of times you slow down to speed up.

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There are some things you have to do before you just sprint.

00:13:55.919 --> 00:14:09.600
Um and so we're gonna we're gonna just talk about that, but it turns itself into a system because systems are what get momentum, um, not necessarily your personal hustle.

00:14:10.080 --> 00:14:13.679
That is not you not you can't gain momentum like that.

00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:27.200
Um when you think about a hill and you're rolling down a hill, as you, as the ball gets further down the hill, it gains momentum, but it starts off slow and it gains it as it's moving.

00:14:27.440 --> 00:14:30.879
And then you realize, okay, this is what momentum looks like.

00:14:31.120 --> 00:14:35.200
So and now you can repeat the process once you understand what it looks like.

00:14:35.440 --> 00:14:40.799
So we're we we just want to like run through some principles around that.

00:14:41.039 --> 00:14:47.840
And um previous Freedom Friday we put out, kind of went through it fast, like went kind of quickly through them, through each one of these.

00:14:47.919 --> 00:14:59.279
We're gonna take our time a little bit and just kind of break down uh what this pathway to momentum looks like and what it's not and what we think it is, and it's really not.

00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:07.679
Like we we think we got momentum somewhere, and really you just you just got motivated and didn't do anything.

00:15:08.320 --> 00:15:09.519
Like, you know what I'm saying?

00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:10.480
Let's just be real.

00:15:10.639 --> 00:15:22.720
You got motivated and excited, and then you sat down and you thought that was enough to gain momentum, and it's not, and so I think you know not, it's not like motivation.

00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:26.080
Sorry, unlearn that that's not enough.

00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:34.480
We we get motivated every day, like like Queen was we see we see people telling us to do exercise and go to the gym just about every day in some shape or form.

00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:38.879
And that has not happened in a few months for me.

00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:45.279
But you know, I tell people like something, uh a small distinction.

00:15:45.519 --> 00:15:54.720
We get inspired every day, like we get made like, and when you get inspired, that helps you to like think differently and believe differently, right?

00:15:54.799 --> 00:16:00.960
Like you're like, oh wow, like man, working out is a great part of life that we all should do.

00:16:01.120 --> 00:16:02.879
I am inspired, right?

00:16:02.960 --> 00:16:07.279
But there's no movement in inspiration.

00:16:07.519 --> 00:16:11.200
Motivation, you are not truly motivated if you're not moving.

00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:12.559
That's correct.

00:16:13.120 --> 00:16:21.679
That's you're not, but I would even I would even spark you got a spark, but I would even argue there's some things that have to happen even before the movement.

00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:22.639
Yeah.

00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:27.360
When you get when you're when you're headed towards motivation, but agreed, inspiration comes first.

00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:30.399
Like at the at the end of the day, inspiration comes first.

00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:34.240
Um, and Quita, you know, Quita is an inspirational person.

00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:35.200
I'm really not.

00:16:35.279 --> 00:16:36.559
I'm not an inspirational person.

00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:38.720
I I have no, I that's not my gift.

00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:40.000
I'm more of a motivation.

00:16:40.080 --> 00:16:41.360
I'm gonna help you to move.

00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:43.679
Quida's gonna help you to want to move.

00:16:43.919 --> 00:16:46.960
Like, um, very true.

00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:47.600
It's true.

00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:51.759
You gotta know who you're talking to when you call your friends.

00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:52.399
Yes.

00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:56.480
Okay, when I call Ruth, Ruth has now started asking me.

00:16:56.559 --> 00:17:09.920
I will tell her, I'll be like, man, you know, the situation is happening, and I'll just describe the situation, and then there will be a pause, it'll be silence, and she will say, What version of me do you want?

00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:24.880
Like, and because she knows that I I I and I but I have prepared myself for her to give me my three-step action plan of what I need to do about what I just told her, you know.

00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:35.680
But I gotta be in the right mindset for that, and there's a mutual respect there for both of us now to be like, yeah, let's let's let's make sure we're both able to hear each other.

00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:37.440
No, no, you speak truth.

00:17:37.519 --> 00:17:38.079
No, no, no.

00:17:38.160 --> 00:17:42.559
And I we've had to learn that because that I I've had to learn how to ask that question.

00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:44.319
Like, who am I right now?

00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:45.920
What do you want from me?

00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:48.640
Um, because I know what my tendency is.

00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:49.839
But you just said something, okay.

00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:50.640
So let's go through it.

00:17:50.720 --> 00:17:54.799
So, like, quite frankly, I think inspiration we need to say first, right?

00:17:54.880 --> 00:17:55.759
We get inspired.

00:17:55.839 --> 00:18:04.640
How like we are um we we get this, you know, this in inner, you know, uh, what's how would you describe it?

00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:05.599
You can't even define it.

00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:08.799
I don't, I don't, you know, just like we get all we get our things.

00:18:09.119 --> 00:18:09.440
Help me.

00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:11.839
What how would you define inspiration?

00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:14.319
So funny.

00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:21.039
Um, you know, I think I think inspiration is it's it's empowerment, right?

00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:32.960
Like it is it is something that makes a light bulb go off, or it it forges a new pathway in your mind, or a new neuron.

00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:37.519
Uh sorry, I was gonna be scientific, but Joyce I hear it and I can't do it.

00:18:37.759 --> 00:18:44.480
Um but it it it creates a new groove for you to think a different way, right?

00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:50.400
You have to be inspired in order to in order to be able to believe differently.

00:18:50.640 --> 00:18:52.319
That belief, yes, yeah.

00:18:52.480 --> 00:19:08.640
Inspiration gives you the pathway to say, wait a minute, maybe I wasn't looking at this correctly, maybe I didn't have the right perspective, maybe I uh didn't have the right understanding of what I'm actually capable of doing and capable of having.

00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:12.880
Um, and so it reframes the way you see something.

00:19:13.119 --> 00:19:13.440
Okay.

00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:25.680
So after after inspiration, after you've gotten to that point, which a lot of which I do think is it's a it's a critical first step.

00:19:25.920 --> 00:19:28.559
I I would argue that the next step is you are motivated.

00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:30.960
There's something that makes you want to move.

00:19:31.200 --> 00:19:34.480
Doesn't mean you've moved yet, but it makes you want to move.

00:19:34.640 --> 00:19:36.960
And it's like, okay, all right.

00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:45.680
So, Quita, what are some things in your life, and I'll name some too, that you have been inspired and then motivated to do?

00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:51.359
Um specifically that you haven't done, because we want to get into that, okay?

00:19:51.519 --> 00:19:53.039
We want to talk about like what that is.

00:19:53.440 --> 00:20:09.599
Oh man, you know, the whole idea of being a motivational speaker and just really going forth with that, okay, you know, and allowing myself to really do the work to build the infrastructure for it.

00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:13.119
Um, tag on to that, writing some books.

00:20:13.279 --> 00:20:13.599
There you go.

00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:18.640
Anything I could talk about PhD, but that's neither here nor there.

00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:21.359
But you're doing that, you're doing that, yeah.

00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:34.319
And that's my excuse to be like, you know, when I write this dissertation, that's gonna be a book, but it's not gonna be the type of book that I really want to distribute that I I you know that is close to my heart.

00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:38.720
And so I've been saying I wanted to be an author since I was nine.

00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:43.519
You know, like I when I was young, I was like, I'm going to write books.

00:20:43.839 --> 00:20:45.359
Okay, I didn't know, I didn't know that.

00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:51.440
You were knock, knock, knocking at 4T, and there are no books.

00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:52.799
No books.

00:20:53.039 --> 00:20:55.519
There are no books.

00:20:55.839 --> 00:20:57.359
You have no books.

00:20:58.799 --> 00:21:00.559
I did a blog for a while.

00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:01.519
Yes, you did.

00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:02.319
Yes, you did.

00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.480
And uh written some sermons.

00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:06.000
Unstuck on purpose.

00:21:06.240 --> 00:21:07.039
Unstuck on purpose.

00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:11.440
It was actually leads us heart, but on purpose was my hashtag.

00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:13.759
Ah, yes, unstuck on purpose.

00:21:13.920 --> 00:21:15.839
And I and I listen, I still use that.

00:21:16.160 --> 00:21:17.279
It was a good hashtag.

00:21:17.680 --> 00:21:18.000
Okay.

00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:23.519
Um, but you know, I I there are things that I was really inspired.

00:21:23.680 --> 00:21:31.119
I have little drafts of, you know, titles and book chapter names, but no book.

00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:31.759
Sure.

00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:32.240
No.

00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:34.160
Sorry, this feels like a conventional movie.

00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:35.200
No, it's okay.

00:21:35.279 --> 00:21:35.920
I've got some.

