Generational Legacy Builders: Turning preparation into purpose

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_04 0:05

What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the Unlearned Podcast. This is your girl, Jaquita, and we are here again for another episode of the second act. This is the place where we reflect on where we've been so we can rewrite where we're going. Okay, listen, friends. I got on the podcast with me today, my dog. Okay, this is a really, really close friend, guys. I have been honored to know her. Oh my goodness, what has it been? Like 14 years? Yes. We ain't got to count. We ain't got to tell the people all the years, but she is an absolutely amazing superstar of a businesswoman educator. Matter of fact, let me just read this official bio real quick so you can get to know her. Everyone, meet Alanda Posey, founder of Soul for Beginnings LLC and children's book author. Alanda prides herself on being able to engage families and empower their children to confidently reach their personal and academic goals. She's an author, and she chose her daughter Naomi to be the premier character in her very first book, Naomi Visits Letter City. Additionally, Alanda created the Soulful Alphabet series to highlight each letter of the alphabet with topics about black culture. And to date, my girl has written nine of those alphabet books, self-published, including A is for Afro, C is for comedian, D is for Dashiki, F is for fade. G is for gospel. H is for hip hop. K is for kinship. M is for moonwalk. And U is for Urban. She also recently wrote the Power Series with the first release, You Have the Power to Be. And when she's not writing, and when she's not tutoring, and when she's not out in these entrepreneurship streets, she is running day-to-day as an assistant principal at an elementary school. Beyond the school day, she provides academic tutoring services to children's aged ages 4 through 12 through her company's soulful beginnings. And on top of all of that, because see, we gotta talk about all this. I gotta lay this foundation. She is also the wife of my brother Javen Posey. And to this beautiful union are three beautiful daughters, right? Posey, Alanda. Posey, you know, people in elementary school, they go by last name. Posey lives by the motto. We may begin small, but we finish strong. Y'all need my girl, Alanda. Say hello to the people, Alanda.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Hello, everyone.

A High Achiever From The Start

SPEAKER_01 2:40

I mean, on the She gave y'all the school boys. On the Alerts Podcast. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_04 2:49

You know, I used to be at events, and I, you know, you don't tell people when you go into like a networking thing or when you go into a you know conference type thing, and I'll be there and I'd look across the room and be like, oh, Alanda's here. Alanda's out here making things happen. And since I have known Alanda, you have been that girl making things happen. Agree? I agree with you. Okay, braggle yourself a little bit, girl. Don't need listen, this is the second act, honey. We came to hear about you. Child, Alanda is definitely that girl. And I'm interested to know: were you the same, you know, this uh sense of accomplishment, the sense of achievement, the sense of building things from the ground up? Was that with you in youth? What was young Alanda like? Tell me about her.

SPEAKER_02 3:40

Young Alanda is no different than adult Alanda. Um, so anything, I've tried multiple things, multiple, multiple things. Had my mom running to and fro across the upstate. So anything that you can think of almost, I've been a part of it from basketball to t ball to um uh being a part of the honor societies in middle school. I mean, I've took multiple trips in middle school, uh, National Honor Society in high school, junior RLTC in high school, also um senior class president in high school, and uh uh the drum major for our marching band at you never told me that.

SPEAKER_04 4:31

You ain't never tell me about no drum major as much as I talk about band. You have never mentioned that you were also the drum major.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Oh yes, oh yes. Junior and senior year, I was afforded the opportunity to be the drum major of the band, and it was absolutely phenomenal.

SPEAKER_04 4:49

And you were the drumming at Southside. At Southside. My God, today I know y'all had a time.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Oh, we did.

SPEAKER_04 4:56

Southside? You know, that might be Southside, is is one of my like top three high schools in Greenville County. Like, I rocks with Southside.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Concur.

SPEAKER_04 5:06

I concur. A lot, a lot of cool people from Southside.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

I'll always rock uh and and be a tiger at heart. That's the only tiger I'm gonna represent.

SPEAKER_04 5:14

Go Clemson. Okay, go tigers, y'all heard it. All right, you know, she went to USC, you know, I go to Clemson's. We we put aside these differences, you know, uh to make sure that we can worship together and and continue to be, you know, women of God in the same space. You know, we don't have to let those differences separate us. Okay, so I so wait a minute. First of all, Landa, that was a long list, okay. And I feel like if you actually sat down and thought about it a little more, you'd be like, dang, I forgot to say I did that too. Right. Like you one of them people, like, yeah, you know, I just anything somebody asked you to be on, you were on, right?

SPEAKER_02 5:51

So, yeah, like um, and even even thinking about foundationally in the church, uh, children's choir, Sunday school, but also um with my grandfather being um kind of reputable in this in the city and in the state here, just going from conferences and being a part of different uh reformations within the Baptist convention.

SPEAKER_04 6:16

Oh, reformations?

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Um, so yeah, uh I come from a family that are builders. And so my grandmother's brothers uh built our home, helped to build our home church. And a lot of the things that you see around the Southside community uh were built by them. And so for me, it is just carrying that legacy of building, of being a builder. And so uh I may not and I do not know how to build a house, right? But I am helping uh families be able to become fortified families and to be able to engage with one another and build leadership capacity within their families so that you know the future is bright uh later on.

SPEAKER_04 7:05

Okay. You said a word that is really sticking with me. You said the word carry, carrying legacy, right? So you got building and you have carrying, right? Was there a time with young Alanda where things that you were carrying felt heavier than what you could really process or really maintain in that moment?

