Summer Movie Series: Coming To America

Welcome And Summer Movie Series

SPEAKER_04 0:03

Hello, everybody, and welcome once again to the Unlearnt Podcast. I am your host with Daniel Gill, aka R A.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

What's up, friends? It's your girl, Jaquita.

SPEAKER_04 0:12

Yo, and this is the podcast where we are helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that you can experience more freedom. Freedom. Yes, Lord. I I um I I was chuckling a little bit doing the intro for this particular episode because this episode we're gonna have a little bit more fun than. I mean, we're gonna unlearn some stuff, but but some of this, I mean, honestly, like we we, you know, we're we're so for those of you that don't know, we're in our summer movie series. And so we're we're picking movies that um that we really like, you know, we love and connected to and we've seen that we can unlearn things from, uh, pull out really, you know, important themes, like leadership themes, life themes, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Like, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:04

And uh this particular movie, we we have discovered, we watched it recently for the first time in a minute, you know, to get prepared. And we're like, dang, like, I don't know how much learning we're gonna do from this one. Listen, okay, it's a great movie, but it's classic. It's it's one of my favorites.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

And there, it's not that there aren't so many themes and things to to pull out from it, but it's like while you're watching it, you are just not, you're just being highly entertained. That's correct. Yes, and you're like, boy, this movie funny. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:41

I I found myself where I was cracking up out of so many things. Like, I'm just I was just enjoying the movie. Like, I was like, oh yeah, we do have to talk about some stuff. Um, but when you go back, it's like, huh, what did I unlearn from this? Um did I unlearn substance is really here, you know? Like listen, listen.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

And we're talking about a highly loved, highly beloved, all right. Uh uh, one of Eddie Murphy's greatest. Honestly. I really feel like this is like his Hallmark. This might be in the black community for sure. This might be in the black, we're talking about Prince of King, all right. We're talking about coming to America. Coming to America. Listen, I I actually really do love this movie, okay? It is, it is a cult classic. Okay, I think it is. I remember one time in my class because I was having this argument uh with a friend about if this movie or another movie was better. And so one time I asked my class, which was a very diverse class, if you will, and I said, hey guys, what which guy, which movie do you guys think is better, Coming to America or Love and Basketball? Right. And I was surprised at how many of my students, because I didn't even think, first of all, there when you have a 20-age year age, 20-year age gap between you and the population you're talking to, you don't really trust them. Because one time I had a student say, somebody was like, Man, I love Lauren Hill. And another student said, Who is that? If I don't know her, she must be trash, and it really ruined my day. That's that's personally No, you should have you should have ruined his day. Because And well, I think we all, everyone else in the class took care of it. So, you know, I didn't really have to go in because you know that is the highest levels of display. Listen, pre-Gospel only Jaquita, okay, was all over some Lauren Hill, okay? But anywho, they had all seen Coming to America and all loved it. We're all like, this movie is a classic. And I'm looking around the classroom, I'm like, who told y'all about our movie? Who told y'all? But you know, it it's it's so beloved. There's so it's one of those movies where there's 10 million lines. Yeah, there are 10 million million lines that you get from that movie. It's ridiculous. When Randy Jackson gets up there talking about sexual chalks, sexual chocks, ridiculous. Oh my god. Okay, and as I was watching it, I was like, I don't know what I'm about to say on this episode. But listen, okay, there's plenty. There's plenty.

SPEAKER_04 4:30

There is, like, there really, there really are. So, so first of all, if you've never seen it, y'all, you just listen. Just go, just rent it. So I don't know where else you get it from. We have to buy, we have to buy it from Amazon Prime. It's only like four dollars. Go go get it. It's worth it. And that's for you to buy it, okay? So you can't rent it. You just buy it. Yeah, you need it. Just buy it. And and get get you, have you a night with you, you and your person, whoever that is, not your kids. Not Ruth trying to set you up for a date night.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

No, I'm just saying, like get you in your boot, you know what I'm saying? Get some popcorn.

SPEAKER_04 5:10

Yeah. You know, you know, you know, leave the kids in the other room, because this ain't for them.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Um, and you know, as we've been doing this movie series, I realized there were a lot of movies I was not supposed to be watching at the age that I was watching.

SPEAKER_04 5:27

We all watch this too early.

SPEAKER_02 5:29

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 5:30

Way too early. Way too early. Wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

This one isn't as bad as some other ones, though.

SPEAKER_04 5:34

No, true. True. Yeah, this just has a lot of profanity in it. But like, the but the the the the actual like content isn't bad. Yeah, content is like, you know, your kind of rom-com kind of like fun content. PG 13. It's it's a PG 13. Is it? I think it's actually, is it rated R? I think it's rated R. Yeah, they dropped too many F bombs for PG 13 back then.

unknown 5:58

Huh. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 6:00

It's rated R. Um. So we we sh yeah, no, it's too, it was way too, but like it, it you gotta watch it. So if you haven't, and I assume a lot of you, if not most of you, probably have seen it, because again, it is probably his universally, I think it's I think it's like the most popular movie. Yes, most likely.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

I mean, like, I think first of all, Eddie Murphy is just that guy, right? Like he has like 10 million movies that we could claim as like his number one movie, but I think Coming to America like was one of I think first of all, I think it was one of his earlier movies. I might be wrong on that. And it it really cemented him as like lead man. He was he was the guy, man. Yeah, he was the guy, and Arsenio. Arsenio. Being

Why Coming To America Endures

SPEAKER_02 6:55

the, you know, being the second top tier.

SPEAKER_04 6:58

Top tier. Um top tier. I mean, it really is, you're gonna laugh, laugh out loud, funny. Like it's just not, yeah. Anyway, so we're gonna we're gonna kind of go through the highlights of the of the sh of the film and just kind of really pull out because there are things, there are important things to pull out from this. And for sure, it's couched in comedy, but like so many things, a lot of like comedy really kind of it it paints reality in a way for us to be able to swallow well. Um and that's kind of the beauty of comedy. It's like it talks about real stuff, but in a way that you can receive, you know what I'm saying, in a really in a in a in a way that that it that most people can receive. So um, so like just to paint the scene or just the the premise of the movie, uh Eddie Murphy plays a character named Prince Hakeem. Uh he is the prince of Zamunda, which is a country in Africa. James Earl Jones plays his father, brilliant, um, and he's the king. And so uh it's his 21st birthday, and he is uh about to meet the woman he's gonna marry, like they do arrange marriages, and so that's the big deal. It's like you get to meet your bride, and he's feeling a way about that. He's like, but I don't know her, and I don't I don't love her, and I want to marry somebody I actually love, not just somebody I meet. So, but this is tradition, and so tradition trumps his desire. Like, and so he's gotta go through this whole ceremony thing um where he is introduced to uh a woman who's been trained up to be a queen, like that's all she's ever had.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Shout out Vanessa Bell Callaway.