00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:36.559
You're fine.

00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:41.119
There was once a we were gonna um start a t-shirt business back in the day.

00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:45.519
Um and I actually now I actually moved on this.

00:21:45.599 --> 00:21:46.799
I bought the t-shirts.

00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:50.640
Um, so this is back when you buy a t-shirt.

00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:57.039
This was this so Ashley, if Ashley, if Ashley is listening to this, she'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

00:21:57.200 --> 00:21:59.839
This is when this is when um me and me and Ashley.

00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:05.039
And uh we were living together, and another friend of ours, we came with this concept.

00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:07.680
I look back on that, it was pretty cheesy.

00:22:07.759 --> 00:22:09.039
Well, we came with this concept.

00:22:09.119 --> 00:22:12.880
We wanted to do these like um kind of what we call it a Bible talk.

00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:28.480
And it's like we wanted to do these like informal kind of Bible studies, but do it like not our small groups, but not do it through like a church per se, just because it's like we thought it was better to do it with people you already have a relationship with and like sign up for this small group.

00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:43.039
So we were like, hey, we should start this movement and like bring friends together and really hold on friendship and use the by and like talk about the Bible and faith and all this stuff with your friends intentionally, as opposed to just with a group at your church that you don't really notice people.

00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:44.480
How is that cheesy?

00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:46.400
Oh, maybe it okay.

00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:48.799
Well, maybe not, but I need to edit this out.

00:22:48.880 --> 00:22:50.160
Don't be taking my personal side.

00:22:50.559 --> 00:22:54.079
We thought it was a good idea, but we were like, oh, we we got a name for it and all this stuff.

00:22:54.160 --> 00:22:57.279
We we were working on a website and I bought the t-shirts.

00:22:57.599 --> 00:22:59.519
I still have t-shirts in my drawer.

00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:01.200
Um, this was 10 plus years ago.

00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:03.200
And so I never knew this.

00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:04.000
Really?

00:23:04.400 --> 00:23:06.480
No, I had no idea what you're talking about.

00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:07.039
Yeah.

00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:09.200
Um, and then it just kind of fizzled out.

00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:12.559
I think I I think we just had different ideas of where to go.

00:23:12.720 --> 00:23:16.000
I think, you know, it's tough to do something all at one time.

00:23:16.160 --> 00:23:17.759
So anyway, that was one thing.

00:23:18.480 --> 00:23:24.000
I thought it was a good idea, but and we but we we moved, but we moved only so far.

00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:31.759
Um, I've been saying I want to do coaching and consulting, which I've I still want to do, but I'm not I haven't moved on it yet.

00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.880
Um, I've been inspired and motivated to do that.

00:23:35.200 --> 00:23:48.720
Uh when I was teaching music, I was I had these thoughts of like growing that business, like where I would hire um other teachers and you know, do this method of teaching or whatever.

00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:49.680
I never did that.

00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:51.680
I said I'd go get my MBA.

00:23:53.440 --> 00:23:54.880
Said that a few years ago.

00:23:55.599 --> 00:24:00.079
And I said if I go back to school, I'd want to get my MBA.

00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:03.359
And uh that has not happened.

00:24:03.599 --> 00:24:05.359
Um, I've talked about that.

00:24:05.680 --> 00:24:06.880
I've never done it.

00:24:07.119 --> 00:24:12.799
Uh I recently I'm like, hey, I want to I'm gonna need to get back into the piano and practice more.

00:24:13.359 --> 00:24:15.119
I will say I did move.

00:24:15.440 --> 00:24:18.160
I got the book, I got books, particularly classical.

00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:19.519
Like I want to get back into that.

00:24:19.599 --> 00:24:26.160
I haven't done that in years, and I want to pick up some pieces I used to do in college, which is very ambitious because believe it or not, I used to be pretty good.

00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:29.519
I used to be pretty good in college.

00:24:29.680 --> 00:24:31.839
I have lost that as of right now.

00:24:31.920 --> 00:24:33.920
I can get it back, but it's not with me today.

00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:38.079
Um but I I had my my books at my mama's house.

00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:39.680
I finally went to go get them on Sunday.

00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:44.640
I said I'm going to go get these books, and I have actually put in a little bit of work.

00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:46.640
So it's in process.

00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:49.680
I'm I'm not I'm not consistent, but we're getting there.

00:24:49.920 --> 00:24:52.079
Um but I've been saying that forever.

00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:54.079
Like I've been saying that for so long.

00:24:54.319 --> 00:25:04.480
And so these are some things that we have said out loud, maybe not said out loud, have attempted to do.

00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:05.119
Yeah.

00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:07.839
And we have come short of momentum.

00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:09.119
Listen, that part.

00:25:09.279 --> 00:25:11.680
Now that we've named some things, why don't you drop it?

00:25:12.000 --> 00:25:13.599
We want to draw, we want to hear some stuff.

00:25:14.079 --> 00:25:15.279
Okay, we don't want to feel alone.

00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:15.519
Okay.

00:25:16.480 --> 00:25:30.160
Send us a message, reply to the video, and let us know what things have you said that you were inspired to do, motivated to do, but it just never really popped off.

00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:30.480
Right?

00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:31.599
Never really got there.

00:25:31.759 --> 00:25:35.839
Yeah, and you know, a lot of these things, like I still really feel like I'm gonna do them.

00:25:36.000 --> 00:26:00.160
You know, like maybe not that t-shirt business, but I really feel like, I really feel like like I have not lost my opportunity to do them, but I I I have refined who I am, and so it's gonna get done in a different way, but I do have to put a lot more intentionality behind the movement after motivation in order to get that done.

00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:04.480
And so I think that the thing, and we talk about this a lot, Quito.

00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:18.799
The motivation, like I I think I get how I get motivated by the thing that motivates me oftentimes is like being able to see something and like vision it because I'm a I'm a visual person.

00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:23.200
And it's like if I can see it, then it motivates me to want to do it.

00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:25.200
It's hard for me to do it if I can't see it.

00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:27.839
And so it's like, okay, I can see this.

00:26:27.920 --> 00:26:30.480
I can actually see myself doing this, or I can see this happening.

00:26:30.960 --> 00:26:32.319
And that usually motivates me.

00:26:32.559 --> 00:26:38.880
Also, what motivates me is like some sort of purpose behind it, like the why.

00:26:39.039 --> 00:26:41.440
Like, okay, why do I want to do this?

00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:46.559
And um keeping that at the forefront and just reminding myself of it.

00:26:46.720 --> 00:26:51.039
What what motive what what usually gets you motivated?

00:26:51.759 --> 00:27:04.000
Um I I would say the the purpose piece and knowing that it is for me, I am a service-oriented person.

00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:24.480
So knowing that the purpose of what I'm doing is tied to the success of other people and tied to the success of something that's larger than myself, which is what I think like ultimately purpose has to be connected to something that's larger than you, like that that will motivate me because I can be lazy for me all day.

00:27:27.359 --> 00:27:27.839
Oh yeah.

00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:35.039
You know, but when when I feel like there are other things on the line, I think it's the oldest daughter in me.

00:27:35.119 --> 00:27:35.279
Yeah.

00:27:35.519 --> 00:27:35.759
Right.

00:27:35.839 --> 00:27:38.079
That's like, hey, you know, I can't let it fall.

00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:40.000
You know, I gotta, I gotta hold it up.

00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:40.400
Yeah.

00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:49.200
Um that that is definitely usually that's that's usually when I come to a decision point of of what I need to take action on.

00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:49.839
Yeah.

00:27:50.079 --> 00:27:55.279
That's um, yeah, I think uh, yeah, that that other people thing is important.

00:27:55.359 --> 00:27:57.440
It kind of, it's it's the it's the accountability.

00:27:57.680 --> 00:28:07.440
It's like I I feel like I can I I don't um I don't I don't care for me like I care for others.

00:28:07.680 --> 00:28:11.759
And so wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:28:12.160 --> 00:28:19.680
Because I just really feel like that's something we as middle adults, especially middle adult women, like we we gotta address that.

00:28:19.920 --> 00:28:21.119
We do, we do, we do.

00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:23.119
That's so problematic.

00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:24.559
I mean, and I'm the same way.

00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:25.759
No, no, no, yeah, no.

00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:43.680
But you know, like I think like when we are considering why we do things, it is oftentimes at our um not at our detriment, but at a cost to us and and rarely of benefit to us personally.

00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:44.319
Yes.

00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:47.759
Um, and so how do we how do we find the middle ground of that?

00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:48.640
I don't know.

00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:49.839
I don't have an answer.

00:28:50.559 --> 00:28:51.200
Yeah, I don't know.