SPEAKER_02 7:31

Um Young Alanda was so driven that um I don't think everything came to a head until I got to college. And so when I got to college and I could kind of see how all of these entities play a role. Um by that time, um one of my grandmothers had already passed. The other one was very, very sickly, and and there was a transition that happened while I was in college. And so um this thought of carrying that is like uh I still have to represent who they were to me on both sides, my maternal grandmother and my paternal grand grandmother. Um, just thinking about who they were. I told someone the other day, I said, um, it's a different type of luxury that I came from. And so I I'm not gonna say that we were uh a rich people, but they were rich in various uh aspects of their life that I was able to observe. And so I I carry those things with me so that I can continue that particular legacy and attempt to pass it on just through conversation with my own children.

SPEAKER_04 8:52

Okay, so I love that. So when you talk to me more about because I think when I was young, young que, you know what I'm saying, young que out here in these streets, I was not thinking at all about legacy. Like I was thinking, I was thinking that I was kind of one of one, that I had a good foundation, but everything I felt like I was doing, I felt like I was doing something new. Okay. But it sounds like you were building upon foundation that other people had already kind of given you. What levels of pressure came with that?

SPEAKER_02 9:34

There is definitely a standard in you to be a part to raise to that standard, like raise, um, meet those expectations. And so there was extreme pressure. There's high pressure in that. And I don't think I uh actually came to understand what that pressure was until I had my own children. The the high pressure that is um associated with meeting a standard requires you to constantly be in reflection of what are you doing in this moment? How are you representing the people that you love? You know, I I dare not want anyone to um see me in a negative light because I have these people who I'm standing on their shoulders or even um, you know, face to face with them in this moment. And so I have to always kind of be on guard, so to speak, so that what I present to others, not that it's a a fake presentation, right? This is generally who I have been cultivated to be. And so this is what the standard is, and this is what we have to live up to. My great aunts and great uncles, every uh family event was okay, so what college are you going to? Like we were eight, nine, and ten, and it's like, okay, so what college are you going to? Where what are you thinking about? What it what what do you want to be? It wasn't about what do you want to be when you grow up. It's like, what college are you going to? And so that was the standard. There's no other thought that could come across your mind other than what college are you going to? And as an as an adult, I wish that more of the conversation went around the entrepreneurial journey that our forefathers um endeavored, because that journey coupled with what could be taught at the collegiate level uh could have helped us surpass some things. Like there are some things that we may not have had to stumble over if we knew how to be flexible

The Pressure Of Carrying Legacy

SPEAKER_02 11:50

in both ways.

SPEAKER_04 11:52

Okay, because see, okay, I I love the way that you are framing entrepreneurship, right? Like that entrepreneurship is is a is a pathway to expansion. It's a pathway to more, right? And so when was the first moment in your life where you realize you wanted to build something that you hadn't seen yet?

SPEAKER_02 12:18

Okay. So um what most people know about the Davis family here in Greenville is that they own a um a daycare. So it's called Davis Daycare. And if you're on this side of Greenville, on the south side of Greenville, most people have come through that particular daycare. And so uh if I talked about my collegiate journey, I would tell you that I went to college knowing that I was gonna be on ESPN, I was gonna be a sports broadcaster, you couldn't tell me any different until I got there, and some things weren't really adding up to what I wanted to experience, but I also never wanted to be a teacher. And so this idea of me even coming into this space was like pure rebellion. Like I just did not want to be what everybody else in my family had already been. But um, experiencing an after-school program where a third grader could not read is what shifted my trajectory. And so then I'm like, okay, well, how can I help others in this space? And so I switched my major to early childhood, and then one of the ultimate goals was to own the family daycare. And that didn't necessarily happen, but my first year teaching said that I had to do something more for the people that looked like me. And so when I had students at five who didn't know their first name, didn't know their last name, couldn't tell you uh the letters of the alphabet, you know, those simple foundational skills that are are precursors for success, I said, okay, so what can I create? And so that's how Soulful Beginnings was birthed.

SPEAKER_04 14:00

Okay, what year was Soulful Beginnings birthed?

SPEAKER_02 14:04

2010. So this is uh sweet 16 for me, actually.

SPEAKER_04 14:09

Oh, sweet 16. I love that. So 16 years ago, my God, today, y'all, 2010 was 16 years ago. Wait a minute, when did you graduate college? Uh 2009. Yeah, okay. I was about to say, I'm putting the numbers together because I graduated, I think we're around the same age. I graduated in 09 too. So you graduate, y'all think about this. Everybody take your mind back. You graduated college and then you started a tutoring business.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

I did. First year teacher. Um, needed some supplemental income as well. Uh, I just imagine a first-year teacher uh with a one-year-old and an $1,800 check for one month. So each month was an $1,800 check, and I'm trying to figure out okay, how can I support this child myself and uh make all of these things happen? So that is another um push, if you will, towards why this other entity was created.

SPEAKER_04 15:16

Wow. Wow. Because a picture is beginning to form here. Okay. A picture is beginning to form. So I I wanna I wanna take us back before we before we go further, right? Because you mentioned this idea of purpose, right? And I think when I I I've worked in higher ed now for about 15 years. And I think one of the questions young adults are always asking is how do I find my purpose? How do I figure out what it is that I'm called to do, what I'm supposed to do, right? And a lot of us started on journeys going in very opposite directions of where we now as middle adults, we're not middle-aged, we're middle adults. Okay, people get it right. Thank you. Um, right, right, but now as middle adults, we can look back and say, okay, yeah, you know, my journey, it opened up right here, and then I followed this path, and then God opened the door, and and and we discovered little pieces of ourselves. But I like I think it's so interesting that you took one experience, right, and shifted your entire life based off of that experience, right? Have you found since then in that moment when you you said that there was what, third graders who couldn't read? Right, since that moment, have you had other purpose moments that kind of spurned spurred you to build new things? Like have they have there been more catalysts that pushed you forward?