SPEAKER_04 8:50

Shout out, shout out, big shout out. Um, and um and she so she she's presented to him, and he's like, this is not this. One of the best scenes in the movie. Oh, yeah. Really in movie history in general. Like that's one of those scenes. She's your queen. Well, a couple of scenes.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 9:13

You almost have it just like him.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

Totally free from infection.

SPEAKER_04 9:23

What is it? What is it like taking to taking your direction or something?

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Some like it's just to be used at your discretion. They are painting the picture of an object. That's it. Okay, this is a this is not, and I think it's I love that Akeem sets the stage that he is looking for a partner. Like he wants somebody that can add value to his life, that he can receive counsel from that that could that could act be an actual help meet, right? Like he is like, okay, so she's pretty, right? And thank you all for this wonderful dance. I was like, are these like the Alvin Ailey dances? Where'd they

Tradition Versus Real Partnership

SPEAKER_02 10:05

get these dances from? Nah, right. They were fantastic in those itty bitty costumes. Correct. Okay, but but like, you know, he he sets the stage that like what you guys are saying I should want, I know myself well enough to know that that would be a trap and that I would not be content with that. And I think that's so important that a lot of times, especially when we're young, and it's it's such a coming of age movie, right? Because like he's 21. He's 21. Right, and it's like, all right, it's time for you to move into the next phase of your life, and here's what, here's what you're gonna have, and here's what here's what that's gonna look like. And that I feel like that's kind of how older generations pass stuff down to us. Even when you think about like when you should be married, when you should have kids, you know, the type of person you should be marrying, or the type of career you should have, or the type of what kind of income you should have. Like the older generations have set out like these delineated paths, right? And then they start looking at you funny when you when they feel like you you fall. Yeah, yeah, you know, because my family now, they all think I'm lying. They like my grandma's like, I know you lying. I know she out here, she got somebody. Okay, grandma, listen. And I think this is because of what they want to pass down, because y'all got married at 18.

SPEAKER_04 11:30

Yeah, you know, because that's what that's what you that's it's like, and quite frankly, you pass down what you know, like you don't, you know, you just do somebody. Um, I heard this at uh uh somebody told me this, and we was at a conference, and she said this quote to me, and I wrote it down because I love the quote so much, and she's not her quote, but she heard it from somebody else. I was like, yo, that's that's kind of that's kind of crazy. Um, she said, tradition is peer pressure from dead people.

SPEAKER_02 12:01

Dang.

SPEAKER_04 12:03

I said, whoa, like that's a that's a pretty accurate uh description. Like, and and quite and you know, dead people sometimes in a physical sense, but also could be like in the you know, they could be alive physically, but not alive, and so because you're you're not you you're you're unwilling to move forward, you're unwilling to accept anything. Come on, make this deep, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Okay, they could be dead, you know, physically, but you know, be dead, you know, because they're not really living. That's what you understand. I love it. I love I love deep roof. Okay, get in there, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:45

Yeah, yeah. So, so uh, so yeah, I just I think like in this in as you're as we're kind of meeting him and his parents, you have this dichotomy about from you know, new, new and old tradition, um, and there's an unwillingness to accept a new thought or a new way.

SPEAKER_02 13:05

Yeah, well, and I think he starts the scene off with, I'm about to break these traditions. Because why are we talking on an intercom at the dinner table? Yes, yes, you know what I'm saying? Like, and and he goes up to his father and his father says, Oh, they're looking like a mustache. And his mom says, It's been a year. It's been a year. Like, yeah, y'all at the same table, but you can't see each other. That's ridiculous. That's crazy. You know, but he he is like, this is pointless. Like, some of the systems we have built are keeping us further apart, right? And so, like, and in the system that we've built, you're you're building things that that don't give me an authentic chance to have love or a chance to have authentic love or a chance to have authentic relationships. And I think he really, it's so funny to me that he's like, I must go to America, you know, to find what I'm looking for, because obviously uh uh it ain't here.

SPEAKER_04 14:04

Nope, it's not here. Uh and so, you know, so his he has a best friend named Simi. That's Arsenio Hall's character. And Arsenio Hall is your like that character is um is your typical, like, he he likes he likes a good life. Like he likes I don't know what you I don't know what you own, but you tripping, man. Like, yeah, why wouldn't you want all of this? Like, duh, like why why you would try to do something different? Why wouldn't you want a woman that would just do whatever you want? Why wouldn't you want like you know, this all this stuff? Why wouldn't you want to live your prince life? And and and it's you can see because it's like that's not his life. He's not a prince. And he's like, why would you like to be able to do that? He gets to tag along, he gets to tag along.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

It's so funny when he goes to get him, he's like, hey man, where the rose petals at? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, where the rose petals at?

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Because why we ain't got the rose petals no more?

SPEAKER_04 14:58

Because he was because he questioned, he had just questioned his parents, like, there are some things I just want to stop doing. Like, it's not necessary in the rose petals. Was one is like, why do I have to have rose petals everywhere? And so, of course, his dad snaps his fingers and was like, anybody that does rose petals for my son is gonna have to answer to me. Something like that. And so they so they they back up, so no more rose petals. So Simi's like, no, like, what happened to the rose petals?

SPEAKER_02 15:26

We need the rose petals.

SPEAKER_04 15:28

So he's all about the, you know, he's all about the good life.

SPEAKER_02 15:33

But I think it's so interesting because, you know, as millennials, as middle adults, you know, and uh some of us, you know, I feel like we're all over the place as far as, you know, where we are in the child rearing phases, right? Like some of us got kids graduating high school, you know. Some of us, company included, are are are beginning new journeys, you know. Uh, you know, some of us have, you know, middle schoolers, and you know, like we're all some of us don't have no kids. We out here, okay, but can still have kids. Don't let the okay, the promise is still for you. Okay, the promise is still for you, right? Right. It's in absolutely. Let me tell y'all something. If you need somebody to join you in a faith move, do not call exavigate.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

No, no, I wasn't looking at the case. I wasn't sad.

SPEAKER_04 16:30

I was getting excited for it. My my comment was more to you being extra, not to what you were saying. You were just being extra. That's what I was wondering. Whatever to, but everybody.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Somebody needed to hear that on today. That's alright. Amen. But anywho, anywho, you know, like I think, but as