00:28:52.799 --> 00:29:00.000
Yeah, I apologize because normally, you know, we do have answers, but yeah, we everybody, everybody take a moment and ponder on that for yourself.

00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:00.720
Seriously.

00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:02.240
Okay, like yeah.

00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:09.359
Well, how do you, I mean, what do you because that that is a thing, and I think I feel like I feel like we are getting better at it.

00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:10.960
It just doesn't come naturally.

00:29:11.119 --> 00:29:18.319
Like I am much more willing to sacrifice my own well-being than sacrifice the well-being of other people.

00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:19.920
Like, yeah, I'm not willing to do that.

00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:22.240
I don't think that that's necessarily a bad thing.

00:29:22.400 --> 00:29:28.960
I mean, I think that I think, especially as believers, that's part of the model that we're called to follow.

00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:31.680
But also, I think that we take it too far.

00:29:31.920 --> 00:29:36.799
Like, I think that we have completely sacrificed our well-being.

00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:51.039
Like, there's one thing to like sacrifice your time or your gifting or your our giving input to something versus I am going to lay myself down so that this thing may thrive.

00:29:51.279 --> 00:29:54.799
Um we do that in every area of our lives.

00:29:55.039 --> 00:29:55.359
Yeah.

00:29:55.920 --> 00:29:56.160
Yeah.

00:29:56.640 --> 00:29:56.880
Yeah.

00:29:57.039 --> 00:29:58.079
And it's not healthy.

00:29:58.720 --> 00:29:59.599
We can't keep doing that.

00:29:59.680 --> 00:30:01.680
It's again, it's not sustainable, right?

00:30:01.839 --> 00:30:08.480
Um but but to to the moment to the motivation piece, I am more, I am motivated to your point.

00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:30.240
I think I add this, I'll echo what you said, like when it when it involves um, when it involves other people and their progress in some way, like um, whether it's my family or you know, young people I serve or my team or whatever, like it it's important to me.

00:30:30.480 --> 00:30:33.359
So I can be motivated by that.

00:30:33.599 --> 00:30:42.079
Um the thing that happens after you're motivated, you know the purpose, you're you're aware of it, you may see it.

00:30:42.240 --> 00:30:45.440
It's like I can do this, like I believe I can do this.

00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:48.079
You still haven't done anything yet.

00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:52.240
And where we get stuck is there a lot of times.

00:30:52.400 --> 00:30:54.240
Like we get stuck in that place.

00:30:54.400 --> 00:30:58.079
Like it's enough to believe you can do it and to want to do it.

00:30:58.799 --> 00:31:00.000
But nothing ever gets done.

00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:05.920
And so to the things that we were sharing, it's like, hey, at some point I believed I could do this and I wanted to do it.

00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:09.599
These are genuine things, but it didn't happen, right?

00:31:09.839 --> 00:31:22.640
And so the next thing that you have to work through again, and I think these three things are the beginning of the hill that your ball is rolling down, and it's it's a slow movement.

00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:26.000
Inspiration, motivation, and this next one mindset.

00:31:27.039 --> 00:31:29.680
Those three things are gonna take the most time.

00:31:30.960 --> 00:31:42.559
Um but that that mindset shift is the is the part of that that uh where we really get stuck, like you know, like we get so stuck there, you know.

00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:51.440
I'll I'll so an example for me there is like if I'm just being transparent with the thank you for that.

00:31:51.680 --> 00:32:03.279
Uh with the um, you know, leading an organization that is a non-profit.

00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:04.960
I think I've said this before.

00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:07.839
I have I'm not driven by making money.

00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:08.640
I never have been.

00:32:08.720 --> 00:32:13.839
It's not that I don't want to make a living, don't get me wrong, but I'm not driven by making a lot of money.

00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:19.279
Um and so the work I do is not characterized by profit.

00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:22.720
It's not that's not, you know, although I'll argue it is running a business.

00:32:22.799 --> 00:32:26.000
I don't think that it's it's obviously doing it, it's just a different type of business.

00:32:27.599 --> 00:32:43.279
Starting any other business, coaching, consulting, whatever, I'll specifically that the thing that I gotta get, my mindset shift is people don't know me for making money.

00:32:45.119 --> 00:32:51.119
I have more of an altruistic servant kind of identity to the small world that I'm in.

00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:52.079
Yeah.

00:32:52.400 --> 00:33:00.559
And for me, to some degree, that mindset that mindset shift is it's okay for you to make a profit.

00:33:01.200 --> 00:33:01.839
Wow.

00:33:03.119 --> 00:33:06.880
Because that's not how I've been in the world.

00:33:07.440 --> 00:33:07.839
Wow.

00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:09.119
It's not how I've shown up.

00:33:09.519 --> 00:33:10.160
Yeah.

00:33:10.799 --> 00:33:13.759
And so I have not gotten there.

00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:14.799
I'm not there.

00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:35.519
I I feel like I inch towards there, but there's still something that kind of like, especially doing it simultaneously to being in the role I'm in, but even after, you know, when my tenure is up with this particular role, going into something that's not that that's where I'm making a profit, you know, I think it's gonna be a real shift for me.

00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:41.839
And it's has nothing to do with the fact that I don't think I deserve it, it's the identity factor in the world I've been in.

00:33:42.079 --> 00:33:42.400
Yeah.

00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:43.920
You know what I'm saying?

00:33:44.160 --> 00:34:00.000
Yeah, because you know, for first of all, every time you say mindset, I keep hearing it as two distinct words that like our mind has become set on something because we have been in that place for so long.

00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:09.760
And so, like, even like what you're saying about being in that nonprofit world and that becoming not only like what you do, but who you are, right?

00:34:09.840 --> 00:34:20.079
Like, and we allow what we do to become who we are, so much to the point that your mind becomes set in what you do.

00:34:20.320 --> 00:34:22.719
Um, and and it becomes set in a place.

00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:31.679
And in order to get yourself out of that, you literally have to, you can't mobilize your own efforts until you mobilize your mind.

00:34:31.760 --> 00:34:32.880
Yeah, and that's right.

00:34:33.199 --> 00:34:36.480
Your mind has to be flexible.

00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:47.920
And uh I think they talk about like neuroplasticity, like right, like you have to allow your mind to move in ways that maybe it really hasn't moved in quite a while.

00:34:48.079 --> 00:34:54.960
Because one thing I know about Ruth Abigail, while we're being transparent, Ruth Abigail ain't got no problem coming up with a way to make money.

00:34:55.199 --> 00:34:55.519
Okay.

00:34:57.119 --> 00:35:01.199
Every time it, you know, so I bake pound cakes, right, for fun.

00:35:01.440 --> 00:35:13.440
Okay, like, you know, because I'm good at it and I know it's an easy way for me to give something to someone or to do something for someone, and you know, and be like, hey, here's a pound cake, right?

00:35:13.599 --> 00:35:23.840
Ruth Abigail gave me a full-fledged business, and she was like, You can fund all of the things if you will just sell 20 pound cakes at Thanksgiving.

00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:26.400
Hey, you know, hey, it's the truth.

00:35:26.639 --> 00:35:30.239
Like, but that's that's the way your mind naturally works, right?

00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:47.119
But when it comes to you, your mind has become set in a place, and I think that you the only way to make something um move differently is you gotta flex it differently.

00:35:47.280 --> 00:35:55.280
You have to exercise it differently, you have to use it differently, or else it will kind of go back into its normal flow.

00:35:55.440 --> 00:36:02.159
Yeah, and so you have all of these ideas and all of these ways that you make the organization you work for money.

00:36:02.400 --> 00:36:03.039
Yeah.

00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:04.639
You're you know what I'm saying?

00:36:04.719 --> 00:36:14.639
Like you have 10 million methods for bringing in money and funds and resources and connections and partnerships, you know.

00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:21.440
And so, how do we get ourselves out of a space of being stiff?

00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:23.360
Because that's really what it is.

00:36:23.519 --> 00:36:31.039
Like when you're when your mind has become set, it really means that there's an area in your life that you have become stiff.

00:36:31.199 --> 00:36:31.519
Yeah.

00:36:31.840 --> 00:36:32.079
Right.

00:36:32.239 --> 00:36:35.119
And you've become almost immovable.

00:36:35.519 --> 00:36:39.360
Um, and the only way, the only cure to that is to move anyway.

00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:40.000
Yeah.

00:36:40.079 --> 00:36:42.000
That's it's to do it anyway.

00:36:42.159 --> 00:36:53.599
To to do it when you don't, when you feel like you can't, or to do it when you feel like it won't work, or to do it when you feel like you're gonna be judged, and people are gonna be like, oh, I thought she was about the people.