SPEAKER_02 17:00

That is uh a wonderful question. And um if I were to kind of analyze that particular question and think about what else were what we would call key drivers in this work, um, I would say the the first one would be my own children. Um, because because if I'm working with the public and I'm working with other people's children, there's no way that my children can't be or are not um meeting the mark. And so that adds, you know, another pressure, if you will, to say, okay, well, you're helping these children, but what about what about your own children and and how are they um advancing and matriculating through uh school? So that would be one piece. And then with every child that I met, and and honestly, it's been a beautiful experience to meet complete strangers and have their parents trust me to help move them forward in whatever capacity that is. Um, each new family that I meet then encourages me to create something different, whether that be multiplication and division flashcards or this particular workbook, or even just creating a space for that parent and helping them to advocate properly for their children, um each new family that I encounter, then I add a different

Purpose Shift Toward Literacy Work

SPEAKER_02 18:30

tool to my toolbox.

SPEAKER_04 18:33

I wanna I wanna go I wanna I wanna go a level deeper, if that's okay. Yes. Because I think what you have presented to not just here and not, but just in general to the world is a superstar, right? Like there is, I was, I was, I I was I'm a I'm a metaphor kind of person. And when I was thinking, I was like, you know, Alanda is probably like the wheels on a car, right? As long as there's no brakes, she'll keep going. Like, yes, right, as as as long as nobody presses the brakes, she's gonna keep pushing forward, right? Because you have a very futuristic, forward-moving mentality, right? And I think that that you become the person that people rely on for movement, right? My child is stuck, the school is stuck, you know, the community is stuck. Somewhere along the line, you are finding people at a stuck place, and you are not only building momentum for yourself, you're creating movement and momentum for other people, right? I'm wondering in the moments that you pause, what has Alanda, how has Alanda grown in how Alanda feels about Alanda through the years?

SPEAKER_02 20:06

Um so first I will say that that is a thought that comes to mind quite often. Always being the solution or a solution for someone else, and then also thinking about okay, well, who is the solution for me? Right? Where do I where do I go to get the refilling? Where do I go so that I can continue to press forward? Because you're right, there is no stopping me. And I'm not saying that in um, I'm not saying that in an arrogant way, right? Yeah, there's so much to be done because the need is so heavy for people who look like me. And so I don't stop because as if however many I can carry across the finish line, then that's more of a reason to keep to keep pushing. So uh for me, um when I think about how do I recharge in that moment, it is absolutely complete solitude. And so it it um it becomes problematic in some spaces because for some people they would view me as a withdrawn person or antisocial or uh whatever whatever word you want to f put in there, but it's really me drawing back because the social battery of carrying others or always thinking about someone else and not necessarily putting Alanda first um becomes a drain, right? And so um, in order to continue to help other people, then I have to retreat. And I have to find a space where there is no one talking to me, there's no one asking anything, and I can just med, I can just meditate on what is the next thing, right? What's so funny about this is I was thinking about this actual process this morning. And um I I wake up at approximately 4 45 every morning. The the alarm goes off and and we I I wrestle with my alarm clock, but it is that moment, whether it's 30 minutes, 40 minutes, where nobody's asking me for anything, where I can either lay in silence or let the water run, and downloads are still coming, but no one's asking me for anything. I can completely be raw in my emotions and my feelings, speak whatever it is that I need to get out and uh and for me to get it out so that I can receive more to help somebody else do a thing. And so I'm I I thought about that this morning. I'm like, okay, this this is sacred time for me. This is a precious time for me. And then it's the drive to the to my location, um, which is about 30 to 40 minutes, where it's it's complete silence. I don't ride with anything on just so that I can process what the day is, how the day is going to go and what things, how do I need to be present in the day for the people who need me? So that's how I process my day.

SPEAKER_04 23:35

So it's it's really interesting. I was smiling so hard because I was like, I feel like there is