Tradition As Pressure From Dead People

SPEAKER_02 16:45

we're thinking about, you know, the life that we want our kids to have, what we want them to have, what we want them to be exposed to, right? Like, you want your children to have this life that you've never, you you might not have had, right? Like, they're gonna grow up in situations that you did not grow up in because we have had the the privilege of making different choices. We have more options to make different choices than our parents did, right? And so that has given us access, that's given us exposure, right? Uh, some of y'all tried that gentle parenting stuff. I was there with you, I walked you through it, okay? I walked you through your gentle parenting phase. And then I helped you walk out of it. All right. But if it's still working for you, I want you to still rock with it. That's right. Okay, lean with it, rock with it, do what you gotta do. Right. But we, but we, I think there's there is like this fresh undertaking of we want our children to have different experiences. But I think what this movie shows is that even in even growing up with everything, with everything at your disposal, right, with every convenience, with every privilege, with every opportunity, right, there is still a process that you have to go through to really, to really discover who you are, to really discover what it is that you really want out of life. I watch, um, so I've been, I don't know why. I don't know why. Again, I repeat, I don't know why. But I have become uh I I seem to be very tuned in to T.I.'s family right now, right? Because it's the kids, you know, it's so entertaining. It pops up on my Facebook, and I'll be like, what Damani and King over here doing, right? Right. And but I love listening to interviews with Damani because when they ask him about, you know, growing up with T.I. and Tiny, you know, Tiny's not his mom, but you know, growing up in that household, and like, when did you realize that like, you know, you were like in a in a superstar family, you know? And he was like, it was the third grade, you know, when, you know, my dad came to pick me up from school, like regular stuff. He's like, Oh, yeah, Pops is coming to pick me up from school, right? And all the kids ran to his dad. They was like, hey, it's T.I. And he was like, hey, yo, that's Pops. What y'all getting so excited for? That's just Pops, right? But like he's so grounded in it that like, you know, the big house means something to us. But if the kids grew up in the big house the whole time, they're like, It's just their house. It's just home. This is this is the house. Right? It ain't do we got 500 rooms? Yeah, but it's this is I personally say it needs to. Right. I'll be in the kitchen and they tell me I can't go in the motherwood's stuff. Yeah, exactly. I can't even sit on the furniture, right? And so like his life is so grounded, and his journey of discovering who he is in and out of the spotlight is so interesting because he's like, all right, I'm really like, you know, I'm really trying to be grounded, I'm really trying to be my own man, I'm really trying to do things in a way that that speaks to who I am and being really authentic. And I think when I look at coming to America, especially in that first scene, before you know, we get on that flight to Queens, New York, which I think is hilarious. Hilarious. Um, but but when I look at Prince Akeem, he's like, This is just the house, this is the palace. Yeah, right. Your mom and dad, like, you know, and I want to be a king. And I need a space where I'm not the prince of Zamunda, where I am a king and I feel safe being him, which he gets with Simi, right? Because when he goes with Simi, Simi be like, bump all that. Yeah. Okay, I'm about to fight you like a regular man. All right, and Simi, but Simi is also like, now let's go eat them fruits and berries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and and call the servants around. You know, and so, but but when you think about marriage and when you think about him building his own, not just his own family, but his own leadership as a prince, he doesn't want to start that on a foundation of, you know, something that's of entitlement and and everything that's gonna benefit the public, but not benefit him. Yeah. And I think especially for those of us who are in, I think, really high profile positions, really visible. I think the older we get and the higher you climb up in these leadership roles, you become more visible, right? There has to be, your private life has to be so foundational and it has to be so secure and authentic because you have to be able to rely on that. You have to be able to rely on the people who know you for real so that you can go out and serve the people who are only benefiting from you and not giving back.

SPEAKER_04 21:45

So as we go through, like, so he he he says, I I want to go somewhere else. His father, this is really interesting, kind of he's like, you know. I met the queen to be. He really wasn't feeling that. And then he and his dad go and have a talk. And he's like, I need to experience life. And his dad interprets that as you want to go sow your royal oats. Go do it. And then come back and marry this woman. Like that was. So that's what he and he let he kind of let him. He just said, Okay, cool. I'm gonna go. He had his own plans, um, but he knew he wasn't gonna be able to go if his dad knew his plans. So he ain't even tell him all that.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

So he and Simi like, where we gonna go? I need to go to America to find the kind of woman I'm looking for. Because I don't know, that's what they thought America was. Are they women who really use their minds and more independent and all this stuff? So they said, where we gonna go? And they decide to go to New York. And then they said, Where we gonna go in New York? Well, where would you go to find a queen? Queens, New York.

Running To Queens To Find Self

SPEAKER_04 22:55

So it it really is, it sets up this incredible story of um of this extreme experience that we're about to see. And and so, you know, you come from royalty in a country in Africa to 1980s Queens, New York. My lord. Like, of which they know nothing about. And so there's this scene where they're walking to the airport and they have you know this crazy amount of luggage, all these servants carrying their stuff, but um um and uh Eddie Murphy's character, he's like, okay, we can't let people know that we're rich. Yeah, we gotta make sure that we live like everybody else. And you see all these people with this luggage coming through, and people just watching and staring. He has no, to your point, he's been so he's been the prince. Yeah, that's that's all he really knows. And so even though he has this desire to be something different, he can't be yet. He doesn't know nothing, he doesn't know, and so he doesn't realize how ingrained this prince is in him, yeah. And so he has he has to unlearn the prince life, and we're watching him do that in real time, and so it became it's it's really comical in the beginning because you're like, dude, why would anybody think you were regular? But in his mind, he's thinking, because I want to be regular, I must be regular. It's like that ain't how this works.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

The way he was letting money just slide through his hands, he was the gold toothbrushes gone. Like done. All the luggage, everything got stolen. Everything got stolen.

SPEAKER_04 24:43

Hey, and I can't even blame him. It's like, yo, hey, this is this is our payday. And then they see everybody in their clothes the next day, be like, wait a minute, I think I know where our stuff went. Um, and so so they what what I what I think is so interesting about watching this is he he's like, okay, I don't want to be rich, I don't want to be royalty, so I'm gonna go all the way to the other extreme and be as poor as I possibly can.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

Yeah, because we could have found a middle ground, you know what I'm saying? Like you know what I'm saying. I as soon as I as soon because even the taxi driver was like, You guys look like you should be in Manhattan. Exactly. I don't know about Queens. As soon as we pulled up to the common, because he said take us to the most commonplace. As soon as we pulled up, I'd have been like, hey, a little less common. Yeah. Ride me over to the suburbs. You know what I'm saying? Okay, like uh-uh.

SPEAKER_04 25:38

Yeah, no, and that was funny. It's just, but he wanted so badly to find himself, and he knew he, it's almost like he couldn't do that in anything that even remotely resembled what he was coming from. And I think like that is that's a really interesting place to be when you are so you know what you don't want to be, but you don't yet know what you want to be.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:06