00:36:54.079 --> 00:36:57.760
I I am about the people, me as a person.

00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:08.960
Okay, with a family, yeah, and with and with other goals and and uh and and objectives to my life, other than what you may have known me for.

00:37:09.119 --> 00:37:12.800
And so how do you become a person that you haven't known?

00:37:14.159 --> 00:37:18.159
You know, I think, and yeah, it starts it starts in the mindset.

00:37:18.400 --> 00:37:26.559
And the only way you can be encouraged to step outside of yourself is that you have to have people around you.

00:37:27.039 --> 00:37:39.119
You have to have people around you who have either flexed those muscles before, right, or who are further ahead ahead that can say, hey, I see where you are, this is the way, right?

00:37:39.280 --> 00:37:47.440
And I think a lot of times as middle adults, we have gotten very used to encouraging, inspiring, and motivating ourselves, right?

00:37:47.599 --> 00:37:50.079
Or to go into a YouTube, like, I'll figure it out.

00:37:50.159 --> 00:37:53.679
You know, I find a YouTube video, you know, like right, right, right.

00:37:54.079 --> 00:37:57.280
You know, I also think it's because of all the financial things we've been through.

00:37:57.360 --> 00:37:59.440
We've been like, I ain't paying nobody for this, right?

00:37:59.519 --> 00:38:07.199
Well, right, YouTube University will show me how to do this, right?

00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:09.440
Something break, I'm gonna figure it out.

00:38:09.599 --> 00:38:13.840
I ain't paying nobody to fix nothing or to help me get to the next level.

00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:22.960
Somebody on YouTube will show me, but there comes a point in your life where to get somewhere that you've never been, you got to do something you've never done.

00:38:23.199 --> 00:38:26.480
100%, or else your mind will stay set.

00:38:26.719 --> 00:38:28.079
And you and you said it.

00:38:28.159 --> 00:38:34.320
I think we try to do this ourselves, but really the secret sauce is getting with other people who are doing it.

00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:36.480
Um, that's the that's the sauce.

00:38:36.639 --> 00:38:38.079
Like we we have to do that.

00:38:38.159 --> 00:38:43.280
I I'm blessed to have a community of people, um, of friends who are that.

00:38:43.519 --> 00:38:46.239
They're entrepreneurs, they they make money, they do that.

00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:51.519
And I and you know, I'm the only one, I think currently I'm the only one in the nonprofit field right now.

00:38:51.679 --> 00:38:59.119
And so um when we have conversations, sometimes I just I shut up and listen because I'm I'm I'm just listening.

00:38:59.440 --> 00:39:02.480
And it's like because I have I need this, right?

00:39:02.639 --> 00:39:11.679
And they don't they don't even really realize what it does for me, but it's like I gotta my mindset has to because I have to realize most of my problem is me.

00:39:11.920 --> 00:39:13.039
It's not other people.

00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:19.760
I would dare say nine out of 10 people would be like, yeah, that's exactly what you need to be doing.

00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:22.320
Yes, and this is how you need to do it, X, Y, Z, X, Y, Z.

00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:22.960
Yeah.

00:39:23.280 --> 00:39:25.360
It's me, it's my mindset.

00:39:25.519 --> 00:39:28.000
And so me, it's me, it's me, oh Lord.

00:39:28.320 --> 00:39:28.800
My Lord.

00:39:29.199 --> 00:39:34.960
And so it's not, it's not other people, it's what I perceive from other people, and that's not always true.

00:39:35.199 --> 00:39:44.320
And I think like that can be the hardest thing about changing your mindset is admitting that your mindset is the way it is because of you, not others.

00:39:46.320 --> 00:39:57.360
And when you get that, once you unlock that, then to your point, I the only way to unlock it is to just move on something.

00:39:57.840 --> 00:40:08.159
You just have to do something, and and and I think that's when when you have moved, that's how you know your mindset has shifted.

00:40:09.119 --> 00:40:15.440
You don't know that you've actually changed your mind until you've moved in some way.

00:40:15.840 --> 00:40:19.760
Listen, the Bible says you'll know a man by his fruits.

00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:20.480
That's right.

00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:20.960
Right.

00:40:21.039 --> 00:40:26.800
It's you you have to nobody's looking at the vine saying, Who, who's who's this?

00:40:27.039 --> 00:40:27.360
Right?

00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:33.119
It's it's what comes out of the vine that identifies what your source is, right?

00:40:33.280 --> 00:40:37.760
And so I think that oh, so many things I could say.

00:40:37.840 --> 00:40:40.559
Because there's so many reasons why we don't move.

00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:41.599
Man, right?

00:40:41.679 --> 00:40:51.119
There's so when we talk about mindset, honestly, I think that we have gotten to a place where mindset has become this very intellectual thing, right?

00:40:51.199 --> 00:40:57.039
Like when we say, Oh, I just need to change my mindset, it's I need more knowledge or I need more understanding.

00:40:57.280 --> 00:40:58.159
Yep, yep, yep.

00:40:58.400 --> 00:41:09.039
And really, your mindset is so connected to your will, and it's so connected to when we go back to motivation and inspiration, this is why they're all connected.

00:41:09.280 --> 00:41:12.800
What are you believing about what you can do?

00:41:13.360 --> 00:41:17.760
What are you believing about what's right and what's wrong?

00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:21.760
What are you believing about what your actual capacity is?

00:41:21.920 --> 00:41:26.880
You know, the reason I didn't want to do a PhD, I was like, I ain't got time for that.

00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:28.320
Right?

00:41:28.480 --> 00:41:31.440
I was like, I got other things to focus on.

00:41:31.599 --> 00:41:34.960
I don't need to be doing a PhD, I'm probably not gonna enjoy it.

00:41:35.119 --> 00:41:37.920
Everybody who does it look like they were miserable.

00:41:38.079 --> 00:41:44.960
Like, and everybody I talked to who had recently finished their PhD, they was like, girl, only go if the Lord called you to it.

00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:50.079
Yeah, you know, like don't be PhDA for everybody, everybody ain't called to it.

00:41:50.159 --> 00:42:01.519
Yeah, and immediately because my mindset, the place where my mind tends to get set and I tend to get stuck, is in the I'm not good enough realm, right?

00:42:01.679 --> 00:42:05.360
Or I don't have enough, or I'm going to fail, right?

00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:08.960
Like uh, I'm thinking uh Inside Out, the second one.

00:42:09.119 --> 00:42:09.599
Uh-huh.

00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:16.880
Um yeah, where she where she was, you know, playing hockey, she was, she was going, you know, she was starting to spiral.

00:42:17.679 --> 00:42:19.039
She was starting to spiral.

00:42:19.199 --> 00:42:35.599
And remember, it was just kind of like they were learning, like, there's this one little, there's a memory that can create like a theme, like a message for your life that is like the repeating echo in your head of this is where you are, this is who you are, right?

00:42:35.760 --> 00:42:42.559
And and it became versus becoming like you know, like a thought that I'm loved.

00:42:42.719 --> 00:42:44.880
Um I think it was I'm a good person.

00:42:45.039 --> 00:42:48.559
I'm a was the one that she they wanted, and it got replaced.

00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:51.679
It got replaced with I'm not good enough.

00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:53.679
I'm not good enough, right?

00:42:53.920 --> 00:43:01.039
And so it is it is so critical for every middle adult person, right?

00:43:01.199 --> 00:43:03.519
Because I think we've just identified this.

00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:05.199
This we know who we're talking to.

00:43:05.920 --> 00:43:10.559
Young adults, if you want to get ahead of the curve, okay, then listen in.

00:43:10.719 --> 00:43:13.199
Maybe you can avoid some of the pitfalls.

00:43:13.360 --> 00:43:13.679
Amen.

00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:16.639
Okay, maybe you can be, maybe y'all can be different.

00:43:16.719 --> 00:43:16.960
Okay.

00:43:17.199 --> 00:43:17.760
I hope so.

00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:22.880
Maybe maybe y'all can grow faster and be stronger, all right, and make better decisions.

00:43:23.039 --> 00:43:24.800
That is that's that's my hope for you.

00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:26.000
That's beautiful.

00:43:26.239 --> 00:43:27.199
That's what I want.

00:43:27.360 --> 00:43:42.880
But you know, when when we're thinking about this middle adult life, you know, there are messages that we have been carrying that have informed how we see ourselves, how we show up in the world.

00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:55.360
And until you identify what the mindset is, not the intellectual thing that you know, but the more intrinsic thing that you have begun to believe.

00:43:55.599 --> 00:43:59.519
Yes, there is a belief that is keeping you stuck.

00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:07.280
And I think the belief for me was there was always a fear that I'm going to fail.