Solitude As A Recharge Strategy

SPEAKER_04 23:40

like an army of introverts watching this right now who were like, yes, absolutely, right? And it's I I am uh semi the opposite. I am uh an obvious extrovert. Okay, you know, I don't think that that's hidden to anyone. I don't think anybody was wondering, you know. I don't think anybody was, you know, like, oh, really? Jaquina, an extrovert? Really? I I think everyone knows. Um, but I I think that I'm in a season right now, Alanda. And I I've been talking to God about this because, you know, I got I turned the big one this year. Okay. You know, I I turned 40. You know, when we hit December, all right, we're we're rolling into a new decade, right? And I've been reflecting on the 30s, and and as I've been reflecting, I'm like, Lord, you've done so much. Like, I honestly could not have asked for God to have done anything differently. I could ask, but I uh I got have a lot of understanding about why things are the way they are. And I and I look back and I just see blessings. I see blessings, I see where God turns some things around. You know, I look at my salary at the beginning of the 30s and now, and I'm like, thank you, Lord. Okay, because I I was out there in them struggle streets. Okay. Um, when I came out of grad school, I don't know what was happening, but the economy was like, we're not paying people with masters. What do masters mean? Don't care where you got it from. What a what's what's a master's? But I I I also came to the conclusion as I get ready to walk into my second act. Amen. Let's let's get into it. Right, yes. As I get ready to walk into the second act of the 40s, okay. And we have multiple second acts throughout our lives, folks. Okay, don't don't don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. But as I get ready to walk in, I I've been talking with myself and I'm like, what's what's the area that I want to be different? Right? Like, because I realize I look back at my 30s and I'm like, again, I have not narrow complaint. I don't have anything that I'm like, Lord, this wasn't right. I wish da-da-da. I don't have any complaints. But when I look back at me, I realize that I'm at a growth point because there were so many areas of my life. You know, the Lord talked to me this year about receiving love and not just giving it. Because I am a person that I'm always trying to think of ways to love other people, right? And I don't want to stop. I don't want to, I don't want to not be that person, but I also want to be in a position where I can receive love from all of the areas of life that God has positioned me to receive it in. And when you are a giver, friend, I want to make sure you knew this was directed to you. When you are a giver, right, in whatever area of your life you are most accustomed to pouring out in, right? It is, it takes, it is a different skill set. It is a different switch, it is a different mode to then become a receiver. What areas that you give in have you had to learn or are currently learning? We ain't got listen. We're all in a process. What areas are have you what areas are you having to take the lid off? Not so that you can pour, but so that you can be poured back into. Because I understand as an

Learning To Ask For Help

SPEAKER_04 27:20

introvert as well that that looks different than me. Right. But I want to hear about it.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

Okay. Um, so if I had to be completely honest and pull the layers off of this question, it would be asking and receiving help. And so um it's such a complicated thing for a person who has pretty much and and family can attest, been pretty independent my entire life. Um I have I have set my own trajectory. And so with with guidance from the Holy Spirit and God just thinking about things in a very calculated way helps me to get to whatever the next is. But it takes a lot of uh analysis to get to that place. And so when it when it happens, not everything is unexpected, it is expected because you know I've kind of planned this thing out, so to speak. But along the way, when things become difficult or you're hitting a roadblock, because of different things that have occurred, even this idea of there's an entity that I'm seeking guidance from, right, is somewhat difficult to receive the instruction, the direction, even the support in that way. You it's just the faith thought that this thing is gonna happen because he said it's gonna happen, right? But um asking for support along the way is very hard for me. And and anyone who truly knows me at this point, everyone's gonna know. But anyone who truly knows me knows that that is difficult. And and my expectation of help is what I gave to you. So when I gave it, I gave it in a way that I wanted to receive it. And so sometimes that's why I choose not to ask, because I'm not gonna continue to ask you multiple times, right? And so there is a hard line around independence that I've got to work through because when you ask for help and you don't get it in the way that you think you should, then resentment sets in, disappointment sets in, and and whatever meant, right, whatever state or condition that you want to put there also resides. And so then you have to deal with that piece internally too and say, okay, well, I I've got to look in the mirror as well and say, why am I putting those expectations on that particular person?

SPEAKER_03 30:26

Right.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

And and what about me could I do differently to not put myself in a in a space where I need that support from someone else? So those are things that are somewhat um internal battles when you see the this version of Alanda, um, it's like, okay, well, how did you get here? Well, I I'll be honest with you. Uh a lot of it was my it was me doing things on my own, right? Uh, it may have been of some assistance if we're talking about connecting with an illustrator or connecting with a school or or that sort of thing, but thinking through the process of it all is me trying to get to a place and how can I get there. So if I had to to uh think about myself internally, I would say that thinking through support and assistance is is a weight that uh I'm working through.

SPEAKER_04 31:26

Oh, but it's such a one, it's a place where so many of us find ourselves in. Right. I think when we when you sit down and because middle adults, we we are all wearied, okay. Middle adults is tired, you know, and I think we all collectively say that, right? Like, because we're we're right in the we're in the thick of it. You know, we're not at the we don't have that beginning of the journey in energy or that, you know, that late, you know, reflective, oh, it's all gonna work out, it's all gonna be okay. No, we in the thick of it. We in the we're right in the middle of it, right? But I think exactly what you just said, when people talk about being tired, we don't always identify the point that's wearing us out. Right? We we don't always know what to point to, right? And so, you know, we we're starting nap ministries and you know, we out there taking naps in our cars and in our offices because we're tired, and we out here saying, guys, I'm gonna be off of my phone for the next three weeks. Okay. Or we're saying, okay, I'm just gonna delete my Facebook page because y'all wearing me out, right? Like we're we're all trying to figure out where's the button? What's the button that I turn off that gives me my energy back, that gives me my peace back, that gives me my joy back. But I think what you've given is a formula for finding the right button, right? It is the point where you feel like you have given and poured and poured and poured, and it is not, it's not necessarily what you receive that's wearing you out. It's what you expect.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 33:18