So it's like I have to go so far the other way. And because I don't know what else to do. I don't know what middle looks like yet, you know. Um, and and I don't I think that's a dis it's a discovery that we have to often go on um as as people, but as leaders too, is like, all right, that didn't work, so I'm gonna swing the pendulum all the way over here because I don't know quite what does work, but I know that didn't work. And then what you find is often, like you said, it's somewhere in the middle. But sometimes to before you get to the middle, you have to you have to hit the other extreme, um, so that you feel what both extremes are, and you're like, okay, this neither one of these is quite it. Let's take a little bit of both and let's bring it bring it to a balance. And I think that as we go through the movie, we start to see the balance, the balancing act a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. I I think it's interesting because not only does he not know who he is yet, he's never had a date. That was one thing I thought about. I was like, this man has never dated. No. Right? He has never, you know, went on a date, saw a woman he was interested in, said, I like her. Yes, I want to talk her, talk to her a little bit more, I want to get to know her a little bit more, right? His whole life, they say, Hey, we're gonna find you a queen. Don't even worry about it. Okay, matter of fact, there's a woman being trained from birth to be your queen. To be your queen. Okay, so you you have nothing to worry about. You don't have to do any finding, right? And so as he's going on his journey, he goes to the club, right? And uh, I'm sorry, the Peaches song is my absolute favorite. My name is Peaches, and I'm the best. I ain't even gonna say next line. But anywho, it was hilarious. And so he's just sitting there talking to five million women, and they're all not it. Because number one, as the barber later told him, yeah, okay, you don't go to the club to find a boo, especially, especially when you are secretly a prince, right? And I think we talked about this in a former episode, right? Because you can't go somewhere that doesn't match you, yeah, right, to find something that that's gonna be compatible. Yeah, right. You're not gonna find anything compatible in there, right? Like everybody in there, they was all a little off. It was all a little off the lady with the lighter underneath the hands, Jonah Arc. Right, right. A little off. Yep. Okay, right. And so, but and and and you know, and everywhere they went, they just thought because they were used to things presenting themselves to them. They were not used to going out and finding it. That's good. Right. And I think for uh for young adults, especially, I think I work with college students, right? And I think that that is one of the hardest things for them to learn is that I'm gonna have to go out and get it. Right. Like I'm gonna have to go out, I'm gonna have to figure me out. I gotta figure the world out. And I'm and and not just I'm gonna have to go out and work hard, but there are things I have to figure out. I I really don't have it all figured out yet. There are things that I'm gonna have to master, right? There are things I'm that other people that are older and have more experience than me understand that I don't yet understand. And I think, you know, that comes as you grow, as you grow through different stages of your leadership and as you go through different stages of your experience, you don't know what you don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:50

Right.

SPEAKER_02 29:50

And so there are a lot of people who make the assumption that I'm ready, right? I'm I'm I'm I've had enough experience, I've done the things, and they don't necessarily comprehend why doors aren't opening for them or why things aren't being

Dating, Environment, And Intentional Search

SPEAKER_02 30:05

offered to them. It's because you don't know what you don't know. Yeah. And you you have not yet uh experienced what other people may have experienced and and have the context that they have. And so when he's out there dating, right, he has no clue what he's doing or what he's looking for. And so everywhere he goes, Simi is like, all right, it gotta be one of them, pick one and let's go. Yeah, you're gonna go. All right, it got to be one of them, pick one and let's go. Right? Because they go to the the little community event and they got the girls in the bikinis up on the stage. And I think it was Miss Black Week or Miss Miss Black Awareness.

SPEAKER_04 30:39

Black Awareness Week or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 30:41

Yeah, I was like, okay, we just making stuff up. Um, but you know, Simi says, all right, this is the best queens got the offer. Pick one of them and let's go because surely it's going to present itself to me. I'm not gonna have to work to find it, I'm not gonna have to work to get it, it's just gonna show up. And I think that we get to points in our lives where we have to unlearn that. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

Look at you, look at you.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

It's good, very good. Yeah, right. You have to unlearn that. It is not going to just present itself to you. No, it's you are gonna have to do some work. You are you are gonna have to do some, you're gonna have to be intentional about the things that you want. It's not just gonna show up in your life.

SPEAKER_04 31:18

And it's and you have to be in the right place. And I think that that, like he, you know, like you said, the barber said, that's you go into the you in the wrong environment. Yeah. Like you're not even in the right place.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

You need to go to the to the church.

SPEAKER_04 31:30

You need to go to the church, you need to go to the library, you need to go to all this place, you know.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

And it's like I might make me a little visit to the library. Make sure I'm not what I'm looking for.

SPEAKER_04 31:42

There you go. Uh, but you need to be where the right person is gonna find you, or where you're gonna find the right person.

SPEAKER_06 31:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:49

And so he shows up at this event, and you know, that it's it's like, and then he he kind of, even though Simi is like, okay, um, this is where this is all right, it must be one of these. Okay, so this is it reminds me of what I think we talked about this on another episode of David. It's not the same, but like this, like, all right, here are the ones lined up, pick one. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. There has to be another. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Because he had that in Vanessa Bell Callaway. Like, yeah, the lady that was prepared for him, that was presenting. He when he saw that, he said, nah, that I've seen that before. Yeah, right. He's looking for something that he hasn't seen before. That's right. He's looking for something, and she hasn't seen before.

SPEAKER_04 32:38

Okay, go on. Uh-huh. And she, y'all gotta forgive Queen. She be taking these moments, boy. She be really taking these moments. Um, and and so he he's uh he's looking, and and you know, if if you're familiar with the story of David in the Bible, uh 1 Samuel.

SPEAKER_02 32:56

Oh, second first Samuel 1 Samuel 16, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 33:00

Um, and you know, he's uh God God is about to anoint a new king. Samuel is the prophet, he has said, I need to anoint, I need you to go find um our king, the king at the house of the house of Jesse. So Jesse brings out all his sons, and they're all kind of your pic picture perfect, or at least the you know, they're all in your picture-perfect realm. Like these, these guys, one of them could be king based on how they're presenting themselves, based on how they look, and based on kind of with the way they're being displayed. That's that those are your kings. And Samuel goes through each one and God rejects all of them. And he's like, I know I'm supposed to be here to anoint a king. Yeah, this is where I'm supposed to be. You ain't got no other sons. And so Jesse's like, Yeah, I mean, I got you know, my boy David in the back, but he with the you know, sheep and you know, doing all of that. You he said, bring him out here. And immediately this is who God had appointed. And you know, you know, this it's not, I wouldn't say it's it's not, it's not an identical situation at at all.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

But but but we get where you're going though.

SPEAKER_04 34:17

You understand? But it's like the the woman that he ultimately wanted to pursue was not immediately uh displayed. Um she was doing her thing in the back, and she was she was doing it, and then she was called up to do something that she needed to do, but she had she had organized the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02 34:39

Ruth is making this parallel.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

But okay, but am I wrong? I'm wrong, am I wrong? No, you're not wrong.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

Okay, this is this is hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 34:54

Okay, like she was in the back doing her thing, and she gets called to the front. And when she gets called to the front, which she obviously is not a person who does spotlight, that's not what she does, but she went and she because she she's a background person, but she was in the front and she uh he he noticed her, and it was like something's different about her. And I think just to, you know, we we talk about right place, right time, but also like on her end, she was in her lane. She wasn't worried about being on display. Yeah, she was in her lane doing her work, doing her thing, and got noticed doing what she did.

SPEAKER_02 35:37

No, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 35:38

And that that is, you know, I think recognizing what what is it I do, be busy doing what you do, and then there will be moments where time and um opportunity collide.

SPEAKER_02 35:58

You miss such a moment to say time and season. Come on, I didn't. I don't you know ecclesiastes there, all right.