00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:11.360
Like whatever I try, I'm going to fail.

00:44:11.519 --> 00:44:13.760
Like it's it's not going to work.

00:44:13.840 --> 00:44:14.079
Yeah.

00:44:14.320 --> 00:44:17.360
Because there's something in me that doesn't work.

00:44:17.599 --> 00:44:17.920
Right.

00:44:18.000 --> 00:44:32.159
And and for the majority of my life, I just had this this lowered um this lowered uh experience or understanding of myself.

00:44:32.320 --> 00:44:41.519
You know, like you're not that good, you're not that smart, you're not, you know, just feeling like I just wasn't whom other people might have thought I was.

00:44:42.079 --> 00:44:52.400
And so everything I did, I did with the fear of I'm gonna fail, and everybody's gonna realize that I'm not as good as they thought I was.

00:44:53.199 --> 00:45:01.760
And so it produced in me this crippling fear that prevented me from trying new things.

00:45:02.400 --> 00:45:16.400
That prevented me from going after what I thought I should have, or what I thought I should want, or who I thought I could be connected to, or what rooms I thought I could get in, or what degrees and opportunities I thought I could have.

00:45:16.559 --> 00:45:23.599
It prevented me from going after it because again, the crippling fear was you're gonna fail.

00:45:23.760 --> 00:45:24.000
Yeah.

00:45:24.320 --> 00:45:29.440
Because there's something in you that believes that you're a failure before you even try.

00:45:30.239 --> 00:45:47.760
And it wasn't until I got to my middle adult years and that I really started addressing not how I felt about what I do, but how I felt about who I am that I was able to shift and approach life differently.

00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:50.559
Now I approach, I'll be like, hey, I'm that girl.

00:45:50.719 --> 00:45:51.039
Okay.

00:45:51.599 --> 00:45:54.320
I'm that girl for what I know I'm that girl for.

00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:54.719
Yeah.

00:45:55.280 --> 00:45:59.039
I'm not that girl for everything, but I can do anything.

00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:00.000
That's right.

00:46:00.239 --> 00:46:02.639
I can't, and I think that that's such a good statement.

00:46:02.719 --> 00:46:04.239
I think that's a good thing.

00:46:04.559 --> 00:46:06.880
I can't do everything, but I can do anything.

00:46:07.039 --> 00:46:07.440
That's right.

00:46:08.960 --> 00:46:19.679
I might not do it the way that somebody else would do it, but if it's mine to have, and if it's my space to occupy, and if it's my seat at the table, I can sit in that seat.

00:46:20.320 --> 00:46:22.559
I I can I can have that position.

00:46:22.719 --> 00:46:24.320
I can be in that relationship.

00:46:24.480 --> 00:46:27.360
I can I can fraternize with those people, right?

00:46:27.440 --> 00:46:35.519
I I can I can be social in spaces where people have titles and paychecks that are bigger than mine, you know, right?

00:46:35.760 --> 00:46:39.039
Like I can I can be in those rooms.

00:46:39.119 --> 00:46:45.119
And so it went from a mindset of I can't to I can.

00:46:45.360 --> 00:46:50.880
And that shift, um, that shift opened many doors.

00:46:51.119 --> 00:46:51.760
Yes.

00:46:53.679 --> 00:46:54.000
Yeah.

00:46:54.159 --> 00:46:55.920
And I think that's it.

00:46:56.000 --> 00:46:59.840
That's that that is the I like what you said.

00:46:59.920 --> 00:47:04.000
I don't, I don't, I'm not, I don't, I'm not for everything, but I can do anything.

00:47:04.239 --> 00:47:05.760
Like I can do that.

00:47:05.920 --> 00:47:09.440
Like, and that that is the mindset, and it's amazing.

00:47:09.599 --> 00:47:14.880
It doesn't have to be much, but that mindset shift, and like you said, it changed things.

00:47:14.960 --> 00:47:19.039
Like it when you're when your mind changes, you do move.

00:47:19.280 --> 00:47:23.280
Because you can't you can't have a changed mind and stay where you are.

00:47:23.440 --> 00:47:27.119
Yeah, like you won't be able to to to handle that.

00:47:27.199 --> 00:47:29.840
Like it's like, yo, I I I no no no no.

00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:30.559
This is different.

00:47:30.639 --> 00:47:35.280
Like, I can't, I have to do different because I truly do believe something different now.

00:47:35.440 --> 00:47:47.360
And so that this is where movement can begin to happen, is after you become inspired and motivated and your mindset shifts, which y'all, let's be clear, can take years to to happen.

00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:52.800
That can take that that that half of the process can take years.

00:47:53.119 --> 00:47:56.559
So it is really don't don't beat yourself up.

00:47:56.719 --> 00:47:57.760
Give yourself grace.

00:47:57.840 --> 00:48:07.199
If you if there are areas in your life where you aren't seeing momentum, the where where you're probably stuck is in that first half.

00:48:07.519 --> 00:48:07.679
Yeah.

00:48:07.840 --> 00:48:10.480
And ask yourself, where am I there?

00:48:10.639 --> 00:48:14.159
Because you're you're probably progressing and you're getting there, but you're not there yet.

00:48:14.239 --> 00:48:14.960
And that's okay.

00:48:15.199 --> 00:48:24.079
It can take years, like Queda said, it has taken us years to get to this space, and we're we're still working through it.

00:48:24.320 --> 00:48:31.599
Um but those are really difficult things to change because it took years to build it up.

00:48:31.760 --> 00:48:39.519
And you weren't building this, you weren't building up a mindset of um of unbelief on purpose, right?

00:48:40.480 --> 00:48:43.440
That was that's that's just the product of life.

00:48:43.760 --> 00:48:51.920
So now you're trying to build up a uh a new belief system on purpose, that's where this unlearning concept has to come in.

00:48:52.159 --> 00:48:55.519
It takes time to undo something you didn't even really do.

00:48:56.000 --> 00:48:56.320
Yeah.

00:48:56.559 --> 00:48:58.719
And so you have to get there.

00:48:58.880 --> 00:49:09.760
But once you get there, once that mindset has shifted, this this next part personally, this is why I think my this is where I get in my bag.

00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:11.599
I I am pretty good.

00:49:12.800 --> 00:49:16.960
Once your mindset has changed, let's go.

00:49:17.199 --> 00:49:18.639
Like we can go.

00:49:19.360 --> 00:49:20.079
We can go.

00:49:21.199 --> 00:49:23.440
There is a process that works.

00:49:23.760 --> 00:49:26.639
Um I think I've shared this before.

00:49:26.719 --> 00:49:27.840
I I'm I'm a builder.

00:49:27.920 --> 00:49:29.119
I like to start things from scratch.

00:49:29.280 --> 00:49:30.400
Some people that freaks them out.

00:49:30.480 --> 00:49:31.519
It does not freak me out.

00:49:32.000 --> 00:49:33.039
It makes me excited.

00:49:33.199 --> 00:49:35.440
I wanna I wanna be at the beginning of a thing.

00:49:35.599 --> 00:49:49.519
Um, and so one of the things that I have learned is that it stops one the biggest thing, one of the biggest things that trips people up, even if you have a changed mindset, okay, cool.

00:49:49.679 --> 00:49:51.039
Now it's time to move.

00:49:51.679 --> 00:49:56.159
What what trips people up is moving without a plan.

00:49:56.960 --> 00:50:05.599
I when I when I talk to people who are ready to do something and are excited about doing it, okay, what's your first move?

00:50:06.159 --> 00:50:15.760
Well, I was thinking this, but I have to do this, and I really need to really need to learn how to do that first, and then I need to talk about this, and then I'm not really sure what I'm gonna do after that.

00:50:15.840 --> 00:50:21.199
And now you have all these questions on movement when I say, What are you going to do first?

00:50:21.679 --> 00:50:24.320
I didn't ask you for the whole plan because guess what?

00:50:24.400 --> 00:50:25.360
You don't know the whole plan.

00:50:25.840 --> 00:50:27.920
You won't know the whole plan until you start moving.

00:50:28.239 --> 00:50:32.000
And what scares people is moving without a plan.

00:50:32.400 --> 00:50:36.719
You've got to make a you've got to take a step before you know the next one.

00:50:37.760 --> 00:50:40.960
So that's how you build something.

00:50:41.360 --> 00:50:57.440
You you don't build something, um you you you have to take the step before if you're if you're really trying to gain momentum, I won't I won't say build, if you're trying to gain momentum, you've got to take a step before you know what the next step is.

00:50:57.679 --> 00:50:58.320
Yeah.

00:50:58.719 --> 00:51:06.239
Otherwise, you will stay, you will be frustrated that you are mentally ready to change, but physically nothing has happened.