It's what you expect, and it is the weariness, you know. I think the Bible says hope deferred makes the heart sick. Right. It is the weariness of I keep hoping and hoping and hoping that somebody will do this, somebody will give this, somebody will become this, somebody will step in right here. It is the weariness of expectations, of unmet expectations. Correct. And I think you have allowed us because here's the thing: we don't actually get to change what other people do. Correct. Right. The Lord did not give us that ability, you know. What a wild world it would have been if we had been able to just be like, uh, right, I'm gonna press pause on you real quick, and we're gonna reset you and get you together so you can come and do what I want you to do, right? What a wild world it would be. What a wild world it would be if the Lord could really do that to us. Right. But that only comes, it can happen, but it only comes through submission, right? Like when I am in such a close relationship with you that I allow you to change me and you allow me to change you, right? In our relationship with the Lord, it only true change only comes through submission. It's when we allow God to change us. And so I I just really wanted to point that out because what you gave wasn't a struggle story. It was actually a, it was a it was a an um equation. It was it was a formula. It was a hey, here's you gotta identify the point that is wearing you out.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 34:57

And and somewhere along the line, we have we have had an expectation for so long. And I'm I'm wondering, because this sounds like a current wrestling, right? This sounds like a current, like I'm still figuring the thing out, you know what I'm saying? You know, some days I got it, some days I don't, you know. I, you know, it sounds like I just came to a new understanding about people. Okay, so people really are different, right? And y'all really do different things and give different results. Uh, my friend Ashley, her new favorite saying right now is results may vary. Okay. And with yes, and with people, you know, listen, results may vary. Okay. Um, but in your current wrestling, how are you finding? I want to ask you two things. One, how are you finding peace even in the midst of having to work through getting your needs met, right? Because these are needs. Like what you're what you're naming is not a want. Because honestly, some of it is you probably let it get to a point of desperate need, right? You probably worked and worked and told and told and told until you couldn't work and told no more. And now it's a, hey, I desperately need y'all. Show up, right? How are you finding peace and recognizing that it's a process, right? How are you finding peace? And also, how are you finding more of a lambda in those moments?

SPEAKER_02 36:38

So I I think though that question can be coupled together. And and what I'll say uh without having the ability to think long about this, because that's all right, you're doing great. That would be a question that I would really want to ponder, right? Um, is that in terms of the uh of seeking peace or finding peace in the moment of it or in the thick of the thing, is that I honestly have to rely on my heavenly father for that. And I and I had to come to understand that another person can't necessarily be your peace, right? And so we we we talk about this, especially in in marriages, right? Oh, be his peace or be her peace. Like, well, that person's not gonna necessarily be that for you, right? They're they're just they're just not. Um, because they're we all have our own icks, and so there are things that um can kind of get in the way of total peace in this relationship, in any relationship. And so if I can lean and rely on him, then I don't have to lean and rely so much on somebody else's behavior to determine how peace resides within me. And so that's why I would say those two um though that those two questions uh kind of can be coupled together in that space. And if I had to think about it in terms of a Landa, I would say that I'm I'm not sure if I'm all the way there yet because the motor runs so much that I would have to, and this may sound crazy, but I would have to schedule time for me just to to to uh shut down everything and just be at peace, right? Because the need is so heavy, um, the ask is always coming. And so to to recharge Alanda, there are ways that I do that, and I I go to myself. Um if you uh and I and you all are firm and grad, so uh our firm and professor, he would say you gotta go to your lonely.

SPEAKER_04 39:01

Alanda, you two are a firm and grad.

SPEAKER_02 39:03

That's what I say. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 39:04

Us. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, okay. We are she don't she don't lean into that paladin as much as I want her to sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 39:13

Our professor would say, you gotta go to your lonely place. And in that lonely place is where you can ask those questions that no one else can answer. And that is question, those are those internal questions about you too, right? It's not all about what somebody else is doing for you or against you or those things, but how can you do a self-analysis and figure out how can I get better at this thing? How can how can I improve what is actually hindering me from being greater than I was yesterday? So it's really more so um kind of humbling yourself, right? Because everything can't be about what somebody did to you, right? It's how do you respond when the thing happens, and then what it in what way do you respond will give you that peace, will give you that serenity, will give you that understanding so that um things aren't as complicated or as heavy for you as you uh transition through.

SPEAKER_04 40:19

I love all of that. That's good stuff. See, listen, she's doing a great job, friends. Alanda, Alanda wishes she was in her lonely place right now, okay? But she has she has decided to gift us all with all of this wisdom that's been sitting down on the inside of her. Okay, and I'm grateful. I'm super grateful. So, Alanda, on the second act, we like to talk about. Um, I think we've we've we've done a good job traversing through your first act, right? But then there's a moment where you get to an intermission, right? And you get to a moment where it's you and God, um, and you've mentioned like the retreating, the coming to a place, right? You get to a moment where sometimes that engine does have to stop. And it sounds like yours need to stop a little on a scheduled basis, right? You you need to schedule, you need to schedule a pit stop, okay? You need to schedule it, honey, right? But can you tell me about a time where God made a significant marker in your life that was where he really just needed to talk to you before you moved into the next season, before you moved into the next thing, you had a backstage experience with God to really push forward into

Backstage Moments That Recalibrate Life

SPEAKER_04 41:40

your into your second act.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

Yes. Um, when in thinking about this, and and I love the um the analogy of being backstage, because honestly speaking, if I could have it my way, that's where I would stay. I would stay in the backstage space. Um, but in in leadership and in motherhood and in wifehood, you can't really stay in the backstage. And so you have to come to the main stage and uh follow those set directions that you may not want to, right? And so um the first thing that I would say about uh uh an intermission or a time where I had to uh really recalibrate my thinking would be uh from being a mother of one for five years and then becoming a mother of two and three within 11 months.

SPEAKER_04 42:44

My goodness.