SPEAKER_04 36:04

Time and season collide. Yeah, all right. Um, and and and what what you've been looking for, it's it's there, right? And that, you know, in their case it's a relationship, but it also can be an opportunity, it could be an elevation. It's an opportunity, you know, it could be it could be uh promotion, it could be all of those things. Yeah, but the but I think the the the the lesson is be busy doing what you do well and do it well. Um and when it's your turn to be on display for what you do, yeah, you will be seen. And then if you are looking for someone who's doing something well, be in places that match what you're looking for. So it's it's gotta be a both and situation. Um, and I think we we often neglect those two things. Like, environment is just as important as

Getting Noticed While Staying In Lane

SPEAKER_04 36:56

being busy doing what you do.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I I think that's really significant because, and I think it's important to note that she wasn't up there trying to get her next opportunity. No, first of all, she had a man, a shallow man, a retract. A trifling one, yeah. We had a whole man. Yeah, you know, but she ain't know that yet. Nope. I mean, she could have, I wish she could have seen that. She kind of did, though. All that hairspray, all that hairspray, okay. And he ain't put nothing in that basket. When that basket passed by him and he looked at that woman like, like, why are you passing it to me? Absolutely not. Like, sir, and you actually come for money, right? Just raggedy, right? But she wasn't, she wasn't looking for her next door, her next opportunity. She was actually stewarding an opportunity for a bigger cause, right? She was working for for the community, right? On behalf of the community, like you know, when she said, we appreciate the money that jingles, but we prefer the money that folks. Okay, I feel like every church wrote that down.

SPEAKER_00 38:06

Like, we need the money that folds.

SPEAKER_02 38:10

Okay, everybody talks about that folded money. Absolutely. Okay. Folded money. That money that little folded money.

SPEAKER_04 38:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:20

But I think she, and she wasn't in her position. I think another thing that we have to unlearn, and this is something that I was actually thinking about in reference to another movie, catch us on the next episode, right? Is how we handle our ego as we maneuver through different stages of life. Because you're gonna get really good at something, right? You're gonna become the master at something, right? You're gonna be the one that everybody looks to. And because even though, you know, when they were all done, you know, the reverend was like, oh, look at you up there with your beautiful daughters, and it's so wonderful, right? They were, they were a very well-known family, right? And you're gonna you're going to grow in leadership and you're gonna become really good at something, and you're gonna become known for something. How are you gonna handle your ego when you're the one on the stage? When you're the one that people are calling on and people are depending on, right? And you're the one leading the charges and leading the movements. What are you gonna do with your ego? And I think, because I think it's important to know like what did Eddie Murphy see in her? Because he has seen a lot of beautiful women. Right, right, right, right. Right? But it was her heart for what she was doing. It was the gentleness that she did it with, right? It was the way that she maneuvered the moment, right? Like he's watching because he's looking for a queen. He's not just looking for a wife, he's not just looking for a woman, right? Because he done seen plenty of women, right? Like Simi said, hey, these women up here in these bikinis, right? That's obviously the best. He's looking for a queen. He's looking for a queen, and he already said, I want somebody that can partner with me, that can offer advice, right, that can help me to make difficult decisions, right? Because I'm a king, right? And I know what my role is gonna is gonna entail. I know the pressures of it, right? I know the responsibility of it, right? I and the more you know and understand who you are, the more you know and understand who can walk alongside you in that journey. That's correct. Right. And I think even in friendships, that's something that I've come to learn. Like the older I get and the more I, the more I understand myself and my call and and the assignments that God has given me in the earth, the the more selective I am, not just about who gets close to me, but about how close they can get. Right. Because if I'm under a lot of pressure, if there's a lot of fire, and if there's a lot of um, and if I have to live my life a certain way, right, if you're not going to, if you're not gonna be able to stand the heat, I can't invite you into the kitchen. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Like if you're not gonna be able, if the weight, if all you do is complain about what you're going through and and everything is heavy and nothing is ever good, I can't, you can't do it. It's gonna limit your access. Yes, right. And so as he's looking at who is going to help me carry the crown, right? The crown is heavy, right? What's the saying? Uh heavy is the head of the one who wears the crown, right? The crown is heavy. Who can help me carry it? Yeah, and what he saw when she stepped up there was that she had the grace, the attitude, and the ability to help him, yeah, to walk with him, right? That he saw a queen in her.

SPEAKER_04 42:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he this is, and I love this. I then we see him do something that a lot of us are not willing to do. He he shows up where she is and humbles himself. Come on here to be in the presence of somebody he wanted to be connected to. Um he went as low as you could go, yeah, just to be in her presence. Like, you know what I'm saying? And it's like a lot of us go to your to the ego, you know, point, a lot of us are so we're we're it's like, no, this is my resume. Now, this is what I do, right? You know, you know, this is what I this is what I've done, you know, all this stuff. And it's like, okay, cool, that's cool. But it's like when you when you have when you said, yeah, but this is where I want to be, okay. Do you want to be there bad enough to ignore your resume? I don't know. But this dude said, bump the resume, my lord. I'm looking for my future, and if my future requires me to be lower than my resume, I'm gonna start lower.

SPEAKER_01 43:12

Oh, wait a minute. Wait

Humility, Ego, And The Entry Fee

SPEAKER_01 43:15

a minute, Ruth Abigail. Wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 43:18

If my future requires me to be lower than my resume, and also I think he knew that the situation was temporary. Yeah, that's right. Like he didn't go in thinking I'm lowering myself and from now on I'm gonna be mopping floors, which he didn't know how to do. Correct. Right? Like he knew this was a temporary inconvenience so that I could have a future privilege, right? Like I'm looking, I'm looking for a wife. I I'm I'm looking for I'm looking for the future queen of Zamunda. Yeah. Okay. And if I have to mop floors and and throw out Trash at McDowell's which McDowells which principle come on of McDowells is so funny to me. They got the golden arches, we got the golden golden arches. Okay. Like they got the big Mac. We got the Big McCesame C.

SPEAKER_04 44:21

Like sir. And let later on you see him with the McDonald's like book that he read looking at their strategy.