00:51:06.559 --> 00:51:13.119
And that's that's that attention you want to live in for too long, because then I think discouragement comes into play.

00:51:13.280 --> 00:51:16.960
And and and you don't want to be discouraged because of a lack of movement.

00:51:17.599 --> 00:51:19.280
You've done the hardest part.

00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:21.119
You've done the hardest part.

00:51:21.199 --> 00:51:23.199
The hardest part is changing this up here.

00:51:23.840 --> 00:51:29.039
Now we gotta we gotta get past the fear of the unknown.

00:51:29.280 --> 00:51:29.679
Yeah.

00:51:29.840 --> 00:51:32.800
All right, so now what are we gonna do?

00:51:33.199 --> 00:51:41.920
All right, so Quita, like you were saying, you wanna be a motivational speaker and or and an author, right?

00:51:42.639 --> 00:51:43.280
Cool.

00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:46.960
Once you have, this is just an example.

00:51:47.199 --> 00:51:54.159
Once you have moved from through inspiration, motivation, and mindset, and you're like, I'm ready to do this.

00:51:54.480 --> 00:51:55.039
Cool.

00:51:56.000 --> 00:51:58.960
And now it's like, okay, Queda, what are we gonna do?

00:51:59.599 --> 00:52:03.599
I well, I gotta set my price list, okay?

00:52:03.679 --> 00:52:14.400
I gotta find a publisher, I gotta give a little website, I have to figure out what am I gonna write about, what am I speak about, what is all this stuff, all these questions that you're trying to answer before you move.

00:52:15.360 --> 00:52:17.599
No, what are you gonna do first?

00:52:18.800 --> 00:52:24.480
And for me, this is me, and Queda love to hear how how you usually handle this.

00:52:24.880 --> 00:52:33.119
When I've gotten to the point where I'm ready to move, a lot of times the first thing I do is I tell somebody what I'm about to do.

00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:35.920
For me, that holds me accountable.

00:52:36.000 --> 00:52:39.039
And I don't just tell anybody, I tell somebody who's gonna make sure I'm gonna do it.

00:52:39.599 --> 00:52:48.000
And and I don't just I I tell you, I definitely tell you, but I will tell people who it's who it's going to affect.

00:52:48.639 --> 00:52:57.760
So it's like if somebody asks me, um, hey, I I really I need your help with uh with thinking through this problem.

00:52:57.920 --> 00:53:02.079
Okay, here's I'm I'm creating and I'm creating like a system to do that.

00:53:02.639 --> 00:53:05.840
Well, okay, I'm going to do this, you're gonna hear from me in two weeks.

00:53:06.000 --> 00:53:07.280
It has to affect you.

00:53:07.679 --> 00:53:15.119
So I'll just tell my friends or my mentors, I'm gonna tell people who would actually be helped by what it is I'm trying to do.

00:53:15.280 --> 00:53:21.360
Because that puts me accountable to say I gotta do something towards that thing, right?

00:53:21.519 --> 00:53:29.199
So when we were doing this podcast, we still when I started when we started the podcast, right, back in 2023 before Quit and Joy got involved.

00:53:29.679 --> 00:53:38.079
I when I got to that point where my mindset has shifted, it took a minute, it took about a year for me to really believe that this was possible.

00:53:39.119 --> 00:53:44.960
And I the people I told the one of the first people I told was the first guest on my show.

00:53:45.119 --> 00:53:46.559
I said, I want you to be the first guest.

00:53:46.719 --> 00:53:50.800
As soon as I said that, there was an expectation that they were gonna be a guest on it.

00:53:52.000 --> 00:53:54.000
So now I gotta do something.

00:53:54.480 --> 00:53:57.760
I'd have said, I'd have told these people I want them to be my first guest.

00:53:59.280 --> 00:54:16.639
That that is it tricks, it's a it's a hack for people who find themselves um procrastinating or overthinking or uh or or just um kind of paralyzed and because I don't really know the unknown kind of freaks me out.

00:54:16.800 --> 00:54:18.000
That's a hack.

00:54:18.400 --> 00:54:22.800
Tell the person who it's going to affect, make that your first move.

00:54:23.039 --> 00:54:26.000
Wow, yeah and it it will trigger the other things.

00:54:26.239 --> 00:54:26.880
Yeah.

00:54:27.760 --> 00:54:35.360
Uh, you know, I I was I I keep going back to this uh this track metaphor that we began earlier.

00:54:35.599 --> 00:54:39.119
As you guys know here recently, we love a metaphor.

00:54:39.280 --> 00:54:41.280
Um and we will drag it out.

00:54:41.679 --> 00:54:44.239
Well, we will please bear with me as I do that.

00:54:44.480 --> 00:54:57.760
Um, but you know, when the difference, one of the differences between sprinting and cross-country running is that when you are sprinting, when they train, they stay on the track, right?

00:54:57.920 --> 00:55:05.599
Like, and so it is a very, you know, reliable, you know, predictable path, right?

00:55:05.760 --> 00:55:18.559
I'm gonna stay on this track, I'm gonna start at this point, I'm gonna end at this point, and that is how I'm gonna know that I did my 100 meters or my you know, 400-yard dash or whatever they're doing.

00:55:18.719 --> 00:55:21.679
Meters and yards are not the same thing, but you you y'all get what I'm saying.

00:55:21.840 --> 00:55:22.239
We got it.

00:55:22.480 --> 00:55:29.599
But people who run long distance oftentimes train by running on different terrain, yeah.

00:55:29.840 --> 00:55:30.079
Right.

00:55:30.320 --> 00:55:37.519
And they go out into an outside territory and they pick their way through the woods, usually.

00:55:37.599 --> 00:55:39.440
Like I'm like, where y'all going?

00:55:39.519 --> 00:55:47.760
You know, yeah, but and and and it's you you may not, it's not a track where you can see your way around it, right?

00:55:48.000 --> 00:55:51.840
Like when you run on a track, you can see the starting point and the end.

00:55:52.400 --> 00:55:53.199
Come on, Jaquita.

00:55:53.360 --> 00:55:55.440
You can see what's this metaphor, Jaquita?

00:55:55.920 --> 00:55:57.519
Work this metaphor.

00:55:57.760 --> 00:56:03.280
Yes, you know, you you can see exactly where you're going, you know that terrain.

00:56:03.440 --> 00:56:09.039
And in our young adult years, we got a lot of we got a lot of quick victories that way.

00:56:09.519 --> 00:56:09.760
Right?

00:56:09.920 --> 00:56:16.000
We got a lot of quick victories because it was if I do A, B, and C, I'm gonna be successful.

00:56:16.159 --> 00:56:20.559
I'm gonna get from start to finish because I can see my way there.

00:56:20.719 --> 00:56:21.519
Yeah, right.

00:56:22.000 --> 00:56:38.559
Where we are now, as we are building things and trailblazing things and building strategy for organizations and building families and building, you know, uh uh future ventures and legacy, right?

00:56:38.719 --> 00:56:40.880
We're building legacy now, right?

00:56:41.039 --> 00:56:51.840
Like this is the legacy that, you know, one day your great-grandchildren are gonna be like, well, you know, great-grandmama Ruth, you know, she started this, this, this, and you know, right?

00:56:52.559 --> 00:56:55.679
You're picking your way through the woods, right?

00:56:55.760 --> 00:56:58.880
You're starting something and you don't know how it's gonna end.

00:56:59.039 --> 00:57:08.719
Yeah, you don't know where the end point is, you don't know how you're gonna finish, you know, but you know that as long as you endure, you will get to the end.

00:57:08.880 --> 00:57:17.360
And so NASCAR it's it's not depending on your ability, it's dependent on your endurance, right?

00:57:17.519 --> 00:57:22.480
It's not dependent on your intellect or your gift set or your this or your that.

00:57:22.719 --> 00:57:31.280
It is he who endures to the end, he who finishes the race, run your race with patience, but finish it, right?

00:57:31.360 --> 00:57:36.320
And so there is this focus on you don't know what's on the path.

00:57:36.559 --> 00:57:40.639
You know, when when you're on a track, you know there's nothing on that track.

00:57:40.880 --> 00:57:43.119
You know, you know you're not gonna get tripped up.

00:57:43.199 --> 00:57:45.840
You know, you know nobody's gonna like do anything.

00:57:46.000 --> 00:57:48.639
There's rules and regulations to the track.

00:57:48.800 --> 00:57:59.119
When you're running through the woods, when you're running through terrain where they haven't established a way of being in that place, nobody makes rules in the woods.

00:57:59.280 --> 00:58:03.920
Yeah, nobody, nobody says a branch can't fall and get in your way.