SPEAKER_02 42:44

So the story's pretty wild, and we won't get into that, but um becoming a mother of one uh as a college student uh was definitely an intermission. And then becoming a wife and a mother within uh 10 or 10 or 11 months was another time period where things had to kind of slow down a little bit. Um, and that's this is three years after Soul for Beginnings is created. Um, I'm a wife, and at the same time, I'm an academic specialist, um, a kindergarten teacher, and I'm also a JV basketball coach at my alma mater. And so um family is like, hey, you've got to make some choices here. And I'm like, I don't want to make a choice. I don't want to. Uh these were things that I was doing before you got here. Like, you know, these so you don't tip, you know. Uh so that was a moment where I had to make a choice. And so I put the whistle down, and so for beginnings kind of became my engine. And so because they were still young, I could still do this thing that I found joy in, um, all the while still trying to rebuild this version of Alanda that is now a mother of three and a wife. And so sitting in that and understanding that, honestly speaking, there is no other way. There is no other lane. There is no real support for that mom who comes into it, whether you're married or not, because you're now thinking about four people other than yourself. And so that was my first moment of like, hey, you got to get your life together here and really center down a little bit. And um it's not more so about you and my oldest child. Uh, it is now four people that you're thinking for and you're making decisions for and you're living for, right? Because they're they they need your support. So that would be intermission number one. Um, and so then from that standpoint, we're talking, let's fast forward six years later. And now I've graduated from Furman, right? Firmin. Go dance. And I am now a certified school administrator here in South Carolina. And so, what's the next step? Naturally, you're trying to find a job in leadership. And so that journey through um, I would, I would almost say it's like the undressing of all the things. Like you are completely vulnerable, you're completely naked in a sense, because now you're peeling back these layers that you've hidden in whatever role that you're in, because now you're stepping into leadership. And leadership requires you to examine yourself and see, okay, what areas are not going to be beneficial for the group that I'm leading? And he he took me through there, right? And so it's me looking in this mirror and saying, okay, well, you can't be reserved in this area. You can't not speak in this area, you can't not speak up in this area. Um, there are some things where you're gonna have to be quiet in this area. You can't speak your mind in this space. And so um, on this journey of cultivating into a leader was probably the most difficult uh intermission that I've I've faced outside of graduating from Ferman. Um I think that experience in and of itself uh has us to look at ourselves and say, um this space right here, this whole this whole entity, this this this clay that I've been gifted with, um, it comes with these feelings and these emotions. And I've got to put that in check in order to uh be able to have conversations and lead people to to the next um step in the journey.

SPEAKER_04 47:11

Girl. I think that that is so key because I don't think, and I I think I honestly think that they're both really similar processes, similar, similar transitions, right? It's the it's the transition of moving from one to many, right? Like when you were in a more kind of um um constricted space or or a smaller space as a teacher or as you said a literacy specialist.

SPEAKER_02 47:44

Uh I became one. So that was one of the pieces of the journey, yes.

SPEAKER_04 47:48

I think I don't think there's anything I could name that you haven't done. But anyways, um, that's not a point I'm making right now. But I I think that it it it becomes, you know, I'm responsible for the small group or for the small thing or this one thing, and I really have figured out how to do it on this level. Yeah. Right? Like I have figured out how to raise the one, right? I got I got my whole little system together, you know what I'm saying? I got I got her going right. All right. I got I and I can I can be married and do this too. Okay, I got I got that going right. I got my I got my basketball team, you know, they hanging in there, you know. I got the school, I got the tutoring, right? And and you are a high capacity person, right? And so I think one of the biggest affronts to a high capacity person is to tell them that they no longer have capacity for all the things. What you mean? I'm built for this, right? But you can be built for something, right, and it not be suitable for the moment that you're in.

SPEAKER_03 48:51

Correct. Right?

SPEAKER_04 48:52

Yes, you are built to do 10 million things, but that's not suitable for the moment that you're in, because in order to lead the many, you're gonna have to actually be more focused. You know, you would think that you would be able to extend yourself out, but no, in order to lead the many, you have to, you have to let go of some other things so that you can be more intent on because leading many requires more

New Systems For Bigger Assignments

SPEAKER_04 49:20

processes, more. Um, I recently, when I say recently, it's been about a year and a half now. Year and a half ago, I bought a new house, right? And I had bought a house before, and she was a cute, loved my first house. Okay, she was cute. Okay, and anybody who ever came to a Shindig know what I'm talking about. Okay, that house was cute, and she was easy to clean. You know what I'm saying? If I said I wanted to have the people over, I could give me two hours. I'm gonna get this house spick and spin. Okay. I moved into a bigger home that has more levels, more corners, more crevices, more, more, more intentionality. And the first thing I learned when I got here was I need new organization systems. Right? I it used to be I could be in the bathroom and I just had my stuff, you know. I had small bathrooms at the at the other house. And I had learned how to work that thing. You know what I'm saying? I was like, ain't gonna bother me. I got this. When I got to the bigger house that had the bathroom with the two sinks and all the drawers, I realized in order for me to maintain the space, I actually have to have more organization in the big space than I did in the smaller space. Right? I also have a bigger closet. I have more clothes now. I don't know why I keep buying clothes. I talked to the Lord last night. I said, something is wrong, Jesus. Something wrong, Lord, because I need to stop buying these clothes. Okay. I need I need to stop doing this because there's no way when I got in this closet, I said, Yes, Lord, I see the future. You've given me this bigger closet because one side's gonna be for me and the other side's gonna be for my husband when he gets here. I understand, Lord. I know what you did. The closet full. Both sides. Both sides of the closet are full. If that man comes, I'm gonna be like, get your own closet. No, I'm I listen, I'm gonna have to start doing that whole winter, you know, spring thing. Hold on, let me put my let me put my winter clothes up and bring the spring clothes down and you know, I'm gonna have to figure it out. Okay, but I'm saying, like, as you transition out of your intermission moments, like those are the moments that God is preparing you for. You're gonna have to have a new system. You're gonna have to have a new structure because what you were doing when it was the when it was the few, when it was the small, it ain't gonna work with the many.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

Correct.