SPEAKER_02 44:30

That was hilarious. Yeah. Hilarious, right? But it it's it's he is how I I love what you said because I'm sorry, I just I just I want to pull it out. I want to pull this moment out, right? Because there are a lot of us who have accepted way less than that. We have accepted people who who are there because it's convenient. Yeah. Not because they have inconvenienced themselves to be in their life. They they would not inconvenience themselves, right? But when it's convenient, they're like, eh, I guess I could. All right. You know, because it works for me and because I was already here, right? And we give those people so much access just because they're there. And you have to really examine what is it in me that opened the door for somebody that wasn't willing to pay an entry fee. You get what I'm saying? That's good. They're not, they are they around here looking, you know. I'm a shopper. You know what I'm saying? I'm a shopper. And most of my shopping happens on the clearance rack. You know, it's really problematic. It's so hard for me to put a good deal down. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm like, I bought something yesterday because it was 49 cents. It's not even for me. I was like, this will look good on somebody else. And it's 49 cents. I'm not leaving this very cute thing here that's 49 cents. It doesn't match my aesthetic at all. Uh-huh. Okay, but it matches somebody's aesthetic. Okay, and it's 49 cents. I can't leave that. Okay, right. And there are people you have discounted yourself for. And they are saying, I can't leave that. It's 49 cents. Oh, might as well take it. I'm not gonna use it, I'm not gonna treat it right. I don't have any intention or our means of prioritizing this, but might as well, because it's only 49 cents. Wow. Right. And you have discounted yourself, and for a while it felt good because they took you home, right? They they they made you feel like they were gonna walk with you and they were gonna put you as a priority until they threw you in a closet somewhere. Yep. Right. And they literally pay you no attention until something reminds them of you. And now they popping back up on your phone. Right. It's like, I'm sorry, uh, excuse me, where you come from? Because I thought you threw me in. I thought you threw me out because I was the discount. Because when you don't pay full price for something, you don't appreciate it as much. No, you do not. Unless you're me, because I'm a clearance shopper. Okay, and I appreciate all my things, except I literally bought this for somebody else, right? But but you don't you don't appreciate, but I do have something for my birthday. This is how I treated myself. For my birthday, I said, I'm gonna buy something expensive that I have to pay full price for. And I went and I wanted a purse, right? And uh I went in all the stores, okay, and I was like, all right, I'm gonna find me a purse, and uh ended up falling in love with this very cute Kate Spade, right? And uh and paid full price for it. And now every time there's a piece of lint on her, I'm like, um, how'd that get there? Get that off of the because when you pay full price for something, you take care of it. She in a little dust bag, yep. You know what I'm saying? The rest of my purses are at the top of the closet somewhere, right? But not no, I paid full price for this. Yep. Right. And and this is suede. Yep. Okay, I gotta take care of this, I gotta take care of this, okay. This suede leather. I got, I can't let nothing happen to this, right? But when you you might be made of the most expensive materials, right? The Lord sent you down as a high-end luxury item, but you set your own price. You set the terms and conditions of how people can treat you, right? Of of what they have to do to get access, of what they have to do to keep you, right? To take you home. You set the terms and conditions. Yeah. You said when you don't allow the Lord to set the terms and conditions, you will end up discounting yourself, and people will not treat you according to your actual worth. Because they didn't pay that.

SPEAKER_04 48:55

And that that's really, you just described the relationship with um the the difference in the relationship with Lisa and her and her current boyfriend and Lisa and Akeem.

SPEAKER_05 49:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:06

Because her current boyfriend didn't pay the price. He he he was he he's he's Akeem if Akeem would have stayed in Zamunda. Dang. Right? Dang. He he's he's Akeem if if if if if he would have stayed in Zamunda. And it's like, um, like that, and that ain't what she wanted. And he wanted somebody that Akeem didn't want. They so they were really in the same position, just different countries. And he didn't pay the price, and he felt like I deserve her because

Discounting Yourself And Raising The Price

SPEAKER_04 49:40

I just I just have the things that I have. Yeah, and I and he didn't even work for those things. He was born into it, just like Akeem was. But Akeem, he paid the price by going low and doing like the trash, mopping, sweeping, being treated like trash by her father because he didn't he didn't have anything. You know what I'm saying? And so he, but he he endured it for him. That was paying the price, and and he was willing to do that. She discounted herself um for a long time with dude until she didn't, until she saw who he really was.

SPEAKER_02 50:25

Yeah, yeah, until until and it's I think for her, because again, she was humble, you know. Technically, she the queen of McDowell's. She is saying she ain't she ain't no rink and dank. Nope. All right, and she out here, she and she didn't have just a little raggedy job, you know. I think she was. I don't know if they ever tell us her title, but she was back there with a calculator. So I didn't know. She's like director of operations or something like that. Yeah, C O O O. Okay, I'm giving her a title today. She was COO of McDowell. She was. Okay, chief operating officer, okay, out here making things happen. Okay, and I think, I think it took a moment for her to really stand in the authority of who she was and to realize, first of all, because you don't really realize here's here's an absolute truth. You don't really realize who the people around you really are until you really see yourself for who you really are. 1000%. Right? When you value yourself, you will re-examine how how did everybody get here? How how who all let y'all in? Okay, I let y'all in. Yeah. But I feel differently now. Yeah. Because I see myself differently, right? I raised the price. And naturally, the people who were already in your life and who already wanted to be in that space, right, they don't even notice that you raised the price because I was already, I came in paying at the rate of what you were actually worth, right? I came in making that level of sacrifice. I came in making, you know what I'm saying? Like for my friends, my day ones, you know, they call me any time of day, you know, because we give in at that level, right? But some other people may have noticed, huh? Something happened, something changed, something shifted. Because I raised, I raised the price. That's right. I read it's not enough anymore. It's not a reduction anymore. We're not we're not on the clearance rack anymore.

SPEAKER_04 52:29

This this is not this is not enough. Like, you know, you taking me to, you know, these fancy places and buying me flowers, it's not enough. Like, it's not enough.

SPEAKER_02 52:39

My lord.

SPEAKER_04 52:39

Yeah, and and and you know, all this access that you, it ain't enough no more.

SPEAKER_02 52:44

Man, when I realized that I was out here giving out free access, that people were just calling when they wanted to call, just getting all of my free advice and all of my all of my time and my energy, and and not that that is not a at times a God appointed thing, right? Because it absolutely is, but people were people were in a friend category, but not being a friend. Right? People were getting friend access, not mentor access, right? Not minister access. You were getting invited into the inner circle. Yep. Right? And you came in at a reduced rate. I don't have any discount friend rates. I know that's right. I don't have I don't have I don't have discount relationship rates. Nope. Right. I don't have discount, you know, inner circle access rates. Nope. Right. Though now the rates of ministry and career, those rates are not set by me. Right? Like those rates are set by the Lord.

SPEAKER_05 53:50

Right.

SPEAKER_02 53:50

But access to Jakueda, that is determined by how I value myself. That's correct. Right. And I set the price for that. And I I had to learn that the people that I had given the discounts to, oh, they were some of them were not even paying their annual dues. You know what I'm saying? You're not even paying the monthly membership fee. Hilarious. Right? You coming in, you came, you came back from Ghost Town, and you want full access again.

SPEAKER_04 54:25

That's right. That's right. That's right. Talk about hey. Hey, big head.

SPEAKER_02 54:32

Absolutely. No, I'm sorry. Some things have changed since the last time you were here. Some things have shifted. It's not finna work. Okay, that's not finna work. Like, and and and you're not, you you, there's a bare minimum now. Yeah. And and the bare minimum is much more than what it was before. Much more. Because when I started valuing myself, I took the price up. That's it. I took the price up. Yeah. Right. And I think that's what Lisa did as she started evaluating the little raggedy relationship with this raggedy. Just let yourself look. Right. Just let it shine through. Right. First of all, all that doggone hairspray. That's why the brain was gone. It's terrible. Okay. Terrible. Ruining the ozone layer. Horrible. I'll hear all this hairspray.