00:58:04.159 --> 00:58:06.480
It may have that branch wasn't there yesterday.

00:58:06.559 --> 00:58:07.760
Why is it here today?

00:58:08.079 --> 00:58:08.400
Right?

00:58:08.719 --> 00:58:10.559
It rained and now the ground is wet.

00:58:10.719 --> 00:58:11.519
What is this code?

00:58:11.840 --> 00:58:12.239
That's good.

00:58:12.400 --> 00:58:14.559
Right now it's a mudslide, right?

00:58:14.719 --> 00:58:16.159
Where it used to be dry ground.

00:58:16.320 --> 00:58:17.920
I wasn't expecting to get dirty today.

00:58:18.079 --> 00:58:20.000
I wasn't expecting to get dirty today.

00:58:20.159 --> 00:58:39.440
And so as we are running at the at this new level where the air is different, where the the impacts on our body is different, because you know, I I watched as Joy trained to run her half marathons, you know, because she's now done multiple.

00:58:39.760 --> 00:58:41.039
Okay, we we love producer.

00:58:41.519 --> 00:58:42.800
We're very, we're very proud of it.

00:58:43.039 --> 00:58:43.920
We're very proud.

00:58:44.079 --> 00:58:44.960
Very, very proud.

00:58:45.119 --> 00:59:01.440
But you know, Joy would, you know, one day she would run five miles, then she would run six, then she would run seven, eight, and nine, you know, and then she would taper off, and then she's running, and she's you know, like there is a system to learn how to train your body to be able to endure that race.

00:59:01.599 --> 00:59:02.079
That's right.

00:59:02.239 --> 00:59:07.039
And I don't want anybody to see the process that they're in as wasted time.

00:59:07.360 --> 00:59:17.840
You've been training, you've been at the five-mile mark, and you learned how to do five miles, and then you were at the six-mile mark, and you learned how to breathe through and push through another mile.

00:59:17.920 --> 00:59:24.639
Then you had to add another mile, and you had to learn something else, and you had to become something more in order to get to this point.

00:59:24.800 --> 00:59:37.360
And now we are finally at the part where we can get in the race and show God and show our communities and show our families that I'm built for this, I'm prepared for this.

00:59:37.679 --> 00:59:42.800
I may not know what the terrain is gonna hold, but I know how to finish.

00:59:42.960 --> 00:59:43.840
That's good.

00:59:44.159 --> 00:59:45.599
I know how to finish.

00:59:45.840 --> 00:59:55.920
And so when you when you're thinking through the expectations of yourself and you're thinking through, okay, this is, you know, like this whole idea of pushing yourself, right?

00:59:56.079 --> 00:59:58.079
And holding yourself accountable.

00:59:58.239 --> 01:00:12.000
You need people in your life who not only hold you accountable for finishing to finish, but also celebrate you through the process because they believe that much in you finishing, right?

01:00:12.159 --> 01:00:17.039
I don't celebrate you at mile one because I knew you were gonna you were good at running one mile.

01:00:17.119 --> 01:00:17.360
Yeah.

01:00:17.519 --> 01:00:20.880
I celebrate you at mile one because I know you're gonna get the mile five.

01:00:21.519 --> 01:00:24.639
I celebrate you at mile five because I know you're gonna get the mile nine.

01:00:24.719 --> 01:00:28.159
I celebrate you at mile nine because I know you're gonna finish.

01:00:28.400 --> 01:00:39.599
And um, I just think that we are at a point, just in human history, honestly, it is easy to look at the world right now and become very discouraged, you know.

01:00:40.079 --> 01:00:45.760
I ain't gonna name nothing, but everybody knows going oh okay, right.

01:00:45.840 --> 01:00:59.760
It is it is very easy to really believe that that things could could bring an end, but I have to remain in faith and in hope that God is a finisher.

01:00:59.920 --> 01:01:03.119
That's right, and that he will finish what he began.

01:01:03.280 --> 01:01:03.679
That's right.

01:01:03.840 --> 01:01:19.440
That he will finish the good work that he started in me and in us, and that there is still a good work that is working on our behalf, that all things are still gonna work together for the good of them that love God and are the called according to his purpose.

01:01:19.599 --> 01:01:22.079
And so you have to believe in the finish.

01:01:22.239 --> 01:01:30.880
And I think that's where the mindset shift has to start is that I because I'm a I ain't gonna lie, my personality type, I love to begin a thing.

01:01:31.039 --> 01:01:34.719
Okay, I love to start a thing, it's beautiful, right?

01:01:34.960 --> 01:01:42.239
But the power of creating systems that last past you is in is learning how to finish.

01:01:42.960 --> 01:01:51.920
And with that, finishing, and I think this is again, this is the this is the uh what's the word I'm looking for?

01:01:52.000 --> 01:01:56.880
This is the next level that where we where momentum comes into play.

01:01:57.679 --> 01:02:05.119
Is I think you said it with your with the with the marathon with the long distance analogy.

01:02:05.280 --> 01:02:06.239
I I I love this.

01:02:06.320 --> 01:02:07.840
This is y'all go back and listen.

01:02:07.920 --> 01:02:08.320
That was good.

01:02:08.400 --> 01:02:08.719
That was good.

01:02:08.800 --> 01:02:10.719
You did your you did your good stuff on it.

01:02:10.960 --> 01:02:17.280
Um once you've done it one time, you know you can do it again.

01:02:17.679 --> 01:02:27.760
Now you don't necessarily know what's coming because you you cannot say that, but if you finished one, you know you can finish another one.

01:02:28.800 --> 01:02:30.320
That is momentum.

01:02:30.800 --> 01:02:31.199
Wow.

01:02:31.519 --> 01:02:32.480
That's momentum.

01:02:32.719 --> 01:02:36.639
So like I it's a predictable path to success.

01:02:36.960 --> 01:02:41.599
So like I am aware, like I got I so so what okay, let me back up.

01:02:41.920 --> 01:02:47.360
So when you start to move, do the thing that's gonna get you on the path.

01:02:47.679 --> 01:02:48.880
Start running.

01:02:49.440 --> 01:02:50.960
Start, just start.

01:02:51.119 --> 01:02:52.480
The gun has gone off.

01:02:52.719 --> 01:02:56.639
Don't sit there and try to figure out your way through them woods, just start running.

01:02:56.880 --> 01:03:00.239
There's no way that you're gonna know what's coming ahead of you.

01:03:00.480 --> 01:03:04.400
You're gonna you might fall and slip and get dirty, and all that's that's real.

01:03:04.480 --> 01:03:06.239
That's just that's called the journey.

01:03:06.400 --> 01:03:07.440
It is what it is.

01:03:09.039 --> 01:03:17.679
Once you do that, you will on your way begin to see things you didn't see before because you it's within your sight.

01:03:17.920 --> 01:03:20.000
Okay, this stick tripped me up.

01:03:20.079 --> 01:03:21.760
I see another stick, I'm going left.

01:03:22.079 --> 01:03:22.880
All right, cool.

01:03:23.039 --> 01:03:25.920
Um, I I see this puddle over on my right.

01:03:26.320 --> 01:03:27.840
I I just got wet back here.

01:03:27.920 --> 01:03:28.960
I'm not trying to get wet again.

01:03:29.039 --> 01:03:31.119
I'm gonna let me go around the puddle.

01:03:31.280 --> 01:03:35.360
You start to recognize things and patterns as you move.

01:03:35.840 --> 01:03:40.320
Too many of us get stuck by trying to figure all that out before we move at all.

01:03:40.719 --> 01:03:43.679
And a lot of times we get it wrong because you don't know what's coming.

01:03:43.840 --> 01:03:45.360
So you want to start moving.

01:03:45.519 --> 01:03:54.719
Once you have done the movement and you've worked through the movement and you've gotten to whatever your finish is, you go back and you create a method.

01:03:56.079 --> 01:03:58.800
Now, this is what I know to do.

01:03:59.760 --> 01:04:03.519
I got a method to the marathon, I know how to do it.

01:04:04.239 --> 01:04:10.960
Again, it doesn't mean everything will be the same, but I recognize what is needed to get to the finish line.

01:04:11.440 --> 01:04:13.920
And I and then I repeat the method.

01:04:14.400 --> 01:04:22.480
When you can repeat the method, which is which is your predictable path to success, momentum.

01:04:23.119 --> 01:04:27.199
Yeah, now I can move because I've gone through all these steps.

01:04:28.559 --> 01:04:33.440
I've changed my mindset, I've been inspired, I've motivated, I changed my mindset.

01:04:33.519 --> 01:04:41.519
I started to move, and then I look back after I've gone through the slug of getting there and and said, How did I do that?