SPEAKER_04 51:50

Right. It's not gonna work in the bigger space. It's not it's not gonna work in the more, you got more square footage coming. And and it's your job to fill it. It's your job to make it work.

SPEAKER_02 52:03

Indeed. Indeed. So and speaking to that adds another layer of analysis, right? And so you know something new is coming, right? Because he's not gonna ask you to renew your mind daily if something new is not coming. And so that's what I think about. I I mean, so many people say, and I know there needs to be a pause, I know there needs to be a stop, I get all of that, but we also um are connected to a progressive God. And so there it doesn't mean that I should live in stagnation either, right? And so I've got to be prepared, and this actually came in a meeting that I got out of today. I've got to be prepared for what's next. The the statement said, be ready for the next opening. And that's exactly what it said. It said, you know, the the posting is going to come, right? And are you ready for the next posting? It doesn't mean that you have to make a jump right now, but are you ready when it comes? And so my God, today uh my mind is constantly going, right? And I don't, I and I'm not gonna stop that process because once the next thing comes, I wanna be a line, I wanna be in alignment to that next thing. And so that the transition is somewhat easy. We know it's not gonna be, you know, completely smooth, but it doesn't have to be filled with rocks and boulders either, right? I have to be in a place where I can say yes to the next without it being so troublesome.

SPEAKER_04 53:47

Hold on, Amanda, hold on, girl, wait a minute. You have to be, first of all, okay, wait, because I don't want to lose it. There was something else that you said. Say it again. I don't know what I my God, that's how it is when the Lord is flowing, we be missing stuff. My God. Right, but but uh you don't, if you don't, if you don't organize what's in your hands and figure out what needs to be put down, you won't have capacity to receive the next. Right. That's point number one. The other point that you made that I I I want to make sure sticks with the audience is that he wouldn't ask you to renew your mind daily if there wasn't something new coming. And I don't think that we I don't think that we live our lives all the time believing that tomorrow could introduce something that will completely reshape your entire existence.

SPEAKER_02 54:52

You're only you're only one decision away. You're only one yes away, and or you're only one no away. That that one no um that you that you thought was rejection was maybe the thing that was actually the footstool for the next thing that he has coming for you. So you you still have to be ready for what's coming, right? And so um, yeah, I just I just do my best to just to stay ready.

SPEAKER_04 55:18

But I love that because it reframes the intermission not as a punitive point where it's oh man, I ain't do something right, or the Lord doesn't think I'm ready, or he doesn't believe, you know, that I'm good enough. And so now I gotta go spend, you know, a year backstage, you know, because I gotta, you know, I gotta I gotta get myself together. You know, we use that term a lot, you know, like I gotta I gotta get myself together. I gotta figure, you know, I gotta figure some stuff out. It's not a punitive moment, right? It's a it's a development moment. It is a hey, let's say your mind.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

Let's let's say character development there, right? Yeah. There's a piece of you that still needs to be developed, or there's a piece of you that you've got to unlearn, right? And so you've got to figure out what that thing is so that you can get back to the to the to the main stage.

SPEAKER_04 56:14

Well, it's also right, there's a piece of you that's being developed. There's also something developing in the story that it your your trajectory is gonna meet what God has been developing at the perfect moment.

SPEAKER_01 56:29

Yes, it will.

SPEAKER_04 56:30

Right. And I think that we get in our minds, I'm behind, I'm late because I did this or I did that. You know, now God gotta hold up what he had for me. And the Lord is like, as long as you stay with me, I'm gonna have these things meet at the perfect time, right? Like it's developing. There's something developing for you, and you don't have to look at your development as a punishment. Right. It is a, it is a it is a preparation for a thing that's being prepared. It is, it is, it is two things that God is trying to meet together in the perfect

Staying Ready For What’s Next

SPEAKER_04 57:10

time and season. Um what things are you working on right now that you know have been doors open because you submitted to a process before, and that you know that this is something God has been preparing for me.

SPEAKER_02 57:31

Well, if I can be completely honest, um there's not a thing that I'm currently working on right now. What I am doing is trying to revise who I am for whatever is next to come. And I and I don't know what that next is. I know that there are two avenues that could possibly uh happen. And so whatever he designs for me to do, I've already laid that at his feet. It's not uh a worry, it's not a concern. It is whenever you're ready, I'm ready to take it on. And I have done that mental work to say um it it's okay, it's okay to have a little bit of fear, but what I do know is that when the next comes, it's going to be another rebuilding process. And not so much uh me focusing on me, but I know that you know you've come to a place and there is a climax, and you're like, okay, I got there, I I met the goal, I met the target. And so in that place, then you get comfortable and then you get complacent. And so it's like, wait a minute, hold up. There's a there is something else out there. You haven't reached your full capacity. Um, there's more in store for you. And so uh when it comes, it's also still kind of a uh journey back down the mountain. So you you're kind of starting at ground zero again. And so then you've got to kind of work your way back up to another climax. And so as long as you understand that each target is going to bring you back down to zero before you get to that hundred percent, then you can uh stabilize your mind so that you're not so uh frantic or discombobulated thinking that um I'm not hearing what he told me, or um I'm in I'm headed in the wrong direction, or did I make the right decision? You're not second guessing yourself. You're just understanding, okay, there's another level that I have to build within myself, and each piece is going to bring me up, up, up, up till I get to that target space.