SPEAKER_04 55:22

You and your whole family. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:24

Yeah. Not you and your whole family. It's crazy. It's crazy. Right. But but when she really started evaluating, and she has something to compare it to, right? Because sometimes we don't have a model for how we should be treated.

SPEAKER_04 55:40

Well, and and the I think the the moment in the movie is the robbery. Like that, that that scene, yeah, right, where Samuel L. Jackson, right, he comes in as a robber. And I think that was his day, one of his debut scenes. I think it was. Yeah. Um, and he's got this this uh shotgun, and he and he's like, you know, give me all your money. And um I I Hakeem was he had he was had he had sat down with Lisa to have a conversation. He had a mop, and he slowly turned the stick of the mop out and and and disconnected it from the mop head. And you kind of have it's a it's a callback to when he and Simi were fighting with the sticks. He said, Oh, this this is my weapon. I I know what to do here. Like, I'm I'm an expert at this. And it was interesting because I think at that moment he started to find some balance. Yes, okay, this is something that I don't need to let go of. Yeah, I know how to protect folk, I know my skill, I know how to do that. I know how to, you know, I'm a prince, and I'm a he remember, I'm a prince, I'm trained. Like I'm I've got I've got this, and he used it to save the day, and it's what ultimately gets him noticed by her father, by everybody, right? Yeah, and her father gave him access that he couldn't have had before because he remembered

Keeping The Skills You Tried To Lose

SPEAKER_04 57:10

who he was. Yeah, even though you didn't want all of that, there were some things you had you still needed. And in that moment, I think he realized I need this. So then he gets access to her uh to her house, which is different than her job.

SPEAKER_02 57:29

That's good. You know what I'm saying? Also, quick shout out to Louie Anderson. Okay, oh come on, man. Come on, come on, Louie. Standing behind the counter, right? Like I'm like, this movie just has so many of the greats just just floating around.

SPEAKER_04 57:44

Just floating, just just there. It's like yeah, yeah, that's it's crazy. It's the cast is so good. Um so he gets he gets access to her home, which then puts them in a different relational opportunity opportunity. Because now you got a little closer.

SPEAKER_02 58:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:02

So that so so now we can go out here on the swings. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 58:07

And like, and so they had this moment, have a little moment. They had this. The mop in the office really wasn't getting it.

SPEAKER_04 58:13

No, no, no, no, no. But he had to start somewhere. It's like, I'm starting somewhere, you know what I'm saying? And and so he didn't think of trash, think of a key. Think of a key. Poe man. Oh man, that was great. Um, and so he he does that, they give him his little moment because what's his name? Daryl. I couldn't think of dude's name. Daryl, who's the soul glow.

SPEAKER_02 58:38

Um this let's just call him Soul Glow.

SPEAKER_04 58:40

Soul Glow. Oh Soul Glow, man. Soul Glow tried to force her to marry him by asking her dad, like, you know, and not asking her. They both decide, again, very much like Zamunda. Except she's not homegirl. That ain't who she is. Yeah, like no, y'all not finna have me doing out going out here marrying anybody, and so they and then she that makes her upset, rightfully so. So she's like, man, bump Daryl. So now her heart is opened to something that's really been there the whole time and available. So then they start their little relationship. And I think it's you know, it really is a it's it's again coming to the understanding of and unlearning that the experiences that you may have um shunned a little bit before that you're really trying to get away from, all of them aren't bad. And some of them you're gonna need to get to your next level. Yeah. Um so you don't wanna so when when when there's an opportunity to call those things back, don't don't suppress them. You you will need that um at some point. I think like I I growing up, you know, my father's a pastor and all this stuff, you there's certain things you just learn that you're good at um from being in that kind of environment. So, you know, communicating in front of crowds is not something that intimidates me. Um but don't say that too loud, the Lord might hear you. Well, I already do. I mean, I do it all the time, right? I do it, I do it all the time. And I don't, you know, I don't do it from the pulpit, nor do I intend on it. But I but I do it in different settings, including this one. It does not, it does not intimidate me, but it took me a while to accept that it doesn't intimidate me. Um and I I because I didn't want to be that. Like I was like, I don't be no, I don't want to have nothing to do with no kind of church, nothing, quite frankly. I don't want to be in that kind of world. I don't want to have those kind of, I don't want my career, I don't want a career to resemble that, anything like that. So I just pushed it to the side. And I didn't, I won't say I went extreme, extreme, but I did go to a place where that did not put me in the forefront ever. I worked with kids in the back, like that's what I was doing. And as I continued to move through what God was moving me through, there were moments where that skill became important and I could pull from it. And I and I and I realized, okay, this is not something I need to let go of. I need to begin to use this to um to to benefit what I'm doing, to benefit the role that I happen to be in. This is a skill that I can use to be effective in ways that other people may not really be able to be effective. Let me use it. Yeah and I think that that became that was something I had to come to realization of. So that is um, I think that's what he had to do. He pulled from something he what he didn't really want to identify with, but it got him to the next level because he could use it to be effective. And um, and so I I I've sat there and I was like, you know, I can identify with that a little bit. Um you know, you where you don't want to, you don't want to discount everything that you came from. Um it's not it's not all something you need to let go of, some stuff you gotta keep. Uh and and so yeah, so they they did that. Yeah, they did that. They did that. Um, all right, so the rest of the movie really kind of predictable. It's a rom-com, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:52

It's a rom com.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:53

It's a rom-com. Yeah, so you know, of course she finds out he's lying. She gets mad. No, Lisa, I want to marry you. I can't do it. No, I want to, I can't do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:04

They're out here on the on the subway, just arguing. Okay. And and all them people is like, right, uh, you tripping.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:17

The old lady talking about if she won't marry you, I

Readiness, Timing, And Mentorship Wisdom

SPEAKER_04 1:03:20

will.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:21

And he hands her them dogs. Them diamond earrings.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:25

Uh, and and so just throwing away money.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:28

Just every every money means nothing to him.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:31

At all. Not at all. So wrap us up, Quida. What we where we at at the end.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:37