01:04:41.920 --> 01:04:44.159
What was the what was the pathway?

01:04:44.480 --> 01:04:46.079
Yeah, here's the pathway.

01:04:46.480 --> 01:04:47.519
I can repeat it.

01:04:47.920 --> 01:04:50.000
If you can't repeat it, you have no method.

01:04:50.400 --> 01:04:53.519
But you can't you can't repeat something you don't finish.

01:04:53.840 --> 01:05:02.880
So you got so now you have a methodology and that's when you can I can repeat the process over and over and over and over.

01:05:03.039 --> 01:05:05.119
And I could do that in this section now.

01:05:05.440 --> 01:05:09.119
This is this this you gotta take this in each thing, right?

01:05:09.199 --> 01:05:13.519
So this just because you do it in one area of your life doesn't mean it automatically happens in another.

01:05:13.840 --> 01:05:38.480
But you understand the process, and I think that's when momentum happens and the snowball gets faster and faster because you begin the process again with confidence, and you're not you're you're you're not um you're not you're not as cautious the second time as you were the first time because you kind of know what to expect.

01:05:39.280 --> 01:05:39.599
Right.

01:05:39.760 --> 01:05:41.360
And so I'm willing to take more risk.

01:05:41.440 --> 01:05:43.199
I'm willing to go a little bit faster here.

01:05:43.280 --> 01:05:49.119
Um, I'm willing to, you know, I'm I'm I'm I'm you know, I know who to trust, I know who not to trust.

01:05:49.360 --> 01:05:57.039
Like this is I know that kind of those kind of answers, those kind of questions get answered your first time.

01:05:57.840 --> 01:05:59.840
And then when you okay, let me press read.

01:06:00.159 --> 01:06:00.400
Repeat.

01:06:00.639 --> 01:06:02.079
How does this need to work now?

01:06:02.559 --> 01:06:05.119
Um, now I can say, okay, cool, let's do it.

01:06:05.199 --> 01:06:09.360
And then by the time you get to your third time, your fourth time, it's like, okay, all right, cool.

01:06:09.519 --> 01:06:10.639
Like, I know how to do this.

01:06:10.880 --> 01:06:26.159
Again, it doesn't mean it's gonna be easy, it doesn't mean everything will work out exactly the way it did before, but you approach it differently because there's a confidence you have, and so the momentum that you're looking for will show up faster, but you've got to get through those first those steps first.

01:06:26.480 --> 01:06:36.000
Um and I think that's that is your that is your key to actually being having momentum in these areas of your life.

01:06:36.239 --> 01:06:43.199
You've got to start from the you gotta work those first three, which could take a long time inspiration, motivation, and mindset.

01:06:43.760 --> 01:06:56.559
Then you just start moving and then track your movement, process it, and push repeat and then teach it to somebody else.

01:06:57.119 --> 01:07:14.639
I I was just about to say, like, you know, as a PhD student, I was like, man, this is when you said methodology, I was like, absolutely, you know, like methodology theory, you are building, you are building, this is how we create knowledge.

01:07:15.360 --> 01:07:27.039
Like, this is how we add to the database of what it means to be successful, of what it means to create and to build and to and to strengthen infrastructures.

01:07:27.280 --> 01:07:40.159
This is how we create, when we allow ourselves to change and to go through our processes, we also empower systems to change and other people to have access to what we've learned.

01:07:40.320 --> 01:07:57.039
Um, and it takes that as a leader, it takes you going through the unknown territory in order to be able to show your team, to show your organization, to show your family, to show your churches, to show whatever it is that you're tied to the way.

01:07:57.199 --> 01:07:57.840
That's it.

01:07:58.079 --> 01:07:58.400
Right?

01:07:58.559 --> 01:08:10.559
Like um, I had an instructor um whom I love dearly, who gave us um these little uh magnetic pins, and they say the obstacle is the way.

01:08:11.199 --> 01:08:11.519
Right?

01:08:11.599 --> 01:08:24.079
Like it is like the way forward, the way to the next opportunity, the way that you're um the way to your next blessing, to your next promotion, to your next good thing.

01:08:24.319 --> 01:08:33.840
It is often we are the things that we are trying to avoid are the things that were actually sent to get us to where we're asking God to let us go.

01:08:34.000 --> 01:08:34.479
For sure.

01:08:34.720 --> 01:08:40.000
And we keep trying to run around it when really you have to run through it.

01:08:40.159 --> 01:08:40.640
That's right.

01:08:40.800 --> 01:08:54.560
Um, because the benefits that you get by going through the obstacles will far outweigh the pain, the struggle, the stress, everything that you experience.

01:08:55.119 --> 01:08:59.199
And I think so many times we get stuck in experience.

01:08:59.600 --> 01:09:21.760
We get stuck in this sucks, this makes me angry, this makes me sad, this makes me tired, this makes me uh feel a certain way about myself or feel a certain way about people, but going through that thing is what produces in you the necessary piece to the puzzle that gets you to your next level.

01:09:21.920 --> 01:09:22.239
That's right.

01:09:22.399 --> 01:09:29.439
And that's right, you getting to your next level is empowering someone behind you to also get to theirs.

01:09:30.560 --> 01:09:31.920
You gotta, that's it.

01:09:32.079 --> 01:09:33.279
I mean, that's it.

01:09:33.520 --> 01:09:36.159
And anyway, I think that's and that's true momentum.

01:09:36.239 --> 01:09:40.239
When you can multiply that thing outside of yourself, that's good.

01:09:40.479 --> 01:09:41.119
That's it.

01:09:41.359 --> 01:09:42.319
That's what you want to do.

01:09:42.560 --> 01:09:43.359
You gotta multiply.

01:09:43.439 --> 01:09:44.239
That's the next M.

01:09:44.399 --> 01:09:45.760
That's that's hey man.

01:09:45.840 --> 01:09:46.720
Look at look at God.

01:09:46.960 --> 01:09:47.520
Look at God.

01:09:47.600 --> 01:09:47.920
That's right.

01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:48.640
No, that's true.

01:09:48.880 --> 01:09:49.920
You gotta multiply it.

01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:53.920
And uh, and so I think that's it.

01:09:54.399 --> 01:09:54.800
That's good.

01:09:54.960 --> 01:09:55.840
Is that where we're done?

01:09:55.920 --> 01:09:56.800
I think we're done.

01:09:57.119 --> 01:09:58.239
Joy hates it when we do it.

01:10:01.039 --> 01:10:01.920
Um I think that's it.

01:10:02.079 --> 01:10:03.119
Like that's it.

01:10:03.600 --> 01:10:04.319
I think we're done.

01:10:04.640 --> 01:10:06.079
But I think this is really powerful.

01:10:06.239 --> 01:10:12.880
Listen, if you two thought this was powerful, if you found, listen, the nuggets be dropping.

01:10:12.960 --> 01:10:18.399
They do, and I'm not saying it's because we're so good, I'm saying it's because we serve somebody that's that good.

01:10:18.479 --> 01:10:19.359
Hallelujah.

01:10:19.520 --> 01:10:19.760
Right.

01:10:19.840 --> 01:10:30.880
The nuggets be dropping, and if you want to be a part of this community, which I think everyone should because we are just really excited about just learning and growing together.

01:10:31.039 --> 01:10:32.399
So come do it with us.

01:10:32.640 --> 01:10:35.279
Like, share, subscribe, comment.

01:10:35.439 --> 01:10:37.119
We want to talk with you guys.

01:10:37.279 --> 01:10:46.960
Listen, I went to a birthday party um this past weekend, and somebody stopped me because they saw an interview that we did and absolutely loved it.

01:10:47.279 --> 01:10:48.000
I love it.

01:10:48.159 --> 01:10:54.800
If you watch the podcast, you see me out and about, pull me to the side, let's chit-chat about it.

01:10:54.880 --> 01:10:58.479
You know, we love talking about it, we love talking with you guys, and that's why we do it.

01:10:58.640 --> 01:11:02.079
So like, share, subscribe, comment, engage.

01:11:02.319 --> 01:11:03.840
Engage, engage.

01:11:04.239 --> 01:11:09.119
Guys, uh, thanks for listening, and we'll see you next week.

01:11:09.439 --> 01:11:15.279
Until then, let's keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom.

01:11:15.760 --> 01:11:16.239
Peace.

01:11:16.560 --> 01:11:17.520
See y'all.

01:11:21.920 --> 01:11:25.039
Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast.

01:11:25.119 --> 01:11:29.279
We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode.

01:11:29.520 --> 01:11:35.920
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think.

01:11:36.079 --> 01:11:42.399
We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.

01:11:42.640 --> 01:11:43.600
See you then.