SPEAKER_04 59:59

I think out of everything that we have talked about today, I think that that what you just said has been the biggest indication of your growth and your development and your submission to God's, not just his uh uh sovereignty or his role in your life, but it is a submission that God, who I am, I trust you to be the greater.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:28

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:29

Because if I had to use a word to describe you, right, and not that I use these podcasts to really, you know, describe and define people, but I kind of do because it's kind of who I am. I would say the architect, right? Like somebody who's always planning, always constructing, always building, can lay lay it out for everyone exactly what things should look like, and exactly, and an architect is always building what's next, right? They're always they're always thinking about what nobody else sees yet, and what nobody else has envisioned yet. But I think one of the greatest points of growth that an architect can say is, I haven't seen it yet. I'm waiting to receive it. Versus, I'm gonna go and make something happen, I'm gonna make something shake, I'm just gonna put pencil to the paper and I'm gonna draw it out. And I because the truth of the matter is that you could have another project, you could have something new, right? There's something that Alanda could do, right? But you have submitted yourself, you have submitted your time, you have submitted your gifts, you have submitted um um your capacity to God to say, okay, Lord, this time I'm gonna wait. This time I'm gonna receive instead of just pouring out and giving out and giving out. This time I'm gonna leave myself open and I'm gonna allow you to be the architect and I'm gonna follow your lead. That's good. And I wanna let you know that that is a very exciting place to be in, because when you see the difference between what you built and what God is gonna build, it's gonna blow your mind. When you're when you're living in it, and when you're actually, when you look around and say, wait a minute, how did all this get here? Well, no, no, no, no. This is what God was doing when I was in solitude and silence and just receiving. I think there is nothing, there is no better gift for a giver to get than to be able to see the fruit of receiving. Like you, the Lord is not going to allow you to not experience the fruit of his of his ability. Right. He's not, he's not gonna allow you to not see it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:02

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:03

Because too many people have seen what you do. Right. Too many people have have lived in what you built and what you planned, right? And so he's not gonna allow you to not see what what he's gonna do in exchange for that. Girl, I'm excited.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:22

This is about to be good. That is good. I I would label myself a visionary, and so um with that comes these big ideas and these big thoughts, and um then then sometimes I kind of get it, kind of get lost in that in terms of the execution of things. But to to dream a thing and then to actually see it come into fruition is kind of what you just spoke to me. And so um I'm I'm waiting on the next thing to to to take off.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:57

I'm waiting on your next thing too, girl. All right, all right, guys. Listen, Alanda, is there anything else

How To Connect And Final Charge

SPEAKER_04 1:04:05

that you want to give the people? First, how can the people find you on the social medias? How can they get connected with the things you do? Where can they go to buy all of these uh 6,000 books that you've written as well?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:19

So uh the best place, uh first place to stop would be Facebook. Uh you can do a land of posy um or soulful beginnings LLC. Uh the same is true for Instagram, Soulful Beginnings LLC, and Twitter is SoulBAcademy. Uh, those will be the places where you can kind of find me. And I'm also on LinkedIn. Um, Posey. So um uh right now there's not a place where you can actually land to purchase. But if you're interested, uh feel free to reach out via email, uh soulfulbeginnings llc at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:59

Perfect. Perfect. Give give uh you you you an educator, give people one last thought that if there is somebody right now who is has been the person that is giving, that is building, that is the visionary, that is the constructive person, that is in a place where they have come to the end of themselves. And it it's time for them to make a different move. Speak to that person.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:33

So that person who you you're at a crossroads uh in your life and you're trying to figure out which way do I turn, uh, where should I go next. Um, I think you need first to realign with your purpose and what God created you to do. And so that will always lead you into a path for what you need to be doing next. It will always align you to the people that you should be connected to, um, as well as the things that He has created your hands to create and build. And so those pieces will help you uh on this journey as you seek to figure out what the next space is. And in that, the biggest thing that you can do is to remain humble, right? You you've got to to center yourself and stay stable-minded so that you can continue to receive the downloads and the downpour that he has for you, um, and that you don't get too full of yourself uh because you are attracting that next thing that you want if you choose to remain humble.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:46

Oh, okay. I like that. I like that. Okay, come on. Well, let's attract the next thing that is coming. Okay, Alanda, thank you so much for coming on here. Y'all, it took us a while to get these schedules aligned and to get my girl on here, but I knew whenever there's that much resistance, I knew it was gonna be good. And my friend did not disappoint. Okay, so thank you so much. That was first of all, that's gonna help me in my journey. I got three months to go until 40. And uh, and I'm I'm I'm about to go, I'm about to go find me some solitude, okay? The extrovert is about to find some solitude. That's what she's about to say. Um but I so appreciate you for being on here, posy and sharing your story, sharing your journey. And I want to let each of you know that you do not have to stay stuck in intermission. Okay, friends, it is time, it is the season, it is the appointed moment in your life for you to raise the curtain and enter into your second act, friends. We're gonna see y'all on the next one.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:58

Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast. We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode. Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think. We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom. See you then.