You know, so I think it's interesting because she she she just got out of this relationship where this man was undervaluing her, right? And she discovered that he was as unauthentic as they as they could as they come. And then now she's in a space where she discovers that the man that you know treats her well, who she thought had nothing, but she was still willing. That's another thing though, she was still like, you know, uh, I'ma start from the bottom with you, and we're gonna bring you up because you a good man, you know, like she still had that same mentality, like I can work with this, ma'am. You ain't see he walked you to that apartment. She told me, I don't care about that. Okay, but, anyways, when you find out that not only is this a man of character, of integrity, but also of means, okay. Now you're talking about some word two different, ma'am. Right, okay. See, we get to the point where the Lord has opened all the doors and he has presented you with your good thing. Okay, he said, I'm not gonna withhold this good thing from you, all right? I'm gonna let you see how good it really was, how I thought of everything. The Lord's like, I thought of everything. I got a whole, you're about to be over a whole kingdom, all right. You was over a franchise, I'm about to put you over a kingdom, right? And she's sitting there like, I don't know, I don't know. And she needed a little moment, she needed a little time, right? She needed some time to gather herself. The thing that I love the most um when we got to the end of the movie, because you know, his parents from Zamunda actually came through. There's all right, all right, buddy. Simi called us, said y'all are broke, right? Don't know how that happened. All right, and that y'all living in terrible circumstances, right? So they didn't just send a servant, they flew to Queens. Flew, yeah. Yeah, and got the rose petals going and everything. Yep. Over there at the McDowell house. Yep, right. And so I think it's so interesting looking at the difference between his mother and his father and the way that their leadership kind of shines through in that moment because his father is tradition, you know, decrees. I said it, it must be this way. This is the way we've always done it. These are the established rules and the established order, right? And and we can't break. Because he found love. And his mom is like, well, maybe it's time that we change some things. And actually, our story got little got a little tinge of that, right? Because your parents ain't like me. Right. And so, like, she is willing to open new pathways for there to be new possibilities. And I think that a keen, it shows like he comes from these parents of both tradition and you know, innovation, right? Like, and he has both of those in him. And he's found a woman that I think is more close to his own mom. That's what I was, yes, that's it.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:37

I was about to say his mom resembles the queen that he really wants.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:41

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that he has, and so he has he has grown up seeing this very developed woman who is the foundation of the throne. Right. She's not the face on the throne, but she's what she's what's holding it up. That's correct. Right. She's what's holding it all together. Right. And his mom is, as she's learning more about Lisa, is saying, that's a queen. That's it. Right? That's a queen. And so everybody is recognizing who Lisa is, except Lisa at this moment. Yeah. Right. Everybody's like, hey girl, it's you. Yep. Okay. It gotta be you. And you know, grateful at the end of the movie, because you know, he was just like, all right, I'm just gonna succumb and I'm just gonna get married. And, you know, everybody, every Lisa, because Lisa finally recognized that she's the queen, was the one who ended up walking down the aisle toward him. Yes. And that's who he ended up marrying. But I think that it's such a it's such a story of identity and worth and how we come, what, what, what doors can open when you fully know who you are and fully know where you should be? Right? When when life becomes clear and when God allows you to move in your understanding. And there's so many opportunities and so many things that I've walked into that I've been very aware that if this had come in my life sooner, I would not have been ready for it. Yeah. If she, if, if, if Akeem as Prince Akeem, as Prince of Zamunda, as you know, the kingdom will be mine one day, if he had come into her life when she was still giving discounts, right? She she would not have been ready to accept not him as king, as prince, but herself as queen. Yeah, that's good. That's really good. And you have to be ready to understand who you are in order to walk alongside who somebody else is.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:40

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:41

To be able to walk confidently and to be in a place where you feel like, okay, I'm in a place where I give in this moment because I recognize that the weight that they have is one that I can carry. I'm built for it. Yep. I'm built for this person, I'm built for this situation, I'm built for this career, I'm built for this profession, right? But she had to, she had to come to that understanding within herself before she could walk down that aisle. And sometimes in life, and I'm just telling y'all from experience and and based off of what I've seen and what I've lived, sometimes the opportunities, God allows the opportunities to come when we're ready. And sometimes, you know, I used to really hate that because people would say it and it's almost used against you. Yeah, like you're not ready. Yeah, yeah, you're not ready for it. That's why you ain't got it, right? And it's like, first of all, back above me. Yeah. Right. As God has a time and a season for every purpose under heaven, Ecclesiastes 3. Right. There is time and season, and there's also grace. Yeah. Right. And we should not talk about people's stories as if they're behind. I hate it when we do that. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:55

We also shouldn't talk about people's stories as if they're in a vacuum. Because to your point, you might be ready, but the people you need to be connected to might not be ready for you. Yeah. So there's it's a both and, and you don't know when that time is. And so I think like that, I think that's so important. It's like you look and it's like, well, you might, well, no, it's it may not be that. It could be that this other thing isn't ready. And I, and and so I'm doing what I do, but I can't see everything. Only God can see that. And so let's not put it, let's not pretend like our progression is in a vacuum. It is connected to all these other entities that only God can see.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:36

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. And so if you are looking, especially for those of us because middle adults, we do a lot of mentorship, we do a lot of pouring, we give a lot of advice and counsel. If you are looking at someone's life, be sure not to try to make them skip steps. Be sure not to try to

Takeaways, Next Week, And Goodbye

SPEAKER_02 1:10:55

push them into something that they're not, that that they haven't developed into yet, right? Because everything has to work together for the good. And where they are right now, you may be able to see past it, but until they get to the point where they can see past it, they may not walk at the speed that you want them to. Yeah. Right. And all you can do is give them what God tells you to give them, right? But a lot of times we give a lot of advice that the Lord didn't tell you to give.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:28

Because you only see in part. God sees the whole thing. Yeah. And what you're seeing in part may be because of your perspective and the way you're looking at it, it may actually be incorrect if it's not including the whole picture. And even in our mentorship and in the ways that we advise and counsel people, we have to trust God. Yeah. And you have to, you have to speak those things, um, not speak those things which be not, which is the scripture, but you have to speak what God, what God wants to speak to that person. Yeah. Um, and not just your wisdom and your understanding, which is why mentorship is such a personal walk. Because I could have 10 students, right? 10 young adults who are all at the same age, about to graduate, about to go into the world, and every single one of them, I'm giving a different piece of advice, a different type of counsel, right? A different, a different uh way forward because it it gets catered to who they are and what they need. And for Lisa, you know, you're gonna talk to Lisa way different than you would her sister. Oh gosh. Her sister, her sister wore me out.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:40

Yeah, her sister was a lot, but you know what? But she needed something too, you know. She needed something too, just not a king. You know, she needed Simi. Her and Simi seemed to work out, they seemed to be uh right on the same page. Yeah, yeah, right on the same page.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:53

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Same lane.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:55

Yep, same lane. Oh man. Um, okay, so you know, Queen, I think we sold ourselves short on this one. Yeah, this was great. This was this actually pretty it wasn't so bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:07

It's the ones where we don't try too hard, you know, and just let it flow naturally. It wasn't so bad.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:12

I I think we pulled out some good stuff on this, which it was a good time. It was a good time. It's a good time. Um, coming to America, y'all. Go watch it. Uh, great. We'll watch it again for most of us. It's great, it's a great uh show. But uh for now, we're done. And uh we are uh we will see y'all next week. Hey, like, share, subscribe. Um, make sure you come part of the community. We love to have you. Uh, but until next week, we are going to keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom. Peace.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:45

Bye. Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast. We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode. Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think. We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom. See you then.